Star Wars Yoga

By Shamus Posted Thursday Mar 5, 2009

Filed under: Nerd Culture 25 comments

Finally! I’m so tired of the lack of Star Wars tie-ins. Do you know that there is no Star Wars brand drinking water? Even people long, long ago got thirsty. Heck, they had a whole planet of ice. That stuff would be pretty good if you could melt it down and filter out all the exploded droid parts and abominable snowman dung. “Hoth Ice” bottled water. Catchy, huh? I’m also really sad that I can’t buy any Bothan soap, Twi’lek moisturizer, Imperial hedge trimmers, or Wookie toothbrushes. Just think of all the products we’re missing out on. But at least I can enjoy a sensible Star Wars based exercise program.

I wonder if the Jedi did Yoga?


From The Archives:

25 thoughts on “Star Wars Yoga

  1. Jabor says:

    They might not have called it “yoga”, but contorting yourself into a pretzel shape seems like a very Jedi thing to do.

    Also, I see marketing opportunities in your other ideas.

    Also also first.

  2. Dasfarak says:

    I would have imagined that a Jedi exercise program would consist of running through a jungle with a forty pound weight on your back.

  3. Factoid says:

    Twi’lek’s have such shiny skin…I bet you’re right, they probably have a kill moisturizing regime.

  4. Ludo says:

    Muahaha !
    Thank you Shamus, you really made my evening :)

    @Daskarak : I’m afraid you’re confusing the Jedi with the Foreign Legion… which in itself says quite a lot :)

  5. OEP says:


    No, a Jedi exercise program is running through a swamp with a puppet on your back.

  6. illiterate says:

    took me a moment not to see “Star Wars Yoda”

  7. Document says:

    I’m slightly worried about the possible implications of Bothan soap.

  8. Julian says:

    They don’t have the Han Shot First, Let The Wookie Win and the Reverse I Hate Sand.
    When they include those, I’ll buy all the videos.

  9. Lebkin says:

    I never understand the anger toward Star Wars tie-ins. Part of why Star Wars was so magical when I was a kid is that it was more than just the movies. It was toys, lunchboxes, novels, and video games. Without the whole phenomenon around it, I do not believe that it would have had the same long-lasting impact that it has. The fact that now, third-two years after that first movie came out, we still talk about it on a regular basis says something.

  10. MissusJ says:

    I bet the Jedi would do yoga. What with all the deep breathing, clearing of minds, and whatnot. Either that or some form of Tai Chi- meditation through movement is what I am getting at.

    And it scares me that I was actually wanting to try some of those poses…

  11. nilus says:

    I am pretty sure there a wookie toothbrush out there.

  12. Hawkehunt says:

    That’s just… *shuddder*

  13. ClearWater says:

    I bet Yoda did Yoga. In fact, they probably named it after him but get the spelling wrong.

  14. Sheer_FALACY says:

    Many Bothans died for this soap.

  15. WanderingGrapefruit says:

    Yoda Yoga would definitely be a better name.

  16. Armagrodden says:

    I guess that’s interesting, but I think I’ll stick with Tae Boba.

  17. Pickly says:

    >I bet the Jedi would do yoga. What with all the deep breathing, clearing of minds, and whatnot. Either that or some form of Tai Chi- meditation through movement is what I am getting at.

    Whether or not this post is sarcastic, those sorts of meditation things do seem like stuff the Jedi would do.

  18. SimeSublime says:

    I hate getting exploded driod parts in my bottled water too.

  19. Juni says:

    Anyone see that Dilbert strip?

    “I think you might need to accept that it’s not a yoga class you’re taking.”

    “Suspicious, you are.”

  20. mc says:

    driod? Is that supposed to be ‘droid’? I could just be missing an obvious reference, I’ve never seen Star Wars.

    I know, I know. My geek card is already suspended.

  21. wererogue says:

    Now the concept of “Hoth Ice”(tm) has given me The Fear. Thanks, Shamus.

  22. Smileyfax says:

    I once saw a lightsaber-shaped back massager. (And by back massager, I mean “back massager”).

  23. karma police says:


    Fear is the path to the Dark Side.

  24. Richard Smith says:

    @ClearWater (#13): I bet Yoda did Yoga.

    Years ago. That’s the real reason he went into hiding – skipping out on child support payments.

  25. Namfoodle says:

    Okay, the Yoga poses are pretty funny. And Tae Boba is hilarious.

    I once dated a girl who owned a (vaguely) lightsaber-shaped back massager. And by back massager, I mean a corded vibrating appliance that was used in an “off label” method on female naughty bits.

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