Assassin’s Creed 2 EP18: I’m Better off Without You!

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 10, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 133 comments


Link (YouTube)

I found the gondola escort to be very unsatisfying. It kind of reminded of a GTA mission, where your goals aren’t always clear and deviation results in failure, even when it shouldn’t. The dock ends pointing directly at the boat, which struck me as a giant, “THIS WAY, PLAYER”. So I was pretty miffed when jumping on board launched all of them into the drink. (Having said that, it’s pretty hilarious ito see it happen.) Later, I failed (or nearly, I don’t remember) because I got too far AHEAD of the boat, thus getting punished for being overly thorough and efficient. Then when the gondola pulled into the tunnel, I continued to follow the platforming, and once again got too far from my target. I failed, even though the characters were now safely in their hideout and I had done my job. All of this, and the entire setup of psychic guards assaulting the gondola on sight feels sort of odd.

Like a lot of GTA missions, it’s something that’s piss-easy once you know what the pitfalls are. When I fail, I feel like my goals or challenges weren’t properly explained, and when I win I don’t feel like I’ve really done anything impressive. I just failed until I did exactly as I was told.

Yeah, yeah. I know: Animus.

As an aside, I really, really can’t stand Rosa. Reckless, bossy, short-sighted, irrational, unreasonable, arrogant. Gah. She’s like Miranda, only louder. I got mad when Ezio entertained her flirting. What are you doing, man? Show some self-respect!

 


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133 thoughts on “Assassin’s Creed 2 EP18: I’m Better off Without You!

  1. webrunner says:

    Ezio is also the inventor of a few other things. I don’t know if they cover it in this game or the next, but he gives up Assassinating temporarily in order to use his villa money to build a stage for him to inform the public about the Templar threat.

    And from then on, whenever someone has a space specifically to talk to people, they call it an auditorium.

    1. Jakale says:

      See, I know I shouldn’t like when games and movies Mary Sue their characters into making all these nice modern things we have before their time, and in part I don’t, but at the same time I can’t help giving props to puns like that.

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Oh god!That was horrible!

      Though,on the plus side,youve just shamed Rutskarn by thinking of a pun before him.

      1. Audacity says:

        You should be careful about doing that. I hear Rutskarn has sworn to punish all who do.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Let him try!I have assassins stamina.

          What?…Oh,you were expecting a pun.Well Im such a non-conformist that I dont pun with the crowd.

          1. noahpocalypse says:

            Correction: ‘I don’t punform with the rest of the crowd.’

          2. They’re not even puns, they’re rhymes.

  2. Joel D says:

    Spoiler Warning: accentuate the negative, focus on the absurd, ignore the positive!

      1. webrunner says:

        Wait, wait, is that CHEESE spam?

        There’s SPAM for CHEESE.

        The internet surprises yet again.

        1. Cerapa says:

          This is the only spambot whose link I have clicked on.

          Cmon, its cheese.

        2. Deadpool says:

          It’s not spam. It’s to go with the WINE…

          Geez…

          1. Sumanai says:

            Oh. That actually went over my head. I thought it would be site that accentuates the negative on various cheese in a high brow way for an amusing effect.

    1. Shamus says:

      Gamers: Always demanding that critics tell them what they already believe. :)

      1. Joey Palzewicz says:

        Oh, thanks, Shamus. Now my computer screen is covered in root beer from laughing at that.

        1. Ringwraith says:

          It’s funny because it’s true.
          I just tend to ignore things that stick out like that so they don’t ruin my enjoyment but I can spot them when looking at in hindsight, and then safely ignore them when I resume playing.

          1. Reet says:

            For you maybe. I used to think fallout 3 was well written…let’s just say that I have now been cursed with thinking-about-plots-alot-itis and I don’t like fallout 3 as much as I used to.

            1. Ringwraith says:

              Yeah, I don’t know how I manage it, I guess I’m able to switch off that part of my brain, and do so without me realising.

              1. Sumanai says:

                I’m sort of reverse. When I play games like Fallout 3 without first spoiling them I feel agitated. After several hours of playing I start catching on to what is causing it and I often quit and then forget to play again. But since I spoiled Fallout 3, I went prepared for B-movie plot and came out with an overall positive experience.

