DM of the Rings CXLIII:
Elfophobic

By Shamus
on Sep 5, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings


Aragorn makes a proposal.

You can bestow important titles and places of prominence to the player characters in your story. Perhaps you’ll even make one king. But in the end, no matter what you do, that character is going to end up acting just like the idiot sitting across the table from you.

And for crying out loud, this isn’t the ending either. Friday.

Enjoyed this post? Please share!


A Hundred!2020203Many comments. 163, if you're a stickler

From the Archives:

1 2 3

  1. Evrae says:

    “what do you mean “or”” Classic
    Thanks for all the comics.

  2. Culinte says:

    Had to survive with these jokes made at my poor half-elf’s character’s expense for years. It’s funny when it is someone else. :)

  3. Lonster says:

    Chainmail bikinis sound enticing, but I still think I’m going to miss thought bubbles on movie stills.

  4. Marmot says:

    I felt Gimli’s sorrow in the second panel… :(

  5. Cenobite says:

    Titles don’t matter half as much as the phat loot does.

    “Wherez da lewtz?!?!?”

    “I hate this campaign!!!”

  6. Browncoat says:

    It was a funny strip today, but I expected a bigger bang for the final episode. . .

    :)

  7. Jem says:

    It’s over already? I have great timing. I discovered it last week when searching for legolas pictures on google. Pooh! Why does this always happen! I wish you could make some more, perhaps one about the hobbit book? *sighs*

  8. Jem says:

    I mean, it’s not over yet, but I’m sad that this area is the end.

  9. Shawn says:

    Ha!

    It just occurred to me that I’m listening to the Pet Shop Boys “Go West” as I’m reading this….

  10. vonKreedon says:

    Ok, love Gimli’s “Very funny.” speech bubble floating up from below the frame.

    I can see the wedding now. Maybe Frodo and Sam can make it a double wedding ceremony, that would be so romantic!

  11. khorgor says:

    first post ever on here. and hopefully post number 11 for significance. thanks for the good job. have ebjoyed it.

    expoected a big bang – but hey, most campaigns end this way. so staying truthful to the experience is good also. very well done and good luck

  12. Elisa says:

    very funny. Poor Legolas. Next time he shouldn’t be so pretty.

  13. Twistyarm says:

    Dm gifts are like Christmas… no matter how personalized each reward is, you keep looking over at your cousin’s necklace of fireballs, and wishing you had one.

    Shamus, thanks for helping me and my roleplaying group to rethink how we game. This comic should be required reading in D&D 4.0 (or whatever’s your pref.)
    “…After I’m done marrying the hottest women in the world.” Brilliant.

  14. Big G says:

    I can’t believe how much I enjoyed this series. I actually only started reading it a few weeks ago, so I suppose I don’t have quite the attachment to it that some of the folks that were here from the beginning had, but I am still gonna miss it.

    Funny how my favorite webcomics all center around RPG parody.

  15. Dan says:

    The final Aragorn screen-cap is perfect. What a gleeful jackass!

  16. Jem says:

    Anyway, this was amazing, and I hope that you make more!

  17. I have an elf character I’ve been running for 20 years. He’s slender and weak and has lousy Con (well, the GURPS equivalent). Nobody ever makes comments like that around him. Why? Well, he’s a necromancer, a sadist, and one of the most all around powerful wizards in the land. Any cracks about elves and he’d be happy–nay, grateful for the chance–to torture your character into a more respectful frame of mind. He’ll unscrew the hook from where his right hand was and try a couple of his latest attachments out.

  18. roxysteve says:

    This is what we get as a final episode?

    I feel worse than Gimli does.

    Disgusted of Helms Deep

  19. Salinay says:

    I discovered this comic tonight. And read it tonight. The whole thing. It’s 12:30 am now, and I don’t remember when I started…all I remember is being at http://www.userfriendly.com and reading “roll -2 for productivity”…and now my laptop is at 33% battery power and I need to get up in 4 1/2 hours. Thank you. I enjoyed it.

  20. Arthur says:

    I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to the small matter of Gollum being dead.

  21. Mel says:

    the comic ends FRIDAY guys.

  22. pizzacat83 says:

    Good freaking grief, doesn’t anyone read the text under the comics!? Shamus stated since Monday that the final DMotR comic would be this Friday.

