Unskippable: The Bouncer

By Shamus Posted Saturday Feb 28, 2009

Filed under: Movies 19 comments

I would like to point out that Steven Blum has now appeared in 40% of the Unskippable episodes, all of which also co-starred the moon. Here he plays the guy with tattoos.

This is a pretty good showcase of terrible plot devices. It’s almost a kind of “can you spot them all?” sort of thing. From the plot exposition newscast to the big-font decryption, this thing is kind of funny even before the guys begin their cruel taunting.

“Hey! There’s a party in my pants and you’re… underage.”


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19 thoughts on “Unskippable: The Bouncer

  1. Froody says:

    Almost all videos you have posted this year are Escapist videos, most of them Unskippable links. I have to admit it’s getting a little irritating, but maybe I’m biased by the obnoxious Unskippable plugs they used to retroactively put into every single ZP episode…

    1. Shamus says:


      I don’t do regular posts over the weekend. (It’s when I do my writing.) I usually post a movie for Saturday “morning” (depending on where you are in the world) that amused me during the week. But it’s not like you’re missing out on a post. If I didn’t post the movie, I’d post nothing.

  2. Julian says:

    First, an Earth-based station trasmits a guidance signal to the Martian invasion fleet. Upon receiving the signal, the satellite achieves sentience, and tries to kill all of humanity.
    That part made laugh so hard my I choked on my mate.
    For the uninformed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_(beverage)

  3. Jim says:

    Julian, this is a childish comment for me to make, but I enjoy the fact that the parenthesis mangled the link builder thing. Mostly because it undoes the clarification you were trying to pre-emptively make :D

    Back on track I’m really impressed with the rate and level of humor the Unskippable guys are able to put out. Everyone of them has made me laugh out loud at least once. And as many people have stated (including our gracious host, Shamus) they really nail the MST3K style better than anyone else I’ve seen.

  4. Korivak says:

    I’m starting to neglect my Escapist feed, since your feed lets me know about Stolen Pixels, Experienced Points and Unskippable. That’s the bulk of the regular content that keeps me coming back, and since I got my iPod touch I’ve been getting my gaming news from Touch Arcade and Slide to Play instead.

  5. Ben says:

    I loved the Bouncer for its terribleness. A black panther comes out of nowhere in the middle of the city, and Volt’s question to Sion, rather than “DID YOU JUST SEE THAT??? IT WAS A BLOODY PANTHER RIGHT? IN THE CITY? AM I CRAZY?” was “Do you know that black panther?”. I’m sorry? What? Does he know that black panther? Why would you ask him that? Weirdo.

    He does know the black panther.

  6. AGrey says:

    4: I think these guys nail the MST3K-style thing so well because one of them sounds -Exactly- like Mike Nelson

  7. Anaphyis says:

    Never heard of that game before and since it’s a Square game I got curious. Three bouncer rescue an underage girl from a company primarily involved in alternative energies, yet which somehow seems to have studied at the Resident Evil school of business.

    My brain hurts. I’ll go play Thief 2 again.

  8. Crystalgate says:

    The most disturbing thing about this game is later seeing the underage girl in a really skimpy outfit. The outfit isn’t that big of a problem by itself, but I can think of only two reasons as to why she’s wearing that and both are disturbing. Either she always wore that skimpy outfit under her jacket meaning she actually works in bar wearing clothes that are both skimpy and very tight or her brother had her dressed in those clothes.

  9. guy says:

    Given that people make no comment on her lack of pants, i can only assume as to her job.

    I hear it’s legalish at her age in japan, actually.

  10. MadTinkerer says:

    While all Unskippables are funny, the funniest ones are the ones where I’ve already played the game.

    The Bouncer was Squaresoft’s first PS2 game and as such it’s also the one with the most flaws (yes, this includes Dirge of Cerberus), but it has a certain unique charm not present in any other game ever.

    The basic premise of the setting is very much like a cross between Street Fighter and Double Dragon with a bit of Tekken and Virtua Fighter thrown in, so it’s not that the characters or plot are any more ridiculous than your typical fighting game, but portraying them in a very cinematic RPG-ish way… well it goes to show you why most fighting games don’t portray what the characters do when they’re not fighting.

    On the other hand, if you play the game keeping in mind that it’s basically a fighting game with a plot shoehorned in, and the mandatory Squaresoft Cutscenes, and it’s a bit on the short side (but hey, so is Portal and WoG), it’s pretty fun.

  11. Colonel Slate says:

    By far and away my favorite part of the cutscene has absolutely nothing to do with the commentary, it is just the way the “goons” are “deployed” by helicopter, and land head first on their targeted drop point.

  12. Shinjin says:

    I rather like how the goons bash trough the roof, yet cause zero damage to the floor…

  13. WILL says:

    This game makes no sense.

  14. Dano says:

    I’ve never seen unskippable before, but, boy, I laughed so hard! I mean for the comments, the video itself looks very sucky.

  15. StingRay says:

    K, the Unskippable crew is definitely getting better. This is the first one that I laughed all the way through. Thanks, Shamus. I normally skip these on The Escapist.

  16. Trianglehead says:

    That was the best Unskippable so far. Thanks for sharing!

  17. Tooth-Tooth says:

    Gyaaaah Kingdom Hearts!

  18. Yar Kramer says:

    @StingRay: So, you mean to say you found this one … unskippable? *bricked*

    I can’t decide what my favorite line in this one is. I think my favorite Unskippable line is still “Wait … where did I leave the moon?”

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