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The Terrible New Thing
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
If Star Wars Was Made in 2006?
Imagine if the original Star Wars hadn't appeared in the 1970's, but instead was pitched to studios in 2006. How would that turn out?
Was it a Hack?
A big chunk of the internet went down in October of 2016. What happened? Was it a hack?
Batman: Arkham City
A look back at one of my favorite games. The gameplay was stellar, but the underlying story was clumsy and oddly constructed.
Borderlands Series
A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.
At least he remembered *something* to do with his character! Nice job, King Stoner…
LOL! Was that Gandalf or the DM reminding Aragorn that Anduril was the sword’s name?
the DM speaks with the box, so the DM told him ;)
BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
I so want to see how Aragorn’s player is going to handle the political subtleties of setting himself up as king in a place run by the Stewards for a thousand years… Subtleties that the DM will no doubt try to hit him with.
ha! quick, to the point, and very funny.
Oh, I love it–you can just picture the DM quietly banging his head on the tabletop!
I can see the response now: “Yeah, and you are a thorn in our side already!”
2nd post? By pure chance? Wierd. Only that could draw me out of skulking.
Wanna bet the new King stops off at a blacksmith’s before his coronation?
Steve.
What? No regicide slot gag?
Denethor’s death has to be one of the most implausible things in the movie. Take a look at the distance an old man has to run (while on FIRE), only to throw himself out the specially gap in the wall (which presumably only exists to let stewards throw themselves to their death), while his “elite” guards just sit there and watch.
At least he’s finally trying to get into character.
Also, It seems that even after all those mocking “first post” posts by Shamus, people are still obsessed with it.
Hail to the King Baby…..and gimme some sugar!!
To John: I don’t know why that made me think of the McDonald’s coffee commercials…
“You brought the King, let me add the sugar. C’mere!”
Now I’m getting strange looks from the office staff as I sit here at my desk laughing my fool head off.
“Anduril is the name of your sword, dumbass”… quite possibly the funniest line of all of DMoTR yet.
Priceless and perfect.
I hate campins were you have to take notes…
My sword’s name is?
My name is?
The jerk who keeps taking my kills name is?
Slim Shady?
Hilarious! That got a good laugh.
Hope you’re well, and that things went okay recently!
To quote Colin from so many posts: “Pimp!”
And yeah, Aragorn really can’t roleplay; no irritation at Perrin for saving, as was said in earlier comments to earlier comics, the one man with any sort of claim to his throne. Never mind all the stuff about not knowing his own background.
The King’s name badge …
“Well met! My name is”
and underneath is written
“Aragorn, son of Anduril”
And hilarity ensues.
Excellent!
“Hail to the king, baby!”
Now that’s just unfair, now I’m waiting for him to draw his boomstick and show it to the primitive screwheads. It would be so fitting.
I don’t even want to know how a sword gave birth to him…although it explains the IQ…
p.s Natural 20 ftw
Just waiting for the army of darkness screenshot to be snuck in somewhere
Long-time reader, first-time poster.
Shamus, this is great stuff! I share it with anybody I can get to look at it. I guess that’s characteristic of a Browncoat (Firefly/Serenity fan); we get… Enthusiastic about things we enjoy.
Just a gaming aside:
Many episodes ago, somebody asked what the game stats were for Aargorn’s sword, Anduril. Here they are, from “Lords of Middle Earth, Vol. II: The Mannish Races.”
On page 18, under the entry for Aragorn II (yes, he was the second Aragorn), Anduril is described as follows:
+50 (on a % system; on a D20, that’s STILL +10!) Holy broadsword, will flame on command-
Burns Hot: Delivers extra Heat criticals of equal severity (to regular crits scored); and, is “of slaying” against orcs.
OR
Burns Cold: Delivers extra cold criticals of equal severity; and, is “of slaying” against Undead.
Aragorn has some other cool gear the DM probably wrote on his sheet that the player never bothered to read; his stats are pretty amazing, too.
Anyway, just so’s ya know…
Keep ’em comin,’ Shamus!
-Raycheetah =^[.]^=
#9 “What! no regicide slot gag?”
Yup, he should have grabbed a shield from one of the guards and done a Legolas-slides-on-a-shield thing. Is there XP for posthumous style points? It coulda been a product tie-in where they coulda sold a LOT of LOTR snowboards. Maybe “Tony Hawk Presents The Return of The King”. Or Wile E. Coyote. Okay, I’m leaving now.
The King is Back, Long LIve THe King!!
Lame. You were funnier when you had a gall bladder.
(Not at all true. I just had to say it.)
Oh no! They removed his gall bladder of +2 Hillarity, and -4 Putting Up with “First” Posters. Perhaps you can find the Gall Bladder of Vecna. Good luck with that.
That last line was classic! Well done!
Aragorn: Hail to the King, baby! Aragorn, son of Anduril is back!
GM: Anduril is the name of your sword, dumb ass.
You definitely got to put this on T-shirt, Shamus!
