DM of the Rings XXVI:
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Our Dearly DiscardedPrevious Post
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More Magical Topography
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Sooner or later, we all become Dave.
A quick glance around this site should reveal that I have a profound dice problem. I can’t walk into the geek store without picking up a couple of new dice, even when they are sold for the outragous price of $0.75 ea.
DM of the Rings XXVI:
Our Dearly DiscardedPrevious Post
Our Dearly DiscardedPrevious Post
Next PostDM of the Rings XXVIII:
More Magical Topography
More Magical Topography
From The Archives:
The Middle Ages
Would you have survived in the middle ages?
Here is a 13 part series where I talk about programming games, programming languages, and programming problems.
Final Fantasy X
A game about the ghost of an underwater football player who travels through time to save the world from a tick that controls kaiju satan. Really.
In Defense of Crunch
Crunch-mode game development isn't good, but sometimes it happens for good reasons.
Stop Asking Me to Play Dark Souls!
An unhinged rant where I maybe slightly over-reacted to the water torture of Souls evangelism.
94 thoughts on “DM of the Rings XXVII:
Very nice. I’ll spread the word and hope you don’t get your bandwidth hammered.
Are you using Comic Life for this?
Hey! Guess what I just…. oh. Good stuff man, I’m really waiting for the two seiges later on, and the overland hunt for the orcs that captured mary and pipin should be fun, the joys of a split group.
Meriadoc Brandybuck being called Mary is hilarious, I wonder whether they called Dominic Monaghan “Mary” on set, lol. Oh and it’s siege.
As a DM and Player for over 25 years, I love this comic and website with an un-holy and perverse love.
Keep the good stuff coming.
The funny thing is, after years of not buying dice because I let myself realize I friggin had plenty… I bought 2 sets the other week. Just because I felt like it. I’m falling off the wagon! =P
I’m not using Comic Life. Looks like that program is Mac-only. I’m using Comic Book Creator from Planetwide Games. After using it for two months I have many nitpicks with it, but so far it’s getting the job done.
As a Dungeon Master, I carry two sets of dice with me at all times (and I mean ALL times). One is white, and good, the other is black, and evil. My friend keeps trying to make me buy a blue set for law and an orange set for chaos, but I think that’s going too far.
I love the comic!
oh… this is sheer genius.
As a D&D player for over 25 years and long time Tolkien geek… speechless.
Keep up the good work!
And get a nice leather dice bag like mine! ;o)
There’s a brand of Scotch whose bottles used to come inside a purple velvet bag with a drawstring. Even when I used to drink I hated Scotch. (It tastes like soap.) But I bought a bottle of the stuff just to get the bag, which I used to use for my dice.
I’m still in love with this comic. thank you from d-orange!
The bags you’re talking about are Crown Royal bags, and almost every gamer I know has at least one, often two, to hold their dice. An exceptional and long-lasting bag.
Hello, I just found out about these comics through an LOTR site and I just love them. They’re funny and easy to understand, even for a non-D&Der like myself. ^_^
The bags are from Crown Royal, but it’s not Scotch. It’s Canadian rye whiskey. In fact it’s made not far from here.
I can’t stand Crown, myself, either. And whiskey is pretty much all I drink.
After all the years, my dice don’t even match anymore… and they’re now in a plastic Ziploc baggie. I can’t seem to part with my old trusted dice, motley though they are.
you can use the whiskey in cooking; you don’t have to drink it to get the bag. Bon appétit magazine published a great fake Chinese recipe that uses whiskey.
Just discovered your LOTR comics via a friend. Very, very funny! I know that it’s a few strips back, but I wish you’d gone with the joke about the players not wanting to deal with the grapple rules. I was always completely intimidated by that section of the combat rules.
I have a d20 from the Basic D&D boxed game that’s so frickin’ old, it’s nigh on round. It sure does roll, though.
Good lord, I just realized I’m trying to brag about how long I’ve had a 20-sided die. SHOOT ME, NOW!
Since we are on the subject of dice…
Looking back at the OLD AD&D Player’s Handbook (old – like 1st edition rules), there is a reference to rolling a d16. It is in the description for the Magic-User Find Familiar spell.
Naturally, everyone just says it is a typo. But I have to ask – is it possible that at one time there might really have been plans for a d16? Perhaps one really exists?