      2. Gamer says:

        It’s true. I rarely notice these things when I play. And then when I replay the games you comment on, I totally ignore the flaws.

        Though I admit that the coffee thing annoyed me the first time I saw it.

    2. Joel D says:

      Probably too late for people to see this comment, but I was commenting with a smile on my face, not complaining. It’s hard to convey tone while typing – I probably should have put a :p at the end of my post :/

  3. Deadpool says:

    Men in games have almost as little self respect as women in games do…

    1. Peter H. Coffin says:

      I hate it when games mirror real life a little TOO closely… Whatever happened to aiming for an idealized experience?

  4. Jakale says:

    Not to mention the fact that the guards aren’t assaulting the gondola at all. You can see in the vid where it gets ahead of Josh, they just stand there waiting to see you to trigger their normal guard actions.
    I’ve only played the game once, so I don’t know if you can kill that first guard, then hop along the roof out of site of the guards.

    1. MrWhales says:

      If you try it, atleast for me, the game yells at you for being too far away from them.

  5. jdaubenb says:

    Swimming and people drowning once they hit the water:

    Being able to swin was actually seen as a negative thing in the middle ages (and not much had changed in the Renaissance): Learning to swim would require you to strip down which was obviously a big no no. Furthermore it was seen as bringing bad fortune to know how to swim and get onto a boat. By being able to swim people thought you were tempting fate for your ship/boat to go belly up.

    Of course there were people who learned to swim, but they were relatively far and few between and the activity had a very low regard. It wasn’t forbidden to indulge yourself, it was just more unlikely.

    Basically: If you fell into a body of water you couldn’t stand in you were supposed to pray for rescue or a quick death.

    1. SolkaTruesilver says:

      In Shogun, there was a quick conversation between Pilots. One knew how to swim, the other told him that he didn’t, because if he went overboard he didn’t wanted to survive too long.

      I guess I could kinda understand that depressing reasoning.

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      That makes sense most of the time.But this is venice.Youre telling me that all these people grew up here,and none of them ended up in the canal even once,not even as a child.Sorry,but if it was any other town Id buy that as an explanation for the super drowning skills of everyone in the game,but not here.

      1. silver Harloe says:

        In addition to your excellent points, I have to imagine the “bad luck to have someone on a boat who even _knows how_ to swim” thing varies from culture to culture. A lot of vikings and English sailors didn’t know how to swim not because of weird superstitions but because there weren’t heated pools and you try to swim in that weather. owowowowowcoldcolcoldcoldbrrrrbrrrbrrr.

          1. TSED says:

            You may not have noticed, but throughout modern history, Russians seem to be the go-to experts on killing Russians.

            1. 4th Dimension says:

              And then only strongest survive, and that is how Mother Russia makes you strong.

            2. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Well who else would be crazy enough to engage them?

      2. Sumanai says:

        There are a lot of people in Venice, surely they would help if someone fell into water?

      3. some random dood says:

        Maybe because it *is* Venice? Ezio hinted at it in the show – the city stinks! That water is not exactly something you would dare drink from. It could easily be that drowning is preferable than trying to survive the various diseases you might get from being in that bacterial soup!

  6. rrgg says:

    Do the different weapons in assassin’s creed actually have different uses? The fighting looks sort of the same whether you’re using a sword, your daggers or fisticuffs.

    1. burningdragoon says:

      I think they have different timing for countering. Also, I don’t remember exactly with 2, but in Brotherhood different weapons are more effective against different enemies. There is a bit of rock-paper-scissors thing for counters.

      1. Raygereio says:

        Brotherhood different weapons are more effective against different enemies.

        If there was such a system, I never noticed it. As for counter timing: that doesn’t change.

        You have 3 main weapon groups:
        -Small weapons (knives and such) are fast with low damage.
        -Medium weapons (longswords, maces) are… err.. medium in characteristics. Blunt weapons are supposed to be better at breaking an enemy’s gueard, but I honestly have never noticed that big a difference.
        -Heavy weapons (in AC2 can only be picked up from guards) are slow and do a lot of damage. Counters with a heavy weapon will always kill, but will leave the weapon in question almost always embedded in the weapon.
        Each group has it’s own timing for counters in theory, but either that timing is really forgiving or they’re just all the same.

