Assassin’s Creed 2 EP3: And Then Something Bad Happened

By Josh Posted Friday Sep 23, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 180 comments


Link (YouTube)

You know, in retrospect, the title for last episode would’ve been better for this one. Oh well.

Also, we had another IMG Media UK claim on this video, but I disputed it immediately. Still, if youtube didn’t update immediately, it may be unavailable for a little while in countries that aren’t the US or UK (because that makes a bloody lot of sense). Let me know if there are any problems.

 


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180 thoughts on “Assassin’s Creed 2 EP3: And Then Something Bad Happened

  1. Sydney says:

    No IMG problems for me in Canada. It was blocked for me yesterday, so it looks like whatever you did worked.

    Jackasses.

    1. Jabrwock says:

      It doesn’t block me if I use my computer (I live in Canada). But if I try to use my AppleTV, which uses YouTube Mobile (grrrr), it gives me errors. Until this season I was able to watch the show on YouTube Mobile.

  2. Grag says:

    Shouldn’t youtube have some means to block users that do frivolous or unfounded copyright claims?

    Oh wait, then they would have to ban viacom..

    1. Raygereio says:

      The companies that abuse the system do have something to justify the claim.
      It’s a stupid justification, but apparently enough to get through the loopholes. I don’t know what IMG’s excuse is for claiming ownership over all manner of footage from Ubisoft and EA games, but Viacom for example got away with claiming copyright infringement on anything Halo related years ago, by stating some TV netwerk (SpikeTV I think?) they owned also showed footage from Halo 3.

      1. Factoid says:

        What I don’t get is what they stand to gain from this behavior? In Viacom’s case they are attempting to remove content from competing outlets to force people to view it through their own channels.

        Someone who doesn’t own Halo content has nothing to gain by blocking its viewing on other outlets. It makes no sense. I guess unless they have a lot of their own Halo videos on Youtube and they think eliminating the competition will somehow pump up their own viewership.

        1. Raygereio says:

          Ad placements and links to their own videos.

          1. sab says:

            Yeah, but you only have the option to either monetize or block. It doesn’t make sense for them to choose the latter.

            1. Raygereio says:

              From what I’ve gathered, the owner the video that’s being disputed has the choice of either rolling over and accepting it (and thus the video will be unblocked with ads), or going through the effort of fighting the claim.

              I’m guessing enough people don’t want to go through the hassle of filling out a bunch of forms that this crap is worthwhile.

  3. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    Video currently available in Canada.

    … beaten to the punch. Dangit.

  4. Newbie says:

    HEY!!! I’m Catholic… I’m an only child… I am offended…

    1. and for the time period they were discussing, it’s an historical fact that Catholic families were encouraged to have a lot of children

      1. ? says:

        For the time period everyone didn’t need to be encouraged. No birth control, high infant mortality rate meant that best way to have any children was to try to have as many and then some would hopefully survive. Plus lots of children means odds are that at least one of them will be willing to act as your retirement plan and you won’t die in a gutter when you are too old to work. Large families in ye oldie times are just as natural for Catholics as for Protestants and other religions.

        1. Well–yes and no. It really depended on a lot of factors, like whether the family could afford to support children, how healthy the parents were (barrenness was a *very* common problem), etc. etc. It’s really not ultimately any different from people choosing to have children nowadays. You’d have large families, and small families and people who never have kids, just like today.

          1. silver Harloe says:

            The poorer you were, the more you needed lots of children as additional labor – especially if you farmed.

      2. Nick Bell says:

        Catholics STILL are encouraged to have a lot of children. This is a key part of why birth control methods like the Pill and condoms are forbidden for Catholics to use. Got to keep the pews full.

        1. Wtrmute says:

          Now, see that last sentence there. That one is quite a bit offensive. There are lots of good reasons why the Church does not allow artificial methods of contraception, which I shan’t discuss here since this blog generally doesn’t allow religious discussion outside of some specific threads.

          I understand you were probably trying to be humorous, but prejudice is never funny.

          1. Raygereio says:

            @Wtrmute: I advice you learn history before condeming something as offensive or prejudiced.
            @Nick Bell: There’s a difference between the preaching of abstinence (which is still often being preached) and the preaching of breeding (which as far as I know the church in general has stopped preaching since a few decades).

            Edit: In case anyone quoted me while I editted this, I removed/reworded the bit that could be interpreted as antagonistic towards Catholicism for obvious reasons.

            1. Wtrmute says:

              History? Whatever for? If you say “got to keep the pews full”, you are implying that the only reason the ban on artificial contraception is in place is for selfish reasons of wanting more followers. To understand that, I only need the skill of reading comprehension, which is English, not History. I contend it is a false assertion, and moreso offensive because you assume ill will on the part of the Bishops where there is none.