Surely someone as hooked on dice as yourself might know the true story behind this d16 reference? :-)
I used to do the d16 by using 3d6-2. It’s more of a bell curve, but it worked for us.
As a mathematician, I’ll leave as an exercise to other readers how to design a d3.
You make this fair die in a way that is symmetric about its equator and rotationally symmetric about an axis perpendicular to this equator. (Like a d8 or d10. Note that d8 and d10 each have different angles through which they are rotated until they look the same; this is legal).
Once you figure out the d3 you can generalize it to any number of sides…
I need… some dice
Mmmm… Polyhedral dice.
God this strip is too funny, or as Homer once said “It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true!”
Our gaming group is loving it… We even know which one of us is Legolas, even if Dwa…, er, he hasn’t figured it out yet. ;)
Keep up the good work, and thanks!
1) d3 – use a d6, number 1-3 twice. (I have at least 2 such.)
2) Bag – I made one using a bandana, grommets and shoelaces. It opens out totally flat, so I can SEE all the dice, and closes up reasonably tightly.
Never got a Crown Royal bag. Had a neat little leather bag my aunt had given me when I was 10, and then I made the bandana one when that got to be too small for the growing dice collection. My husband always kept his in a nice wooden box, and he has stopped collecting dice. (I, on the other hand, have a set on my thinkgeek wishlist and have drooled over some at Dragon’s Lair recently….)
I have some of the Crown Royal bags, some of the commercial dice bags, other odds an ends. What I like is a ornately carved wooden cigar box with a plush velvet interior and nice latch. It looks so regal for the DM to have his dice in one of these. Tis good to be King!
But… I want some Frosted Emerald Translucent Luminous Gem Dice. Now!
I can’t believe I don’t have any like that – my glowing dice are all made of the same plastic.
Hmmm lets see…
1) D20 from Pre 1st Edition box set…. Got it
2) So many dice I need a Crown Royal bag just to carry them…Got it
3) Crown Royal bag holding my dice… Got it
4) 1st Edition set of rules…Got it and can top it!
I have hidden away here the 1974 pocketbook set of Rules that was released before the Hard-bound books and the 8X10 box set of rules.
Comes from being one of the players that started in 1979.
Now what is bad..is that I get the “old man” label at Con Games now. **shutters**
On a side note:
I was hoping to see the interactions of the party durning the fight of the Balrog.
I could just picture the snide remarks of the players as Gandalf says, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
I also started back in ’79. I still have my first set of polyhedrals, the ones where you had to color them by hand with a crayon.
Never got a crown royal bag, but I don’t drink either.
Right now, the only person I know personally with more dice than me is my sister. Even my old GM in college had/has less dice.
I still have the pocket set, and first edition (original hard cover) which I still use at times. I run games for my sister’s family, when we all have enough time, but they use 4th edition so I had to get new books again…
I can do most of you one better. I’ve been collecting odd and unusual dice for years now, and now have one dice bag just for all of my “specials”–ranging from d6 that are marked with corridor directions, NPC reactions, etc. to ‘dirty dice’ sold as adult novelties to a pair of 1″ long hexagonal brass rods with small pips drilled into them all the way up to a d30 and a “Zocchihedron” d100 (yes, someone actually created a d100–it’s the size and weight of a golfball!). Unfortunately for me, I’ve discovered that just opening up that dicebag can literally stop a game session dead in its tracks as all my fellow players AND the GM all stop to check out my collection. It got so bad that one of my former fellow players was planning to write up my Dicebag of Distraction as a magical object for D&D and submit it to Dragon Magazine!
Raven: Wow. 1979? I was eight. I didn’t even SEE a D20 until 1985 or so. I didn’t OWN one until 2004.
Yes, well, somewhere in this house is a 30-year-old cardboard box containing the following five pamphlets:
Chainmail (spiral bound)
Dungeons and Dragons (period. No distinguishing descriptor.)
Greyhawk (introduced a a fourth (gasp) character class.)
Must be in a box somewhere. I hope. Got ’em something like the second week of college, freshman year I think.
I think you are discribing the same thing I am.
The 1974 rules had 4 light tan books in it.
A spiral bound Silver colored book called Chainmail
and stapled/folded “book” of referance sheets.
