DM of the Rings LIV:
Get Shorty

By Shamus
on Jan 22, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings

Shouting in Fangorn forest. Looking for Danny DeVito

I could not figure out a way to put Liv Tyler into episode LIV. Pity. But I did manage to work Danny DeVito in there, which was kind of unexpected.

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20929 comments. Hurry up and add yours before it becomes passé.

From the Archives:

  1. Bookworm says:

    Uh, oh–he said the Famous Last Words! *snicker*

    I found out about this a couple of months ago, Shamus, and I’ve been really enjoying it! I never played D&D myself, but I MUDded for a few years, so I’m following it mostly. With Narbonic done, this is the only updating Webcomic I’m reading–thanks muchly for the laughs!

  2. Icarus says:

    I’ve been reading this for about a month now (since it was posted on the Fellowship of Middle Earth message boards) and have loved every single episode. They’re hilarious and so accurate – it’s like Dilbert for the REAL Geeks!

    I do have to admit that I am very disappointed not to see Liv in episode LIV. If Peter Jackson can get her 30 more minutes of screen time, then you should be able to manage one cell in a comic! I’ve even figured out how to get Arwen involved in the Hobbit so that we can have a female lead for that movie, too!

    Keep up the great work! And everyone else keep up the great comments… those are almost as fun as the comic itself!

  3. Susano says:

    Lesson for today? Never, ever, say something the GM is bound to use against you later.

    Wise GMs make notes of things like this and eventually spring them on the PCs. I recall my human/alien character in a teen supers game telling the other human/alien character “You know what the difference between you and I is? My family’s never tried to conquer the planet.”

    Famous last words.

    And in a anime monster hunters game, one of the PCs told me he wanted an haunted house adventure. I looked over at my Delta Green books and grinned. Pity I never got to run that one….

  4. ChristianTheDane says:

    Great :)

    I feel a story twist coming on.

  5. Doccy says:

    Shamus,

    Just so you know? This is fabulous. Oh, and about once a fortnight I pop over and look at your TMBG + Rollercoasters thing.

    Heheheheheh

  6. I haven’t seen the movies and my vision center can’t parse the last image. What happened?

  7. Edward Toon says:

    Quick and dirty version for Steven. Trio is walking in the woods and Aragorn asks why they are being quite. Legolas says “Dunno. DM said the forest was enchanted or huanted.” Gimili points out they stand an awefully big chance of missing the hobbits if they keep sneaking. Elf responds by yelling “Yo! Hobbits!” Aragorn is not happy about that to which Legolas replies “Why? Whats the worst that can happen?” Que annoying NPC wizards apperance.

  8. Shamus says:

    Yeah, the last panel is Gandalf showed up and there was a really bright light that confused them and us.

  9. GEBIV says:

    AHHHHHHH!!! AMBUSH!!!

    Quick! Kill him!

  10. SteveDJ says:

    Nah, we couldn’t have another “Gollum” incident (see strip XXXVI) since Leggo-lass is being so reckless and noisy… or, could we? :-)

  11. Hal says:

    Heh, if Gandalf was their “bazooka” before, I’m not sure they’d have a chance of knocking him over.

    Gandalf the White always rolls twenties.

  12. Keith says:

    “Doccy says…..TMBG + Rollercoasters”?? What? Where? Am I missing something as funny as DMotR? Even half as funny? BTW, great work, Shamus. Keep it up!

  13. Shamus says:

    The Rollercoaster bit can be found here.

  14. Seth says:

    GEBIV Says:
    >> AHHHHHHH!!! AMBUSH!!!
    >> Quick! Kill him!

    Which is EXACTLY what they attempt in the book (and movie). Maybe the movie does not make it clear — Legolas lets fly an arrow and Gandalf ffffpts it to a cinder before it reached him. Aragorn draws his sword and Gandalf heats it to a toasty few 100 degrees forcing him to drop it.

  15. freefall says:

    Don’t forget how Gimli’s axe shatters.

  16. Telas says:

    Steven Den Beste Says:
    January 22nd, 2007 at 7:17 pm
    I haven’t seen the movies and my vision center can’t parse the last image. What happened?

    Forgive my curiosity, but… what are you doing here?

