I discussed the “How is babby formed?” meme back in 2008. So Rutskarn was really digging deep into the internet archives for that one. When Rutskarn mentions becoming captain of the guard to open a door, he’s referring to an infamous quest chain in Neverwinter Nights 2, which led me to post this long tirade.
And to repeat what we said earlier, congratulations to Chris, who I believe is on his honeymoon cruise right now.
And now we come to the subject of the shroud. Uh oh. I don’t feel very well. I kind of feel like I’m about to nitpick…
Man, good thing that after centuries of warfare the Krogan never destroyed, investigated, dismantled scavenged, or recycled the shroud, right? I mean, here’s this device that was built by their foes, on their own planet, to inflict a sterility plague on them. (Or NOT a sterility plague, depending on who you ask.) I’m not sure how they managed to build the dang thing in the first place. If the Krogan were kicking the galaxy’s ass at the time, then building massive structures on their homeworld would have been like the Japanese trying to build their own shipyard on the coast of California at the tail end of 1944. Moreover, I’m not sure why we need it. What does the shroud do that you couldn’t accomplish with a spaceship? I mean, we’re dumping some sort of biological agent into the atmosphere, right? Why build a towering shroud while being shot at by Krogan when you could just dip into the atmosphere and drop it Enola Gay style? I thought the Turians released the genophage, not the Salarians? So are you telling me that the Salarians invented the genophage, built this tower, and then didn’t intended to use it? And yet they had the foresight to sabotage the shroud, anticipating that it might be used for the cure, when they could have just blown it up to make extra sure it wasn’t ever used. Why use this same delivery method for the cure, since lots of off-world Krogan will likely miss out on it? Better yet, give Wrex a big honkin’ canister of cure and a cargo container of hypodermic needles (or whatever) and let him handle the distribution. Letting him control the cure would give him the power to unite wayward clans, draw in more allies from far off, and deny the cure to troublemakers who might threaten his power.
Whew. Okay. I think that’s all of it. I feel a bit better now.
To be fair, these aren’t story-ruining flaws for me. I’m sure we could find other spots in the series where it all falls apart under too much scrutiny. In a story this big, this is bound to happen. Especially when you don’t have a plan. I just wish the problems with the game had been limited to stuff like this: Missing lampshades and the odd contrivance.
EDIT: Ah yes, the shroud was originally built to fix the Krogan atmosphere, before the uprisings. I’d totally forgotten about that. It does explain most of the problems above. (But not all!)
The Best of 2011
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2011.
A video Let's Play series I collaborated on from 2009 to 2017.
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
The Biggest Game Ever
Just how big IS No Man's Sky? What if you made a map of all of its landmass? How big would it be?
Top 64 Videogames
Lists of 'best games ever' are dumb and annoying. But like a self-loathing hipster I made one anyway.