{"id":12425,"date":"2011-07-22T12:05:34","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T17:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=12425"},"modified":"2011-07-22T12:05:34","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T17:05:34","slug":"spoiler-warning-half-life-2-where-were-going-we-dont-need-wheels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=12425","title":{"rendered":"Spoiler Warning: Half-Life 2: Where We&#8217;re Going, We Don&#8217;t Need&#8230; Wheels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We quote a bit of Die Hard in this episode.  Trivia: Mumbles saw Die Hard for the first time ever last week. Welcome to the party, pal.<\/p>\n<p><table class='nomargin' cellspacing='0' width='100%' cellpadding='0' align='center' border='0'><tr><td><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_zm6eOdfoVE\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen class=\"embed\"><\/iframe><br\/><small><a href='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_zm6eOdfoVE'>Link (YouTube)<\/a><\/small><\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ve been raving about the game, but some people are still foggy on the details of why we like Half-Life 2 so much.  So here is Rutkarn&#8217;s answer, taken directly from the episode.  (As nearly as I could, given the combat sounds and the other two idiots talking over him.)  THIS is Half-Life 2, as made by ANY OTHER FPS STUDIO:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Here is a run down of what would have happened if any other studio had made this:<\/p>\n<p>Cutscene intro: NEW YORK &#8211; You see citizens being mowed down in the streets.   A narration plays over, &#8220;It is the future.  Aliens have invaded the planet and begun oppressing the masses. Humankind can make no defense against it. But now, GORDON FREEMAN is being released by the G-man&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Gordon wakes up: What? What&#8217;s going on?  You&#8217;d better start giving me some answers, G-man!<\/p>\n<p>GMAN: Well, Freeman&#8230; you are my pawn in this matter.  I&#8217;m sending you to this place for my own reasons.  Go kill some dudes. <\/p>\n<p>You arrive there, and your sexilicious bikini babe companion will immediately start accompanying you, spouting wise-cracking one-lines and getting hung up on the environment while you go through the vert narrow New York streets, firing uninspiring guns and hiding behind cover. <\/p>\n<p>And your enemies would be called, like&#8230; the Necro-forms. And they would all be these horrible half-human creatures that would howl and shriek. <\/p>\n<p>And then the final boss would be the G-man.  <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Valve, <strong>thank you for not making that game.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Next week we&#8217;ll be back in the Mojave Desert.  See you there. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We quote a bit of Die Hard in this episode. Trivia: Mumbles saw Die Hard for the first time ever last week. Welcome to the party, pal. Link (YouTube) We&#8217;ve been raving about the game, but some people are still foggy on the details of why we like Half-Life 2 so much. So here is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[188],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spoilerwarning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12425"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12425\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}