Shamus Plays WoW, Part 2

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 3, 2010

Filed under: Column 46 comments

At least they’re not rats. And there’s not ten of them.


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46 thoughts on “Shamus Plays WoW, Part 2

  1. Usually_Insane says:

    “Marshal McBride is incredibly talented at screwing you.”

    Best. Line. Ever!

    1. Joe Cool says:

      I literally lol’d. For reals.

      1. Volatar says:

        Me too. Four people leaned over wanting to know what I was laughing at

    2. Deoxy says:

      “Ever” is a bit strong (Shamus does funny stuff pretty regularly), but it was certainly much funnier than average, even for Shamus.

  2. A different Dan says:

    Pretty sure you meant “hoarding” and not “hording” in the first paragraph.

    1. Miral says:

      Perhaps he was horde-ing. This is WoW, after all.

  3. Greetz says:

    Great series! Could you hint to as how many levels we are going to follow Dethbringerr?

  4. Robyrt says:

    I got a kick out of the Kobold Worker / Kobold Laborer distinction. Maybe they belong to different unions that demand exclusive contracts? Maybe there is a caste system, where Workers are not allowed to level up beyond 3? Maybe it’s just a bad translation and the word in Koboldese for “Laborer” really means “Drunkard”?

    1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

      Didn’t notice it before, but yes. That does sound like title silliness caused by unions.

      1. Pickly says:

        It is (If you haven’t played WoW) something that can get quite annoying after awhile of playing the game, though. A lot of time can get lost because you’ve ended up killing “dire panthers” instead of “aggressive panthers”, and mixed areas can get pretty annoying as well.

        1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

          It took me a second time to read your reply before I remembered that it had happened to me at least once in WoW. Really annoying. Especially since I then didn’t find any of the ones I needed followed by getting a quest to kill the ones I had been killing.

  5. Kdansky says:

    I never realized that Peltskinner guy screwed me over. That was a hilarious observation.

  6. Meredith says:

    I remember that area from the time I played the WoW free trial, but I thought the kobolds in the mine didn’t come up till level 7 or 8. Weren’t there bandits in the vineyard first or something? I enjoyed sneak attacking them for a bit, then the game quickly lost all charm for me.

    1. Triz says:

      There are two other mines with kobolds in the Elwynn Forest, and yeah, Shamus will probably get to the bandits in the next episode.

    2. Peter H. Coffin says:

      It’s way funnier this way.

  7. MogTM says:

    The flip side of the horrible mismatch between the human starting quests and the warlock class the the synergy between undead and warlock. They both have an “amoral and desperate to survive at all costs” feel that just works wonderfully together.

  8. Brandon says:

    I really do think that each class should have had its own introductory area, but that would have just been an incredible amount more work, since each race would need different ones for each class too.

    It sure would add a lot more flavor though.

    1. Alastair says:

      Including the new race/class combinations in Cataclysm, that would require 91 separate starting areas. Which is probably more than the total number of areas in the current world. That’s a lot of effort to put into areas that most people spend half an hour in at most.

    2. Kdansky says:

      I honestly despise this “separate start, identical later” trope that WoW made popular and everyone copied (Dragonage, Avencast, a bazillion more). It’s such a cheap way of pretending to have some background that matters.

      1. Alastair says:

        Except that usually it makes sense. A dwarf is going to have a different background and starting location from an elf, but eventually they are going to have to end up participating in the same overarching plot, or else you have two entirely different games. The only way around it is to make everyone start in the same location regardless of their race/class (say everyone starts off just joining a specific guild, or something), which can work, but doesn’t contribute to making another playthrough of the game any different.

  9. Nick Bell says:

    I think this is your best Shamus Plays yet. Well done and keep up the great humor.

  10. Coffee says:

    In Scots, Gob means Mouth.

    So GobStab… Stabs you in the mouth.

    I’ll assume this was unintentional, but made me chuckle slightly.

    1. Shamus says:

      Totally intentional.

      I’d heard the phrase “Shut your fat gob you stupid git.” and thought it was a fun term.

      1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

        Other fun words: Sod and sot.

        1. Newbie says:

          I just had a look at british slang then (I didn’t realise sod was british only) turns out Jock is offensive… I feel like a rasict.
          Cock a snook at that silly Dethbringerr

      2. Coffee says:

        You should check out some classic Billy Connolly.

        Another good term: Gobshite.

    2. Veloxyll says:

      I have to admit, I saw it, made the connection, and didn’t even think anything of it. You people not having our slang is WIEEEERRRDDD.

  11. Gandaug says:

    Excellent work. I’m enjoying the twist on this Shamus Plays.

  12. Atarlost says:

    Wow, these quests make even less sense than the Shire Post.

  13. Deoxy says:

    As funny as this is, it does leave out the fact that the main reason to do these quests is the XP reward, not the money (at least, that’s how it is in most games – I don’t play WoW).

    Of course, that’s a form of meta-gaming, which would ruin the “from the demon’s perspective” thing you’ve got going (which is just ridiculously funny, by the way), so I can see why you left it out…

    1. Aldowyn says:

      Actually, experience from the character’s point of view is usually definitely there, but not consciously acknowledged. And yes, the point of quests is NOT the 40c.

