We’re not even going to get into the blasphemy that Mumbles was spouting about Spiderman being a bigger bully than Batman. I’m just going to assume she’s talking about some newer incarnation of Peter Parker. MY Parker was a college guy trying to balance his obligations at school, a girlfriend, paying his bills, his aging aunt, and his part-time job, while also being seemingly the only superhero in a New York infested with Electro, Rhino, Green Goblin, and Dr. Octopus. Nowadays I suppose he’s hanging out with billionaires, fighting galactic horrors in a city brimming with cross-overs, recovered from death half a dozen times and retired and un-retired another half dozen. He might even be dating a supermodel or something. The beleaguered Peter that used quips and one-liners to mask his pain and anxiety is a relic of a bygone era.
Anyway. Let’s talk about this episode…
This Bane fight is a complete mess. Bane throws you though a wall into a boiler room with no doors, where Joker already has guys waiting on the “balcony”, waiting to jump down into the fight. Once you win, the ceiling collapses for no reason, you Bat-claw up to the ceilingPossibly leaving a half-dozen mooks to die!, then emerge from a manhole to find Gordon has beat you there. And then Bane – who should be fifty feet below you under a mountain of bricks – bursts out of the wall like the Kool-Aid man. Then Batman blindsides him with the Batmobile and knocks them into the water, even though the Batmobile wasn’t pointed in the right direction and the water was both too far and in the wrong direction for this to work.
See, I thought this game was based on the Animated Batman, but here I think they took a page from Animaniacs. This is goofy loony crazypants moon logic.
This is something that you can sort of get away with in a cartoon. We can always imagine there are other details to the scene that the camera never shows us. We’re never totally sure of where all the elements are in relation to each other, so when the Batmobile travels in a stright line from parking spot, to Bane, to the water, we just assume that makes sense. But this is a world where the audience can control the camera, and we can see this cutscene is a geographic mess.
In the fight, the game doesn’t make it clear what you’re supposed to be doing. It’s a lame repeating pattern fight, the mooks only obscure what you need to be watching for, the geography makes no damn sense, and you’ll spend more time fighting the camera than fighting Bane. It’s like a crappy, unpolished version of the fights Ocarina of Time was doing back in 1998.
 Possibly leaving a half-dozen mooks to die!
The Best of 2013
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2013.
The Biggest Game Ever
How did this niche racing game make a gameworld so massive, and why is that a big deal?
A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.
Quakecon Keynote 2013 Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
A programming project where I set out to make a gigantic and complex world from simple data.