{"id":35921,"date":"2016-12-14T13:34:18","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T18:34:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=35921"},"modified":"2016-12-14T15:36:16","modified_gmt":"2016-12-14T20:36:16","slug":"master-of-firin-sword-ch5-the-christmas-bonuses-of-sin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=35921","title":{"rendered":"Master of Firin’ Sword CH5: The Christmas Bonuses of Sin"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fair warning; I did say I’d explain how to succeed <\/em>in Fire and Sword. <\/em>You’ve probably figured out by now how much of that means doing bad things to good people. We’ve got one or two more posts after this, then I’m moving on to another game, so if this isn’t your cup of tea I’ll catch up with you in a week or two.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

Recently I fell into the trap many small businesses fall into, which was to hire not enough mercenaries to pillage but far <\/em>too many to pay on time. Since I don’t want to incur any debts, or nocturnal throat-slittings, it behooved me to find alternate sources of revenue before payday came due. Thankfully, through a daring cavalry charge against a band of agrarian militants, I’ve secured some non-liquid assets. Behold!<\/p>\n

I say non-liquid, but in fact there is a fantastic amount of blood on these.<\/div>
I say non-liquid, but in fact there is a fantastic amount of blood on these.<\/div><\/p>\n

It is said that honor is a currency beyond price. I find this wholly accurate. In managing my affairs, I have found it entirely valueless. As for renown and heroism, the coin has <\/em>been minted that can buy these: it is a regular coin. For preference, lots of them.<\/p>\n

The bad news is that my little sortie has roused the sorely-taxed attention of Polish Justice. If they catch me, they will almost certainly <\/em>shoot at me. I didn’t become a warlord just so I could be shot at. No, for maximized profitability and minimized perforability–and to faster treat the burning fuse on my payroll–better by far to cross the border to the land of the jolly Cossacks, where no Poles dare to tread. On to the freedom of Bratslav!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
<\/div><\/p>\n

Ah. It is, in fact, under siege<\/em> by Poland. That is not necessarily a concern. They are not a monolithic people, after all, and I don’t actually know that the fellow laying siege is concerned with the welfare of all <\/em>Polish citizens.<\/p>\n

<\/div>
<\/div><\/p>\n

Ah.<\/p>\n

As my men thundered calmly to a different Cossack city, bringing me ever closer to the hour of payments due, I considered that this whole venture was–if not actually ill-considered–perhaps unequal to the ironies of fate. It would take bold and cunning action to reverse my fortunes. Fortunately, it is precisely <\/em>these qualities for which I will very shortly be famous.<\/p>\n

I vend my spoils next door and end with approximately two hundred and fifty thaler. Now–mercenary wages are expensive, but this should be just enough money to hire five more of them.<\/p>\n

You're drawing straws? Very good. Ah, hard luck, you've drawn a short...oh, you're coming with me anyway.<\/div>
You're drawing straws? Very good. Ah, hard luck, you've drawn a short...oh, you're coming with me anyway.<\/div><\/p>\n

Brushing confidently over any gentle stabs of self-doubt, I address my newly-bolstered hordes.<\/p>\n

“I’m sure you’ve all been wondering what we’ll do to pass the time until your well-deserved payday in, ah…I don’t expect you to keep track of time, of course…”<\/p>\n

“We do,” says a fellow with a tattoo of a dead pig on his forehead. “How else you think we know it’s a lad’s birthday?”<\/p>\n

“Charming! Well, I think I’ve lined up some fun for us. The plan is to go to a village, terrify them with our increased numbers yes that’s you, gentlemen, go ahead and wave your hands–oh, that’s clever, but I do mean YOUR hands–<\/em>and then we’ll sell the riches at a nearby town. Sound amenable?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, s’aright.”<\/p>\n

“Excellent! Oil well your blades, gentlemen, for soon we will descend–on Illnasty!”<\/p>\n

“Isn’t it supposed to be \u00d0\u2020\u00d0\u00bb\u00d0\u00bb\u00d1-\u00d0\u00bd\u00d1\u2020\u00d1-?”<\/p>\n

“There’ll be none of that, now.”<\/p>\n

<\/div>
<\/div><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here the die of fate will be cast. We few; we happy, hungry, anxious <\/i>few…<\/p>\n

NEXT WEEK: NO GOING BACK<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fair warning; I did say I’d explain how to succeed in Fire and Sword. You’ve probably figured out by now how much of that means doing bad things to good people. We’ve got one or two more posts after this, then I’m moving on to another game, so if this isn’t your cup of tea […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[242],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lets-play"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35921","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35921"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35921\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}