Shamus Plays LOTRO: Part 11

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Mar 31, 2010

Filed under: Column 26 comments

“Hey Shamus! You should do the hide and seek quest! You should do the pie quest! You should Slam your face in a car door!”

You people and your constant demands for me to abuse myself for your amusement.


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26 thoughts on “Shamus Plays LOTRO: Part 11

  1. RustyBadger says:

    Holly Hornblower. *snorts coffee out his nose and all over his keyboard*

    Thanks, Shamus. Thanks. I guess it’s payback, huh?

    Also, “soft trips”!

  2. Rosseloh says:

    Ah, the Shire.

    If you can get past the convoluted concepts, it’s definitely the best place for your early levels if you want to level quickly and easily.

    Also, graphically, the zone is IMO the most faithful to the feel of the book’s description.

    That said, I did hate the pie delivery quests. I only did them once, and that was just because I had never done them before. Every other character gets his “75-Shire-quest-completion” deed done with other stuff.

  3. Meredith says:

    Go back and collect the bad pies? Ugh. I hate pointless repetition that stretches out an already kind of annoying mission.

    1. Heron says:

      I could understand her asking you to go find the bad pies and destroy them, but to bring them back? Within a time limit? And if the pie gets dropped in the river, or you drop it to defend yourself from attacking boars, you have to start over?

      That quest makes absolutely no sense to me. I only did it once, for the title.

  4. Teldurn says:

    Nicely done.

  5. SolkaTruesilver says:

    Aren’t you a little masochist, Shamus?

    I mean.. PIE!

    1. Rosseloh says:

      The berries are rancid, apparently. Hence your collection and returning to Holly with them.

      I like to think even Hobbits have taste buds.

  6. I don’t really understand the need for the amount of silliness that goes into MMO quests. Sure, not every quest can involve saving the world, but surely they can do better than 90% of what’s on offer.

    1. Joshua says:

      The current model is to have several thousand quests. Unfortunately, that means that a decent amount of them are not of the highest quality.

  7. nerdpride says:

    Aren’t Hobbits supposed to be too lazy for all this?

  8. krellen says:

    There is a reason I never played a Hobbit while I was playing LOTRO.

    This is that reason.

    1. Jarenth says:

      There is a reason I quit LOTRO about ten levels in.

      I went from confronting a Nazgûl, past fighting giants spiders and invading bandits, to delivering mail and pies. I decided to stop playing there and then for fear of getting toilet scrubbing missions next.

  9. LOLdependent says:

    This game seems insane.Is there a quest where you need to deliver a glass of water whitout wasting a drop and there are mean people tripping you? Do you have to choose during a level up buffs like :+10% pie freshness?
    Also, using “metal gear” is cheating…tztztz

  10. NotYetMeasured says:

    Funny stuff as usual!

    I agree with the hot-spot, Shamus, but the bridge down the river is the way to go. The time limit can be a little tight, but it’s not hard at all to avoid mobs going the long way around.

    The only reason I ever wasted time on the choke point was that the VERY FIRST time I did the quest I got lucky and got through. I would say my success rate is 10% via choke-point, 90% via detour.

    I know you just need some jokes, but I actually really like that Hiders-and-Seekers quest. It’s a good introduction to the interact-with-multiple-NPCs quest model, and is one of a very few that makes use of vertical distance in the game world. Using the standard camera angle and assuming you haven’t already paid a visit to the Mathom House then taken a short-cut home, Odo Pipes isn’t that easy to find IMO. That’s without using the new quest-tracker radar on the mini-map; if he appears there then it’s trivial.

  11. Ern'st says:

    I wonder if anyone else will get the “orcish pastry chefs” reference. By the way, “her pies were bad, and taste like butts” had me laughing for a good dozen minutes.

    1. Zetal says:

      I’m guessing it’s a reference to the Shortest Published Adventure.

      I ran it for my brother. He started whining about how his good cleric wouldn’t *do* that.

  12. Tuck says:

    Okay, so why does every single Hobbit that’s just standing around in those screenshots have their knees bent?!

    They look like they’ve got dog legs!

    1. AR says:

      It’s because they don’t move. Standing with your legs locked for long periods of time interferes with blood flow and can cause a person to pass out. This happens occasionally during long military ceremonies when personnel at parade rest ignore or forget the warning not to lock your knees.

      Hence, NPCs who just stand somewhere have to stand with their legs bent, or else they’d pass out.

  13. Ramsus says:

    Wow so not only does she not have any business sense but she doesn’t even bother to taste a berry or two of a bunch she’ll be making pies with? Perhaps she is meant to be the NPC version of a noob PC making pies? I certainly can’t imagine she’s been doing this as her actual job.

    1. acronix says:

      Of course she won´t taste the berries, she doesn´t have time! She has to make pies quickly!

  14. tremor3258 says:

    In the game’s defense, I played through the elf/dwarf starting area and it was more dramatic.

  15. Chiller says:

    I didn’t really think you’ll do the pies thing after all, since mechanically it’s just a repeat of the mail delivery quest. Oh well, the commentary makes it much funnier anyway :)

    I’m wondering, do you get a lot of people coming by to just say hello ? There seem to be quite a few LOTRO players around, and if I was still playing, and on that server, I’d definitely do that.

  16. Daemian Lucifer says:

    The weirdest thing is when you think that every player can do this quest.So she sends out rotten pies,you bring them back,and she finds another hobbit to deliver the same pies again.Ah,the wonders of a mumorpuger.

    But is it really that hard to make sensible quests?I remember that in a single player game space rangers,you could roam around freely.The game is like a single player mumorpuger,but with sensible quests.Maybe I just didnt find any ridiculous quests in that one,or the fact that it was made for single player improves the quality of side quests,who knows.

  17. LOLdependent says:

    Lucifer, what exactly is a mumorpuger?And what is the name of that game?

    1. Shamus says:

      “mumorpuger” is a Yahtzee joke. It’s his brute-force attempt to pronounce “MMORPG”.

      1. Bit says:

        A funner word to pronounce is these new MMOFPSes, which goes something like mumopuhfuss.
        Anyways, funny stuff Shamus, as usual. the poem at the end was exceptionally good.

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