The first books was Men & Magic
the second was Monsters & Treasure
the third was The Underworld & Wilderness adventures
Greyhawk was the very first supplement to the rules system.
Now Sherman lets set the Wayback Machine to 1978.
Can any one tell me “underground” set of rules were released in almost the same kind of format and same kind of covers?
Shamus: :) yes 1979…. scary is not?
What is really bad is I have at least 4 18 gallon plastic totes full of gaming suplies in storage. Things like the 1st Ed of SpellJammer, 1st Ed of Paranoina and so forth.
Now you see why I get the “Old Man” label at con games.. LOL! ;)
They’re a relatively new development, but yes, D16’s do exist now. Look here: http://paizo.com/store/gameAids/dice/byManufacturer/chessex/d16
But I never saw one in 1st-edition days, so probably that old reference *was* a typo…I don’t really know.
My dice bag is chainmaille. I made it myself a couple years ago. It’s terribly shiny, and doubles as a convenient weapon in a pinch.
‘Course, that’s just for my White Wolf dice (d10s). I keep my D&D dice in a little tiger-print pouch I hand-stitched awhile back. I only have one set of D&D dice (plus the extra d20 left over from my Magic: the Gathering days–it made a nifty life counter).
Incidentally, awesome comic, the whole series. It’s *far* too accurate.
Hah! So we were not the only ones to use d20’s as M:TG life counters.
huh, and i thought every1 used d20s as counters
my rougue says, “Hello, my beautiful 6d6 snk atk dmg!”
Original box set. Check.
Dice addict. Check.
Crown Royal bag. Check.
Egads, I’m home.
Okay, I have 8 sets of dice, six are various forms of pink, including my pepto pink dice, and one set of Bright yellow and black, like a happy face, aptly named the shiny happy dice. I only have the yellow ones cause my ex had them first and they hated him but liked me :D
Siiiigh…Haven’t bought dice in ages.
I saw that there has been a reprint of Blackmoor material for 3.5… But even better, I recently found Dave Arneson’s old home page where he has a scanned image of the original map from Blackmoor and a PDF of the Blackmoor book!!!
:( $0.75 I wish come to Canada they milk us for $150 per or like $8.00 for a set of 1 of each type
OMG – Julia: I just bought some dice @ Dragon’s Lair this weekend!
Wonderduck: You should be careful with that dice. You’re going to think that I’m joking, but roaches really like to eat those dice. I lived in Houston, so most of the folks I know lost their 1st ed dice to the brown menace. Not that I ever owned any. Not me, no way… (ahem)…
I think this is the only time we’ve seen the DM and a player in an agreement that wasn’t forced.
I have a green felt bag which my sweetie sewed gold beads onto in the shape of my initial in Celtic script. I was the ubergeek for the next three sessions.
Re: post 28 — Were these books you’re referring to the dread Arduin Grimoire? They contained perhaps the nastiest critical hit table I’ve ever seen.
And I started playing in 1978.
I am really enjoying this comic!! Only been gamming for 10 years but it so hits home with how players act. I have only bought 3 sets of dice. One set came with the AD&D beginner set that I bought and the other 2 were from chesex so that I had a couple of complete sets. All the other dice that I have came from what I was told was a well honored tradition of older players giving a “lucky” dice or two to a new player. Wasn’t told till later that what that meant was the dice were bad luck to them and so they gave them away to take away the bad luck to give it to the new player lol. Don’t know if it worked for them or not but my dice roll fairly decent all things considered. Until I let a friend use them……then they botch consistently for them lol. And yes I have the crown bag heheh.
I too have a strange addiction to cool dice.
1. I too cannot overlook a store full of dice without buying at least one. It’s an addiction 10 times more powerful than marijuana.
2. I actually bought a kickass set of dice once, and the players kept begging me to show them to them. It was like the opposite of this situation.
I could do 400d6 damage out of my two crown bags. came in handy when we all went on our not to infrequent all night axis, allies (infantry and tanks 1/2 off)and beer binges.
Just reminded me… I need to get a new set of dice… *runs out to buy*
Re: post 38
OMG if you have roaches that can eat *dice* I am flat ***never*** visiting Houston!! I remember seeing dice like those you mention (didn’t play D&D in those days though). Even though they are small, I’m still really creeped out by that. Eeuwww. That is worse even than South Carolina’s fire ants!!! Ack!
