“I’m dying.”<\/p>\n
“You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything fun to do.”<\/p>\n
The doctor called me to let me know that I am not dying. I was actually mildly worried. My father died at 59 of cancer, and by the time they found it the thing was large, advanced, and inoperable. It had obviously been growing in him for a very long time. So as I’ve entered my 30’s I’ve been a little uneasy that the same would happen to me. When my guts stopped working right last week the thought jumped into my head, this is it! You’re done for!<\/em><\/p>\n I have to go to a specialist, but only so we can figure out which mundane and moderately benign malady I’m suffering from. I can’t eat more than once a day right now, which is making me a little grouchy. This is offset by the knowledge that the Grim Reaper isn’t entering my address into Google maps so he knows the way when the time comes.<\/p>\n Whatever I have, it’s doing wonders for my weight. It’s only been a week and I’ve already lost enough weight that you can see the difference in my face. Now all I need is to develop some sort of illness that compels me to exercise for twenty minutes a day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “I’m dying.” “You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything fun to do.” The doctor called me to let me know that I am not dying. I was actually mildly worried. My father died at 59 of cancer, and by the time they found it the thing was large, advanced, and inoperable. It had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1160"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1160"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1160"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}