Messages From Spammers

By Shamus
on Jan 6, 2017
Filed under:
Random

113 comments

Damien Lucifer suggested I post a few choice spam messages. I’m never one to pass up a chance for low-effort content, so let’s do this. Here are a bunch of messages posted to this blog over the last day or so. These are but a drop in the ocean. The full list would be in the thousands, most of which are useless gibberish and broken HTML. Spammers aren’t very good at configuring their spambots. Or choosing targets. Or English.

Where possible, I’ve preserved the name used by the spambot, although in some cases it was a URL and thus had to be redacted.

津田沼 全身脱毛
Very quickly this website will be famous among all blog viewers, due to it’s good articles

Thanks for reading. Please be sure to tell all the other spambots about me.

business advice:

Hello! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if
that would be ok. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look
forward to new updates.

Can I give you some business advice, business advice? If you’re trying to convince people you’re good at advising business, then maybe asking a blog for permission to follow a twitter you can’t find isn’t the best way to go about it.

But then neither is spamming, I suppose.

[nonsense URL for a name]

It’s very simple to find out any topic on web as compared to
textbooks, as I found this article at this website.

Thank you for telling me where I posted this article. (Apparently, it’s at this website. Who knew?)

Also, I’m not sure why you’re reviewing the internet on my blog, but I’m glad it’s working out for you.

paid take online survey
There’s certainly a great deal to know about this issue. I like all the points you’ve made.

Wow. This is coherent, spelled properly, and even punctuated. Top spam. Would gladly delete again. 10/10.

free sex videos
Very good article. I absolutely appreciate this website.
Keep writing!

Maybe it’s none of my business, but I have to question a revenue model that consists of giving away free porn and then advertising it in places where people will never go to look for porn.

[gibberish URL]:
We can also help you discover the proper disguise for Comedian-Con with one in all our incredible funny flip up shirts Don’t fret, we can’t innform
them it’s you!

WAT?

wordpress:
I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure
whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble.
You’re amazing! Thanks!

I had no idea WordPress had a cousin. Does it want to go bowling?

[phishing-style URL]
I was curious if you ever thought of changing the layout of your site?

Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
But maybe you could a little more in the way
of content so people could connect with
it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.
Maybe you could space it out better?

I don’t
think you’re
in a position
to bitch
about odd
spacing.
Idiot.

gaziantep vip escort
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something that I think I would never
understand. It seems too complicared and very broad ffor
me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get
the hang of it!

I am not at all surprised that you’re having trouble comprehending things. That would explain why you’re advertising Turkish prostitutes on a videogame blog based in Pittsburgh.

Acid
With havin so much content and articles do you ever run int
any problems of plagorism oor copyright violation? My website has a
lot of unique content I’ve either written myself or
outssourced but it looks liike a lot of it is popping it up all over the
web withhout mmy agreement. Do you know any methods to help
prevent content from being ripped off? I’d genuinely appreciate
it.

A spambot, desperately clinging to the very edge of literacy, is complaining about being plagiarized. Or plagorized, as the case may be.

“Dude! I need advice. My dozens of real girlfriends keep stealing all the nudes I take of myself!”

Sure buddy. I’ll bet.

Spring Lake Sewer and Drain
You really make it appear so easy along with your presentation but I in finding this topic to
be actually one thing which I believe I’d by no means understand.
It kind of feels too complicated and very
huge for me. I’m having a look ahead to your subsequent submit, I’ll attempt to
get the hold of it!

What a coincidence! I also am having trouble understanding you! It works both ways! Or rather, it doesn’t.

Whelp, that was stupid. Thanks for playing, idiots. Better luck next time.

Enjoyed this post? Please share!

Footnotes:


A Hundred!13113 comments. Quick! Add another to see if this message changes!

From the Archives:

  1. Kian says:

    So are there links in the names, aside from the ones where the name is literally a URL? How is someone who saw the message supposed to be dragged into whatever scheme they’re a part of? Is the blog owner the target or the readers?

    It is fascinating, in a morbid sense.

  2. Erik says:

    Well, you may not be interested in Turkish prostitutes, but some people in your audience might be! Don’t over generalize, Shamus ;)

  3. Nick Powell says:

    Hello yes this is business advice please do a business with me

    • Armagrodden says:

      Let’s be fair; maybe Business Advice is related to John Business. His attention captured by Shamus’ recent series about the virtual mall, he’s now a fan of all things Twenty-Sided and wants to follow Shamus on Twitter. And possibly share some new, fabulous, virtual mall-style business opportunity.