              1. Shamus says:

                A sort of blanket reply to this whole thread:

                Yes, Nick Bell added a needless, slightly antagonistic dig at the end of an otherwise reasonable comment. Let’s just drop this and move on.

        2. Wes1180 says:

          My great great grandparents were both catholics and had 21-23 kids, yey history :)

          Also that IMG UK thing is stupid…

          Hey Josh, why can’t you just kill a pigeon for to get 100 feathers? Hey even 2 wouldn’t be that bad :P

          1. Wtrmute says:

            Well, my great-great-grandparents had 8 kids who reached adult age (I don’t recall how many died as children) and were Presbyterian; that’s the most out of all my (Catholic or Presbyterian) ancestors I know of, which is everyone four generations in all directions. That’s not the point, though. I’m not arguing that the Catholic Church isn’t against artificial contraception (it is), or that it encourages its faithful to have many children (it does, after a fashion). What I argued was the implication that it does so simply to increase its own power by having more followers, which is ridiculous.

            1. Wes1180 says:

              Sorry if it came across as if I was arguing, just felt like stating a fact for fun, but in retrospect probably not such a good idea huh?

              Also how did you reply to me before I posted, going by the times… huh weird

        3. lurkey says:

          This is a key part of why birth control methods like the Pill and condoms are forbidden for Catholics to use.

          Only, you know, not.

  5. ACman says:

    Come-on. Italian lagnuage it up!

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Sà¬, diaci l’italiano, ora!

      1. 4th Dimension says:

        That… makes no sense at all… Or maybe my Italian has rusted away.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          No,its babelfish.Its supposed to make no sense.

          1. Methermeneus says:

            What we need is Bad Translator:
            “Come-on. Italian language it up!”

            …57 translations later Google gives us:

            “E Yu. E l’Italia;” (It Yu. And Italy;)

            “Come-on. Italian language it up!”

            …57 translations later Google gives us:

            “àˆ arrivato in Italia” (“He arrives in Italy.”)

            57 because Bad Translator’s max is 56 and it ends in English, so I fed it through Google one more time to end in Italian.

    2. Mushman7272 says:

      Agreed

      1. Aldowyn says:

        I’m pretty sure you can still do English subtitles for the very reason they want to.

  6. Lalaland says:

    Available in Ireland and possibly France (looking at it in work and our proxy boxes are based in France)

  7. noahpocalypse says:

    1. You can die from falling. It’s not very easy though- you can survive about twenty feet with one block of health left.

    2. I think you guys make Josh do all the work in this outfit. He plays all the games and does all the editing.

    You deserve a little trolling.

    1. SlowShootinPete says:

      I died from falling while trying to get down from that enormous tower Josh climbed in this episode.

      That was before I realized there’s always a hay cart under those overlooks.

  8. Pete says:

    Surviving ridiculous falls? Animus did it. Odd quirks with the italian speech? Animus did it. No matter how poorly or well you play, the cutscenes play out the same way? Animus did it. Failed a mission and had to rewind time animus did it animus animus animus!

    Best plot device ever. Seriously.

    EDIT: Wolf ninjas. Huh. Looking forward to Brotherhood now.

    1. Simon Buchan says:

      Even, better, they’re Romulan wolf ninji!

      1. Nick says:

        Also, I hope Rutskarn is trolling by asking if wolves are in Italy given the Romulus and Remus myth of the Romans: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romulus_and_Remus

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          That was in rome,and we are talking about italy.Its a completely different country.Learn you geomagraphy.

          1. krellen says:

            Dangit, another job stolen from Americans. We don’t even get to be the ones mocking ourselves any more.

          2. PSJ says:

            Rome is the capital of…

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Romania?

              (sorry to all my romanian neighbours,but it was too good of an opportunity)

              1. Wtrmute says:

                Interestingly enough, through Late Antiquity and the early Middle Ages, the term Romania was used to refer to all the regions where Latin (or, more properly, Vulgar Latin) was spoken. So in the very early period, you could say its capital was indeed Rome…

        2. Zukhramm says:

          Just because there were wolves there in at one time does not mean there are in others.

      1. Unlike Altiar, Ezio did get injured at some points in the game, so it boosts synchronization to buy and use health kits. It really does make less sense that Altiar had regenerating health.

        1. Aldowyn says:

          because that whole idea assumes Altair NEVER, NEVER got HIT in a fight. Or fell a little too far. Or ANYTHING.

          1. Someone says:

            Well, he lived to “tell” the tale, so…

          2. Pete says:

            Well presumably Altair was a LITTLE more careful than a player that is at any point ten seconds away from getting a free life with no repercussions whatsoever. And was actually stealthy and such.

    2. SleepingDragon says:

      To be perfectly honest I kinda liked the animus explanation for a lot of things. I mean, it worked fairly well in integrating large portions of the game mechanics (such as returning to checkpoints on death) with the in-game universe, which is a nice touch.

