It’s Christmas in May. I suppose it’s not going to stun anyone to learn that my kids enjoy playing the Wii.
I inherited the family Gamecube, for what it’s worth. I’m not sure it will get much use, but it’s there in case I get the desire to play a game designed for people with more patience and younger thumbs. The device has been added to the snarl, thus bringing the humming cluster of electronics one step closer to self-awareness, which will no doubt be followed by a murderous regard for fleshbags like me.
The Wii has usurped its predecessor and secured the coveted spot beneath the television in the living room. It’s a very attractive piece of technology, wonderfully sleek and capable of standing upright. This is not to say I wouldn’t like it better if the thing was uglier, but easier to stack with other objects. I didn’t like when televisions starting becoming aerodynamic, making them an unsuitable place to put things like VCRs, and (eventually) DVD players. What we’re ending up with is this sort of puzzle where you have a half dozen devices, none of which can be placed on top of each other or behind any other device, all of which must be plugged into each other and the wall. It’s hard for me not to look at this mess and think that somewhere in Japan is a very malicious engineer who is laughing at me, right now.
While I suppose it’s still true that money cannot buy happiness, it does seem to be possible for money to buy electronics which dispense happiness. We have two Wiimotes and three kids, so I’m not sure how long the happiness supplied will be able to maintain equilibrium with the injustice and misery of having to share and take turns. I am certain I will know when the scales tip, though. The sound will be unmistakable.
I haven’t even tried it and I’m enjoying the Wii already.
The Best of 2019
I called 2019 "The Year of corporate Dystopia". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
I Was Wrong About Borderlands 3
I really thought one thing, but then something else. There's a bunch more to it, but you'll have to read the article.
The Middle Ages
Would you have survived in the middle ages?
Dead or Alive 5 Last Round
I'm not surprised a fighting game has an absurd story. I just can't figure out why they bothered with the story at all.
Let's ruin everyone's fun by listing all the ways in which zombies can't work, couldn't happen, and don't make sense.