I just got a “new” video card, and I thought I’d check out the Half-Life 2 HDR demo. I couldn’t see it in action before, since my old GeForce 5200 couldn’t make with the fancy pixels. So, with grim determination I began installing HL2, which means installing Steam. I had totally forgotten about this part of the installation process:
Oh yeah. Thank goodness Valve encrypted my software. Otherwise I might, you know, use it. I have a fancy new system, and it still sat there for fifteen minutes chewing on data so that I could run my own software. I’m still amazed at the audacity of these punks to LOCK a game from the ostensible owner.
ME: I’d like to run my game now.
VALVE: Oh but it’s locked.
VALVE: Don’t be stupid. If it wasn’t locked you would be able to run it.
ME: Yeah, that’s the point.
VAVLE: Yes, well, if YOU can run it, then ANYONE can run it. Maybe even your pirate friends, who run those warez sites?
ME: I never… what? Look, how am I supposed to play my game?
VALVE: Just ask. Just sign on to Steam, and let us know you’d like to play.
VALVE: It’s quite fast and painless.
ME: That’s not the point.
VALVE: Only takes a second!
ME: Look, do I own this software or not?
VALVE: If you owned the software, would you be locked out of it?
ME: Er. No?
VALVE: There you go. Enjoy the game. But not too much. And only when we say you can. And only by yourself.
Trashing the Heap
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Secret of Good Secrets
Sometimes in-game secrets are fun and sometimes they're lame. Here's why.
A screencap comic that poked fun at videogames and the industry. The comic has ended, but there's plenty of archives for you to binge on.
This is a massive step down in story, gameplay, and art design when compared to the 2014 soft reboot. Yet critics rated this one much higher. What's going on here?
The Biggest Game Ever
Just how big IS No Man's Sky? What if you made a map of all of its landmass? How big would it be?