{"id":1734,"date":"2008-06-27T08:00:29","date_gmt":"2008-06-27T13:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=1734"},"modified":"2008-06-27T09:10:19","modified_gmt":"2008-06-27T14:10:19","slug":"zero-punctuation-mgs4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=1734","title":{"rendered":"Zero Punctuation: MGS4"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t usually link to Zero Punctuation<\/a> because Yahtzee is most often talking about games I’ve never seen or heard of, and so there wouldn’t be much for me to add. But as someone who was exposed to Metal Gear recently I felt an immediate and profound sense of relief after I saw his review. Apparently there’s at least one other person on this planet who doesn’t think Hideo Kojima is some sort of god.<\/p>\n

Be warned that his review is filthy, profane, abrasive, and agonizingly true. This is to say, it’s not at all safe for work and might even be bad for you, although not as bad as playing MGS yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/code><\/center><\/p>\n

I played a few hours of Metal Gear 3 a couple of weekends ago and thought I must have gone insane. This<\/em> morass of sophomoric nonsense is the famed Metal Gear everyone keeps raving about? I was too inept at the controls – which are about as straightforward and easy to learn as piloting the space shuttle – to be any sort of judge of the gameplay itself. So I’ll have to take everyone’s word for it when they say it’s more fun than ice cream and unicorn rides.<\/p>\n

But no amount of peer pressure can convince me the story is anything other than a toxic mix of the inane and the preposterous. The ludicrous plot and fanfiction dialog wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t so dang much of it, and if it didn’t take itself so horrifyingly seriously. <\/p>\n

Two minutes after Snake touched down in the dense jungle inside the Soviet Union<\/em> to begin his mission, base called him to ask if he’d gotten his lunchbox stuck in a tree. Snake admitted that yes, that did just happen. Then his commander reminded him that he was a secret agent and could climb trees. That seemed to help, and Snake was good for a couple of minutes until base called back to drone on for about four minutes on what everyone’s code names were, and why they were given those code names and what was the symbolism behind them, and who the people behind the code names actually were, and what those people will be contributing to the mission. Note that the preceding sentence is not kidding as much as you might think it is. <\/p>\n

The appeal of the Metal Gear story will forever elude me, but at least now I know I’m not the only one. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t usually link to Zero Punctuation because Yahtzee is most often talking about games I’ve never seen or heard of, and so there wouldn’t be much for me to add. But as someone who was exposed to Metal Gear recently I felt an immediate and profound sense of relief after I saw his review. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[99,100],"class_list":["post-1734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dream-cast","tag-metal-gear","tag-zero-punctuation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1734"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1734\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}