Aunty Paladin’s RPGs and Kid-Helping Extravaganza

By Shamus Posted Monday Dec 12, 2011

Filed under: Links 78 comments

Rutskarn is taking part in some sort of madcap scheme to raise money for charity. They’re going to play tabletop RPG’s, and keep playing tabletop RPG’s, for a long time. I don’t know how long. It has been suggested that they are aiming for “too long” as their target timeframe. All of it will be livestreamed. In fact, you could be watching it right now. Tune in and find out if Rutskarn is really older than ten, as he habitually claims.

According to the cut & paste I just did from Rutskarn’s blog, they will be playing:

  • Maid, a game in which you play a pastiche of an anime or manga maid who seriously just takes care of a master for the whole session. It's actually a lot of fun.
  • Paranoia, a game of backstabbing, treachery, and < >
  • Buck Rogers vs. The Han, published by TSR as part of its “we're still slightly more relevant than this license” series of RPGs.
  • FATAL, the king of awful roleplaying games, a game that has caused literal physical discomfort in almost everyone I've explained it to. I'd almost recommend you don't Google it. Not at work, anyway.

Visit the official site for details on who benefits and how it all works, and to watch the live feed of the condemned.


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78 thoughts on “Aunty Paladin’s RPGs and Kid-Helping Extravaganza

  1. dovius says:

    “Shamus has pimped us”
    “We are now whores”

  2. Uscias says:

    Dear readers of this blog:

    Why are you still here?


      1. Uscias says:

        Allow me to clarify:
        If you are not watching the stream and donating, you are doing something wrong.

        1. Eric says:

          Yes, why should I read through Shamus’ insightful articles when I can watch a bunch of teenage nerds play tabletop games and eat Cheetos?

          1. krellen says:

            There were no cheetos, and I don’t think any of them were teenagers.

    1. CTrees says:

      Multiple windows.

      Like a boss.

      1. Sumanai says:

        No. A boss would be using multiple monitors.

        1. Goatcathead says:

          No. A boss would be watching the RPG live and have multiple monitors for the blog and Spoiler Warning.

  3. Sucal says:

    Roll for Anal Circumference Rutskan, not even your puns can save you… its cloaca time!!! Ignore Sam’s -4 strength and roll for Anal Circumference…

    1. Jakale says:

      Not til Friday, presumably at any rate.

      1. Sucal says:

        Ruin my fun why don’t you…

        Actually they would likely make far more money if they turned it into a 24 hour Fatal Marathon. I mean, think of desert bus like hijinks

        1. SolkaTruesilver says:

          on the other hand, what charity would accept in good conscience money collected while playing FATAL?

          I sure wouldn’t. I’d burn the bills.

          1. Sagretti says:

            Just think, it could still be worse. They could try and LARP FATAL.

            1. dovius says:

              Thank you for a mental image that I will never, ever be able to forget.

            2. Sucal says:

              You sir are evil… why do I have a feeling your one of the games designers

              1. Mathias says:

                My mind. It is scarred for eternity. How could you do this to someone in his tender 17th year? HOW COULD YOU?!

                1. Sucal says:

                  With a smile on my face and a cheery grin. Thats how

            3. evileeyore says:

              Not sure it could be much worse than the LARP version of H.O.L.

              1. for a review of FATAL. I’ve not heard of H.O.L. but I’ll avoid it too.

                1. SolkaTruesilver says:

                  I’d like to see a LARP of Racial Holy War…

                  1. Sucal says:

                    Visit (Insert racist area here) to see such a Larp

                2. Kylroy says:

                  H.O.L. is a bit more self-aware than F.A.T.A.L. (What is it with horrible RPGs and acronym names?) The books are funny to read in a way that makes you feel you’re laughing with the designers, rather than at them. To adapt a term, I’d call it a closet RPG.

  4. psivamp says:

    Well, this is more interesting than studying for finals, rewriting my resume and applying for internships.

  5. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Finally I can see someone actually playing fatal.This should be good.

    1. SolkaTruesilver says:

      Have the tissues handy!

      …. damn, Shamus is gonna ban me for that distasteful comment…

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Hey,I resemble that comment!Im not some kind of pervert!

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Oh crap!I meant to write “I resent that comment”.Curse my inability to edit comments for the sake of cheap jokes.

        2. SolkaTruesilver says:

          The defense rest. Proof has been submitted to the jury.

      2. Adam F says:

        I know watching someone play that would make _me_ break out in tears. Though paper towels might be better…they could do double duty and clean up the vomit.

    2. Raygereio says:

      If you want to have a preview. Here’s a podcast in which they make fatal characters.

  6. Scourge says:

    I am amazed they didn’t offer Rolemaster either. I mean, hey Walking down an empty hallway can kill you (Or tying your shoes if your GM is very sadistic)!