        Now each individual weapon also has some stats. Here’s how those are supposed to work:
        Damage; should be self-explenatory.
        Speed; allows Ezio to swing the weapon faster.
        Deflect; the higher it is, the longer an enemy’s recovery time is after a succusfully blocked attack.

        In practice however both the difference between the weapon groups and – besides the fact that I’ve never even noticed any changes with these stats – the speed and deflect stats are pretty much meaningless.
        Combat in AC2 mostly revolves around counterkills and if that isn’t an insta-kill the damage it does is determined by the damage stat (in Brotherhood the focus lies on the execution mechanic which is nothing but insta-kills).
        The same is true if you decide to be fancy and start wailing on a dude with that silly fear-my-nerf-stick!-animation.

        In short: Just grab a weapon with animations you like, or one you find pretty. If you do feel the need to upgrade just pay attention to the damage stat.

        1. Shamus says:

          With regards to timing:

          I find counter-kills to be easy with sword, and hard with hidden blade. I don’t know why, but until I read the above I’d always assumed that the hidden blade was less forgiving.

          1. Raygereio says:

            I'd always assumed that the hidden blade was less forgiving.

            Oh, I did not include the hidden blade in my previous post. You are correct, the hidden blade’s timing for the counter is less forgiving then that of any other weapon.
            I meant that the timing for the counter timing for knives, longwords, maces, spears, etc, etc, is all the same.

          2. Daemian Lucifer says:

            It does seem to be wonky with the hidden blade,as can be seen in the video when Josh tries to kill that heavy and ends up just playing with his blades.I hate when ezio does that.Leave them out,you idiot!

          3. Josh says:

            The counter-kill for the hidden blade has the shortest time interval because it always kills, whereas by the midpoint of the game, even mooks will intercept most of your sword counter-kills.

            1. Simulated Knave says:

              Which is why you should be sheathing your sword, taking their swords, and RAMMING THEM THROUGH THEIR SPLEENS!!!!!!!!!!

              It’s good clean fun, less finicky than the hidden blade, an easy way to take down heavies, and entertaining as hell.

          4. Gamer says:

            The hidden blade’s timing is more precise, but always results in an instant kill. That’s why it is usually more advisable to disarm the heavy guards. They are slower and thus require different timing, meaning you’ll probably screw up (So to a degree, taking 5 axes hits to the faces wasn’t Josh’s fault). Plus, they’re weapons are super effective at killing nameless mooks.

            1. burningdragoon says:

              Not to mention having some super badass counter kill animations.

        2. silver Harloe says:

          “Counters with a heavy weapon will always kill, but will leave the weapon in question almost always embedded in the weapon.” I see you were a fan of the “using peasants as weapons” concept from the beginning of ep 16.

          1. Ragyereio says:

            Woops. Typo. Though honestly I do often give minstrel corpses as presents for guards in order to invite them to a fun game of chase the assassin.

            The fact that the guards in question will leave their codexpages/treasure box unguarded in the process of starting that chase is naturally a fortunate coincidence.

            1. 4th Dimension says:

              For that you have thieves and courtesans.

              1. Raygereio says:

                That suggestion does not involve me killing minstrels via groin-stomping. It is therefore a bad one.

                1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                  You can kill the minstrel and present him to the courtesans as a bonus for their fine work.

                  1. 4th Dimension says:

                    I don’t think they’ll apreciate this kind of a stiff.

    2. 4th Dimension says:

      They differ mostly in speed of attack, reach and counter attack timing. Also while hidden blades are more potent, they arte a bit hit or miss because mostly you need to be in attacker’s face for Eyio to actually pull them out.

      Also I found hidden blades significantly reduced in effectivness in Brotherhood. They now require locking on a target most of the time.

    3. MrWhales says:

      It would help if Josh used anything other than the hidden blades for combat. I’m sure he could argue about it giving the cool assassinations, but they are so easy for the enemy to deflect that you might as well use the knives like I do, Ezio holds them with the blade down, so it makes it cooler.

  7. Michael says:

    Helping Leonardo get his inventions to work, giving advice on how to improve a new drink… Suddenly all I can think of is how much better this game would be if it was Terranigma.

    Quick, run outside and see if there’s a dude in a top hat who can tell you the economic growth index of Venice!