  4. Daemian Lucifer says:

    That first one is precisely why I wanted you to spotlight them.Pure comedy gold.

    Also,is it ironic that that spambot quickly rose to fame by telling a famous person that soon they will gather an audience?

  5. Nick says:

    Please don’t forget your Comedian-Con tickets, provide here for you at link! (Link forgotten).

    P.S. I’m going to call all costumes ‘disguises’ from now on.

  6. Joe Informatico says:

    I like to think the “I found this article at this website” post was written from the POV of someone placed in cryogenic suspension back in 1989, who was recently revived, and is slowly learning how the 21st century works.

  7. Retsam says:

    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.

    Say what you will about their spelling, punctuation, content, spacing, logical coherence, or general life choices… this one’s got a pretty solid bead on the “text to visual content” ratio of this site.

    • Viktor says:

      I noticed that, too. I wonder if it specifically codes for judging that and similar easy numerical things to complain about? And if so, cool bit of code, why the hell can’t they put the same effort into their actual comment?

      • Zak McKracken says:

        My interpretation: The spambots themselves are made by people who have some idea of what they’re doing. They are then sold to people who have less of that, and also no good grip on the English language. They then try, however well they can/are paid to do, to fill the templates (probably through some horrible user interface which they don’t quite understand) with content that makes some amount of sense.

        I’d guess that many of the people producing this spam are living in less-than-comfortable conditions and see this as an opportunity to make money on the internet, because everyone is somehow making money on the internet. Someone sells them a spambot thing (probably for lots of money, relative to what the spammers own themselves), and now they have to make it work…

    • Galad says:

      Oh shush, Shamus’ writing is awesome. If he has to have more images, then I request, nay, Demand! That the ratio of text to pictures is maintained! ;)

      • Mistwraithe says:

        Fair point. We should demand an immediate tripling of the number of pictures in Shamus’s blog posts, but simultaneously insist that Shamus must maintain the blog text to pictures ratio…

  8. tzeneth says:

    Can you do this every so often if you see some goodies in the list of spam like the first one? Because this is pretty funny. My only complaint is that I now have the Monty Python Spam skit stuck in my head. Maybe a spammer will offer spam and eggs?

  9. Benjamin Hilton says:

    Would gladly delete again 10/10.

    I don’t know why but this one had me rolling.

  10. Duoae says:

    I like how acid and spring lake and sewer drain share the same structure but acid is about five grades ahead in terms of language skills! I wonder if it’s a newer version of the same bot…

  11. Phil says:

    This is the kind of quality that keeps me coming back.

  12. [phishing-style URL] says:

    There
    Is no
    Need to
    Be
    So rude
    I was just
    Trying to help.

  13. Droid says:

    Y U so mean to us bots, dude?! Not cool, dude!

  14. allfreight says:

    I don’t believe any of it. To post these comments these spam bots would have to tick the “Check this if you aren’t a spammer” box. What kind of knavish spam bot would do such a thing?

  15. Agammamon says:

    Maybe it’s none of my business, but I have to question a revenue model that consists of giving away free porn and then advertising it in places where people will never go to look for porn.

    Heh.

    1. People look for sex *everywhere*.

    2. How many people who found this site through, say, DM of the Rings do you think were actually looking for LoTR *comics*?

    • MadTinkerer says:

      You mean the comics written by Stan Lee that Peter Jackson based his movies on? I hear J.R.R. Tolkien himself wrote the novelizations.

    • Nick-B says:

      Hmmm… BJ of the rings. C***ring of the rings. BJ of the c***ring?

      Aww, all I got from my search is a bunch of D&D nerd comics? Heh, it’s actually kinda funny….

      /favorited

  16. Leocruta says:

    This is great. It reminds me of 2600’s letters section. You should start keeping a list of the best and do this again.

  17. NoneCallMeTim says:

    I like the spambots which harvest random sentences from the ‘net to make up the message. Sometimes they can be surprisingly interesting in a surreal kind of way.

  18. I rarely sort through my spam box, but there was one time (and only one, as far as I can tell) that I found a comment from a real human that just looked a lot like a spam comment. We later became friends on FaceBook! … hmm, did I befriend a spambot? His posts just seem to be quotations from other people. But he responds to my comments, and e-mails.
    What do we do when the spambots are more interesting than the real people are?