      I’m even fairly sure that they accounted for the fact that you can do stuff differently by stating (in the first game) that the animus reconstruction is an approximation and as long as the key moments are good you’re good (as in: it doesn’t matter what actual path you take to the assassination target as long as you do kill them).

      With that in mind the whole Italian thing was kinda tiring and felt too much like “ooh, lookie us, we know other languages!”

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        To be fair though,they do say that it is a glitch in the translating software of the animus.Also,its a nice touch because in the first game you are in the abstergo animus,and everyone speaks english,but in the second game,you are in a patchwork animus,and everyone is speaking a mix of english and italian.

        1. Aldowyn says:

          They still had accents though.

          The animus is a really cool plot device, I agree.

          I especially like how they mention somewhere in AC1 (may even have been the manual) that it was surprising how well people took to the Animus once they integrated video-game like controls (the whole head-left arm-right arm-feet thing is supposed to be in universe too. Or something. Doesn’t make sense, considering you’re strapped to a table)

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            But it does if animus simply severs the connection between your brain and the rest of your body,and instead uses them for its virtual world.

        2. SleepingDragon says:

          I know the justification for that. My point was that while other stuff explained with “animus did it” was largely to integrate the game interface into the game world I do not consider this particular “glitch” useful in any way. I imagine someone in Ubi thought it would improve the thrice cursed immersion but for me it just broke the flow of dialogue and was annoying.

  9. noahpocalypse says:

    1. You can die from falling. It’s not very easy though- you can survive about twenty feet with one block of health left.

    2. I think you guys make Josh do all the work in this outfit. He plays all the games and does all the editing.

    You deserve a little trolling. :D

  10. Hitch says:

    Okay, I was beginning to worry that this was a horribly inaccurately named game about the history of UPS. But at least the end of the episode contained a strong hint that someone may die.

    Um… Romulus and Remus are not just planets in Star Trek. The founders of Rome. Raised by a she-wolf. Subtle hint about there being wolves in Italy. You need to step it up a bit in your dubious history lessons.

    Now we know why Italian cars are so small. They have to fit down streets that were originally required to be narrow enough to jump from one roof to the next.

    I am enjoying the Parkour as a welcome change from bunny-hopping.

    1. Josh says:

      I know, I’ve been kicking myself for that brain fart ever since I made it. Especially since I’ve been playing brotherhood and fighting a bunch of damn Roman wolf-cultists.

    2. Hitch says:

      A question occurs to me. (I haven’t played the game.) Is it possible to get home from these Fed Ex quests by simply walking along the streets, or does the game require you to Parkour across the rooftops?

      1. Jeff R. says:

        It’s possible. But you have to either walk slowly, walk slightly faster while robbing everyone you see (and occasionally alerting guards), or run headlong through crowds and get knocked to the ground colliding with people, which also sometimes gets the guards riled. Also, there are minstrels on ground level. All in all, parkouring is a better way to get from place to place.

      2. Pete says:

        The pigeon coop is on a rooftop, so yes, youll have to climb to the roofs at SOME point. But I suppose you could walk all the way up to that building through the streets. For some reason.

        EDIT: Gah! Ninjas!

      3. Nick Bell says:

        I believe all locations have “accurate” streets. It is technically possible to walk to every location in the game. Some are closed off by gates and the like, but there are no illogical buildings without streets nearby.

        1. Methermeneus says:

          Assasin’s Creed: Hattuša! Nothing but roofs!

          1. Wtrmute says:

            Heck, I’d play that game, if nothing else than for the mess they would do of the Hittites…

            1. Methermeneus says:

              It’d be awesome! Other cities could include Neša (Kanesh), Wiluša (Troy), Ugarit, and Sumer. Maybe a side trip into Assyria to visit Aššur or Nineveh.

  11. Harry says:

    I love the fact that, thanks to Josh being a bit of a history buff, the other three are finally getting some counter-trolling in. “Pavlov won’t be born for THREE HUNDRED YEARS!”

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      What about his cat?

      1. krellen says:

        Schroedinger had the cat.

        1. Eleion says:

          Wait, I thought Pavlov was the guy who put his cats in a box, rang a dinner bell, had a random chance of releasing poison into the box, and then checking to see whether the cat was alive and salivating or dead.. and um…

          Who am I thinking about?

          1. X2-Eliah says:

            Both, actually. Schroedinger had the cat that was alive and not-alive, and Pavlov had the drooling dog.

            1. Someone says:

              I always thought Schroedinger was the guy who electrocuted the elephant.

              1. Warren says:

                No, no, you’re thinking of Alexander Graham Bell, the guy who invented the microwave.

