A-Team

By Shamus
on Feb 12, 2006
Filed under:
Movies

If you’ve never read one of these before, then you may want to read the Rules of Dream Cast before proceeding.

I remember that at the time there was a lot of hand-wringing about how the A-Team was a new low in the rise of television violence. (A low in the rise? Who am I kidding? Can we just pretend that makes sense and move along?) The show seems tame by today’s standards, and perhaps even comical. Every show had at least one firefight. I don’t remember people getting shot and bleeding. I don’t even recall bullet holes appearing in stuff they used for cover. I don’t know how two teams of professional mercenaries could have a battle with automatic weapons at twenty yards and not have any injuries, except for the fact that the standards of the day did not allow for bullet-riddled corpses on network television.

Someday Hollywood will, much like Dr. Frankenstein, dig up this old show and attempt to bring it to life again in the name of science. Well, science and money. Maybe just money. Anyway, who would be in it? Let’s see…

Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith

Tommy Lee Jones is perfect for the role of the hardass cigar-chewing leader. He’s been playing similar characters at least since The Fugitive. I can already hear him barking the Hannibal catchphrase, “I love it when a plan comes together”.

Captain “Howlin’ Mad” Murdock

Not only does Jim Carrey look the part, but he specializes in playing crazy, nutty characters. There is no reason to even consider anyone else for the part.

Lieutenant Templeton “Face” Peck

Face’s skill was “with the ladies”, although thinking back I don’t recall how that ever translated into a meaningful contribution to the team. He was usually scarce when the shooting started. I’m sure his angle was as a con man of sorts. Sounds like a job for Owen Wilson.


Sergeant Bosco “B.A.” Baracus

Mr. T didn’t really play any particular part. He just came on and played himself, which was charming enough to give him a popular appeal that reached far beyond the show itself. From the mohawk, to the 40lbs of gold chains, to the colorful clothing, to the various catchphrases he used, he was a wholly unique character. His style became a one-man culture, seemingly detached from the world around him. Nobody else looked like that and acted like that.

So the question is, do you hire an actor to play the character as Mr. T. did, or do you let them establish their own take on B.A. Baracus? If you go with the former, then you are, in essence, hiring someone to play Mr. T. This would be tricky to pull off without turning it into parody. Plus, no matter how well they played the part, nobody is going to play Mr. T as well as Mr. T did. On the other hand, if you let an actor establish their own version of B.A., then it will alienate many fans. This is a difficult call.

I have no suggestions for who might play B.A. as Mr. T. did, but if you are going to let another actor come in and make the role their own, then I suggest: Keep a couple of gold chains, throw in one or two instances of his catchphrases as homage, and give the role to Ice Cube .

Amy Allen / Tawnia Baker

The role of The Reporter was played by a couple of different actresses during the run of the show. I think it is pretty obvious that this character is here because the laws of television writing proclaim that You Need A Girl in your show. The fact that they switched actresses demonstrated that it didn’t really matter who played the part, as long as she was easy on the eyes. Knight Rider did the same thing. There isn’t much to this character, which means there isn’t much for us to work with.

So, I don’t know. Just get someone pretty that can read their lines without stuttering and won’t trip over the scenery. Hire a random Hooters girl. It doesn’t matter.

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9Nine comments.

From the Archives:

  1. Telas says:

    BA: Michael Clarke Duncan. Give him some good direction, and let him roll over anything in his way. He was almost scenery in The Green Mile, and with some good camera angles, etc. he’ll be another man-mountain.

  2. Kenny Celican says:

    I agree with Telas, mostly, although Kevin Grevioux could also play the part. If he were younger, Samuel L Jackson could as well. The part of B.A. can be played many ways, but one of the things you need for the role is that he’s the ‘badass thug’ of the group.

    You need someone who is just plain intimidating. MCD and Grevioux do that on size and voice. Jason Statham could do it as well, if you go for a race change. Adam Baldwin pulled off a very similar character in Firefly, although he doesn’t have the flash of the others listed. There are a lot of choices, because as you’ve said, to do it right you need to give someone the ‘must be intimidating’ part and then give them their head, or you’ll wind up parodying T.

  3. Dimitri says:

    Does somebody know if the movie is coming out??

    I am from Holland and a huge The A-Team fan and i
    heard that there was an idea about making a film,
    but i never hear anything more about it…

    Can somebody tell me more?

    Thanks Dimitri Metgod
    from Holland

  4. I have to say… WELL CAST! I would totally dig seeing these people play these specific chacters. Well done. *single applause*

  5. Sean Hagen says:

    They actually are doing the A-Team as a movie. I only know this because a buddy of mine is an extra in the movie ( they’re filming bits of it here in “Hollywood North” — Vancouver, BC ).

  6. Nuric says:

    I like your Hannibal and BA castings, though I can’t see Owen Wilson really pulling off Face and Jim Carrey generally makes my teeth is. But, the Movie was actually really good. Fun, funny, and surprisingly well done. One of the better movies if the year, believe it or not.

    • Jupiter says:

      I agree. Liam Neeson was amazing as Hannibal, and Quinton Jackson did a pretty good BA; reminiscent of Mr. T, but definitely not trying to be Mr. T.

      And Hannibal’s line “Give me a minute, I’m good. Give me an hour, I’m great. Give me six months, I’m unbeatable“. That dude was getting out of jail, he just was waiting for the inevitable opportunity.

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