    1. Corpital says:

      This is completely different than the absurd Terranigma, where you got a machine with which you were able to fly and you could jump down from really high cliffs without dying.

    2. Alex says:

      Does Ezio talk to William Shakespeare before fighting the last boss?

      (*sigh* They don’t make games like they used to…)

  8. Peter H. Coffin says:

    Yeah, yeah. I know: Animus.

    Honestly, I don’t think Animus can salvage “obvious answer leads to instant failure” kinds of problems. Reasonable answers may thwart you, or block progress, or just plain Be Wrong, but actual failure’s a different kind of thing, and it shouldn’t bring you out of the game. That should be reserved for Screwing Up, not for going where the game leads.

    1. Mike says:

      Except the Animus isn’t about what would make sense, it’s about what Ezio did. If he was a dolt, and you’re trying to not be one, then you desynchronize with what he did and get kicked out of the memory.

      Its poor game design, but this is about the only game I’ve seen where it makes sense in-universe for stupid things like “you deviated from the pre-approved path” to actually cause you to “die”.

  9. Torsten says:

    Rosa already appears to be the mandatory tomboy latina love interest, I am sure TV tropes has her as an example.
    – tomboy figure
    – Italian/Spanish/ any other Latin ethnicity
    – curses like a drunken sailor on her native tongue
    – is hinted to be able to do something awesome the hero cannot, though we never get to see her doing it.
    – needs the hero to rescue her

    It is not a bad character archetype, but she seems to be yet another example of how a supposedly strong woman who gets handled poorly by the game developer. I am not much further in the game than the serie is, so maybe she’ll be an exception though.

    1. Troper says:

      This?

      Also, tvtropes link. You have been warned.

      1. Wtrmute says:

        Can’t tell, as you’ve conveniently forgot to include the “href” attribute on your link (or maybe it was mistyped and scrubbed out by WordPress).

        1. Shamus says:

          Yeah. WordPress. It faithfully conveys all the spam links and phishing URL’s, and then scrubs out all the nice little links to blogs and relevant sites. It even scrubs MY comments on occasion. Grrr.

          Grrr.

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            It is just trying to protect people from losing themselves in tvtropes.

          2. Eärlindor says:

            I’ll have to keep that in mind. I think it’s done that to me already.

        2. Troper says:

          Whoops, sorry. I’ve got no idea what you meant by that, so I’m just going to say I went with “Spicy Latina”. That, and I outran the edit time by a bit. /understatement

          1. silver Harloe says:

            Eight. Hours. EIGHT HOURS. I thought I spent 2, but then looked at the sunrise. Argh!

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Such a waste.You couldve beaten kane and lynch 2 twice during that time.

              1. Sumanai says:

                I suspect the time was better spent as it was.

                1. NihilCredo says:

                  He in fact stared at the wall for eight hours and it was still better spent.

    2. Winter says:

      I haven’t played the game, but i like her a hell of a lot more than i like Ezio. Maybe i’m a bad person?

  10. JPH says:

    Dressing like a fancy girly girl is my favorite part of any game! And I’m man enough to admit it.

  11. Kyte says:

    Damnit Josh you can BUY MORE THAT ONE ITEM AT ONCE. Aaaaargh!

    Ok, that’s my rant for today.

    Oh, and I’d be more sympathetic at the “can’t stray too far” if it weren’t true for every single escort mission AND they give plenty of warning. If you’re ignoring the warnings, well, it’s your own damn fault.

    1. Josh says:

      I’ve tried, but I can’t seem to get the controls to work for me on the PC version. On the 360 you just hit X to throw all of the items you can carry into the cart, but on the PC, hitting the equivalent button (left click) doesn’t seem to do anything.

      1. qwksndmonster says:

        Josh, if you’re going to start responding to comments like this, then SELL. THE. FUCKING. INCINERATOR.

        1. Shamus says:

          I’m pretty sure he made a backup of the NV savegame where he owns the incinerator, and burned that sucker to DVD. Maybe uploaded it to Dropbox. He will always own it now.

          1. Destrustor says:

            He has the game code identifier for it tattooed on his chest.

            1. Hitch says:

              Does AC2 have modding tools? If so, can someone make Josh an incinerator for Ezio?