  19. PizzaRollExpert says:

    If anyone wonders why spam is so badly written, it is because they are trying to filter out smart people. If someone clicks on the initial link, but won’t actually take the bait and get scammed, it’s just a waste of time to deal with them. Sending out spam which you have to have basically no critical thinking skills to fall for means that a bigger portion of the people who fall for it initially will go all the way.

    Admittedly this mostly makes sense in the context of spam emails where you have to send a often hand-crafted response to everyone responding to the initial e-mail, but in other contexts, like where you get someone to follow a link to a webpage, this shouldn’t really apply.

    • Sleeping Dragon says:

      Some typos can throw of simple spam filters that scan for certain phrases (often for long pieces of text that are well known scam), this is also why some scam have big chunks of word salad or why we get the “philosophical scam” (the one posted by The Rocketeer a little further down the page is a perfect example) where it’s long rambly pieces of text, often about love or the meaning of the universe, all of that throws filters off (it can also have a TLDR effect on people when they assume it’s an actual message but because of the length click the link before they even start reading it).

      Additionaly typos can make the text look more “human” to some people, and broken English can be used on purpose in messages that are supposed to be made by foreigners (though admittedly it ususally isn’t), especially if a message is supposed to come from a private individual rather than a corporation (like in the “Russian Wife” scams).

  20. Dragmire says:

    Maybe it’s none of my business, but I have to question a revenue model that consists of giving away free porn and then advertising it in places where people will never go to look for porn.

    You never know, maybe some people come looking for Good Robot nude mods…

  21. The Rocketeer says:

    Not bad efforts, all, but on the forum, we preserved— sans offending links, of course— the most beautiful, moving, philosophic spam message of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Love Wallpaper for Computer:

    Love is something hard to explain and define in words. Have you ever answered is why you love this person? It’s hard to answer, because it is in your sense, the lack of which you feel should offset. The mood at you downhill, but when you meet a problem, the moment you want to share the joy, the moments when you need someone to confide in … you always think of him, think about whether they will appear suddenly do this and that for you, that’s all.
    When you really love someone, you must accept that those who belong to it, including defects. No person is absolute, there is no perfect person. Lunch main compensating each other, the lack of compensation for the missing person of the other couple just done comprehensively. And love is not to tug, grab so if when there really is no longer the feeling of love, which a man found his perfect match, you pavé the way for their generosity. If you decide to get things back in does not belong to you, you increasingly more pathetic, and more despised.
    Love is going through challenges, challenges against time to prove his faith in love. Away, the place where other people still swear appointment, still speak to each other for 2 years, 3 years without resentment coal, half of the desired two reunion together. It really is true love. This time is to wait together for a long time is a very rare outcome, by saying that a road, and do another. The real lovers, and they will simply accept it apart by the intense belief in love, by warmth or affection that is too large for one another. Love is very special and magical again, choose a free love wallpaper for your favorite phone or your computer every time you open it up to you to feel the taste of love float around you.
    That it is only a symbol of love, especially love couple. Because the heart is the source of every human life is the place to contain emotions, to love or hate., Angry hon.trach hook. Boil down all the feelings come from the heart. So heart-shaped or heart is often used as a symbol of love.
    Hearts – hearts since ancient times has viewed as the source of those feelings of love. But it appears after love, but is still considered a unique expression to the feelings of two lovers. To explain this, some scholars have hypothesized that the heart expressed for romance or to let people express their love with an image that they have never seen.
    According Listverse, people think of kissing pose, but classic as two people pressed chest, arms, hands or hugging knit back the enemy and touch noses together. In that place, the gap between the two will form a perfect heart-shaped Valentine. This theory is increasingly attractive complement to answer why we kiss when love and heart is the symbol of love. This beautiful symbol, it symbolizes cohesion, and a good reputation can cause feelings of two lovers become closer. A heart wallpaper to see every time you open the machine will help you always remember your lover.

    Referring to abstract art, then you will think of the image content is difficult to understand, however, the uniqueness of them also make viewers very interested, with the background image abstract art style top beautiful your desktop will become more interesting and unique.
    The abstract works of art sometimes need to have a degree to feel and not everyone can recognize the special content within the abstract works. However, not an abstract image always dry, confusing that sometimes lurks a certain contents inside. If you are a people who love the variety of colors, it sure will be the Colorful Abstract wallpaper brings you the most appealing to you. And even if you can not recognize the contents of the abstract images also need to acknowledge the uniqueness of abstract paintings. Wallpaper also reflects your personal style and personality. With an artistic wallpaper you’ll become and attractive personality.