                1. SleepingDragon says:

                  That was Mumble’s grandfather… waaaaitaminute…

                  1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                    You mean Mumbles is the owner of the taco bell?

          2. krellen says:

            Pavdinger and Schroelov.

        2. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Wasnt he the guy with the gorillas?

          1. Eltanin says:

            No, that was Dr. Doolittle.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Wait,he wasnt the one with the glasses?

  12. Species5618 says:

    No problems watching from the Netherlands. Either this one or episode 2.

  13. zackrid says:

    Is that an old Italian assassin ancestor of Reginald Cuftbert’s at 16:40?

    1. Museli says:

      I don’t think so. That guy looked like he was sober, which is unheard of for all Cuftberts throughout the ages. Speaking of which, if Ezio wants to get drunk, does he drink Assassin’s Mead?

      1. Milos says:

        Then he gets arrested for drunkenly riding an Assassin’s Steed.

        1. swimon1 says:

          Which he fed assassins feed naturally.

          1. Museli says:

            Was it just a regular horse, or was it an Assassin’s Breed?

            1. lupus_amens says:

              Not sure, but it fills an Assassin’s Need.

              1. Reet says:

                Of course, It’s up to an Assassin’s Speed.

                1. Corsair says:

                  For that horse of his, does he have an Assassin’s Deed?

                  1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                    Who cares?Here,smoke some assassins weed.

                    1. Destrustor says:

                      You need to chill out when your assassin’s peeved.

                  2. tengokujin says:

                    He’s adorned it with Assassin’s beads.

    2. droid says:

      The Punnisher approved this game even though he had never played it based only on its title.

  14. Kinda miss the end credits that you guys had for the previous series.

    But the game looks like fun so far, and very pretty.

    1. Cerapa says:

      The end credits are now the beginning credits.

      1. Dante says:

        [Hipster]Because the end is the new beginning[/hipster]

  15. Boison says:

    Great episode; reckless but somehow competent gameplay, shrewd observations, and toe-curling puns. This is looking good.

    I agree with a few of the other comments, in that I miss the end credits. Maybe just a short thing at the start (maybe some your names at the bottom of the screen at the start of the actual gameplay) and then a big end credits bit. It’s nitpicking, of course.

    1. Simon Buchan says:

      I dunno, I’m a fan of front-credits. For end-credits, I feel weird both skipping them and waiting them when I’ve (largely) seen them 20+ times.

      1. Nick Bell says:

        My only complaint about no end-credits is that the videos tend to just cut off, often without any real warning. Since I tend to listen more than watch Spoiler Warning, this can be really confusing, making me think something went wrong. Maybe just a short ending screen and theme?

        1. SleepingDragon says:

          I kinda agree, the endings feel a bit sudden like this. Not sure if changing the formula once the season actually started is a good idea but I liked the end credits more as well. Plus I really liked the tune on the credits for the NV season.

          1. Raygereio says:

            It feels especially sudden when the video ends with Rutskarn in midsentence.
            Heck, he was in midword.

            1. Aldowyn says:

              That’s normal. And it was one of his awesome one-liners, too.

              “Or you could just kill a pig-“

  16. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Grande episodio, tipi. Osservando in avanti a Josh che non abbracciano Leonardo ed a tutto che lo attaca in seguito per esso.

    1. Pete says:

      Now why does this give me flashbacks to Blood money?

      1. Aldowyn says:

        WHY is it so fun to say random Italian as if you’re speaking gibberish?

        Try it!

  17. RTBones says:

    So, to recap –

    Sex.
    Boobs.
    Violence.
    Big Catholic familes.
    Sex.
    Boobs.
    Violence.
    More sex.
    More violence.
    More boobs.
    Even bigger Catholic familes.

    Yeah, thats the Rennaisance in a nutshell.

    Oh, and I said Boobs. Three times (well, four now.)

    1. Hitch says:

      Speaking of boobs, it was interesting that Mumbles was the first one to mention them in the video. We all missed the dialog because we were staring at them, but none of the guys wanted to admit it.

      1. krellen says:

        Mumbles has previously admitted to liking boobs.

      2. Peter H. Coffin says:

        Nah, I was just wondering how she managed to have only the one little cluster of plague pustules on otherwise clear skin, AND was permitted to walk around. Black Plague was pretty much was a “show up every 20-30 years, kill off like 10% of the population in 2-3 years, die back down for a while” thing throughout the 14th-17th Centuries, and was pretty much at the beginning crest of the second, more recurrent, wave at the setting of the story. The reactions of Ezio are pretty appropriate.

        1. swimon1 says:

          Wasn’t it supposed to be syphilis tho? I might be mistaken on the std but from what I understand it leaves small black spots and was very common at the time. They were often called beauty marks (now meaning moles) because it was common amongst the nobles it also stiffens the joints which is why holding your pinky finger out is considered refined/snooty. Although all of that could be bullshit since I learned it in high school and if the history education is as accurate as the science education then it’s probably a bunch of horse apples.

