I’m Expressing My Discontent

By Shamus
on May 29, 2008
Filed under:
Movies

My face still hurts from the cruel touch of my dentist’s dread implements. Spore, Mass Effect, and RSPOD are all coming out encumbered by digital chicanery, and I will have no part in them. I’m miserable and angry at the world. My discontent has caused me to lash out and hurt those closest at hand. This process begins, dear reader, with you.

My desire to share my pain with the world is so strong that I will now afflict you with the following, an agonizing solicitation for a popular videogame. Behold, the Herald of Woe, the Murderer of Joy. The risible, eyeliner-wearing mockery of all that is Rock and Roll. I give you: The Guy Who Sings About Guitar Hero for the DS:

Play the video! Play it now, and know the meaning of tribulation!

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202020161 comments? This post wasn't even all that interesting.

From the Archives:

  1. Kevin says:

    It’s hard to even imagine that was real. At least now I have a practical definition for “tribulation.”

  2. Rattastic says:

    I think my brain cells are leaking out of my ears. You are a vicious and cruel taskmaster. I now need to find a corner to cry in.

  3. maehara says:

    Something tells me my day will be so much better if I just resist clicking “Play”…

  4. Rick Tacular says:

    I wonder if that’s the same guy who does the “Real Men of Genius” commercials.

  5. Deoxy says:

    Conveniently, I’m at work, and I have no sound, so I won’t be watching it. If I remember and have time (both very unlikely), I’ll try to remember to whip and torture myself come back and watch this at home.

  6. Christopher says:

    The worst part is, once started, it takes more willpower than I have to push the stop button. Rock out!

  7. lplimac says:

    It’s times like this that I’m glad my company blocks some media types…. :D

  8. Jeremiah says:

    Damn you, Shamus. I’ll never be able to recover from that.

    Although I have to say when he sang “wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle” I chuckled a little.

  9. Kasper says:

    That was… words fail me. Let me express it in song. NO! they got me…

  10. JSRocker says:

    This was the most horrific desecration of all things good about rock music. I think that the DS concept completely ruins the game too. Thats why they don’t have you mashing buttons on your controller, it’s the fake guitar that makes the game! Not to mention that this DS contraption looks like a tape player.

  11. brian says:

    I understand why you’re upset, and would take any opportunity to validate that feeling — but this was uncalled for.

    My very soul feels abused.

  12. Spider Dave says:

    I think I might have just thrown up a little.
    When I first saw the face the kid gave Senior Eyeliner, I thought he’d have that attitude for the whole thing, but apparently he warmed up to him pretty quickly. Maybe guitar hero for the DS makes you more accepting of tings like him?

  13. Tango says:

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot…

  14. Hawkehunt says:

    JSRocker: “Not to mention that this DS contraption looks like a tape player.”

    It’s Guitar Hero Piracy Edition!

  15. IronCastKnight says:

    My god, that was unspeakably horrible. The hair, the eyeliner, the inanity…

    We have been schooled, sir. Truly, we have been schooled. Owned. Pwnt. Totally decimated with extreme, excessive, and unrelenting force.

  16. Oleyo says:

    Um…I cant be the only one who thinks that lightly brushing a pick against a tiny screen nearly on top of your other “guitar” hand does not seem in any way fun.

    Oh, and Shamus? I blame you for destroying my brain today.

    Also, I cant wait for Lute Hero to come out. I am already practising my “Brave Sir Robin” and “Bitter Dregs” riffs.

  17. JFargo says:

    I already washed my eyes out with bleach to get away from this one. You’ll not suck me back into watching it again!

  18. Gerg says:

    Scott Wieland must be rolling in his grave.

  19. Wombat says:

    Why Shamus? Why must you hurt us so?! *Curls up and cries*

  20. Steev says:

    I want to know. I really do. But since I’m at work, all I see is a big blank space, so I’m guessing this is youtube.

    And at home, for some reason shamusyoung.com just doesn’t exist. So, anyone feel like posting the video id for me?

  21. Clint says:

    @Steev:

    The direct link to the video is here, if you feel some inane need to scar your brain for life:

    http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/222607.html

    Clint

  22. Rustybadger says:

    Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, make the bad man stop!

  23. Galenor says:

    Everytime i close my eyes…the wiggling…
    You are a cruel, cruel man.

  24. Spider Dave says:

    Re: Oleyo
    I’d go for some lute hero. Maybe a Dowland edition.
    Or better yet, Bard Band!

  25. Avaz says:

    Rick Tacular (#4): I was thinking the exact same thing.

    And I think it just might be, but I’m unwilling to do any research to find out.

  26. Jeremiah says:

    Or for anyone else that saw the finale of American Idol and the promos for The Love Guru: Sitar Hero!

  27. khorboth says:

    I saw this when Aaron Williams (Nodwick) linked it. Then I felt compelled to watch the thing in its entirety here too. This says things about my psyche that I’m afraid to contemplate. Well, now I’m going to spread the pain around.

  28. Kat says:

    Hate only leads to suffering, Shamus!