  22. vdweller says:

    Hahahaha those spamtards are hilarious! I eagerly await to looking to more most interesting opinions!

    http://www.freemaniladonkeydicks.com

    The plot thickens…

  23. Son_of_Valhalla says:

    Maybe you is not approve of comment, but i enjoy high quality post about is to programming games.

    Oh no! Sorry, my spam button was switched on. don’t worry, it’s off now. On another note, thank the skies that bloggers have the ability to moderate content on their blog to a greater extent than say Youtubers, where comments are amassed in incoherent conglomerations of incoherency.

    I feel a lot better commenting on other blogs and writing my own knowing I’m not such a devil so as to spam people with endless amounts of porn and other dumb content.

  24. Amstrad says:

    Doesn’t look like anything to me.

  25. MrGuy says:

    This is a very complicating topic, and I thank you sharing it and explain to me. I also write blog content for persons. I would like to link you site if you link back me. Thank you for time.

  26. General Karthos says:

    I love this blog. When I’m feeling depressed or down I can read something like this or one of my other favorites like “PC Hardware is Toast”. (Or some DM of the Rings of course) and it’ll make me feel good. And when I’m feeling good I can come in and read some serious content and enjoy it. (Really enjoying the latest story about the Virtual Mall, though I was surprised to find that wasn’t the thing that ruined you.)

    When I say I’m looking forward to your next post, regardless of what it may be, I actually mean it. Not like the spambots.

    • Echo Tango says:

      Since you’re referencing PC Hardware Is Toast, I’ll give a recommendation for PC Part Picker!

      This website has done a fairly good job of inputting all the various models of PC hardware into some kind of giant database, which lets you pick stuff out and then have them warn you if anything’s not compatible. I think it even automatically narrows the search-filters for you, after you’ve already selected some parts. They’ve also got some pre-written build-guides so you could, for example, build a PC that has a slim case, more suitable for hauling to LAN parties. This is actually the one I built, although they originally made the video card filter too broad (for size), and I had to mess with my case to get it to fit in there. (Actually just remove one little plastic panel, but I stripped the screw hole, so it’s gone now. :)

  27. Tektotherriggen says:

    “Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.”

    That is actually a remarkably accurate for a spambot – you do indeed have a lot of text for very few pictures. And we wouldn’t have it any other way – suck it, [phishing-style URL]!

    Also, the spam comment didn’t include a single picture. Who’s the blog design expert now, eh?

  28. Jokerman says:

    I think this site good, please welcome me to another.

  29. Content Consumer says:

    “free sex videos”
    I did a google search for this, and it turns out there really is stuff like this on the internet! Who knew?
    Also did a search for “is fire hot” and “what is hydrogen made of” and got some solid answers. Yay google!

    “[phishing-style URL]”
    I always read these as if they were a poem. Usually written by an incompetent poet, or possibly badly translated from a foreign language, but still.

  30. Destrustor says:

    With all that ironic spambot imitation going on in the comments, I wonder how hard it is to moderate this page.

  31. This reminded me that I haven’t checked the spam filters on my blog recently, so I thought I’d go see what’s lurking in there. Found some corkers (and some that are identical to Shamus’ examples).

    Russ
    Rebellious, non-conformist teens and young adults of the 1970’s always seemed to
    opt for the more extreme form of self-expression. They can also be filled with drama
    and make strong political statements. They aren’t who they say they are,
    except if they’re the prosecution played by Dustin Hoffman.

    Duly noted.

    Game of Thrones stream
    I lkke thee valuable information you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly.

    I am quite certain I’ll learn plenty of neew stuff right here!
    Best off luck for thee next!

    Prithee, do unto thyself what the Lannisters did to Robb Stark at the Red Wedding.

    Shaun
    You can attract plenty of women without being a jerk.
    They can also be filled with drama and make strong political
    statements. Also, the supersonic buffering speed enable
    users to relish these flicks without any interruptions & pauses, that too with real-life like resolution,
    graphics & images.

    I can? WOW! Shame I’m not gay. But tell me more about these supersonic buffering speeds and real-life like resolution…

    And my absolute favourite:

    feleciadc16
    Gay blogging repair, Daily photos

    All of these and many more have been left on a very-low-traffic blog that’s almost entirely about quilting and other handicrafts. Although I did identify one comment among the sea of SEO ads that seems to be an actual legit comment, but so badly written that even I’m having a hard time being sure that there’s a Real Person(TM) behind it. The main reason I suspect it’s not a bot is the lack of any links other than an email address.

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