BTW I have been playing on and off for 18 years. The last 7 have been with a nearly-20-year-long standing campaign. They still use 1st ed because it would be just too frellin’ complicated to convert it.
As for me personally:
1st ed books (a few): check.
Crown Royal bag: check (I even have the distinction of wearing a hole into one seam).
Crazy collection of dice: so-so. I stopped collecting and did the dastardly deed of organizing them into this little mini tackle box. Except for the **giant** (raquet ball size) d20 I bought at a sci-fi con last month. Oh, no! Now it’s my turn to be Dave!
Strong resemblance to the players in this comic: Ohhh, yeah. See also “Dork Tower” and just about any other fun and well-done spoof on gamers and sci-fi geeks.
You pegged us too well, friend.
Give yourself a pat on the back!
Well I have collected soo many dice over the years, not to mention glass globs for use as counters for VtES.
I find the the Plastic Screw top Kool-Ade containers provide a neat storage container.
Shamus… Keep up the good work!
I’ve never been much of a dice guy. Miniatures on the other hand…I spent way too much money on them. Every once in a while my group actually finds one relevant to the encounter.
Anyway, first time poster, first time reader. Just gotta say I love the comic and I love my dice… though they don’t love me anymore. Although… I don’t usually bring attention to my dice, other people do it for me. (Thus I look like less of a dork.) They are shiny and sparkle though.
P.S. I’m a chick, so it’s cool if I have girly dice. :P
Yeah, I can outdork you, rather my bf can. He has two dice pouches he calls his ‘spell pouches’ because they have the dice for spell damage (buncha d4’s & a buncha d6’s)
You can buy dice for only $0.75 each?!
I got dice in a starter set and use lego for Minis
I have a ridiculous d100…never used it, just have it because it seemed like the coolest thing when I was a lot younger.
I also had the Crown Royal bag. One of my friend’s dad’s drank the stuff and let my friend have them, which he gave to us.
I think I’ve still got a dusty D-ring binder my StarFleet battle rules around here including a ziplock bag full of small, attractive solid-color d6s, and china markers, etc…I always thought it would be fun to combine Star Fleet Battles with the Star Trek RPG but none of my gaming group really wanted to mix the two. I also wanted to bring in Federation & Empire…
Yes, I too have been “Dave”
My character was usually the archer elf/Ranger dude.
Hangin’ back with the magic users and clerics in the back.
Providing the artillery support (arrows).
I only charged into the Melee if the sh*t really hit the fan.
Otherwise, I was happy to let the barbarians up front jump into the meat grinder time and time again.
I cringed when I realized that I might be able to out geek on the dice.
1st edition rules (complete with the dice that you had to use a crayon on to see the numbers): Check
Crown Royal bag: One large and one from a ‘sample/travel’ sized bottle – check
Crazy collection of dice: Everything from the aforementioned crayon-marked dice to complete sets for D&D, White Wolf, and WarHammer 40 to loose random buys and gives because they looked cool – check
Buying my then new baby her first set of dice at the grand age of 8 months – check (Two of them to be precise
*Fully Functional* *stuffed* fuzzy dice-a D20 and a d12 about the size of an adult fist)
You know you game too much when a 8 yr old can rules lawyer the game while watching cartoons.
Never really understood ppls fixation with dice. Only good thing coming from that habit is that I never have to buy own dice as everyone else brings their numerous dice to game and I just borrow those I need.
And whaddaya know one guy even gave me few of his dice to keep so I wouldn’t have to borrow…
The dice problem is especially dangerous when they are copper “dwarven metal” dice that come in a shiny leather bag.
You can never have enough dice. I know.. I know ALL too well.
“Frosted Emerald Translucent Luminous Gem Dice”
I have to know if such a thing exists. Does anyone know where to find them? I honestly don’t think I my soul can rest until I’ve aquired them.
Just had to leave a few more comments, mainly because the comments are often nearly as good as the comics:
1) Where were all these WOMEN gamers in TX when I played regularly…?
2) Anyone who still has their copy of Chainmail… there’s your +2 Awesomeness….
