{"id":2935,"date":"2009-04-11T08:00:45","date_gmt":"2009-04-11T12:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=2935"},"modified":"2009-04-10T20:24:54","modified_gmt":"2009-04-11T00:24:54","slug":"unskippable-x-blades","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=2935","title":{"rendered":"Unskippable: X-Blades"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><script src=\"http:\/\/www.escapistmagazine.com\/videos\/embed\/656\"><\/script><\/center><\/p>\n<p>I had trouble enjoying this Unskippable because of the way the cutscene made me hate the game with an unquenchable passion.  This antipathy is particularly deep in regards to the main character, who has the personality of Paris Hilton, but less intellectual.  From her preposterous outfit that makes Lara Croft look like a nun to her heroic display of vapidity, stupidity, and skankidity, there was just nothing notable or likable about this character.  Her personality is abrasive, her voice is grating, and her dialog is narcissistic expositional pablum.  <\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you could just ignore the cutscenes, plot, characters, and dialog. You could sweep the narrative aside and enjoy some mindless button-mashing violence, but apparently <a href=\"http:\/\/www.escapistmagazine.com\/videos\/view\/zero-punctuation\/645-Halo-Wars\">the gameplay is also insufferable<\/a>. A male player might be able to overlook both the narrative <em>and<\/em> the gameplay to enjoy some cheap T&#038;A, but they ruined that by making her look underage and giving her a voice actress that makes Yoko Ono sound like Judy Garland. <\/p>\n<p>So&#8230; I guess I won&#8217;t be adding this to my &#8220;buy&#8221; list.  <\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;But, you&#8217;d think she&#8217;d know to wear practical footwear.  Or for that matter, <b>pants<\/b>.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had trouble enjoying this Unskippable because of the way the cutscene made me hate the game with an unquenchable passion. This antipathy is particularly deep in regards to the main character, who has the personality of Paris Hilton, but less intellectual. From her preposterous outfit that makes Lara Croft look like a nun to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[135],"class_list":["post-2935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dream-cast","tag-unskippable"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2935"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2935\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}