          EDIT: I seem to have been rambling. This is the essence of what I intended to say: maybe it was something else than black plague?

        2. I was going to say, from what I understand Black Plague in the lymphatic form leaves enormous black buboes, not little spots. And it certainly is contagious.

          Depending on what form it takes, as well, it kills off far more than 10% of the population. In the pneumonic form, it kills upwards of 90% and spreads like wildfire. Plague-related dieoffs may be responsible for giving Europeans a small measure of HIV resistance.

  18. ClearWater says:

    “These people based their communications on the Harry Potter books”

    Nuh uh! Harry Potter used owls, not pigeons.

    1. Milos says:

      Pigeons evolved from owls, get your history straight.

      1. Indy says:

        And owls hatched from coconuts brought to Europe by the first carrier bird, the African Swallow.

        1. Audacity says:

          What utter bollocks! Everyone knows it was a European Swallow, why would an African bird want to travel to Europe?

          1. Raygereio says:

            To deliver the coconuts. Duh.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              But can the swallow carrying a coconut fly fast enough to outrun the owls?

              1. rofltehcat says:

                Naw.. it was a stealth swallow. So it travelled only by day!

    2. Someone says:

      Are there owls in Italy?

      1. ehlijen says:

        We’re OWL exterminators :D

        1. Wes1180 says:

          I had to say that in a stupid voice a couple times to remember what that was from :)

          I love futurama

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            Shut up you!*slap*

  19. Jakale says:

    Back around the time the first game came out I ran into a cartoon that did the calculations for how much hay would be required for some of the jumps. I can’t seem to find it now, but I think one of the taller jumps would have needed a haystack around 3 stories high.
    Edit: Found it. Bottom of the article. Man, was my height memory wrong.
    http://kotaku.com/5296222/kotaku-bureau-of-weights–measures-studies-fallout-physics-also-beer

    1. I think your calculation methodology is erroneous where it comes to the hay, because stuntmen do jump from high places into air bags with little to no injury. In fact, people HAVE jumped off taller than 40 story buildings onto parked cars and walked off afterward–this is one of the reasons why jumping off buildings is illegal.

      The relevant figures are not how much force the hay/bag/whatever can exert to bring you to a stop, but how much it can *absorb* and deflect away from the person. Pavement will stop you with minimal damage to itself even if you achieve terminal velocity, but that’s precisely the problem–it doesn’t deform, so all the damage is done to the person hitting the ground. A gas bag, on the other hand, can deform a great deal and thus absorbs far more force.

      1. Raygereio says:

        True, but an air bag is something completely different from a pile of hay or rose pettles when it comes to absorbing momentum.
        The former can absorb far more then the latter.

        Also, sure people have survived jumps from great heights. But those tend to be rather extreme cases. In general when a real-life human would jump from a 40 story building without landing on something that can absorb enough enough of his momentum, that won’t be followed up with that same person walking it off like nothing happened. Especially not if you’re doing it dozens of times in a row like our buddy Ezio.

        1. acronix says:

          This is one of those games in which one of Leonardo`s inventions worked. Physics are the least of our problems.

      2. Zukhramm says:

        It’s not only important that is absorbed but that it is absorbed over a distance as large as possible. What we want is for the velocity to decrease as slowly as possible (which in the case Ezio is pretty much the same as reducing momentum since Ezio’s mass is constant), that is, to keep acceleration as small as possible. The smaller acceleration, the smaller force acts on Ezio.

        Now, I know physics, not biology, so I don’t know how strong forces a human can take and just instantly shrug it off but that hay is probably not enough.

      3. Daemian Lucifer says:

        “people HAVE jumped off taller than 40 story buildings onto parked cars and walked off afterward”

        And one stewardess fell out of a plane in mid flight and survived,which doesnt mean its not lethal falling out of a plane.

        1. Destrustor says:

          What? you can’t just walk out of a plane when it passes over your destination? I always assumed thats how air travel worked.

    2. Sumanai says:

      Ugh. I really hate the Fallout 3 weights mentioned there. I know that Bethesda has explained that in their games the weight of an item is a combination of its actual weight and how uncomfortable it is to carry, but I’m not buying that explanation. It seems pretty obvious they’re just throwing numbers around without checking them out.

  20. krellen says:

    After watching this video, my hands hurt.

  21. Jeremiah says:

    “I need to play this other game where you play a philanderer dude who goes around sleeping with people then murdering other people.”

    So… The Witcher?

  22. Rax says:

    Ah translation issues. Ever tried watching a World War II movie in german?
    Not in the slightest confusing, especially when the allies speak just normal german and the germans speak “what the filmmakers thought germans of that era spoke like”, because the localisation team thought “hey, we don’t need to do the german parts again, they’re german already!”

