{"id":28294,"date":"2015-08-24T04:21:23","date_gmt":"2015-08-24T09:21:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=28294"},"modified":"2017-05-01T11:58:26","modified_gmt":"2017-05-01T15:58:26","slug":"ding-44","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=28294","title":{"rendered":"Ding 44!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So this is 44 years old. It feels a lot like <a href=\"?p=24018\">43<\/a>, only moreso. <\/p>\n<p>Technically, I&#8217;m doing great. I&#8217;m a middle-class person in the western world, which means <a href=\"?p=568\">I&#8217;m living better than 99.9999% of all the humans that have ever lived<\/a>. I&#8217;ve got my health, my family, and I&#8217;m living in the internet age. But whenever a birthday rolls around I always feel this pressure bearing down on me. <em>The clock is ticking! Isn&#8217;t there a bunch of stuff you need to accomplish before you snuff it?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>As a mater of fact, I have two important things I need to do today:<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><strong>1) I need to make an appointment with the dentist. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>On Friday I had this happen:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">&quot;Yuck! Something hard in this cracker.&quot;&#10;*spits out*&#10;&quot;I wonder what that was?&quot;&#10;*feels mouth*&#10;&quot;Oh. It was part of my tooth. I needed that.&quot;&#10;:(<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Shamus Young (@shamusyoung) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/shamusyoung\/status\/634899275466604544\">August 22, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Admittedly, this isn&#8217;t as bad as <a href=\"?p=1256\">the last time I broke a tooth on a Friday<\/a>, but I really feel that breaking teeth on Fridays is a thing I shouldn&#8217;t be able to arrange into a list. <\/p>\n<p><strong>2) I need to make an eye doctor appointment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My eyes are not good. When I got outside at night, scenes that should look like this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><div class='imagefull'><img src='https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/images\/glasses_example1.jpg' width=100% alt='Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?' title='Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?'\/><\/div><div class='mouseover-alt'>Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?<\/div><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;end up having all the lights covered in these flaring line patterns:<\/p>\n<p><div class='imagefull'><img src='https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/images\/glasses_example2.jpg' width=100% alt='Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?' title='Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?'\/><\/div><div class='mouseover-alt'>Maybe I need a new graphics card instead of glasses?<\/div><\/p>\n<p>My life is like being inside a J.J. Abrams movie 24\/7, except the plot somehow makes even <em>less<\/em> sense. Also, last time I visited the eye doctor he said he was worried. He saw some risk factors \/ signs of glaucoma, and wanted to see me again in six months. I said, &#8220;Yes sir! I will surely be right back in half a year good sir!&#8221; I think that conversation was sometime in early 2011. In my defense, the last couple of years have been <a href=\"?p=18952\">really<\/a> <a href=\"?p=24592\">busy<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The only reason I&#8217;m remembering now is because my computer screen is looking a little blurry these days. Usually I only need my glasses when I leave the house, which is&#8230; I dunno. I know it happens once in a while, but it&#8217;s like trying to remember your dreams. Outside is where hot weather and sunlight come from, and I try not to expose myself to those sorts of dangers. But if my computer screen is going to be blurry then This Will Not Stand. <\/p>\n<p>Anyway. Basically my body is falling apart and everything sucks, except not really. <\/p>\n<p>Also Happy Birthday to Stephen Fry, Hideo Kojima, and all other August 24 birthday-havers, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.famousbirthdays.com\/august24.html\">famous<\/a> and otherwise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So this is 44 years old. It feels a lot like 43, only moreso. Technically, I&#8217;m doing great. I&#8217;m a middle-class person in the western world, which means I&#8217;m living better than 99.9999% of all the humans that have ever lived. I&#8217;ve got my health, my family, and I&#8217;m living in the internet age. But [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[610],"tags":[512],"class_list":["post-28294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-landmarks","tag-older"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28294"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28294\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}