    1. Mari says:

      That’s where Paranoia comes in. Believe me, there are plenty of ways to die nonsensically in that one. Hope they have a LOT of clones.

      1. Scourge says:

        But from tying your shoe?

        1. Joe says:

          If you’re still wearing shoes that need tying in Paranoia, you’re going to need more clones.

          If you got shoes that don’t, your going to need more clones.

          Everything is fine. Do not be alarmed. The computer is watching.

        2. MrPyro says:

          Depends on the colour of your shoe. If it’s a red shoe, you’re fine. White shoe, and you’re going to bite it.

      2. Ingvar M says:

        The quickest death I’ve seen, GMing Paranoia, was one character whose first clone died five minutes after play started. It’s not the most clever thing ever to call your briefing officer “Comrade”, the rest of the party is liable to laserize you to a tender crisp. Funny.

  7. Mari says:

    Argh! I’m too busy to watch them play Maid or one of my favorite RPG’s, Paranoia! My sadness knows no bounds.

    1. CTrees says:

      Work computer will not play the stream. So sad…

  8. Peter H. Coffin says:

    Tuned in just long enough to learn that Ruts apparently has a magic pun dance. That’s enough for now. I will save my donations for the point at which they think there’s actually an end in sight.

  9. Hitch says:

    I wish I could remember what game it was that I got talked into trying. It was a space themed RPG that the character creation process involved making a few decisions then rolling on various tables to get the results of those choices, which led to another round of the same thing, repeated over and over again. It went on for nearly two hours before I had a particularly bad roll and died — during character creation. I refused to try again. Told the GM it was loads of fun, but I wanted to give someone else a chance. I never looked back and now I can’t remember the name of the game.

    But at least it wasn’t FATAL.*

    *This phrase can be invoked to improve any RPG experience. (Except playing FATAL.)

    1. cadrys says:

      That was the original Traveler.

      1. Hitch says:

        You’re probably right.

    2. Simulated Knave says:

      It might have also been one of the Mechwarrior editions.

      Also, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to stop eventually during character creation…

      1. MrPyro says:

        I don’t remember that from Mechwarrior, although I have only played one edition so I could be wrong there.

        It does sound very much like Traveller; it wouldn’t surprise me if it contained character creation events that caused you to stay in character creation for longer (forcibly signed up for another 2 year military tour).

    3. BeardedDork says:

      That was Traveller I think, or at least that was also my experience with the game. We tried to create characters who could create a coherent party for almost eight hours in a coffee shop, before we just decided it would be easier to lynch the GM and ban the game from any further discussion of what we’ll play next. I think we played SR2 instead.

  10. Tse says:

    Hm, where is Kamen Hristov from? The name looks Bulgarian. May also be from another slavic country.

    1. 4th Dimension says:

      Slavic most probably. His name basically means Rock of Christ.

      1. Tse says:

        Actually, a better translation would be Rocky Christ. :) But seriously, names don’t work like that. Each name has its own meaning. I think he’s bulgarian because both of his names are quite common here.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          And you are right,he just confirmed to be bulgarian.

        2. CTrees says:

          We’ve just found the next Stallone Movie!

  11. Dante says:

    Why does FATAL seem like one big Aristocrats joke?

    1. Hitch says:

      That’s pretty much the only level on which it works. “Lets see how stupid and distasteful we can make this so everyone knows it has to be a joke.” Only, very few are amused before they slam it shut in disgust. And an alarming few see it as, in any way, a possible playable game.

      1. Sumanai says:

        I think it’s the reverse. People who can read it consider it from a point of an Aristocrats joke, but the creators seemed to have been very serious. At least that was the impression I’ve gotten from the creators’ responses to criticism.

  12. Daemian Lucifer says:

    “Tune in and find out if Rutskarn is really older than ten, as he habitually claims.”

    Seeing how he got spanked,Id say he is not older than ten.

  13. rofltehcat says:

    Omg Shamus, now I need to watch it all night :(

    Also, I got a new Boobs-Ad for you. Wonder why “intelligent” advertising services hand me those ;D

    Edit: And another one:

    I think the Edit-one isn’t as bad as the others but I don’t really know where your limit for the ads lies. You posted something about Evony ads etc. a while back I think :D

  14. Anachronist says:

    Hard to believe anyone would still be playing FATAL, or would even be interested in it. It’s the #1 contender of “The Unholy Trinity” described in an article about the worst RPGs ever.

    It isn’t hard to believe in a long-running RPG, though. I know of one fellow on the Wizards forums has had the same D&D game running for years, using his own campaign setting.

    1. dovius says:

      The complete and utter trainwreck it is, is the reason that they’re gonna play it in the first place.

      Or, in Rutskarn’s words: “”This will be the only chance I ever get to legitimately run FATAL.