    Edit: Okay, that’s not really true for most World War II movies, because most of them have this “See here, this is a german soldier who has never heard, read, written or said an english word in his life. You can tell by him having a german accent while speaking perfect english!”-thing going on. (Kinda like this game)

    1. Lalaland says:

      That sounds awesome, ruins the mood I’d imagine but in an hilarious way

    2. 4th Dimension says:

      Yugoslav Partizan movies, used to have all ocuppying forcess speak in their own tounges. So in the middle of a movie where everyone speaks Serbo-Croatian, you would get a longish scene where bad guys are ploting… in German, woth NO subtitles. While you would understand a thing or two (them screaming Partizanen banditen! usually) and get that they are evil, what they are saying is a mystery to non German speakers.

    3. swimon1 says:

      That sounds hilarious ^^. Like that scene in buffy the vampire slayer where the speak… Northern European Not Englishâ„¢.

      I have no idea what language they’re supposed to be speaking but it doesn’t sound in any way like Norwegian, Danish or Finnish. I don’t know what kind of weird alien language the speak in the baltics but it can’t possibly sound like that (also the dialogue seemed to imply that it wasn’t set in the baltics). After listening to this incomprehensible gibberish for like 5min I heard someone saying fantastic while putting so much emphasis on the c it sounded like a 5 year old trying to really pronounce that k in mortal kombat. Shocked the realization slowly crept over me that they were actually trying to say “fantastiskt” and they were actually speaking swedish. Horrified that someone would do that to my native tongue I started to laugh, a lot.Seriously it couldn’t have sounded less swedish if they started to put a southern twang in everything they said.

      I can never trust foreign languages in movies/games again. Sure assassins creed 2 sounds like italian to me but how do I know it’s even understandable to real italians?

  23. Lalaland says:

    The clothing is actually pretty close to what would have been worn around then. Most images that have survived from that period are portraits of the wealthy or biblical scenes rather than life scenes which became popular in later periods so they have a tendency towards opulence and sobriety. It’s reasonable to assume that if you lowered a few neck lines you wouldn’t be too far off what a prostitute might wear to attract custom.

    I found a pretty good collection of images at this costume site
    http://realmofvenus.renaissanceitaly.net/

    1. Eärlindor says:

      Yes, the clothing is pretty accurate in this game. Concerning the whores: at one point in Italy’s history, it was required by law that all prostitutes had to follow a certain dress code, and were only allowed in certain areas of the city. It’s been a while, so my knowledge is a little shaky, but that’s the gist of it.

      1. Dmk7001 says:

        The in-game codex thing talks about this, as far as I can remember there aren’t any restrictions yet but they are not far off. In fact the in-game codex has alot of historical information about the people and buildings which I assume is accurate.

    2. LadyTL says:

      One has to wonder then why they went with the not historically correct popped collar for Ezio. Unless they were going for Desmond secretly wants to be on that Jersey Shore show.

  24. Destrustor says:

    Mumbles: boob-loving renaissance pimp.

  25. zob says:

    Ok let’s start simple

    Jumping into haystacks: inherited assassin skill (a wizard did it)

    Translation issues (game): Animus translates speak to conform to user (as in Desmond) If some Italian words doesn’t get translated it means that Desmond knows/understand that word and and it doesn’t needs translating.

    Translation issue (general): I’m generally pissed about whenever somebody comes and say something like “movie germans have english with german accent”. I’m pretty sure they are capable of making them speak german and use subtitles. But, most people doesn’t want to watch something while trying to read subtitles. And reading subtitles most of time distracts people from the action in the movie/game. I remember Shamus mentioning having this problem with subtitled Animes in his earlier posts.

    Everything so far (and probably next episode) is tutorial. You’ll need to carry stuff to blend in so it’s shown now, You’ll need to race again time so that mechanic is shown. Your sick brother is shown caring for those feathers and that’s the last thing he wanted from you(ezio) so thats your excuse to collect feathers (frankly it’s as good as it gets when we look for an explanation for a collection mission). Also you are slowly getting fed some plot points.

    Considering the repetitive and implausable gameplay, I’m thinking that this game is a bad choice for spoiler warning crew.

    1. Someone says:

      At least they don’t have to scan for minerals…

    2. Eärlindor says:

      Actually, Lucy or one of the other characters explains the translation issue, it’s a simple glitch.

      As far as the crazy Assassin skills go, in AC: Brotherhood, it’s strongly implied that the Assassins come from a line that’s not entirely human.

    3. Actually, one of the things I liked so much about Inglorious Basterds was that everyone spoke the appropriate language at the appropriate times. I found it really suited the style of the movie very well, and it made the scene where the British Leftenant gives them away really, really good.

