Spoiler Warning Half Life 2 Special EP10: How Not to Play Half Life 2

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 27, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 82 comments

May I present the next episode of our sickening, overly-sweet love letter to Gabe Newell:

Link (YouTube)

What WAS that guy gonna do with Lazlo, anyway? I really want to know.


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82 thoughts on “Spoiler Warning Half Life 2 Special EP10: How Not to Play Half Life 2

  1. Scott (Duneyrr) says:

    I love these intermissions. Are you going to do these episodes for the whole game? Then you could get an entire season out of it without having a constant stream of praise for Valve annoying your regular readers.

  2. Excludos says:

    How. do. you. find. all. these. bugs?!

    I have played through this game and both episodes hundreds of times, and it is very rare for me to find a bug. Josh just finds them everywhere!

    I also love how you keep finding these exploits. I pretty much only play through the game the way it was meant to be played. So funny watching you skip half of the car level by jumping over everything or running around.

    1. therandombear says:

      Ya…I have Orange Box on both xbox and PC…don’t judge me! I was young and foolish when I got the xbox version, but I have never experienced any bugs or glitches.

      With Josh they get drawn too him, like he’s a bug and glitch magnet. xD

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Josh has bug-master prestige class.

    3. MichaelG says:

      I was so annoyed by yesterday’s play of the bridge that I had to fire up the game and do it right. Sigh.

    4. webrunner says:

      I think his computer is just haunted.

    5. swenson says:

      Episode Two has an AWESOME way to break it that I discovered near where you get the car–if you are exceedingly careful, there’s a part where you can jump down onto the roof of a building below you. It will take you down to about 5 health, but you get to skip an entire complex filled with zombies. And technically, it’s not a bug, as there’s no glitches exploited at all!

      This is, however, pretty much the only (and by “pretty much the only”, I mean just “the only”) really serious issue I’ve ever found on my own, though. Which is an incredibly impressive thing.

    6. Finding bugs is a lot easier if you know the engine, then you can abuse sprinting, the gravity gun, physics etc for endless laughs, getting to places you’re not supposed to and generally breaking things.

      I almost found that car keeping bug, only the door got stuck, trapping both me and the car in the garage and I had to reload.

      I then tried to jump straight down to the cliffside path the way Josh was doing with the car, but after extensive testing there are invisible walls preventing it.

      1. Eärlindor says:

        I found a bug where I died when I parked the car in the garage.

    7. qwksndmonster says:

      Josh should be a QA tester for Valve.

  3. rayen020 says:

    honestly you guys could’ve ended the episode rightafter josh learned to fly and i would’ve been happy.

  4. Museli says:

    Spoiler Warning should be renamed ‘Josh Breaks Games’.

    1. therandombear says:

      Or, “How to break games 101, Lectured by Josh Viel”

      1. noahpocalypse says:

        Nah. It is an innate talent, borne only by a select few (namely him). It takes years of gaming to truly bring it out, and once brought out, untold horrors are created. Untold… Until now.

  5. Some Jackass says:

    All I can think of is Lazlow Jones in the sandtraps now, shouting profanity as hes torn limb from limb…

    1. X2-Eliah says:

      I always associate ‘Lazlow’ with the radio presenter in the GTA games. Especially Chatterbox in GTA3, that one was quite brilliant.

      1. qwksndmonster says:

        Yes. I do as well. You sire are a mastermind.

  6. Aanok says:

    These breaks are really good. Is Mumbles going join you in the future?

    1. noahpocalypse says:

      … Haha?

      They took the break because she wasn’t there. For whatever reason, she couldn’t come to Spoiler Warning, so they did this for a few hours.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Her boyfriend brought her the xbox,and she tossed him out(the guy,not the xbox)so she can play arkham city uninterrupted.She wont be available until she collects all the riddler stuff.

        1. noahpocalypse says:

          Man. They’ll be long done with Episode 2 before they can drag her kicking and screaming over the Internet again to make her suffer this. At least we’ll get a firsthand report of it from someone who isn’t paid to review games!

          Then again, considering her enjoyment of AC2’s combat taunts and how she likes the parts of games that many people find bad, maybe that isn’t such a good idea.

      2. Aanok says:

        I always thought they recorded SW a week early exactly for such kind of contingencies. Also, Mumbles’ blog is still steaming ahead, so I figured that she couldn’t have been ill as it was for when they started this spin-off. Furthermore, since there have been quite some doubts regarding Assassin Creed, I also though it likely that they where doing some kind of an intermission.

