FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 12: Face the Music

By Shamus Posted Friday Apr 1, 2022

Filed under: Retrospectives 79 comments

This is the last entry in my series. But before I go, let me inflict one last gripe on you. After this, you’ll be glad to be rid of me. 

Over the years I’ve built up something of a reputation as a fussy nitpicker who hates everything and complains all the time. Sometimes I think that’s a bit unfair. I love games! I enjoy them all the time. It’s just that criticism is more spacious than praise. It takes one paragraph to describe why I like something and ten paragraphs to detail why I don’t. This results in a lot of articles that – going strictly by word count – are mostly negative. 

But today I’m going to really earn my reputation as an impossible-to-please critic. A complainer. A gripe merchant. An angry rain cloud in search of a parade. Because I’m going to dump on the one thing in this mess of a game that everyone agrees is aces.

Face The Music

Everybody loves the music. No matter how much people might bitch and moan about the characters, the plot, the themes, the gameplay, the license board, the costumes, or any of the other problem areas in this game, they always stop at the end to admit that despite all of these other problems, the music is really good. 

Everyone except me. I’m just not feeling it.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 12: Face the Music”

 


 

A Travelog of Ivalice, Part XII: A Saucerful of Secrets

By The Rocketeer Posted Wednesday Mar 30, 2022

Filed under: FFXII 58 comments

There are indeed a few of Reddas’ shortbus pirates with the lowdown on the Feywood awaiting Vaan outside. Well, that does them a bit too much credit; they tell us it’s south of Golmore and is rich in mist, which I already knew from the previous conversation and, in fact, from having already been there to farm monster parts. They do mention some sort of trial, the passing of which is necessary to reach Giruvegan beyond, and indeed there was a path I couldn’t traverse before.

Rocketeer's actual correspondence to Shamus: ''We absolutely have to have some picture of these chucklefucks and a caption to the effect that they make the cast of Final Fantasy X look like a fucking Brooks Brothers catalog''
Rocketeer's actual correspondence to Shamus: ''We absolutely have to have some picture of these chucklefucks and a caption to the effect that they make the cast of Final Fantasy X look like a fucking Brooks Brothers catalog''

A quick stroll on out to the Feywood later, and that path, previously blocked by a thick current of rushing mist,mist can do anything, shut up clears up at Ashe’s approach as the mist dissipates with a final howl. On cue, Rasler appears and wanders deeper into the snowy wood, beckoning her further.

Et voilà.
Et voilà.

He could have at least warned us about the boss fight in the next area, the spooky Nabradian git. Thanks to the multitude of status effects at its disposal it managed to annoy me a bit despite my overpoweredness. So! That must have been the trial of the Feywood, which means Giruvegan lies just ahead.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “A Travelog of Ivalice, Part XII: A Saucerful of Secrets”

 


 

Boomers vs. Videogames

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 29, 2022

Filed under: Column 170 comments

Normally when I make a video for YouTube, I take my transcript and turn it into an article. This usually involves cutting out the parts that won’t work in print: Bits of footage, audio gags, jokes where my narration disagrees with the slides I’m showing, and so on. This video is quite short – about 14 minutes – and it has a lot of these sorts of video-only shenanigans. If I cut them all out, then there wouldn’t be much left.

So rather that clean up the script for print, I’m going to publish it as-is.Actually, I did get rid of one gag related to mispronouncing “Marcin Iwi?ski”. I don’t know how well this will work, but I’m sure you’ll let me know in the comments. Anyway, here it is…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Boomers vs. Videogames”

 


 

Diecast #376: Hyper Terra Ghost

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 28, 2022

Filed under: Diecast 100 comments

I intended to mention it on the show, but it slipped my mind: I actually have a new video coming out this week. Look for it tomorrow. It’s about boomer shooters. Or baby boomers. Or something like that.



Hosts: Paul, Shamus. Episode edited by Issac.
Diecast376


Link (YouTube)

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #376: Hyper Terra Ghost”

 


 

FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 11: The Dream Team

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 25, 2022

Filed under: Retrospectives 81 comments

This week the Rocketeer takes us on the long journey through the Mosphoran Highwaste, across the Salikawood, over the Phon Coast, to the Tchita Uplands, into the Sochen Cave Palace, and to many other places I can’t be bothered to look up on the wiki now that they’ve all blurred together in my mind.

While we’re on this long journey, I’d like to ask you:

Remember the start of the game?

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “FF12 Sightseeing Tour Part 11: The Dream Team”

 


 

A Travelog of Ivalice, Part 11: Capital Offenses

By The Rocketeer Posted Wednesday Mar 23, 2022

Filed under: FFXII 59 comments

We, the heroes, have a loooooong walk ahead of us. Yes, while great Yensan Sandsea before the Tomb of Raithwall consisted of the Ogir-Yensa and Nam-Yensa, the road to Archades’ capital will see us depart from Nalbina Fortress through the Mosphoran Highwaste, the Salikawood, the Phon Coast, the Tchita Uplands,Pronounced “SEE-ta” and the Sochen Cave Palace,Pronounced “SAW-shen” with detours through the Nabreus Deadlands and the Necrohol of NabudisPronounced “nah-boo-DEES” itself if I feel like a badass, and I always feel like a badass.Pronounced “tool”

After moving so very hurriedly for most of the game, the pace slows to a near crawl around this point. Know merely that a daunting length of time passed between that last paragraph and this next one; nothing of any note happens, save for one small but significant scene at a small camp in Phon Coast.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “A Travelog of Ivalice, Part 11: Capital Offenses”

 


 

(Lack of) Health Update

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 22, 2022

Filed under: Personal 120 comments

I know not everyone is here for personal-life stuff. And that’s cool! Come back tomorrow and we can dunk on some videogames. This is a bit of a downer, so I don’t blame you if you want to scroll elsewhere in your feed in your search for distraction. I kinda need to write this, but you don’t need to read it.

But if you’re curious how I’m doing, then here it is… Continue reading ⟩⟩ “(Lack of) Health Update”