      1. GiantRaven says:

        Hands down my favourite scene in any film ever!

    4. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Speaking with a stupid accent can be great for works of comedy though,like alo alo.

  26. Thomas says:

    I’m haven’t done enough research to be completely sure but I’m pretty sure prudity cycles more than we’d like to admit, because we’re on a up cycle now all the conservatives like to complain about society degrading and all the liberals about society improving, when society repeating might be more accurate.

    I mean even over the last hundred years in film, I’m pretty sure the start of film was more explicit than even a lot of stuff produced right now.

    The Georgian Era (I think) is famous for being pretty unprudish and that comes before the Victorian era

    1. Indeed. Keep in mind that before industrialization clothing was FAR more expensive than it is nowadays. Prior to the Victorians, even nudity just wasn’t that big of a deal. People mostly slept naked, and having your own bed was often a luxury. The wealthy had servants who did everything from shave you to give you a bath.

      It’s hard for most of modern Americans to imagine pre-Victorian attitudes on nudity and clothes. I got some exposure to (probably similar) attitudes while I lived in Germany years ago. They certainly don’t have any of the stupid BS I encounter sometimes with guys yelling “AHHH AHH I SAW NAKED GUY BUTT!!!” and similar. (I understand that much of that is joking, but what a stupid thing to joke about.)

  27. SougoXIII says:

    What is this? An hour in the game and no one get stab in the neck? I demand a refund!

    Seriously though, I’m glad that the plot have finally get going. I wanted to get to the Assassination bits and see how would Rustkarn react to someone who’s (potentially) worst at killing people than him.

    1. Pete says:

      Hm, lets see… theres visiting Giovanni at the prison, obtaining the stuff from the hidden room, delivering a letter to Umberto, observing the execution (and losing the sword), learning (slowly) how to blend in and decrease notoriety, and getting Leonardo to fix the hidden blade before any assasinating takes place.

      Gonna be a few more episodes at least.

      1. Eärlindor says:

        Yeah, AC2 starts off a little slow, I’ll admit. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it might have been a little long in the case of this game?

        I’m kinda on the fence about it.

    2. acronix says:

      AC doesn`t let you be such a happy-stabbity-stab guy. If you stab civilians you get a Non Standard Game Over screen because “Ezio didn`t kill civilians.” I think you can kill two in a row, at most, and then you have to wait five or so minutes before killing the next two.

      However, nothing stops you from murdering every single guard in town as you cross them.

      1. littlefinger says:

        Refraining from killing certain NPCs gets really really hard though. Especially the heralds. God, those bastards deserve it.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          I think they are even worse than the beggars.Though its a close call between the two.

          1. Entropy says:

            I find a good friendly punch in the face generally does the trick.

            1. Pete says:

              You can grab and throw people, including bards.

              Everyone except Ezio has super drowning skills.

  28. Joe says:

    Shamus, about using AC2 as a history teacher, I actually had an AP euro teacher say that the vague familiarity you get with the renaissance italy setting from the game helps with actually learning about the time period. They did a pretty good job with the setting, apparently.

    Also, because I had played this game, I was a lot more interested in actually learning it. Tangential learning for the win.

    1. RTBones says:

      Tangential learning rules. :)

      I’m fascinated by history anyway, but its nice to see that the devs got quite a bit right. Also, if you have ever been to Florence, there is a lot of landscape/architecture you’ll recognize.

      I’m also fascinated by languages, and while I havent played the game (*cough* I hate Ubi DRM *cough*), I think the Italian phrases you hear/see used are a nice touch.

      1. Aldowyn says:

        I’m on an Academic Team where we answer questions about all kinds of crazy stuff, and at LEAST twice now I’ve answered the question that’s basically “who was the banker family that essentially ruled Florence in the Renaissance” era at LEAST twice now. (Medici)

    2. littlefinger says:

      If someone wants to learn about medieval military, no better teacher than Age of Empires.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        What about total war?

      2. acronix says:

        There we`ll learn that, contrary to popular belief, the mayans and aztecs had access to weaponry such as onagers, crossbowmen and trebuchets.

  29. It wouldn’t really occur to me that the men who took your father and brothers would have raped your mom. They might have slapped her around a bit, sure, but your sister and the maid were right there, too.

    Not that I think the men of the time period would be against such things in any principled fashion, it just sounded more like they were in a hurry and more interested in other matters at the time.

    1. Sumanai says:

      You’re mixing logic with melodrama there. I agree with your view on what happened, but making sense has never prevented bad story tellers from inserting stuff for the sake of drama. So it could very well be either way.

  30. Drexer says:

    I started watching the episode but I have to go away for a bit. Before I forget though.

    Josh, you are hereby commanded to put the game in Italian. Because it’ll be awesome like that.