        My bad, I guess :)

  7. Friend of Dragons says:

    Yeah, I never had any trouble with the train on most of my playthroughs, but I just had one where it sent me flying like that something like 6 times in a row when i was trying to escape it. it was like it was spawning slightly early or something.

    1. Heron says:

      The first time I played HL2, I didn’t have trouble with the train. Last time I played, it took me a good dozen tries. I eventually had to go forward, trigger the train, run backward and hide behind the already-stopped train, and then move on after the moving train had passed by.

      1. Alastair says:

        Yeah… until I saw this, I had no idea you could beat the train. I always went “Oh crap, a train!”, turned around and fled back to the beginning and waited for it to pass.

        1. MrWhales says:

          Really? I always made the by-the-skin-of-my-teeth pass by it. I am amazed I get it the first shot too. Feels super badass

        2. Destrustor says:

          I saw the train, tried to flee, got killed and thought I may have been supposed to just race it instead.
          I didn’t think it was actually possible to trigger it AND go back to safety after.

          1. swenson says:

            You can, if you throw it in reverse and hit the turbo backwards. I think that’s the “right” way to do it, but plenty of people just race it. Although I believe a patch made it more difficult, unfortunately.

    2. Jamas Enright says:

      The only reason I had a problem with the train was because I was pushing the wrong damn mouse button! “I pushed the button, why aren’t I making it?”

  8. Daemian Lucifer says:

    What did you guys do with the sound in these 2 episodes?There wasnt any echo before,was there?

    So will you guys do the nova prospect during this week or not?Its a fun little assault.

    1. Shamus says:

      That was my fault. My daughter was sitting with me, watching the stream. I sent the sound to the room speakers instead of my headphones so she could hear both sides of the conversation. I thought if I turned it down far enough I could get away with it, but no.

      So, my bad.

      1. The_Unforgiven says:

        That’s ok. Since it was so that your daughter could watch and kinda-sorta-not really take part, we forgive you.

  9. Van Tuber says:

    I have to agree with you guys on the “hot lava” part of the game. It’s a cool idea on paper, but in practice its just tedious and dull. I’m surprised that this wasn’t cut from the game; did the playtesters actually enjoy it?

    1. X2-Eliah says:

      I kinda liked it for the first time. And it made the payoff of getting the pheromone sack as a weapon massively more enjoying. It’s a big set-up, basically.

    2. Destrustor says:

      I tried to get that sandtraps “floor is lava”-esque achievement at least twice. The second time looked perfect but to no avail. I realised there were two possibilities;
      1: I had to do it even more perfectly than I had achieved in FORTY MINUTES,
      2: you have to avoid the sand during the BOSS FIGHT at the end.
      Either way, screw those stupid measly gamerpoints. I think it’s worth something like 30 or even lower.
      No fun I’m gone.

      1. NonEuclideanCat says:

        Yeah, getting that one made the whole area an exercise in quicksaves and hyper-caution. I only had to load a quicksave, like, twice, but it took forever getting through it.

        And no, you don’t have to avoid the sand in the boss fight. The achievement triggers when you reach the part where you fall down into the “boss arena”.

    3. I’m actually good at first person platforming so I enjoyed it – it’s not an instant fail condition, there’s plenty of fun stuff to do with the gravity gun, and you can get a surprising distance just by jumping, and not even having to use the physics stepping stone technique until just before the boss fight.

  10. Hitch says:

    I love the “game over” screen Josh keeps showing us.

    Reason: failure to preserve mission-critical resources

    We can forgive Freeman for letting himself get killed. But dangit, he wrecked the car!

    Was anyone else hoping when Josh picked up the pallet and started talking about how that section was supposed to be done that he was going to run out, lure an antlion and send it surfing?

    1. NonEuclideanCat says:

      It’s a pretty hilarious disconnect. He took only 10 damage from the collision, but the car flew off to an “irretrievable” location, so fission mailed.

    2. AbruptDemise says:

      That has to be a new record time for ‘video start to catastrophic failure’ for Josh.

      That was, what, 32 seconds?

  11. SolkaTruesilver says:

    You know, there are other ways to take care of someone’s body rather than bury him. He could have burned him, or maybe thrown him to the sea after a summary funeral.

    What I felt sorry for, is that the base right behind you just been stormed and overrun by the Combine. So you effectively just left him alone, with no supply, on a cliff, between antlions and a Combine conquest.