              I’m sure Skyrim does. He needs one there as well.

              1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                That would require you to actually own the game,not just rent it.What do you think this is?The 20th century?

              2. noahpocalypse says:

                I just realized- the next Spoiler Warning game must be SKYRIM!!!

                But only in, like, a month or two. Maybe three. Don’t let Josh kill the game for everyone else immediately…

      2. Kyte says:

        Left/Right to select more than a single element. Oh, and the menus are, in general, far easier to control with the arrow keys. I’ve noticed you tend to have trouble selecting what you want ’cause the mouse-based scroll is kinda wonky.

        1. 4th Dimension says:

          That’s mostly because the menus move all the time. Though I do admit using keyboard is much faster in AC2 then using a mouse.

      3. Sheer_Falacy says:

        On the console you could also push right to increase the amount you were buying (that’s why you have to press twice to buy, once gives you the opportunity to pick how many).

        1. 4th Dimension says:

          On the PC right arrow adds more items, and then you buy them by pressing SPACE.

  12. Daemian Lucifer says:

    “Later, I failed (or nearly, I don't remember) because I got too far AHEAD of the boat, thus getting punished for being overly thorough and efficient.”

    Sorry,but when people complain how they went ahead of their objectives in asscreed and failed,it irks me.You are reliving these memories,this has all already happened.So your objective is never “Go ahead and do this thing youll have to do later to save time”,its rather “Stick as close as you can to how these things actually played out”.

    That said,however,the mission is pretty stupid,due to all the other things youve mentioned(everyone jumping out of the gondola like you stink,not clear objectives,etc).

    1. Raygereio says:

      You are reliving these memories,this has all already happened.So your objective is never “Go ahead and do this thing youll have to do later to save time”,its rather “Stick as close as you can to how these things actually played out”.

      That’s a really weak excuse for a horrible gameplay decision.
      Now I do get what the designers were thinking. By forcing you to remain close to the boat they’re trying to force a tense moment as the boat will always be in danger of a guard.

      However in practice it’s a bad design decision because it ends up being frustrating to the player. This isn’t a case where the player is trying to sequence break. You see the guard standing right there, just a short distance away. You know he’s going to attack the boat. But no you can’t kill him before he becomes a threat. You just have to wait and watch a boat move really slowly before your allowed to act.

      This isn’t the only example of this either. I recall various intances in the side missions where I had to follow someone and suddenly desynched without warning because I supposedly lost them, while the game meant: “Oh, you’re to far away from your target”. This even though I had the target right in the middle of my view.

      1. Kyte says:

        If you really, really wanna kill’im from far away, you’ve got throwing knives, you know.

        And there’s warnings for every single one of the desynch conditions. (Timer when you’re supposed to follow and you lose sight of’em, screen flicker when you’re too far) If you fail anyways, your game is bugged or you don’t know how to follow directions.

        1. Ragyereio says:

          If the screen starts to flicker you’re generally screwed anyway. A jump from one rooftop to another at the wrong moment will have the game already go from “screen flickering” to “you failed!” in mere seconds.

          1. 4th Dimension says:

            It shouldn’t. Unless the target is actively running away.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Nah,it can happen.You follow the target from the rooftops,the screen starts shaking,you try to catch up,but then ezio simply jumps in the wrong direction,and you lose.It happened to me loads of times,but it was always due to awful camera pointing the wrong way,so the controls get messed up.

              1. 4th Dimension says:

                I have to admit, it didn’t happen to me. Oh shure I lost my target couple of times while following them on rooftops (I followed ALL targets from rooftop), but mostly it was my bad. I couldn’t find my way around some square fast enough and I got desynced, but that was my bad.

  13. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Josh has finally repaired that armour.My ocd was ever growing at the sight of that red bar.Though it was unnecessary since he immediately bought a new armour piece.And why not go with metal?Its better.

    How did she got shot in the leg from the front when she was facing the wall?

    That jog at 8:28 is hilarious.

    Breaking the arrow before you pull it out actually makes sense,since arrows(usually)do have broad parts on both ends,and theres no need to widen the wound.

    He simply couldnt kill all those traitors himself.Hes a thief,and thats a job for an assassin.He cant just break the rules,you know.That would make him a criminal.

