Professor Rutskarn’s Introduction to Elder Scrolls Cosmology 101: Aedra and Daedra
So once upon a time, a bunch of nerd gods out in nerdspace decided they wanted to make a model universe. So they did, and it was pretty cool at first. Everyone got so into it they self-inserted themselves as planets and spent all their time in this fake universe they made. But then they started bickering hardcore, and this one guy was such a tool that he ended up getting kicked out (although if you ask him, he’ll say he left of his own free will).
But on his way out he ended up tearing a hole into another dimension. A dimension of rad dudes, who smoke and drink beer and party on school nights. And even though they didn’t make the nerd-universe, since they were too busy getting laid, they still had all their powers because they were coming in through the hole.
“Hey!” said the nerds. “This is our universe! We worked really hard on it! Get out!”
“You worked hard on this? Haha, dudes, come check this out. Look, they even made little people and shit.”
“Those people love us and they worship us as Gods! It’s very rewarding and life-enriching!”
“Oh yeah? Hey, that does sound like fun. Hey, little people, worship us too!”
“Th-this isn’t your universe! You can’t make them worship y–“
“CHECK IT OUT LITTLE DUDES, I’M MAKING IT RAIN MONEY AND ARTIFACTS! GO KILL EACH OTHER!”
“Stop! Stop! You’re ruining it!”
That’s basically the Elder Scrolls cosmology.
Tune in for next week’s lecture.
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