    Without even telling him you heard the gunshots.

    1. Adam P says:

      There is also the old mainstay, cannibalism.

  12. HeroOfHyla says:

    Re: The part around 8 minutes:
    I just punt the car over the wall with the gravity gun.

  13. TJ says:

    Is it a reference to Laslo of Real Genius? Brightest mind of his generation that lives in Val Kilmer’s dorm closet?

  14. Ghost says:

    Lazlo is a reference to the movie “Real Genius” – Lazlo Hollyfield.

  15. Mitchell says:

    Strange…I don’t recall driving a dune buggy in Assassin’s Creed II. Did I miss an area?

    1. Imposing Snail says:

      It’s in the video game crossover: Need for Assassin’s Speed

  16. Peggy says:

    The guy with Laszlo shoots himself. At least that what’s we always assumed when we played since you hear a single gunshot after you go around the corner.

    As for what he’s a reference to we’re in disagreement in our household. My husband thinks it’s Victor Laszlo the leader of the French Resistance in Casablanca. I maintain it’s Lazlo Hollyfeld in Real Genius.

    Edit to say I am too slow. :) People beat me to it!

  17. Groboclown says:

    So, the Lazlo part wasn’t a reference to Howl?

    1. Paul Spooner says:

      Of Howl’s Moving Castle? No, why?

      1. discordance says:

        Of Howl, the famous beat poem. “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked…”

        I don’t think it’s a reference.

  18. anaphysik says:

    Okay, so Antlions come out whenever you touch the ground… but they’re totally fine with you throwing other items on the ground? And then you jumping on the planks, effectively disturbing the ground under them?

    Boy, antlions sure are picky. Or perhaps just sporting.

    1. Paul Spooner says:

      Yeah, that bothered me a lot too. It’s as if they have some sort of magical connection with the sand contacting the soles of your boots, but no other vibrations. On one hand your legs cushion a lot of the impact, so I could understand how they would be able to differentiate footfall from a crate hitting the sand. On the other hand, they should come out when you step on the rock, since rock transmits sound much better than sand.

      1. tengokujin says:

        The difference in materials at boundaries cause most waveform energies to reflect/refract, depending on the angle. This is most easily demonstrated by light through a prism, but sound has a similar thing going for it. It doesn’t matter how much better water transmits sound, sounds made in it don’t translate so well into the air above it and vice versa.

      2. swenson says:

        I wonder if they just… don’t like walking on other materials, because they can’t burrow through rock very easily? But when they come up, they have no problem with walking on rocks to eat you… I dunno. I suspect somebody was just a really, really big fan of Dune.

      3. Will says:

        What Valve were probably going for is the sandworms from Dune style thing where it’s the pattern of footsteps which brings them up.

        1. Slothful says:

          More like the sandworms in Tremors, who also did the “the floor is lava” bit.

          Come to think of it, this is the only case of creatures who live underneath the sand who are NOT worms that I can think of.

          1. Simon Buchan says:

            Dear sir, I present to you: the Land Shark: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulette

    2. I assumed the physics objects dissipate the pressure from your feet so they can’t recognize it as footsteps, or at least they think it’s something big walking around rather than Gordon. Kind of like how sharks attack things that thrash a round in the water like seals, but not boats.

    3. Daemian Lucifer says:

      That doesnt bug me.It kind of makes sense that they are triggered by different vibrations.Theyve learned how two feet impacting the sand sounds like,and they react ot that alone.What is bugging me,however,is that even if you crouch walk,which should be the equivalent of you either crawling or shuffling your feet,they still come out.

  19. noahpocalypse says:

    You know, my first time through the game, I had the exact same problem with the train that Josh did. I was hit, then I went flying. I failed to miss the ground, sadly. It really ruined the atmosphere, especially since I wandered around for 15 minutes before at the car battery part trying to find another battery.

  20. Exetera says:

    Aw, nuts. Now I’m trapped trying to punt the buggy onto that ledge. (Incidentally: got the buggy caught in the dropship’s loading ramp already. It ended up dragging me into the water. Also I have been crushed under the belly of the dropship, in the car.)

  21. @0:25

    I must go, my people need me!

  22. Slothful says:

    When I played through this game recently, I died to the train SO MANY TIMES. I actually looked it up, and according to the wiki, it was made impossible to beat the train in a patch.

    I’m not sure how Josh was able to pull it off. I was actually looking forward to the three of you being surprised at being unable to go fast enough.