      1. tremor3258 says:

        The candles you no take alone start to add up to close to the quest rewards after a little while: it’s not about the money, it’s about that warm glow of satisfaction, the level-up sound, and the light-show.

  14. Amnestic says:

    After reading that I’m starting to wonder if by the end of it we’re going to see Norman, Grand Warlock of Evil, with a harem of succubi at his beck and call and leaving a trail of desolation in his wake. Seemed to me like Gobstab was starting to get to him.

    Suppose that might not be as funny though.

  15. Mark says:

    These quests are insulting.

  16. Daemian Lucifer says:

    I get an eric-y vibe from norman.Though eric wasnt so much good as he was just incompetent.

  17. Hal says:

    I was hoping the payment shoes would be leather, then ol’ Gobby could make fun of his, erm, “master,” for not knowing how to wear a pair of boots.

  18. I’m enjoying this. Did not know they had changed that starting quest to make the wolves diseased. Changes ;)

  19. Samkathran says:

    Loving your take on the human starting area, Shamus! The workers vs laborers argument was great, and the guards having a bet to see how many times Norman would do the same stupid task over and over again had me in stitches. It sums up a lot of the old quests in WoW pretty well!

    Fortunately, Outland and Northrend quests were much more interesting… well, mostly. Damn helboar… actually, boars in general suck in WoW. Speaking of which, it should be funny to see how Norman reacts to the odd shortage of livers in Westfall boars, haha.

    Keep up the great work!

  20. thebigJ_A says:

    I like this series. The writing is great.

    It reminds me why I just can’t get into MMOs. I like my rpgs for the story, and the choices, and the sense of adventure and exploration. Loot is great, but it’s secondary. (Just look at Too Human. Tons of great loot, nothing good to do with it, crap story, terrible game.)

    MMOs are just doing a million meaningless quests a thousand people did before you, and a thousand people will do after you.

    Give me Morrowind. Give me Fallout: NV or Mass Effect. You can keep your WoWs and Eves (tried both, Eve was the more interesting, for a while). I respect that you guys like them, but until one gives me a fulfilling story arc or something, I’m all set.

    1. Sagretti says:

      World of Warcraft does have a heck of a lot of story, it’s just presently absent from the earliest parts of the game. Both expansions have somewhat contained stories with a definable end boss (though Burning Crusade ended up with an extra filler raid that muddled with the overall story progression a bit).

      You might try the game out after Cataclysm, as one of the goals is to make the entire game feel cohesive, from the first levels on to the end. From what I’ve read, the story has been plussed in the starting experience a ton, though there are still weak points I’m sure.

      1. Amnestic says:

        Gonna take it by race since that seems the easiest way.

        Human: You’ve got a fairly decent overarching story around the Defias Brotherhood, culminating with the Deadmines at around 15-20.

        Gnome+Dwarf: I honestly can’t remember much about this one since I only played it maybe once all the way through. As I recall though, not a great deal of big story. Just quests and background and introducing the world and stuff.

        Night Elf: Mostly background again, talks about Teldrassil, introduces you to the douchebag Archdruid, corruption in the trees and stuff. This one didn’t really have a ‘culmination’ as I recall. Maybe Blackfathom Deeps?

        Orcs+Trolls: Again, not a huge amount of story from what I recall, though I did only play this once or twice.

        Tauren: See above, ditto. I’m an Alliance guy, what can I say?

        Undead: There was more to this one as I recall, though for the life of me I can’t think what besides a) Making plagues and b) Fighting the Scarlet Crusade.

        I can see where you’re coming from certainly. Out of the starting areas for non-expansion races, Humans and Undead are probably the most story-rich to me, though I’ll defer to actual Horde players on whether Tauren/Orc+Troll have more than I remember.

        1. Alastair says:

          The Dranei and the Blood Elves have much better starting stories than any of the original races.

          And the Death Knights have an excellent starting story (although they aren’t a race). Unsurprisingly, Blizzard learned as they went along.

          1. thebigJ_A says:

            Sure, there’s a “story”. But what is the point? The world doesn’t change, you have no impact. You’ll do some quest-line, kill the boss or whatever, and he’ll respawn for the next guy. Nothing you do matters.

            1. DrKwang says:

              If this is your complaint, then all I can say is that MMOs are probably not for you. If only one person, or one group, in an MMO gets to kill the Big Bad, there’s going to be an awful lot of disappointed players.

            2. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

              I feel your… pain? Uh.

              Anyway, might want to take a look at Guild Wars 2, but I suspect it won’t be much different. Maybe just enough for me to fool myself if I put an effort to it.

              Although, it would help if the quests wouldn’t be so damn melodramatic about it. In every single MOG. Well, it’s less annoying when it’s in an instance, after all you don’t see The Big Bad spawn right back up. But saving something from burning to the ground only for it to burst into flames a moment later does pretty good damage to immersion.

  21. Jarenth says:

    I for one am looking forward to Norman learning the ways of the world in the hard, painful, and hilarious-to-watch way.

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