Steven informs us:
That can’t be good for you.
Here is a random list of tasks, sorted according to how rewarding and productive they are:
- Persuade Steve Jobs to get himself an HP Pavillion.
- Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop, then get Discover magazine to publish your findings.
- Get Tom Cruise to admit that Scientology is just a buncha mumbo-jumbo.
- Buy a Tivo for Ted Kaczynski. Teach him to use it.
- Beat Michael Jackson at Dance Dance Revolution.
- Convince Pat Robertson to subscribe to Hustler.
- Team up with Uwe Boll to make a successful and thought-provoking movie adaptation of Pac-Man. Win an Academy Award.
- Explain the plot of Final Fantasy XIII to Brittany Spears. Make sure she understands it.
- Coax Arnold Schwarzenegger into pronouncing California in such a way that there is no long ‘e’ sound.
- Take part in a political discussion on FARK, Slashdot, or Metafilter, and get someone – anyone – to change their opinion based on your arguments.
A Star is Born
Remember the superhero MMO from 2009? Neither does anyone else. It was dumb. So dumb I was compelled to write this.
The Best of 2011
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2011.
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
Silver Sable Sucks
This version of Silver Sable is poorly designed, horribly written, and placed in the game for all the wrong reasons.
Bethesda NEVER Understood Fallout
Let's count up the ways in which Bethesda has misunderstood and misused the Fallout property.