{"id":34281,"date":"2016-09-06T23:59:38","date_gmt":"2016-09-07T03:59:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=34281"},"modified":"2016-09-06T19:22:17","modified_gmt":"2016-09-06T23:22:17","slug":"ruts-vs-battlespire-ch25-things-to-do-before-you-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=34281","title":{"rendered":"Ruts vs. Battlespire CH25: Things to Do Before You Die"},"content":{"rendered":"

For your next weekend getaway, consider the Chimera of Desolation.<\/p>\n

From its charming villas, kept exclusive by a thoughtful plague infestation, to the cozy view distance maintained by a romantic fog, the Chimera of Desolation can be described with one word: exclusive. <\/em>Get ready for star treatment, because no matter where you roam helpful attendants will be there to personally murder you.<\/p>\n

There’s too much in the Chimera to experience in one lifetime–trust us, we’ve tried!–so you better start planning your vacation now. Let’s count down our Top Things to Do While You’re Briefly Surviving Level 5.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Go for a swim.<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

Can’t decide between a relaxing trip to the ocean or an exciting night of fashion? Why choose?<\/p>\n

It's a Silver Cuirass of the Savior's Hide. Last runthrough's fashion was an Elven Cuirass of the Savior's Hide, but trends change quickly here in the Chimera.<\/div>
It's a Silver Cuirass of the Savior's Hide. Last runthrough's fashion was an Elven Cuirass of the Savior's Hide, but trends change quickly here in the Chimera.<\/div><\/p>\n

The developers of the Chimera have thoughtfully left some of the Savior’s Hide underwater. Just hop under the pier near the starting area and help yourself to a charming handmade possibly-plot-critical-who-knows-at-this-point little number.<\/p>\n

<\/div>
<\/div><\/p>\n

Your friends will be transfixed by its mystique. Why doesn’t it look like hide? Why doesn’t it look like silver? What does the enchantment do, exactly? It’ll be our little secret.<\/a><\/p>\n

Explore delightful local architecture.<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

There’s a hundred different happening spots in the Chimera, and your vacation won’t be complete until you’ve checked out as many as possible. Or until you’re murdered! Either way, waste no time in visiting the following places.<\/p>\n

First on everyone’s itinerary should be the Chapel of the Innocent Quarry. With a name like that you might think it’d be tediously bereft of hostiles. Never fear, though–this place is hopping 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is the Chimera, where the party never, ever <\/em>stops. We must unfortunately acknowledge there is some element of danger, as due to the capacity crowds of fire daedra visitors are at serious risk of getting stuck in the wall geometry.<\/p>\n

Lock-opening aficionados are in for a real treat--this trip really makes up for the disappointment of the Florida Keys.<\/div>
Lock-opening aficionados are in for a real treat--this trip really makes up for the disappointment of the Florida Keys.<\/div><\/p>\n

You might also visit A Tower With an Elevator with a Key at the Top. For people who know exactly what they want, and it’s a tower with an elevator with a key at the top. The tower’s pretty high up and there’s no guard rail on the shaft, so please watch your step and make sure you don’t get stuck in the elevator geometry.<\/p>\n

It's keys all the way down here. They ought to call this place the Key-mera! That's one of mine, tourism board says we can't use it.<\/div>
It's keys all the way down here. They ought to call this place the Key-mera! That's one of mine, tourism board says we can't use it.<\/div><\/p>\n

If you haven’t had enough of keys, towers, elevators, and life in general, head on up to the fortress. There’s four towers in this building–that’s four times the elevators, four times the densely-packed enemies, and four times the breathtaking view!<\/p>\n

Look at that vista! You could see the entire island from here, conceivably!<\/div>
Look at that vista! You could see the entire island from here, conceivably!<\/div><\/p>\n

Climbing all four towers, physically pressing your way past the throngs of hostiles, and pressing the buttons will yield your very own souvenir key. The novel mechanisms and quiet grace of this tower will leave you wanting to stay here forever. Please fight that urge and do not get yourself stuck irretrievably in the tower geometry.<\/p>\n

The thick mobs of immovable enemies will try their best to shove you lodged in there--the <em>pranksters<\/em>.<\/div>
The thick mobs of immovable enemies will try their best to shove you lodged in there--the pranksters<\/em>.<\/div><\/p>\n

This is just the beginning. We don’t even have time to go into the waterfall full of enemies that get through your damage resistance for some reason, the maze that you can only enter once that turns out to have an important quest item hidden in it, and the house with the quaint too-small-to-go-up stairwell. Wherever you go, fun and level geometry are waiting with open arms.<\/p>\n

Swear.<\/em><\/h3>\n

Need to let off a little steam? Why not swear? Why not swear a lot<\/em>? Your neighbors haven’t complained since August.<\/p>\n

Reinvent yourself.<\/em><\/h3>\n

The Chimera offers an unmissable opportunity to really get in touch with the Real You. Every time you set foot on the island you’ll get to redo your fifth Level Up. It’s all the fun of navigating a Battlespire<\/em>‘s interface, plus the novelty of trying new things–do you want to add a shade of Unarmed this time? A dash of Luck? A drop of Restoration? Nothing’s off-limits–and it’ll all be reset soon enough.<\/p>\n

My secret recipe? Dump every single point into Speed. You’ve got some legwork ahead of you.<\/p>\n

NEXT WEEK: STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For your next weekend getaway, consider the Chimera of Desolation. From its charming villas, kept exclusive by a thoughtful plague infestation, to the cozy view distance maintained by a romantic fog, the Chimera of Desolation can be described with one word: exclusive. Get ready for star treatment, because no matter where you roam helpful attendants […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[242],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lets-play"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34281\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}