What’s funnier than Aragorn mixing up his sword’s name and is dad’s name is that he remembered a name at all. I can imagine him thinking “OH. So what’s my dad’s name? Sauragorn?”
Comic needs more campaign anecdotes (read: advice for DMs)
Otherwise great read as usual
:)
Oh, man, now you’ve gotta do a Bruce Campbell cameo! Either that, or I hereby officially nominate the Evil Dead movies to be the next to get the Shamus treatment. :-)
“Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun.”
#31: Um, that would be like parodying a MST3K episode, wouldn’t it? lol
I just love the last line.
Great one. That needs to be a t-shirt. A nametag with “Aragorn, son of Anduril”
and on the back…
“at least he remembered his name this time”
To the person asking who corrected Aragorn, I believe it was the DM. The DM talks in square yellow balloons, and NPC’s talk in round yellow balloons.
Still waiting for the loot and XP and Babes requests from the PC’s
Awesome. Thanks for the laugh, Shamus!
DING … 38!
Great one Shamus, love the series. I like the look on Peregrin’s face. He’s a bit smarter than the rest, at least he KNOWS he’s out of his depth.
“Clatto Verata N… Necktie… Nickel… It’s an “N” word, it’s definitely an “N” word!”
Is this the official AoD thread?
Funny, funny stuff. “I have no idea what any of that means”. HAH! And I wonder if they’ll have to have a “no Evil Dead quotes” rule to go with the no Python rule now.
Another subtle bit ‘o funny here: In the books, Aragorn refused to enter Minas Tirith until Sauron was defeated, even after the battle of Pelannor Fields, only entering the houses of healing to help out the wounded. He did this out of respect for Stewards, humility, and a sense of self-restraint. All of which Aragormless here clearly lacks in any way shape or form. Perfect example of how Lord of the Rings would never work as a DnD campaign. :)
Reading that has left me an age old question, similar to that of the old woman from the 80’s: “where’s the funny?”
This is kinda the same case as when Eowyn tried to get into the party. Aragorn should be humble and hesitant about getting to be king, but any player would jump at and cheer at the opportunity to get a powerful position which they can exploit. I guess it’s called “bad roleplaying”. Though, even the good roleplayers would probably just roll a neutral character so they can get away with being selfish pricks. Upon thinking about it, that’s a subject that, as far as I recall, haven’t been touched upon in the comic, though it’s very noticeable when I play.
Everyone who’s smart, always play either true neutral or chaotic neutral, because it means they don’t have to bend to the law or share whatever gold they found on slain peasants, who were asking for it, of course.
Long leave the King…
And yeah, Aragorn really can't roleplay; no irritation at Perrin for saving, as was said in earlier comments to earlier comics, the one man with any sort of claim to his throne.
To which I must note: The Stewards of Gondor have not been mentioned to the players at ALL till right now.
…Cut the ‘players’ a BIT of slack, please?
…Not that this isn’t funny(Shamus’s quality ALWAYS shows). It’s just not for quite the same reasons on my part. ‘I have no idea what any of that means’…Gandalf, your speech-craft needs some serious work. Too bad Saruman’s dead…
I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘Aragorn, son of ARAGORN’. Aragorn and Arathorn are far too close in terms of spelling and pronounciation for that slip-up not to be made at some point.
FINALLY CURRENT! Ok, i love your strip, and i am so glad to understand what a gm has to go through. one of my friends tried to make an epic level campaign as his first, it was pretty much a railroad (level 18 dwarven cleric with prismatic sphere scared the crap out of him!)
Tola: He would have had to read his back story to make that mistake. Something we know he will never do.
I’m surprised nobody in the party pointed out that, as far as they’re concerned, this was also the start of the story of Denethor.
Then again, I suppose the dreadful possibility of the DM actually telling them the story was sufficient to keep them quiet.
For another take on this I recommend Tom Smith’s crossover of LotR with a different King. Though he has MP3s of some of his songs on his website, that particular one isn’t available in MP3. He does have the lyrics, though, at
http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/return_king.htm
So you’ll just have to imagine your own 50s Rock-and-Roll tune and imagine Elvis singing it….
That last line was pure genius. The best laugh I have had of the whole series.
“Cheer the hell up…”
:D
Apologies if somebody has already linked you this, but I thought you might find it interesting. It’s an article on the translation of D20 rules to real life situations. You’re referenced in it a few times.
http://www.thealexandrian.net/creations/misc/d&d-calibrating.html
Gandalf’s somber, head-bowing coda to the “Ballad of Steward Denethor,” or whatever that dumb jerkoff’s name was,is spot-on perfect! I can just see the players all reaching for the last piece of pizza at the same time while the DM tries to give a hint of reverence to the proceedings…
DM, at least he remember SOMETHING about his charater, for a change. But i’m guessing his reign will be short lived.
Anduril is the name of you’re sword, dumb ass..
