I know I’ve been kind to dear old Mass Effect this second time around, but this thing with the Mako magically appearing in the garage is bonkers. I can’t believe nobody took the time to justify or lampshade this. In fact, it kind of reminds me of Ye Olde Plot Door Rant, where there’s a pointlessly obstructionist NPC who controls access to a painfully contrived locked door. You have to do this long, roundabout quest to get the door open, and when it’s over you discover that the door lock only ever applied to you.
This could have been done better.
Also, when the VI pops up and says, “It looks like you’re trying to restore the facility”, it really makes me think of Clippy The Office Assistant. I never noticed it before, but now I can’t escape the notion that this must have been intentional.
Good to be the King?
Which would you rather be: A king in the middle ages, or a lower-income laborer in the 21st century?
The Dumbest Cutscene
This is it. This is the dumbest cutscene ever created for a AAA game. It's so bad it's simultaneously hilarious and painful. This is "The Room" of video game cutscenes.
The Best of 2015
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2015.
Steam Summer Blues
This mess of dross, confusion, and terrible UI design is the storefront the big publishers couldn't beat? Amazing.
The Gameplay is the Story
Some advice to game developers on how to stop ruining good stories with bad cutscenes.