Seven minutes. It takes nearly seven minutes of unbroken dialog to resolve the end of this promised land quest, which is an optional quest with no connection to the main plot and which is rendered entirely moot shortly thereafter. For contrast, Shepard is only dead for three and a half minutes of screen time in the opening of Mass Effect 2.
And now, a collection of Star Wars quotes that people never realized are actually about our character’s ass:
“That’s no moon…”
“And I thought it smelled bad on the OUTSIDE.”
“Look at the size of that thing!”
“I should have recognized your stench when I was brought on board.”
“What an incredible smell you’ve discovered! “
“Only now. At the end, do you see.”
“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
“Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!”
“You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide.”
“They came from… behind!”
“Put that thing away, you’re gonna get us all killed!”
Looking back, I have to say Star Wars has an awful lot of dialog about smells.
So what happens when a SOFTWARE engineer tries to review hardware? This. This happens.
Quakecon 2011 Keynote Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
There's a wonderful way to balance difficulty in RPGs, and designers try to prevent it. For some reason.
Why I Hated Resident Evil 4
Ever wonder how seemingly sane people can hate popular games? It can happen!
Mass Effect Retrospective
A novel-sized analysis of the Mass Effect series that explains where it all went wrong. Spoiler: It was long before the ending.