  23. Jochi says:

    Browncoat and RoxySteve:
    Wednesday Friday. Even in America.

    Aragoon couldn’t resist one last jibe at Leggy, of course.

    GM’s still being stingy, sure Legolas is already heir apparent back home, and the only way to improve on that would have been to send his papa West, but Gimli could have been served something, like being given title to Mordor and a platoon of dwarves to help clean it out.

  24. Nlhero says:

    lol great again, what do you mean with “or”

  25. TimN says:

    I’ve got a great idea! Your next comic could be a compilation made entirely of whinging comments from people who don’t bother to read the bold text at the bottom of the comic. They make your role players look mature as ents.

  26. Jochi says:

    That should read “Wednesday does not equal Friday”. The less than and greater than symbols were edited out.

  27. bobniborg says:

    Great job on the post climax. The OR line is classic.

  28. Al Shiney says:

    Crap, I thought it was over on Monday … now I gotta come back and do this all over again in 2 days for the grand finale.

    Very inconsiderate of you, Shamus. Chainmail Bikini … feh!

    (Note to those with a Sarcasm score of 3 … relax)

  29. Scarlet Knight says:

    roxysteve Says:This is what we get as a final episode?

    Roxysteve, I expected better of you, THIS IS NOT THE FINAL COMIC! For Ulmo’s sake, it ends the 7th! The 7th! The Sevvvveeenth! Sheesh…
    Now where’s my Mountain Dew…

  30. kevin says:

    I’m going to be so sad when I read Friday’s strip. DM of the Ring has been the highlight of my Monday, Wednesday and Friday for months now.

  31. Entropy says:

    “Or”?

    hahahahhahahaha

    *sigh* I’m going to miss this comic.

  32. Jem says:

    Wow, two years now. I just watched the movie for the first time on Wednesday last week!

  33. Jem says:

    *sigh* I’m going to miss this comic.
    -x-
    I know, it’s sad.

  34. Ryan says:

    So, are we going to have a wrap party on Friday?

  35. John ZK says:

    It is nearly as funny watching all these people that think each of these episodes is the last one when Shamus has clearly stated that it will contain the words THE END.

  36. Carl the Bold says:

    Wait! This comic is going to end?!?

  37. Vegedus says:

    Hah! One of the best punchlines yet! Elves are incredibly faggy, true.

  38. Woot Spitum says:

    Legolas and Gimli got gypped.

  39. TheBladeRoden says:

    We must have a “DMpire Strikes Back” comic!

  40. Arbaal says:

    You know Shamus, I feel your pain.

    To all you people who can’t seem to be able to comprehend what you read, It’s been mentioned numerous times that the LAST EPISODE or SERIES FINALE will be on FRIDAY SEPT 7th, 2007! Stop whining about being unhappy with the final strip when it has not yet been uploaded.

    Motto of the Comprehension Gnomes:
    Step 1 – Read
    Step 2 – Engage brain to ponder what was read
    Step 3 – Engage mouth AFTER comprehension sets in

    Motto of the Common Gamer:
    Step 1 – Read
    Step 2 – I dunno (Big shrug of shoulders)
    Step 3 – Bitch and complain thus inserting foot in mouth

  41. Amber says:

    Woot Spitum says: Legolas and Gimli got gypped

    Not if Gimli’s character was still RP’ing… his character would be psyched to go explore caves ; )

  42. Joe says:

    OVER?!?!? You still have both Conan Movies, The robin Hood movie, the three muskateers, Pirates of the caribeen and so much more!!!!!!
    GET BACK TO WORK!!!!
    BAD DM!!!!

  43. Cat Skyfire says:

    I like Aragorn’s little smirk in the last panel…

  44. Aragorn, you are my HERO!!!!! :D

  45. Scarlet Knight says:

    You know, I can imagine a D&D group where they play in the world of “Robin Hood”, but the DM finds one player roleplaying the swashbuckling Errol Flynn version, one the grim “Prince of Thieves” (what do you mean ‘no gunpowder’?), & another the Mel Brook’s “Men in Tights” version.

  46. Sulaco says:

    “What do you mean ‘or'” almost made me do a spit take. Gotta stop reading these at work.

  47. Seracka says:

    Oh, something about that comic just struck my funny bone. Thanks Shamus!

  48. Geoff says:

    Another userfriendly refugee here, productivity thru the floor for today. thanks!!!