    1. Eärlindor says:

      Indeed, pushing the arrow through does less damage to the flesh. And in addition, you break off the feathered end because, well, they’re bird feathers–they’re dirty–helps prevent infection.

      1. Actually, pushing an arrow through is a big medical no-no. Almost always, the best thing to do is to cut the arrowhead out.

        Now, Rosa’s situation was different because the arrow actually WAS all the way through already, so you wouldn’t be creating a new injury or potentially slicing up tendons/arteries inside the leg. But if you run across someone who has been arrow-shot in real life, don’t try shoving the arrow through. Just don’t.

        1. Newbie says:

          Which is what he said…

  14. Jakale says:

    You know you’ve cemented that almost everyone has super upper bodies when the skill for getting more vertical distance on your climb is to pull yourself up with one arm so hard that you’re flung more than any foot or two-armed push could ever hope to accomplish.
    I’ll grant that maybe some ability is provided by swing momentum, but still.

    1. Bryan says:

      Yeah, as an amateur rock climber (top-roping mostly), the moves being made here are … shall we say … *utterly impossible* in this planet’s gravity.

      1. NihilCredo says:

        My favourite one is “jump AWAY from the wall at about a 120° angle to grab an outstretched pole or platform above your head”. (You can see it at around 12:10 in this episode.) Momentum? Never heard of such a thing.

  15. Rasha says:

    Don’t worry shamus that girl was just a rogue cell…

    Also you’re now imagining the implications of relatives sharing characteristics. That whole genetically engineered by cerberus thing? LIES!

    1. anaphysik says:

      Rogue cells are just an artifact of the Animus.
      Wait, no:
      The Animus is a rogue cell. Of itself. Brilliant! Goldun Riter Awward here I come!

      1. Rasha says:

        Question is now only where is the elusive man to incompetently lead our hero to death? Maybe a touch stupid and ineffective- NO NO NO EVEN DESMOND ISN’T THAT DUMB!

        1. “Illusive” please. “Elusive” is an appropriate nickname and doesn’t look nearly as stupid.

          1. Rasha says:

            Wasn’t his in game title elusive?

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Nope,illusive,because he has the illusion of being a smart guy.

  16. noahpocalypse says:

    Rutskarn, you’re missing so many quotes and other funny stuff!

    8:20- Josh goes “Hey, I have this woman.”
    What you should’ve said: How much for the woman? We want your woman; how about your wife? Or the little girl, eh? (From the Blues Brothers)

    11:36- Shamus: “And four, four would just be outrageous…”
    What you should’ve said: “And five… Is right out!” (Monty Python & Holy Grail (for shame on missing this one, Ruts…))

    14:14- Did no one notice that it looks(and sounds) like she’s giving birth?

  17. Johan says:

    They probably made the girl who got shot through the leg limp as fast as Ezio runs because playtesters probably complained that she was slowing them down.

    STOP SAYING GODDAMN ARCHERS, WE GET IT, THEY ARE DICKS, THANK YOU [/annoyance]

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Patrolling the rooftops of venice almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

      1. Johan says:

        Leonardo needs to hurry up with that “A-Bomb” he was talking about.

        By the way, Rosa says she already knows Ezio, did I flip over 2 pages at once? When did he meet her before? Or how does she know him?

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          If I recall correctly,the guild has been keeping tabs on you once you started gathering fame.

    2. Hitch says:

      I actually prefer escort quest NPCs who run ahead to ones that barely move. I’d rather have the challenge of keeping up than standing aroud waiting for them.

      C’mon, he hasn’t said “Goddamn archers!” nearly as much as “Stop shooting me!” during Fallout 3.

  18. Eddie says:

    Josh, you are my Nakama for having exactly the same reaction to me when people demand milk and sugar in their coffee, seconds after I thought of it, right down to to word “Pansy”.

    As an aside, nobody in Italy (well, all of Europe) really drinks milk and sugar in their coffee, and if you order Coffee you will get an espresso. In fact if you want a weak, milky, sugary coffee in Italy you have to order a CaffਠAmericana. This is so called because it’s how the American GI’s used to ask for it, watering down espresso shots with hot water and adding milk and sugar to match what they were used to back home.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      “As an aside, nobody in Italy (well, all of Europe) really drinks milk and sugar in their coffee, and if you order Coffee you will get an espresso.”

