on May 6, 2014
I wasn’t on the show this week because I was sick and had…
[two paragraphs of lengthy bitching and moaning redacted]
…until it all turned green and fell off. But I’m nearly back to normal now. In the meantime, the kids did the show without me. I’m listening to the show for the first time as I write this, so we’re going to experience this together.
Let’s do this:
2:00 Chris has entered the strange world of mobile gaming. He’s playing Jurassic Park.
Really? The game is just called “Jurassic Park”? Not “Jurassic Park: Mobile” or “Jurassic Park: Reviving Previously Extinct Species to have them Fight to the Death in a sick and Decadent Pit-Fight in the Name of Animal Cruelty Because Obviously”? Nothing to distinguish it from the movie, or the hundreds of other games that have also failed to do justice to the Jurassic Park mythos? No?
9:00 Chris is playing Rusty’s Real Deal Baseball.
18:30 Mumbles has been learning The Console Gaming.
29:00 Apparently we digressed into Hearthstone at some point? That’s the new card game thing, right?
32:00 Josh is playing Dark Souls 2 and Stronghold Kingdoms.
40:00 Rutskarn is playing Planescape Torment.
For the record: Yes, I played through Planescape Torment. You lightweights.
48:00 The Star Wars Extended Universe is not recognized as canon by Disney.
I am not surprised by this. J.J. Abrams rebooted ALL OF STAR TREK, and I suspect it was partly because he didn’t want to have to do a hundred hours of research every time someone pushed a button in the movie. He’s not my first choice for either franchise, and he’s never going to give us a Wrath of Khan or an Empire Strikes Back. But in my book he’s like Michael Bay except he knows to to make a movie. It might be cheap, disposable entertainment, but at least it holds together as a cohesive story with proper character beats. And I’ll take ridiculous LENS FLARE over incomprehensible, puke-inducing shaky-cam any day.
Hang on. After I typed that last paragraph I remembered that Abrams just made Star Trek Into Darkness, and it did try to re-create Wrath of Khan, and it wasn’t a cohesive story at all. I haven’t watched it, but that’s what I heard, anyway. Did I just bolster my position before destroying it? I don’t know. I report. You deride.
This might be for the best. Abrams strikes me as not the best person to manage the intersection of dozens of films and books. He’s not a detail guy, and he would probably just infuriate fans if he actually tried to build on existing extended universe canon. It’s far better for him to be up front and honest about what he’s doing so we can go in with our expectations properly calibrated.
1:00:00 Shouldn’t the show be about over by now? Are we still talking about Star Wars?
1:03:00 Josh isn’t kidding. Here is the guy with the ice cream maker.
Also, still talking about Star Wars.
1:08:00 We’re talking about Guy Fieri now. For some reason.
I had no idea who this guy was until Chris brought him up.
Star Wars and Homestuck and Guy Fieri?!? What is happening?
Also, there is Homestuck spoilers in this segment. Whatever THAT means.
1:11:00 CURSE YOU JOSH!
Here is the image Rutskarn shared at the end of the show. You’re… welcome?