  49. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    let’s see…

    Gimli became a rich merchant…as Galadriel had said, Gold would flow through his hands, but would hold no power over him…and I think he passed his money on to children…

    and Legolas became one of the few Mirkwood Elves to acquire a growing desire to leave Middle Earth and was cursed with a lingering sorrow and dissatisfaction until such time as he left with Gimli, the only dwarf ever to go to the West…

    Gimli made out like a bandit…Legolas got somewhat gypped, unless you include the fact that he gets to move from the category of Dark Elf to Light Elf due to his trip to west…

    Also people forget that Legolas is a prince of his people, in fact, of the three, only Gimli is not royalty

  50. Sarrasanne says:

    I just want to say how much laughter and enjoyment this comic has given me over some months now (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE END IS TOMORROW) and how i hope to see a return of the DM very soon :D

  51. Aaron says:

    The screencap of Stonergorn is perhaps the best part of the “or” statement. My assistant came over to check on me because i was choking with laughter lol.

    Can’t wait to see Friday’s!

    A

  52. Mirtul says:

    PRICELESS.

    Too bad it’s going to end on Friday :( Are you planning to create a new comic ?

  53. Zcipher says:

    Hee hee, I actually had a character become the queen of a kingdom in a game once.

    Needless to say the above statement mostly applied. Though in my defense, the DM really should have seen it coming; chaotic good characters put in charge of lawful neutral kingdoms may have slightly different ideas of the rules of civil procedure >.>

  54. Kip says:

    me and 2 other characters took over 2 cities that were warring. We killed the King of the first one and were like “Gimme our loot” and the treasurer was like ” we have stripped the kingdom to hope fully win the war”, so we decided to take care of that for them. and we fought our way to the throne room, found the drunken king sleeping, the cleric opened a dimension door and summoned a deamon to rip him to shreads. while my fighter looted the place and tore apart the guards (literally, a magically enhanced 98 strength is great for ripping people apart)…wait where was I…

  55. Jochi says:

    Zcipher said:
    chaotic good characters put in charge of lawful neutral kingdoms may have slightly different ideas of the rules of civil procedure

    That reminds me of Rober E Howard, King Kull, “By This Axe I Rule” as a case in point. It’s worth finding. FRP has roots OTHER than Tolkein.

  56. Issachar says:

    I had been unreasonably sad that the final DMotR comic wouldn’t be number 150, because I like “milestone” numbers like that.

    But then I realized that it will be number 144, which is the sum of Bilbo’s and Frodo’s combined ages at their famous birthday party — as Bilbo himself points out. (“One gross, if I may use the expression.”)

    A very appropriate number for a Lord of the Rings based comic — although only the DM would know or care about such trivia. :-)

  57. okay! says:

    I’m already having withdrawal anticipating Friday’s end of this series. I would try to make self-medicate by watching the LOTR series, but I’m not sure I can ever look at it the same again.

  58. Shamus says:

    Issachar is the first to notice!

    I actually messed around a bit to make sure we’d hit 144 for the end, and I was feeling disappointed that nobody would notice. :)

  59. Jochi says:

    Kip said:
    a magically enhanced 98 strength is great

    I know I’m going to hate myself for asking this, but what bonuses did you stack to get to 98?

    Or was this a Hero System strength stat, where it would only make you as strong as Superman or the Hulk?

  60. Jochi says:

    Shamus Himself said:
    Issachar is the first to notice!

    Actually, Atanamir got it yesterday at #109. It is a very nice touch, and I’m sure took a bit of finagling.

  61. sashax says:

    I wonder if Aragorn noticed that technically, by his own standards, he would be marrying a lesbian.

  62. Proteus says:

    Thoughts on “DM of the Rings” ending and not being replaced by Dave’s Star Wars game:

    Crap.

    Crap. Crap. Crap.

    Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

    Just my two cents’ of crap.

  63. Cenobite says:

    I wonder if Aragorn noticed that technically, by his own standards, he would be marrying a lesbian.

    What’s wrong with that? It’s every guy’s fantasy.

  64. Dez! says:

    “What do you mean “or”?”

    LOL

    Never were truer words spoken!

    Thanks for all the laughs over the last 12 months Shamus!!

    D!

1 2 3

Leave a Reply to Issachar

Comments are moderated and may not be posted immediately. Required fields are marked *

*
*

Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun.

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>