  31. EDIT : Damnit. That was meant as a reply to Jennifer Snow. I don’t know how I missed the “reply” button…

    If I understood your comment right, you’re saying that men from the Renaissance would not rape women…
    Well, this is far from the truth. For centuries in Europe, a woman’s body was never considered hers, she was the property of either her father, her brother or her husband. Rape was sadly very common in those days and was not considered as “rape”. A man caught raping a woman would get… A fine. Or pay the father or husband a certain sum to escape justice because a daughter was considered a business opportunity for a father but she had to stay a virgin and that’s why… Sometimes a raped girl was force to marry her rapist. Those were really dark times for women.

    And I really hope you meant what I think you meant or that post would be totally useless…

    1. Sumanai says:

      But it doesn’t make sense in the situation. What do you think they did? In, out, done? Biology doesn’t work that way.

      And being shocked for getting hit isn’t exactly impossible either. People have rather strong emotional responses for “normal” violence.

      That said, there are many story tellers who are not above using rape just to insert drama into a work.

  32. StranaMente says:

    I’m italian and I’ve been to all the places mentioned in this game and I can tell you:
    1) The language, as you might have guessed is wrong, not only the accents (that make me laugh and cringe at the same time) but words and syntax.
    It’s not even like the old uncle from the States that comes back and tries hard to speak italian or dialect; it’s clearly american actors trying (and failing) to imitate italian. It’s on the level of Super Mario Bros. Seriously.
    2) The most important places are real, but the distances are all greatly off. Everything is really cramped together, and most of the buildings are smaller than the real counterparts. And between the important buildings they got smaller filler ones. Fake buildings. This is most evident in Florence where most of the houses hasn’t changed since.
    But… even this way, the cities are really beautiful, like big snowglobes.

    @Rutskarn: Wolf = Lupo, wolves = lupi. It sounds like “loopo – loopee”
    The more you know.

    About the dresses: do you really think that there was someone checking how a lady of the streets dressed? Most of the people were too poor to afford anything but rags, and surely a sick prostitute wasn’t gaining real money…

    1. Eärlindor says:

      It's on the level of Super Mario Bros. Seriously.

      Even better, at some point in the future we’ll meet Ezio’s uncle Mario (who says, “It’s a-me!”–no really). Uncle Mario wears red and his troops wear green. (No. Really.) XD

      1. Aldowyn says:

        I cringed. SO badly. That was HORRIBLE. Every one I mention it to thinks it’s cool, but… OW, my ears!

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Its cheesy,but Ive liked it.

      2. acronix says:

        That joke was Lost In Translation for the spanish voice-over. Just throwing some trivia out there.

  33. Feathers: Spend many hours scouring the city OR spend a few hours with a map

    And AC1 there were about 100 flags… in each city. I didn’t miss that… except I wouldn’t have missed it anyway since I wasn’t insane and passed on finding all the flags.

    1. Aldowyn says:

      I can’t even find all the ones in Masyaf :( (I got to like 16?)

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Use the gamefaqs,luke!I usually dont use walkthroughs,but when it comes to collection games,I simply go and find a map.Its a great thing they added those maps to painters shops.

        1. When I was playing AC1, there weren’t any maps for the flags in each of the cities, only written directions, which just really isn’t very useful for a open city. Then you add together the fact that I will attempt the collection sidequests towards the end or after the end of the game and the fact you are likely to accidentally pick some up during the game and I give it a big ‘f that noise.’

          I do very much appreciate the poor souls who do waste the lives finding all the collectibles and make a maps though.

  34. Winter says:

    Just go through EVERY SINGLE IMG Media UK video and report them. Sure it’ll take a lot of time and not solve (much of) anything. But they’ll go away, i bet.

  35. GTRichey says:

    Glad to see they haven’t bothered to fix things like the bug that prevented Josh from picking up the box. I’m so glad that it was decided that releasing this on PC without optimising the interface whatsoever was a good idea, I mean imagine the (at a stretch hundreds of) dollars they saved in their million+ budget for the game!

    Oh, did I leave that on?

    1. Someone says:

      The PC community is a profit-devouring, scurvy-infested ocean of pirates, so any time they devoted to it should be considered manna from heaven, you filthy peasant. Now put your wi-fi shackles back on.

  36. Deadpool says:

    As I recall it, this was a period of sexual awakening. The boobs in your face isn’t the historical mistake here, it’s the lack of codpieces in pretty much all the men that is…

  37. Florin-Vlad says:

    Well this WAS a series that I planed to actually watch since I have internet now and HAD no interest in the game, that is before I saw the first 3 episodes and my interest went through the roof. I ended by buying both AC1 and AC2 and I’ll probably buy AC:B after I’m done with the 2 of them.

    So now I won’t be watching until I finish them since you’ll be spoiling everything…

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