{"id":10679,"date":"2011-02-14T05:43:06","date_gmt":"2011-02-14T10:43:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=10679"},"modified":"2011-02-14T11:54:56","modified_gmt":"2011-02-14T16:54:56","slug":"csi-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=10679","title":{"rendered":"CSI: Internet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m aware of the whole CSI TV show craze, and the <a href=\"http:\/\/knowyourmeme.com\/memes\/csi-4-pane-comics\">meme<\/a> that sprouted up around it.  I actually watched an episode of the show back when I was writing about the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.escapistmagazine.com\/articles\/view\/columns\/shamusplays\/8562-Shamus-Plays-WoW-13-Crime-and-Punishment\">CSI-joke quest in World of Warcraft<\/a>, just so I was familiar with the material being satirized.<\/p>\n<p>However, even the WoW quest wasn&#8217;t as stupid as this:<\/p>\n<p><table class='nomargin' cellspacing='0' width='100%' cellpadding='0' align='center' border='0'><tr><td><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/3uoM5kfZIQ0\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen class=\"embed\"><\/iframe><br\/><small><a href='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=3uoM5kfZIQ0'>Link (YouTube)<\/a><\/small><\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/p>\n<p>I realize that certain compromises are made for dramatic effect, but the very idea of examining the reflection in a person&#8217;s eye, in a photograph taken from an overhead angle, <em>on a security camera<\/em>&#8230; sigh.  It would have been less immersion-breaking if they just resorted to elven magic to find the killer. <\/p>\n<p><table class='nomargin' cellspacing='0' width='100%' cellpadding='0' align='center' border='0'><tr><td><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ygB0ZviqXac\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen class=\"embed\"><\/iframe><br\/><small><a href='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ygB0ZviqXac'>Link (YouTube)<\/a><\/small><\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/p>\n<p>So, a couple of detectives are surfing the internet on their mouse-less large-screen TV, when one of them realizes the website they&#8217;re looking at is being updated live. They decide they need the IP for this website.  Or for someone who is updating the website. I&#8217;m not sure they know themselves. And then one of them says, &#8220;I&#8217;ll make a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf if i can track an IP Address out of this.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Here is a cool project:<\/p>\n<p>Try to list <em>everything<\/em> wrong with that conversation.  It&#8217;s hard. Josh and I worked on it for a minute or two, and we were still coming up with new, ridiculous things to point out. There is so much wrongness packed in here it&#8217;s actually sort of daunting. <\/p>\n<p>Of course, if she was really doing what she said she was doing, it would look like this:<\/p>\n<p><table class='nomargin' cellspacing='0' width='100%' cellpadding='0' align='center' border='0'><tr><td><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/K9GD4ehJ25o\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen class=\"embed\"><\/iframe><br\/><small><a href='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=K9GD4ehJ25o'>Link (YouTube)<\/a><\/small><\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/p>\n<p>Hello? CSI? Yes, I&#8217;d like to report a crime.  You see, apparently someone is stealing money from CBS.  I don&#8217;t know what they look like, but I know they&#8217;re posing as a writer on a procedural crime drama. They&#8217;re writing hilarious gibberish and then making off with a paycheck at the end of the week. Catch them? No! I don&#8217;t want you to catch them.  I want you to put me in contact with them.  I&#8217;ve been writing stuff that&#8217;s coherent for a few years now, and I have to say it&#8217;s a lot more work and <em>way<\/em> less profitable. If you could hook me up with a job writing asspull fiction, I would really appreciate it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m aware of the whole CSI TV show craze, and the meme that sprouted up around it. I actually watched an episode of the show back when I was writing about the CSI-joke quest in World of Warcraft, just so I was familiar with the material being satirized. However, even the WoW quest wasn&#8217;t as [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dream-cast"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10679"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10679\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}