E3 2016 Day 0: Xbox

By Shamus
on Jun 13, 2016
Filed under:
Video Games

Let’s see what Microsoft has for us this year. My hot takes:

Xbox One S: The Xbox One-and-a-half. It’s smaller and has more oomph to make hitting 60fps more do-able. I feel strongly It should have been called the Xbone Extended Release, because “XBonER” is the only thing more fun to say than “Xbone”.

I spent the entire time snarking my way through Gears of Whatever and dumb crap about controllers, but then We Happy Few showed up and I basically stopped being able to think about anything else.

Minecraft: I don’t remember anything about the Minecraft presentation because they brought out John Carmack wearing a VR headset and had him say just 2 lines of dialog.

Scalebound looks like Marlow Briggs crossed with Final Fantasy.

Sea of Thieves: This looks like streamer fodder for the Yogscasts of the world.

State of Decay 2: I have no idea.

Halo Wars 2: RTS on a controller didn’t work last time, but… we’re trying again anyway.

Xbox Scorpio: Wait. You already announced the Xbox One S! Now you’re announcing the next gen console? What?

Final Thoughts:

Mixing “You have the Freedom to choose!” with “Xbox One and Windows 10 exclusive!” was pretty hilariously dissonant.

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1313 comments. That's a baker's dozen.

From the Archives:

  1. Noah Gibbs says:

    I’ve only played the very early pre-release We Happy Few, like, months ago… But it’s amazing. As good as advertised. With clearly more coming. The videos of Uncle Jack on YouTube will convince you to go buy it instantly… At least, if you’re anything like me.

    (I was on the Kickstarter, but can only play via Boot Camp on my Mac.)

    • ThaneofFife says:

      I really wanted to back We Happy Few on Kickstarter, but I can’t actually remember if I did. I’ll have to check when I get home!

      I really like the vibe, which strongly reminds me of the original The Prisoner BBC series with Patrick McGoohan.

  2. Hal says:

    Scorpio?

    Man, all I can think of is Simpsons references now.

  3. krellen says:

    I saw lots of folks upset/teasing about the “only one XBox One or Windows 10!” stuff, and I just kept thinking to myself “This is the Microsoft presentation – did you really expect them to announce a bunch of stuff for Sony?”

    • KarmaTheAlligator says:

      Pretty sure people are upset because of the Windows 10 bit, not the xbox bit. It either forces people to upgrade to Win 10, or miss out on the stuff.

      • krellen says:

        Windows 10 works fine. The issue is the pushy upgrade rollout, not the OS. Microsoft is keeping with their “every other one” hit parade.

        • KarmaTheAlligator says:

          Depends what you use. I know for a fact a few programs we use at work won’t work with Win 10, so we cannot upgrade anyway.

          But yes, that pushy upgrade approach isn’t doing them any favour either.

  4. Bloodsquirrel says:

    Halo Wars was actually pretty fun. The only reason we didn’t get a sequel sooner was because the studio was apparently a complete mess and had to be shut down.

    I guess MS is trying to one-up Sony. “They’ve got two versions of their console? Fuck them, we’ll do three!”

  5. Josh says:

    State of Decay is a wonderful RPG/strategy zombie-basher. There’s still time to play it before the sequel comes out.

    The trailer focuses on the updated art and graphics, as they do, but I’m hopeful that the gameplay is as good as the original. It looks like the same folks are making the sequel, which is a good sign.

    • JohnnyFive says:

      I agree with Josh.

      State of decay is a very cool survival with zombies. You control one group of survivors looking for food, medicine, ammo, etc while dealing with external and internal threats.

      It’s basically a strategy game, but with people and permanent death.

      Characters are auto generated aside from characters introduced via the story.

  6. Shoeboxjeddy says:

    Halo Wars “worked” and sold pretty well actually. I wonder if the new dev team will make something even more impressive or if it’ll be more of the same.

    • Leonick says:

      Agreed. Halo Wars worked just fine. Yes, not as good as it would have with a mouse, but hey, guess what? Halo Wars 2 is on PC as well and they’re bringing over Halo Wars 1 too.

  7. Volvagia says:

    Scalebound: Mechanically, it looks decent enough for what it probably is, (A potential inoffensive selling point to convince Sega that maybe Bayonetta 3 should go back to cross-platform or exclusive to an adult console) but unless they re-record a lot of stuff and this isn’t representative of the final voice acting/writing? This is NOT going to be a fanboy darling in the way Bayonetta became, especially since they have a lot of obnoxious, Sonic Boom-esque, voice stabs in their demo.

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