    Telas

  17. saichen says:

    I first started reading this when it was featured on Attack of the Show! on G4tv, and i gotta say, it’ son my bookmarks right up there with Applegeeks, Penny Arcade, and Megatokyo. Being the DM’s girlfriend in a mostly-female gaming group, i readily share this with my friends… it’s genious. I think the movies would’ve been better had they occured like this. ALbeit, fewer people would get the jokes, but… it’s funnier for me :D

  18. Rick Russo says:

    To the dude who spents hours on hours knocking up this stuff every two/three days, I gotta say…..GREAT STUFF! KEEP IT UP!! I have been reading this since I found out about it from a mate of mine I have been rolling on the ground in stitches of laughter as I read every episode of DM of the Rings!!! Now I wait impatiently as to how this story unfolds!!

    Great work and keep ’em coming and who knows, you want to have a crack at the Star Wars trilogies. I’m sure there will be many a butt joke when Jar Jar Binks gets involved!

  19. Rick says:

    Rick Russo Says:
    Great work and keep ‘em coming and who knows, you want to have a crack at the Star Wars trilogies. I’m sure there will be many a butt joke when Jar Jar Binks gets involved!

    I’m guessing that will be the crossover for the hobbits players :)

    Not to pre-empt or anything, I know authors hate that. ;-)

  20. Deoxy says:

    Rick Russon,

    Judging by your verbiage, you are not an American (Aussie, maybe?), which is fine, but I thought you might like to know something:

    “To the dude who spents hours on hours knocking up this stuff every two/three days…”

    In the US, “knock up” is a crude slang term for “impregnate”. FYI. Although maybe I SHOULDN’T tell you, as the unintentional humor is enjoyable, in a very juvenile sense.

  21. Ava Tari says:

    Icarus said: “I’ve even figured out how to get Arwen involved in the Hobbit so that we can have a female lead for that movie, too!”

    Me too! Mine involves her rebellious teenage years and a crazy fling with Beorn in his bear form.

    Of course, I have also been threatening to cast Jim Carrey as Bilbo, because you know he’s box office magic for kids’ movies.

  22. damien walder says:

    Hey, “knocking up” or “knocking out” is also blacksmith’s slang for getting things done.

    Steven Den Beste Says:
    January 22nd, 2007 at 7:17 pm
    I haven’t seen the movies and my vision center can’t parse the last image. What happened?

    Yes indeedee – what happened to you for the THEATRICAL RELEASE? Are you in Djibouti? Burkina Faso?
    New Guinea? My public library has these films on DVD, TBS has shown them, even. So it’s just s bit surprising that you grace us with your unfamiliar situation.

    Plus – some of the most fun Sir Ian McCellan and Christopher Lee ever got paid for.

    • johanna says:

      I suppose it is possible he lives in a cave with a computer, or more likely he felt the movies were tl;dr (or would it be tl;dw) either way, i bet he has a soccer ball named wilson as a best friend!

  23. TheDeepDark says:

    I gotta respond to Susano’s comment (#3): “Lesson for today? Never, ever, say something the GM is bound to use against you later.”

    This is SO true with our GM(s) that it I will unconciously move to cut-off anything I hear start: “It would be really bad if…” or, “What if…” or anything along those lines. Are having similar potential as those same lines. Maybe I’m a little too paranoid, but I’ve had too much experience with off-hand comments (even made outside the gaming sessions) coming back to bite my characters.

  24. Ciryandor says:

    My idea of Arwen in The Hobbit is Bilbo meeting the young Estel (ten years old @ The Hobbit) and Arwen visiting Rivendell and trying to hide from him; and talking to Bilbo. Tolkien never explicitly said that Arwen wasn’t at Imladris at the time, just that Aragorn had never seen her before the day he saw her when he was twenty, and that she had been for some time away from Rivendell. For an elf, even 9 years is some time already.

  25. lunjan says:

    For the group i play with we learned the ‘never say certain things to your dm’ long ago. when we get too far of the path even for me (i have been known to lead 2 hour discussions on the relative merits of communism, socialism, and capitalism… contrasting their ideology with practical applications in the real world, and discussing which one truly represents the subsistence farmers in mideval societies like faerun) i turn the back of my character sheet into a sigh that reads “RANDOM ENCOUNTER” and threaten the group with it until we return to the plot

  26. Robin says:

    You’re missing something important. The rule isn’t “Never, ever, say something the GM is bound to use against you later.”

    The rule is “Remember that the DM is using what you say.” Properly handled, this is a great resource.

    Player 1: Man, we’ve seen everything but an Umber Hulk in this dungeon.
    DM: (a few minutes later) Eight Umber Hulks appear before you.
    Player 1: I use the Rod of Commanding Umber Hulks you gave us two years ago, while laughing that we would never get to use it.

  27. K says:

    It is a shame you couldn’t work Liv into this episode; however, “YO! HOBBITS!” just about made me fall over laughing!!!

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