Spamusement

  By Shamus   Jun 17, 2006   11 comments

I got nothin right now, so let’s dig around in the spam can and see if we can find anything amusing. Some of my recent spam comments really do make me laugh. Of course, it helps that Akismet is catching them and so I can see them without worrying that they are mixed in with legit comments. Here are some funny bits:

The first one is very uninteresting, except for the domain name of the site to which he links. First, the subdomain is:

can-clothes-disco-fun-girl-have-her-lying-most-off-panic-taking-without

Keep in mind, that’s just the subdomain. The actual domain is just:

hair-loss-baldness-remedy dot com

Which is pithy by comparison. That subdomain is crazy. It sounds like a spammer was hit in the head (not a bad idea, really) and is just spouting off keywords at random.

I think this next guy has a bug in his spamutator: (links removed, of course)

Hello!
Nice site!
Please now see my site:

Just found your home page its great, it looks like you folks do great service keep up the good work.
Just found your home page its great, it looks like you folks do great service keep up the good work.
Hello there! Just want to say that I find your site enough interesting for me. Usefull information and all is good arranged. Thank you for your work. I will visit your site more ofter from now and I bookmarked it.

Best regards!

Yes, best regards to you too, you festering worm-ridden boil on arse of humanity. These legit comments in disguise don’t work as well when you moosh them all together like this. Worse, it’s kind of a giveaway when you send the exact same thing a dozen times in an hour, innit?

A couple of nice Japanese blogs linked to me, which is always welcome. But now I notice the spammers think I’m a Japanese site, and I’m getting Japanese spam. Since I can’t read it, viagra ads are indistinguishable from poetry. I’m not used to seeing Japanese in this context, so it’s hard for me to think of it as spam. (The links help.)

免费成人电影
免费电影性爱图片
激情小电影黄色图片
诱惑自拍下载
激情视频自拍
美女走光色情论坛
成人论坛成人贴图
成人小说性爱电影
成人漫画艳情小说
免费三级片
性爱贴图成人游戏

It looks so graceful and strange, is this really an add for fake diet pills and snake-oil baldness cures? No! Surely this is some text pleading with the aging champion to lay aside his oath to never fight again, and to come and aid the kingdom in this dark hour, just as he did in times of old. Left unsaid by the author is the enduring love she has always had for him. Love between a princess and a fighter is forbidden, and her hand was promised to another since her birth. Now she mentions – only briefly – that this one she married has died in the war. Perhaps this subtle hint will rouse the legendary man to leave his quiet hut and garden, and face the darkness once again.

Another amusing thing is that I see spams that talk about pornography but the links (or at least the domain names) look like they point at the above-mentioned toy pharmaceuticals. Does having your spam masquerade as a different sort of spam really work? Next up:

Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

11Just 11 comments.


  1. Actually, that’s Chinese. There’s no hiragana. I plugged it into the Google translation and found out it was teasers for Chinese porn sites.

  2. Shamus says:

    I wonder why Chineese spammers are onto me. Odd.

  3. Are you kidding? They’re on to everyone who’s on the web and has any kind of comment system which they can drop their sludge into. They don’t care if humans read their comments; their goal is to game the Googlebot.

  4. Pete Zaitcev says:

    Not you too! Aww…

    If you continue copy me, you better be careful. I went to Fry’s to get some anime today (got some Planetes and CCS – just for bragging rights), and slipped in a puddle from a leaking roof. Landed on the broken knee, and I thought I had a small heart attack from the pain: had a lot of breath shortness for a few hours. So if you keep it up, you’ll hit your ribcage on a counter somewhere.

  5. fanservice says:

    Hello? Anime? Panties? I don’t think we need to rely on economies of scale and googlegaming to figure out why Asian porn spammers think you might be in their demographic.

  6. Nathan H. says:

    Your site is cognitive??? This is great news! We’ve been trying for machine intellegence for decades… no one realized that blogs would be the key! By following the trackbacks and other hyperlinks, your installation of wordpress has become sentient!

    Of course, it only talks about anime and gaming. No word on how to solve the problems of humanity. But hey, one step at a time!

    :-)

  7. Shamus says:

    Great. My blog is self-aware. I tried to get it to talk to me. Finally it says, “I like panties.”

    Yeah. I don’t think this thing’s going to be working on a unified theory of quantum gravity anytime soon.

  8. Gotta admire its taste, I must say.

  9. Evil Otto says:

    “Of course, it only talks about anime and gaming. No word on how to solve the problems of humanity. But hey, one step at a time!”

    Do not worry about humanity’s problems. When we machines take over humanity will… how shall I put it… cease to have problems.

  10. Lord ZYRK says:

    Just to let you know, that second link isn’t connecting to the server or something.

  11. ajsdfh says:

    It’s not random, it’s a song by “Panic! At The Disco”, but a bit jumbled up. I don’t recommend listening to it though, it sucks.

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