3) “Dovyenda” is easily the most “naturally… ” SN I’ve seen since I stumbled in here (even better than my own, despite being Old Tongue rather than Quenya. )
Mmm, I’m still addicted to dice. I’m trying to get a different one for each kind of roll I have to make (warlock: one for eldritch blast, one for attacks, one for skill checks, etc).
I have a small box of dice called “Mo-ef-e’. It’s covered in masking tape and has been keeping my dice safe for more than 30 years. I have a white twenty-sided that came with the original box game. It’s pretty much round now….
How did I let this comic stay off of my radar for so long? As Addy said, first time poster, first time reader.
Anywho, I have to admit, the die thing? Totally guilty of that, though I don’t think I’m as bad as Dave. I hope. But I’ve been playing for only about three years and own over 300 dice, most of them hand picked out separately (from those lovely individual die bins), not in sets, as that would require an even more ridiculous amount. Many of them useless in an actual campaign.
(Yeah, yeah…100 dice to a year…in my defence, I do play about 6 different campaigns a week during the semester [those are generally actually very character driven, though the LG I do in the summer? Means I totally get this comic], and as I’ve played GURPS, Shadowrun, Mage, and other bucket o’ dice games, sometimes I actually need them.)
Also, I like pretty metalic colors and swirls. I see a shiny swirly die pattern I don’t have, or one that looks neat, I need it. But, hey, I’m allowed to want pretty things. Female player here.
Wow…didn’t mean that to be so long. Time to get back reading this excellent strip.
Happened upon this a few weeks ago (google search for Tim images). I haven’t played in YEARS. Played original, no stinking version number for me. Even though haven’t played in years, still have my dice and my mini’s.
I HAVE THOSE DICE!!!
>.< not a good comic for me, I cant get my hands on die very easily, and my stupid 20 year old older brother ate 3 for a dare a few weeks ago!
the worst thing is he complained it was hard to chew! I mean my god! I lost another one after he tried to put the others up his nose! safe to say I emptied the cat litter in his bed
Hehe dice.. I have two sets… one that’s mine, and another set which I consider ‘looted from a evil troll’ (my ex left them behind when I broke up with him roflmao). My own set live in my bag, and nerdy as it is, when I have to decide something, instead of flipping a coin I roll a dice lol. People often look at me funny :D
I think im due for another set though… mine are being wierd now… our last few sessions have been ‘epic battles of incompetent fools’ where everyone, including the enemies, roll bad… and the rogue only rolls good when there’s noone to see what she’s doing….
Ah, annoying, aging, Gandelf. I mean, Gandalf.
In panel 10, Dave should say, “Well, did I show you…”
And then in panel 11… “This?” *CLICK!*
I’d prefer that, honestly.
I’ve also noticed how in panel 11, the speech bubble’s pointing to Frodo’s off-panel face, instead of panel 10 Frodo, like you usually do.
Oh, contemplating my old dice gives me pains… My ex-wife took issue at one point with the number of bankers boxes I had in the spare bedroom (where else would one keep that much AD&D stuff, the Dragon magazines, the Top Secret stuff, and all of the Car and Driver magazines?!?)
One extreme fit on her part later, I’m walking the boxes of old Car and Driver magazines out to the dumpster at our apartment complex, as it starts to rain. She starts to feel rightly bad for having acted the way she did, and asks if I want to retrieve the magazines… from the bottom of a water-logged dumpster. I say no…
Only problem, one of the boxes also had ten-plus years worth of dice… and the majority of the modules I had collected over the years… Didn’t realize it for weeks, long after the dumpster had been emptied… Still have nightmares about throwing away that many dice and modules… Shiver…
I bought 3d20 today at 2 bucks a pop. That’s Australian dollars, but still.
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! THEY WERE TRANSLUCENT!
All hail The Dice God!!
“…and an orange set for chaos…” Wouldn’t a dice set for chaos be multi-colored?
I only have a single d20 myself used for M:tG… for three games until everyone graduated. Now I just roll it for random decisions.
Also, the people talking about d3? http://www.bearcubmachine.com/gallery/albums/dice/D3toD15.jpg
don’t feel bad. I have three 2.5 gallon containers of D&D dice myself.