    1. What, really? no wonder it took me several dozen goddamn times to actually get past it and not fall off the cliff afterwards post-patch. I thought I’d gotten worse somehow.

      It’s not impossible, just really hard.

  23. Tobias says:

    In defense of walking Shamus; the speedrun shows, that it is in fact faster to abandon the car.

  24. Tse says:

    And you didn’t even mention Concerned! I can’t believe it! Let me fix that for you: http://www.hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2006-04-05

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      I think they did in one of the first few episodes of the half life intermission thingies.

  25. swenson says:

    Josh, HOW?! I just… I just… I don’t even know.

  26. Irridium says:

    Shamus, I agree 100% with you on that tunnel.

    When I first went through it, I didn’t even get out of the car. I just panicked, floored it as hard as I could, and powered through the other cars all while shouting NO! NO! GO FASTER! RUN! AAAAAHHHHONSGHNGIOANOHJFDH!!!!

  27. Ateius says:

    So, you guys passed two of those little “environmental storytelling” tableaus that I remember being spoken of during the earlier intermission. The first is that zombie area in the tunnel; while Josh moved in too quickly to see it, the dead non-zombie people are A) holding hands and B) holding a pistol, which can be picked up as ammunition. Combined with the zombies outside and the cabinet blocking the door, it tells a sad tale of the only two left alive after a headcrab attack taking their own lives rather than end up like their comrades.

    The second is that “neat house” that got bypassed. The Combine are burning a pile of bodies in the front yard, and inside the house is all abandoned and spooky (save for the requisite headcrab zombie hidden in the attic). Combine carrying out executions in the countryside, or cleaning up after a headcrab outbreak? Given the number of abandoned homes, I suspect the former.

  28. anaphysik says:

    Also, re hiding in the buggy from zombies: it seemed like only the regular zombies could hit you; the fast ones were just lollygagging about, inadvertently making themselves hilarious. And even the regular zombies’ swipes seemed to only take off 1 health and 1 shield. You were fine.

  29. Eddie says:

    I actually kind of dislike the lighthouse battle because it makes the Combine seem like such dumbasses; they’ve got a fleet of dropships full of soldiers, so obviously their strategy is to send one dropship at a time and then slowly exit the dropship one soldier at a time, allowing me to stand to the side of the dropship with the shotgun and easily headshot them all.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      To be fair,those guys are humans with mutilated brains.They can have well planned assaults,which is something not dependant on individual soldiers,but when the time comes to execute them,which is dependant on individual soldiers,they fail.

    2. swenson says:

      I’ve noticed a lot of the scripted events in HL games do somewhat depend on the player going by their emotional reaction to things–you assume dropships full of Combine will be very scary, so you run away and hide from them, and by the time you venture out again, they’re all out and firing at you. Sometimes, just running headlong into things is really the best policy!

  30. Packie says:

    Wow Josh. just… wow.

    I’ve played through this game 5 times on 360, 3 times on PC. I’ve never, ever ran into a game breaking bug. I salute you sir for your incredible game-breaking abilities!

  31. wyatt1048 says:

    Oh, the battery puzzle. On my first playthough, I completely missed the building with the connections (despite the obvious wires). I thought it was a physic puzzle, and spent almost an hour piling up cars and metal sheets to from a ramp and eventually launch myself over the gate. Walking would have been quicker.

    1. karln says:

      Huh. I’d never seen the car battery in the car before. I’m aware of two others: one under an overturned bathtub (that for a long time was the only one I knew of besides the obvious one in the shack) and another up a tower, I think. That’s one highly redundant puzzle.

      I’m pretty impressed with that idea, BTW. Makes the puzzle much easier, while leaving first-time players to assume that they have cleverly figured out the one way to do it, no matter which correct guess they made.

  32. Johan says:

    I… really liked this level :/.

    It made a really nice change of pace, and the physics puzzles were fund in a “thank god I can do more with this thing than counterweights” kind of way.

  33. guy says:

    Man, did Valve create a special “Josh Edition” of HL2 after watching you guys or something?

    Seriously, how on earth?

    EDIT: OH GOD THE CAR BUG WAS ON PURPOSE! How else can you explain the gunship stealing it?

    1. dalek610 says:

      The Combine cleared out the rest of the rebels after you left, then found the car with the highly destructive semi-experimental weapon on it in the garage while they were doing clean up. They then pushed it outside for the ship to take back.
      After the game of rock paper scissors to determine who got to ride back in the buggy, of course.

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