T w e n t y S i d e d

Short post this week, because I’m sick. Most of the house is sick, actually. This is a rural, farming area, and this time of year the temperature is fluctuating between the 60’s and the 90’s, there is a constant cloud of fine dust in the air, and drifting mildly-carcinogenic chemicals. Because people in this area would rather pay the price in health for the lowest expenses and highest profit-margins, it’s probably not going to change until the constantly decreasing water supply, underlying Dust Bowl 2 conditions, and steadily increasing earthquakes render the region unproductive, if not absolutely unlivable. I was going to write about movies that have a bad reputation that I think are actually quite good. I’m not talking about “so bad it’s good” like The Room or Battlefield Earth, or generally enjoyable for what they are B-movies or micro-budget Corman successes. I mean movies that zigged when they were supposed to zag, and so were dismissed. Movies that failed to meet expectations and were forgotten. I got the list up to two, and had developed arguments for both (in my head), then as I searched for a third movie to do, I forgot what the first movie was. Somehow, it just completely escaped my mind. The second film was M. Night Shayamalan’s The Village which was set up by expectations from Shayamalan’s previous movies to the extent that people, I think, failed to view it from different perspectives. It actually has some pretty deep narratives and implications (and a really cute love story) if you just adjust your perspective a bit. BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THE FIRST MOVIE WAS, and now I’m short-circuited.

There is a trend in fast food burgers going on, at least as far as I can tell from two different available burger restaurants. I didn’t realize it might be a trend until last week, when I ate at Jack In The Box for the first time in quite a while. Jack In The Box has been a personal favorite for quite a while, due almost entirely to the Sourdough Jack burger. The curly fries are good, too; but you can get those at a lot of places. They also had a Sourdough Chicken, which didn’t work quite as well but was fine. Several years ago JITB adopted a slate of other burgers under the appellation “Jack” burgers. You know, Double Jack, Bacon Jack, Ultimate Jack; so on. This was tweaked with a subsection of “Buttery Jack” burgers which used a variant bun. They stuck with this menu for quite a while, framing it as a kind-of “boutique burger” selection; a marketing strategy that was super-hot for a few years. McDonald’s has tried it multiple times. The menu was weak on chicken sandwich offerings, so about a year or so ago if I remember correctly they implemented a few “boutique chicken sandwich” offerings, mirroring similar products by other fast food restaurants. And then at some point in the last few months, they re-did the burger menu, dropping most of the Jack burger menu they had been using for a while.

The Sourdough Jack, plus a couple of held-over burgers like the Swiss Mushroom Buttery Jack and the Ultimate Jack, now called the Ultimate Cheeseburger, had their prices raised significantly. A new burger range was introduced called “Bonus Jack” burgers. These are smaller, cheaper burgers…which is to say they are smaller than JITB burgers have been, which aren’t huge in the first place. And by cheaper, I mean they cost how much JITB burgers used to cost. You may note the smaller, traditional-grease-burger-looking hamburger patties, and the “special sauce.” You can see it oozing out, and it probably looks familiar. It should, because it’s seasoned Thousand Island dressing. This reminded me of the new burger range being offered at Sonic: the “Smashed” burgers, also known as “Smashers:”

You may note the smaller, traditional-grease-burger-looking hamburger patties, and the “special sauce.” You get three guesses what the Special Sauce is, and the second two guesses don’t count. These burgers *do* follow the introduction of Sonic’s new “Groovy”fries (Ore Ida frozen crinkle fries) and the new “Groovy” Sauce. Which, you know, *is* the Special Sauce for the burgers.

*To be fair,* I’m not aware of anyone else doing a similar thing. Arby’s has actually adopted a burger line (burgers, not Roast Beef Sandwiches) that seem to be a cross between Freddy’s and Burger King back when they tried making everything a variation on the Rodeo Burger:

Five Guys already makes this “traditional” type of burger, although I should point out like many fast-casual restaurants, cost-cutting has led them to decrease sizes and quantity-of-food. They also aren’t doing Thousand Island-based sauces. Whataburger, notably, is still doing their own thing. Like Burger King, they are rotating in limited time sandwiches. They have offered a frankly-delicious Buffalo Chicken(strip) Sandwich for the last few months, and just started offering a “Bacon Blaze Jalapeno Double” Whataburger:

In fact, BK has recently introduced it’s own hot-n-spicy sandwiches for the season: the Fiery Bacon Whopper and the Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken sandwich.

I’ve tried both…the Whopper isn’t all that good but the chicken is; much better flavor profile. I’m sure I had mentioned previously that one of Burger King’s long-time failings was its chicken menu in general. Their venerable “classic” chicken sandwich, a 6″ sub with two frozen chicken patties, invariably tasted burned. This problem was shared with many of their chicken offerings, frankly. They just couldn’t do chicken right. About two and half years ago, I think, they first introduce the “Royal” chicken sandwiches, which seem to have finally licked the problem. The Royals are at least on par with McDonald’s old Buttermilk and current McCrispy sandwiches, and Whataburger’s Whatachicken. The occasional limited edition can even match higher-quality boutique and specialty chicken restaurants.

OK, guys. Sorry for the short one but I am, like I said, sick and focused on other things. Talking about burgers didn’t actually help, either. Have a good one, and see you next week!

Paige Francis He/him