      Plenty of people here in the balkans do,and I have no idea why.I get the sugar,but milk?

    2. Mephane says:

      As an aside, nobody in Italy (well, all of Europe) really drinks milk and sugar in their coffee, and if you order Coffee you will get an espresso.As an aside, nobody in Italy (well, all of Europe) really drinks milk and sugar in their coffee, and if you order Coffee you will get an espresso.

      As a European (though not Italian) myself I can say that this might be true in Italy, but not in all of Europe. In Germany there is a distinction between a normal coffee and an espresso, they are not interchangeable. And plenty of people put milk and/or sugar in their coffee.

    3. Ragyereio says:

      European talking here. While I prefer my coffee black, it’s not uncommon for people to put milk and/or sugar in their coffee in the Netherlands.

    4. Aanok says:

      Yeah. The coffee we usually drink is dark, short and strong. If you buy it at a shop, it’s made with an espresso machine, while, at home, you would generally use a moka, which is cheaper and doesn’t produce any cream at all (Google up “Bialetti” or “caffettiera napoletana“). In the past, people just used to pour hot water over pulverized coffee in a pot.

      Sugar is an optional, really, and there are as many people who prefer their coffee “amaro come il fiele” (damn bitter), as there are those who like it pretty sweet.

      Milk is also an optional, though not a very popular one. Something which is very common is “caffellatte”, that is adding quite a bit of coffe to a cup of milk, but it’s strictly meant for breakfast.

      Finally, just as you said, a “caffਠall’americana” is an espresso diluted with hot water. I believe it to be an abomination and many people share my opinion: a coffee is meant to taste like coffee, otherwise it is no more than a “ciofeca”. Americanos are a somewhat more popular drink amongst women, though.

      Generally speaking, just as it happens with politics, it is quite rare to find as much as two Italians who share the same view towards their coffee :)

      1. NihilCredo says:

        Generally speaking, just as it happens with politics, it is quite rare to find as much as two Italians who share the same view towards their coffee :)

        Obligatory:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkInkNMpI1Q#t=3m37s

        :)

    5. Grudgeal says:

      Being vaguely European I know of plenty of people who put milk in their coffee around here. Not so much sugar, but we usually serve it with sugar cubes as an option for those who do.

      Mind you, me and those in my closest circle all drink tea and take no part in this ‘coffee’ malarkey so I’m hardly the most qualified to comment. And, incidentally, if you told us you wanted milk or sugar in your tea (with the honourable exception of Lapsang tea, to which milk is an acceptable/mandatory addition) we’d burn you as a witch. Or at least as an effigy. A slice of lemon is acceptable, however.

  19. BeamSplashX says:

    “Here is a new, lightweight saber for you, Ezio.”
    “You say that, but something’s missing. What if instead of being lightweight, it was made of light? Also, put a specialized magnifying glass atop my gun to help me shoot people from afar. And a powder version of fruit that could turn water into a delicious flavored drink would be great.”

  20. acronix says:

    Curiously, Ezio flirting with Rosa gets nowhere. I´m quite sure they dropped A Bridge On Her on Brotherhood since I don´t recall seeing her even once.

    1. 4th Dimension says:

      You don’t see her anywhere because brotherhood happens in Rome, not in Venice.

      Although even to me Rosa seemed like a big deal about nothing. Probably additional her’s content got dropped because of time constraints, so what we are seeing is a bit disjointed.

  21. 4th Dimension says:

    Did Alfredo? (Alberto?) seem to you a bit . . . effeminate or . . . girly? I’m not sure if it’s only me, and if it’s not, why did they do it?

    Maybe originally Venice section was supposed to be longer, and feature more Rosa and Antonio (possibly making Antonio Leonardo’s “friend?”), but later it got cut.

    1. Aitch says:

      No, it wasn’t just you thinking that. Something in his animations gives it away instantly. At that cutscene I remember thinking “Oh christcrackers, are we really going to have to go through some awkward scene where you meet his boyfriend and Ezio gets all flustered?”