  29. kamagurka says:

    Now, there’s no question I want the dude in the black shirt to die, but apart of how you activate star power, I think the game looks like fun. I think I just got myself kicked off the internet.

  30. Captain Kail says:

    I’ll be honest, I actually laughed out loud at the “he put my guitar on FIIIIIYYAAAAAAA!”

    But it was so stupid it was funny, okay? Don’t hate me.

  31. Spam Vader says:

    I smiled at the ridiculousness. I also smiled when they showed a closeup of the bottom screen and I saw his DS was flashing the orange “Low Battery” light.

    Also, Kamagurka, you are not alone.

  32. Aquatopia says:

    If you merely listen to and not look at the then it stays entertaining. Looking, however, will break your soul.

  33. Hill says:

    That video was AWESOME guys! AWESOME!

  34. Eltanin says:

    It’s hard to type. Not sure keyboard is even working. Blood must be fouling up the works after I stabbed out my eyes and punctured my eardrums with pencils. But the true horror is that my brain continues to replay it over and over…

    Oh the horror.

  35. krellen says:

    The whole thing makes me grin. But I’ve stated on other comment threads that I love bad entertainment, which this most definitely is.

    I think being ridiculously bad is a large part of the point. Cheese is making a comeback, my friends.

  36. Davesnot says:

    Why not just play a guitar..

    If you want a game to drool over.. check this community made module for NWN2.. Lute Hero.. it’s coming soon.. and promises to be a blast!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01ZYHs7Zr0c

    Enjoy!!

  37. Stu says:

    That was… FREAKING AWESOME!!! :-D

    (no, I’m serious)

  38. Scott says:

    Ugh… this…

    No. I deny you Shamus.

  39. ryanlb says:

    Words cannot express my horror. I couldn’t sit through more than 30 seconds of that. Thanks for spreading the love, Shamus!

    Lute Hero looks cool, too bad I don’t have NWN2.

  40. General Ghoul says:

    The “Real Men of Genius” singer was the lead singer of Survivor (Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III), who was a rock star on tour. The universe will end shortly.

  41. My brain hurts.

    I will never forgive.

  42. Joel D says:

    I seriously started tearing up during that.

  43. blizzardwolf says:

    You, are a bastard Shamus. I hope the tender weeping and shrill screams of the thousands you’ve irreversibly scarred keep you awake nights.

    No less than 5 times during that video I wanted to sock that guy in the jaw or kick him in the nuts just as hard as I could. ANYTHING just to get him to stop acting like such a douche.

  44. Terrible says:

    What the…

    Although, if they had Jack Black singing instead, it might have been easier to watch.

    Still, the game looks pretty far from playing a guitar.

  45. Jabor says:

    So wanting Lute Hero ;)

    Anyone else up for making it? For realz, with a lute controller, of course.

  46. Luke Maciak says:

    Worst… Commercial… Evar…

  47. OM3G4 says:

    hay man, I wouldn’t even wish this on my enemies

  48. DocTwisted says:

    The horror… the unadulterated horror…

  49. ArchU says:

    Ahahahahah, that was AMAZING XD

    I bet everybody is really jealous after watching and wishing it was them in the ad instead!

    Wiggly!

  50. anonymouse says:

    My brain hurts.

  51. K says:

    That was pure genious, in a very twisted sort of way.

  52. Mephane says:

    I kind of like the guy singing. He shows exactly the kind of “looking like a total maniac” that I find interesting. However, the gameplay looks like it wouldn suck.^^

  53. Amstrad says:

    The real appeal of this ad is to those who know and appreciate the vocal talents of Dave Bickler of the band Suvivor (Eye of the Tiger). Just the right amount of goofy high pitched classic rock vocals. Gotta love it.

  54. Lord ZYRK says:

    Damn you Shamus! Damn you to hell! >_< That’s an evil trick to which it is impossible to stop watching! Agh I think my brain is eating itself now X_X

  55. JohnOSpencer says:

    When..will…the…hurting…stop!?

  56. Davesnot says:

    Lute Hero is for real guys.. that’s not just a joke youtube video.. it’s a progress report.. the same mod maker made a game called Pirate Cards for NWN2.. where you basically play MagicTheGathering in NWN2..

    Lute Hero is his next mashup of games.. Guitar Hero meets NWN2.. thus.. Lute Hero

    For those that missed it.. here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01ZYHs7Zr0c

  57. Flowlen says:

    This guy…. is F*ing evil….

  58. BeckoningChasm says:

    He looks like Martin Short doing Ed Grimley trying to be Pee-Wee Herman imitating Mick Jagger.

  59. Al Shiney says:

    I don’t understand. I am confused.

    I clearly stated to the DM that I disbelieved. I made my saving throw by plenty (rolled a 6 against a 14, so even if the modifiers were many, it should have vanished).

    Yet this obvious phantasm won’t go away. What have I done to deserve this? Do I need to roll up a new character? :-(

  60. Garet says:

    That made me hurt with pain…

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