
Ask any fighter: A hammer is just a really heavy set of lockpicks.
– Shamus, Monday Oct 23, 2006
Yup! And Fire Bolt is just a really fire-y set of lockpicks!
Skyrim Thieves Guild

The Thieves Guild quest in Skyrim is a vortex of disjointed plot-holes, contrivances, and nonsense.
Object-Disoriented Programming

C++ is a wonderful language for making horrible code.
The Best of 2014

My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2014.
The Best of 2019

I called 2019 "The Year of corporate Dystopia". Here is a list of the games I thought were interesting or worth talking about that year.
A Lack of Vision and Leadership

People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
I heard a story from a friend once that he knew a barbarian who loved bashing open chests. So he trapped one with a carnivorous plant, and put a major potion of strength and a major potion of vitality in there. Bashing open the chest shattered the potions all over the plant. Carnage.
I had a 5e Barbarian once who heard there was a locked door in the way, charged across the room with axe in hand… Then stopped right in front of the door, popped some lock picks out of a hidden compartment in the axe handle, and delicately opened the lock. 5e made it much easier to pick up lock picking on other classes.
It was my cleric who used the war pick as a lock pick. The war pick was also called “diplomacy”. We solved lots of problems with diplomacy.
“We don’t use Scrolls and Gold don’t burn!”
French translation available here: https://dmoftheringsfr.blogspot.com/2023/05/le-hobbit-et-le-temple-du-boom.html
An adamantine weapon is the best lockpick you can get. It bypasses hardness, so you can easily cut through nonmagical locks… or doors… or walls.
Yeah, the whole “bypass hardness” thing means that an adamantine weapon cuts/breaks through stone and steel as if they were cheese. Literally as easily as cutting cheese.
When you get your hands on something like that, its had *not* to just brute force through every obstacle.
I’ve seen a Warforged with adamantine fists try punching all the architecture in the Tomb of Horrors. It went better than it had any right to.
The Lara-Laura Croft dichotomy is crazy. Lara spelling in England sounds somewhat like Laura spelling in US, and the Lara spelling in US sounds somewhat like Laura in England. And changing a name spelling to more familiar ones seems likely when moving characters across the world, especially given that US media seems to have a history of talking down to its audience (Blade Runner voiceover etc.) in localisations. So no one knows what is going on!
“Lara Croft”
“no it’s not Laura, it’s Lara”
“oh so it’s actually Laura?”
“yes”
“ah I thought I’d seen it spelt as Lara, so it’s actually L-a-u-r-a?”
“no!!! It’s L-a-r-a!”
“so it IS Laura then!!”