I liked that xD
50 Benjamin Says:
http://www.thealexandrian.net/creations/misc/d&d-calibrating.html
Justin Alexander posts on here sometimes and in spite of a few poor opposed Diplomacy check results in the past, generally I’d say he’s got observations worth considering. Thanks for the linkage, it was a good read.
Pimp!
Like others have said, I’m just impressed that he can remember the name of his sword. Or of his character.
Made my day !!
clearly, they stitched in an extra funny gland, or else they gave him one too many potions of hilarity while healing him, because this made me laugh so hard i cried. Good job, sir, good job, indeed!
I can see the next question: Then what’s the name of your sword?
“Umm…. Gladys?”
Well done, Shamus!
Obfuscato (#23) said:
“Maybe ‘Tony Hawk Presents The Return of The King.'”
There’s a line in the Great Luke Ski song “Stealing Like a Hobbit” that goes:
“And Legolas is so slick now, such an excellent smelter
Like if Tony Hawk was starring in “The Legend Of Zelda…”
solemndragon Says: Then what's the name of your sword?
“Umm…. Gladys?”
No,no,no! the only proper name for a sword is “Pierce”.He he! Like in Brosnan? Get it? …oh, never mind…
Hey Scarlet Knight, let’s not forget “Slash”, as in the guitarist from Guns N Roses. *nods sagely
Hmmm. Pretty good, Invictus. I guess we can then add “Hack” (as in Hack Wilson for non-baseball fans.)
Splendidly hilarious, as always.
The more I read your depictions of Aragorn, the more I believe that should he not have been made king, he would have made an excellent dogsbody (think Blackadder); he certainly has the wits for the job!
Thanks for the laughs, Shamus :)
so when you wrap up this strip (you’re nearing the end of the third book after all)what next?
Personally I’d LOVE to see a similer take on the star wars saga as a SW RPG campaign :)
From Aragons corrination
Peasant 1 ‘So, Denethor was mad right’
Peasant 2 ‘Yep’
Peasant 1 ‘tried to kill himself and his son’
Peasant 2 ‘Yep’
Peasant 1 ‘Was going to let Sauron take over and kill us all’
Peasant 2 ‘Seems so’
Peasant 1 ‘And this is the true king’
Peasant 2 ‘Apparently’
Peasant 1 ‘So……Any chance we can get Denethor back?’
King Aragon, Son of his sword FTW :D
Gandalf: “Could you not save the Steward as well?”
Aragorn: “Well, I yelled ‘Drop! Stop & Roll’ but I guess when Denethor heard me he was already too close to the edge…”
Gimli: “No harm done,lad; the crazy ol’ coot went off the edge long ago…”
Well, along that vein then, Scarlet, how about “Hew” as in Hugh Jackman? *raises an eyebrow
“Hail to the king, baby” indeed.
Nice to hear Ash lines make their appearance.
70!
Don’t forget Joe the Barbarian and his magic sword Irving, from the “Dancing Gods” books. (Joe was a truck driver from our world who got sucked into a magical world; when given a magic sword, he insisted on naming it after his son.
So all the Holy Grail quotes are in the next strip?
“Anduril is the name of your sword, dumb ass”
Classic!
What about Aragorn, son of Duriel? Or son of Andarial? (Sorry, I’ve been on Battlenet all day)
That is one of my favourite strips.
“I am Aragorn, Son of Anduril!” Brilliant. ^^
Aragorn, Son of Anduril…bwahahaha XD
I can’t believe how dumb this guy is :P
I can’t believe no-one noticed the “Duke Nukem” quote!
omg, more and more i get the feeling how the dm suffers under players who don’t care about names of towns, guilds, npc’s and so on.
to all the tormented dm’s out there: head up and the things they can’t remind the name on your players!
i guess thay will never ever forgett the name of a town again – or the name of the oger-leader.
SAM
Isn’t that “Arrowroot of Arrowshirt?”
You’d think when your dad’s name rhymes with yours, you wouldn’t mix it up with your sword’s.
…then again, I *am* the girl who gave up calling a certain brother duo “Boromir and Faramir” and took to calling them “The -Mir Boys.” Sometimes it gets condensed to “the guys with the nutjob dad.”
None of you got the Army Of Darkness quote?
“Hail to the king, baby!”
anduril is your sword, dumbass. LOL. ROFL. love it
At last! My first comment!
You don’t have to understand anything Legolas, just sit there and look pretty until it’s time to kill something again.
What I want to know is what the hell was up with those guards that they were willing to keep on following him even when he was burning his son alive!
Aragorn, son of Anduril: the fantasy equivalent of someone bring a “son of a gun”.
Its hilarious to me to think about how, from the players perspective, so much of the story is just pointless flavor text. Stuff that we in real life care about as people who have read the books and/or watched the movies, so much of it
It struck me when Gandalf was saying “So ends the story of Denethor son of Ecthelion.” and the players of course brush past it because they have no idea who that is, nor do they care to find out. Something about that just tickles me pink.