So then the animation glitches out and shoves the guard into 47. Then the AI glitches and goes stupidly hostile. Then the collision glitches out and won’t let the player escape the elevator. Then the game logic glitches and lets the player leave when foes are hostile.
Then the nuns. My goodness are those nuns infantile and infuriating. I know I keep saying this, but I’m not against games having same T&A in them. But this? This “fanservice as written by an adolescent” approach to putting tits in the game in unendurable. This is completely ridiculous, yet done without any humor, lampshading, self-awareness, or sense of fun.
Once you get to the lab, the level designers decide to take away your disguise and the keycards you’ve acquired. Then it shoves us into a simple linear “open this one door” situation. From there you enter an open area with a grand total of two disguises, so no matter what you do you need to be sneaking around like Splinter Cell instead of walking around like Hitman. Then it gives you an assassination target of someone you’ve never heard of, know nothing about, and have no reason to killI’m sure the briefing gives you a half-assed excuse, but it’s not like the story has set this up. It spent the last cutscene on the nuns., and in fact going after him should logically make it harder to achieve your real goal of rescuing the girl.
The environment design reminds me a great deal of Arkham Origins: The level designers just make “videogame levels” with no thought as to how these areas are used, how people would get around, or how they should connect to each other. It’s just random corridors.
This game is to Blood Money as Thi4f is to Thief. I know it’s supposedly the same studio, but it feels like a project given to a new team that had no interest or respect for the original work. This game is baffling.
But then Josh pushed the guy off a ledge so all is forgiven.
 I’m sure the briefing gives you a half-assed excuse, but it’s not like the story has set this up. It spent the last cutscene on the nuns.
Crysis 2 has basically the same plot as Half-Life 2. So why is one a classic and the other simply obnoxious and tiresome?
Mass Effect 3 Ending Deconstruction
Did you dislike the ending to the Mass Effect trilogy? Here's my list of where it failed logically, thematically, and tonally.
The Terrible New Thing
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
The Best of 2014
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2014.
So what happens when a SOFTWARE engineer tries to review hardware? This. This happens.