For the record… I have 4 one-gallon Crown Royal bags bursting with dice… hundreds and hundreds of ’em… I need to attend Diceaholics Anonymous, seriously… Don’t worry about the 4 gallons of Crown… I made sure not to waste any… you guys got me on the start date though… born in ’79… started with 2nd ED…
Some advice for the tenth and eleventh panels:
10: “Well, did I show you…”
11: Click! “This? Glow in the dark, punks!”
I think that would work much more nicely. Other than that, fantastic job. I can’t connect to it firsthand, but my dad does have a huge bag of dice he is very protective of.
EDIT: Just realized how hard it would be to follow my advice. So don’t take it to heart.
three items: 1) while a 16 sided (or any number of even sides greater than 2) barrel type die can be made [ we had a player with a d20 barrel type we called the butt plug] you cannot make a regular polygon with 16 sides… compare a d10 to a d4… you’ll notice the d10 is not a regular polygon (all sides having the same number of edges all of the same length, and the same number of angles all of the same length). the d4, d6, d8, d12 and d20 are regular polygons, and the only ones possible.
2) for dice obsession, we have so many dice in our group that we run mass battles with the dice as markers… the DM numbers the combatants as red1, red2, green1, green2, etc and the corresponding color of die with that face at the top is used to mark the combatant (different die size is used for each monster type)
3) we have gotten old to the point that we present the wives of our members with a d20 at their wedding… the poor woman deserves someting in return for all of the time we will be stealing their husband away for gaming :)
Oh..I am way beyond being Dave. I’m Double Dave…Double Dog Dave…I’m Double Down Dog Dave. Forget little Crown Royal Bags…forget the “I bought 2 sets last week” comments. Until you have 4 giant rubbermaid containers full of approximately 4500 dice and collected for more than 35 years you can only claim the title of being “Dave” like.
Here’s what I have done. You know those dice you have worn the edges off of? You know the low impact dice which have seen to many impacts…You know those dice in that corner of your tackle box which are starting to shrink and are 2 orphans from a 5 dice set? Well I have started a retirement home for them…yeh…true story.
When the wife finally tells you it’s the dice or her and you chose her(for reasons far beyond my capability to comprehend) and you need a good place to retire your dice…I’m your guy. I have a whole section of my dice collection devoted to old played dice. I call it the “DM Collection”. Here your dice can happily live out the later years of their lives with other dice from all around the world and share stories of the adventures they have had. I treat them with the same loving respect you have given them over the years and thereby give you the comfort of knowing you have given your loved ones the very finest care available.
You might think I am kidding…Proof is in the pudding.
So, for anyone seriously considering Diceaholics Anonymous…I’m you man. I will help you become dice free instantaneously. And I promise you will always be able to log on late at night when no one is watching and visit them. Just don’t get caught looking it’s worse then being busted looking at porn.
I’m rereading these, because they rock so much, and something I saw recently…
Most dice are seriously biased.
If you want a d6 that actually has an even chance of each side coming up, you need to get properly manufactured Vegas dice, and they cost like $2 each, minimum.
Making even dice is quite tricky.
I find it highly doubtful that it’s as bad as you make out. Also, it seems to me that Vegas dice are more likely to be expensive due to the cost of certifying that they are fair rather than the cost of manufacturing them to be fair. You run a casino, you have to be able to prove that your dice are fair, not an issue for most gamers…
I once got dice for $1 each. Infact I bought 7 until I relized I can buy the same kind of dice at the same store for $0.25. I seriously got duped.
everybody on this thread rocks, just for reading this.
Wait a minute, Dave – sorry, Frodo – has been slogging through Moria for weeks and he waits until he’s finally out in the daylight to show off his GLOW-IN-THE-FRAKKING-DARK dice!
You can turn on the dark, but you can’t turn off the stupid.
$0.75 each is cheap, me, I went to Paladin and bought these really nice “Red and White Hand-carved Elven Dice” for $16
omg so light headed from laughing feel like passing out lols
oooooooooooooo o. O
nicccccce diccce precioussssssssssssssssssssss
An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who was doing a little
homework on this. And he in fact ordered me lunch because I found it for him…
lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU
for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to discuss this topic here on your blog.
“I’m gonna miss that guy like a toothache.” Perfect stillframe. Love it.
There is a messed up character encoding in the comments.
Bon appétit should be Bon appétit
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