      1. HiEv says:

        Actually, Nicholas will be the one DMing that one. He apparently has the needed math skills to run FATAL.

  15. Lord of Rapture says:

    I just saw Rutskarn in Dave cosplay on that website.

    Is he a Homestuck fan?

    1. Harry says:

      I believe the fact that he cosplayed as Dave Strider answers your question.

  16. Jokerman says:

    He really is only ten

  17. Dasick says:

    FATAL, the king of awful roleplaying games, a game that has caused literal physical discomfort in almost everyone I've explained it to. I'd almost recommend you don't Google it. Not at work, anyway.

    Usually Shamus is able to explain things very plainly in the most non offensive terms imaginable. Granted, this has been copied from Rustkarn’s blog, but still… either Shamus is too lazy to elaborate or he has no way of putting it better. And from the way other commenters speak of it…

    I’m scared; Don’t do this Rustkarn!

    1. Cybron says:

      Having foolishly braved the depths of FATAL on a dare, I can second this opinion. Just stay as far away as you can.

      I’m not sure everything that is terrible about the game can be explained in a work-safe/sanity-safe fashion.

    2. Mari says:

      You’ve heard of H.P. Lovecraft? You’re familiar with the premise that there are some pieces of knowledge so utterly alien to life as we know it that simply being aware that the knowledge exists can trigger a descent into madness? FATAL is an elder god of the Cthulhu mythos. Just knowing about FATAL causes a sanity drain. Reading the source material is enough to leave you a drooling psychopath if you don’t have a really high SAN score and ready access to mental health professionals. Playing FATAL is like chanting “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” over and over while aboard a ship circling around and around in the South Pacific.

  18. Mumbles says:

    Join me in making people write “buttskarn” on the whiteboard.

    1. krellen says:

      Rutskarn said that if we provided a pig, he would suck it.

  19. MelTorefas says:

    I know I am particularly sensitive to this stuff, but FATAL was something I never wanted to know about. How I wish I had not googled it. Right now even thinking that anything on this site is in any way related to it is too much, so I’ll be avoiding this place for awhile. No offense intended to anyone involved (seriously, none). See you all much much further down the road and away from… this.

    1. Yeah, it bothers me to think they are actually playing the game. Suddenly I want distance between me and anyone involved with it. Kind of destroys my feelings about the site.

      Sorry. Urghh. Reading your post hit what I was hiding from myself, once I realized they were intending not only to play the game, but to broadcast the game they were playing.

      1. Soylent Dave says:

        You don’t think you each might be investing FATAL with a bit too much power, there?

        It’s not like it infects perfectly normal people with the mindset of the nutball who wrote it – that it has (detailed) rules for plenty of objectionable things doesn’t mean that Ruts & co are planning on using them.

        I would think that trying to play a normal game will highlight FATAL’s ludicrous character generation and overly complicated ruleset without needing to delve into any of the writer’s sociopathic, misogynistic fantasies.

        1. Raygereio says:

          Yeah, you don’t really need to demand fellatio from the princess you just rescued to appreciate the absurdity that is FATAL (note: that came from the example of what a RPG is from the FATAL book).

          Character creation and doing a single combat alone should provide enough entertainment.
          The former will already make everyone want to shoot themselves as you need to roll 100d100s followed by complex algebra just to determine a single one of your physical atributes.
          The latter can provide us with such wonderful miracles as a swordstrike to the gut doing damage to your womb, without even touching your skin. What’s that? Your character doesn’t have a womb? Too bad, apparently he just grew one according to the rules.

  20. X2Eliah says:

    Ergh. Out of all times, this stream seems to just plain not work for me, lag spikes galore :[

    Also, people, try not to look into what FATAL is.. becuase it’s genuinely horrible. Not in a joking-kind of way, but really, genuinely demented.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      The reviews for it can be pretty hilarious though.

  21. Zaxares says:

    Morbid curiosity caused me to Google FATAL… And to visit an archived website (which was amusingly designed in the style of 90’s Geocities sites) where I could peruse a copy of the rulebook itself.

    I have to admit, I could see some amusement potential in it in the vein of over-the-top games like Saint’s Row, but the sheer number of rules, coupled with their cumbersome approach, pretty much means I’d never pick up this game for use in regular play. (Not when I could just use, say, d20 D&D rules and throw in a few custom skills and spells and achieve more or less the same effect.)

    Still, like almost any other gaming system, it’s possible to glean a few useful nuggets from FATAL. The descriptions of the spells and the “Natural Substances” chapter offer interesting reading for anyone looking to inject more flavour text into their tabletop roleplaying campaigns.

  22. Zukhramm says:

    I’ve never actually seen a real game played so, I guess I have no experienced something new.

  23. Xapi says:

    FATAL is the “Springtime for Hitler” of RPGs.

    1. krellen says:

      No. No it is not.

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