I just got a “new” video card, and I thought I’d check out the Half-Life 2 HDR demo. I couldn’t see it in action before, since my old GeForce 5200 couldn’t make with the fancy pixels. So, with grim determination I began installing HL2, which means installing Steam. I had totally forgotten about this part of the installation process:
Oh yeah. Thank goodness Valve encrypted my software. Otherwise I might, you know, use it. I have a fancy new system, and it still sat there for fifteen minutes chewing on data so that I could run my own software. I’m still amazed at the audacity of these punks to LOCK a game from the ostensible owner.
ME: I’d like to run my game now.
VALVE: Oh but it’s locked.
VALVE: Don’t be stupid. If it wasn’t locked you would be able to run it.
ME: Yeah, that’s the point.
VAVLE: Yes, well, if YOU can run it, then ANYONE can run it. Maybe even your pirate friends, who run those warez sites?
ME: I never… what? Look, how am I supposed to play my game?
VALVE: Just ask. Just sign on to Steam, and let us know you’d like to play.
VALVE: It’s quite fast and painless.
ME: That’s not the point.
VALVE: Only takes a second!
ME: Look, do I own this software or not?
VALVE: If you owned the software, would you be locked out of it?
ME: Er. No?
VALVE: There you go. Enjoy the game. But not too much. And only when we say you can. And only by yourself.
A stream-of-gameplay review of Dead Island. This game is a cavalcade of bugs and bad design choices.
What did web browsers look like 20 years ago, and what kind of crazy features did they have?
Good to be the King?
Which would you rather be: A king in the middle ages, or a lower-income laborer in the 21st century?
Black Desert Online
This Korean title would be the greatest MMO ever made if not for the horrendous monetization system. And the embarrassing translation. And the terrible progression. And the developer's general apathy towards its western audience.
Dead or Alive 5 Last Round
I'm not surprised a fighting game has an absurd story. I just can't figure out why they bothered with the story at all.