      Considering this guy is introduced with Rosa, I’m guessing it’s more unfinished content. Or it got nixed as being too racy to bring up in a game where a guy goes around in an ostentatiously fabulous getup with a blazing red half-cape embracing every man he sees and who’s best friend is Leonardo DaVinci.

      Not that it would bother me on a moral or religious level, because I have very little of either, but on the level of gameplay… there’s a time and place for that sort of content, and what’s supposed to be an action-platformer doesn’t feel quite a good fit.

      Though I’m sure I’d laugh my ass off for eons to see Ezio get hit on by that guy and not understand why he could ever be suspect of anything except being the manliest of men, notorious amongst the courtesans for splitting his many women in twain and whatnot.

      And just to make sure, I really hope I didn’t offend anyone with this post. It just struck me as funny.

  22. Shawn P says:

    This is pretty much where I stopped playing this game, because I didn’t want to be subjected to more quests like that. I hope from watching you play I don’t see any more remnants of such gameplay so I can go back in and enjoy myself.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      If I recall correctly,there arent any more quests like this.There is one about tailing some people across the open though.And there is the capture the flag at the carnivale,which is a bit annoying.

      But the ending battle is quite satisfying,I hope spoiler warning will cover that one.

      1. 4th Dimension says:

        Yeah tailing those templars is annoying. Mainly because they go straight diagonally across St Marco square and you can’t follow them on rooftops which are on sides of square, because you will desynhronize (too far away even tough you can see them, but then again point of that mission was to listen in anyway).

        Belive it or not I only lost one flag in CTF, and had not much of a problem. And I’m the guy that hasn’t worked out counters until just before final mission.

        1. Pete says:

          The CTF memory gets a whole lot easier once you realise that you can shave a good ten seconds off your time if youre willing to sacrifice one medicine… on jumping to the street straight off the rooftop.

          1. 4th Dimension says:

            Yup. I did exactly that. And did it from the start because i had a LOT of experience with falling.

      2. Raygereio says:

        But the ending battle is quite satisfying

        I had really mixed feelings on the end battle. Spoiler Warning, I guess.

        Sure on the one hand it’s Ezio beating the crap out of the man who messed his life up in a nice brawl.
        On the other hand the fight ended up as Ezio – a man in the prime of his life – beating the ever loving crap out of an old, fat man. Or more specifically in my case: Ezio stomping on the groin of an old, fat man for 5 minutes straight while Ezio and fat man threw boss-battle-banter at eachother. It had a certain level of sillyness to it.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          “On the other hand the fight ended up as Ezio ““ a man in the prime of his life ““ beating the ever loving crap out of an old, fat man.”

          On the other hand?Wait,that is a bad thing?

          You forgot the plus,using the apple.

          1. Otters34 says:

            Well, it’s a bad thing if you want the have the last fight in the game be memorable or challenging in any way. Beating up Borgia is just a plain old anti-climax.

            The fight does nothing more than provide catharsis that the player has most likely ALREADY worked out on the over-long trip to the showdown. Odds are the cheap shots that they suffered along the way for the sake of the story will anger them far more than anything that wretch did.

  23. Aanok says:

    I’m not so shocked about Rosa’s miraculous recovery. I mean, they do instantly heal Ezio’s wounds with garlic and herbs, in this game, don’t they?

    1. 4th Dimension says:

      Also, It’s Animus. In real life Rosa probably took a week or so to recover partialy, but Animus is placing her there so you can replay that memory now, and not have to wait for recovery.

      After all, Ezio reportedly stays a full year in Venezia (or more?), but we are shown only couple of days. Apart from the parts we play, Animus thinks those other memories are unimportant.

  24. RTBones says:

    Completely and totally unrelated –

    Is Skyrim installed and running yet, Shamus?

  25. guy says:

    I declare that the black-haired thief girl with immunity to blood loss is Vin from Mistborn. Both because I am a huge Mistborn fan and because they both are black-haired tiny girls who steal things, run unnaturally fast, jump like they’re in a Mario game, knock over armored dudes twice their size, and don’t bleed out.

    Seriously, it’s uncanny. The only problem with this theory is that she requires outside help to deal with the guards.

    EDIT: The resemblance just keeps getting more uncanny. It looks like they even have the same haircut. Except Rosa is kind of an idiot and has poor taste in friends. And talks more. But seriously, that’s like the only difference

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