DM of the Rings CXLIII:
Elfophobic

By Shamus
on Sep 5, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings


Aragorn makes a proposal.

You can bestow important titles and places of prominence to the player characters in your story. Perhaps you’ll even make one king. But in the end, no matter what you do, that character is going to end up acting just like the idiot sitting across the table from you.

And for crying out loud, this isn’t the ending either. Friday.

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A Hundred!2020203Many comments. 163, if you're a stickler

From the Archives:

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  1. haashaastaak says:

    so many comments, so little time. I remembered that this wasn’t the last strip. Besides, it doesn’t have that “farting at the end of an epic” feel that I expect from this set of player characters. I have enjoyed this immensely and I’m sure I’ll feel the same after reading the last episode.

  2. beno says:

    You _know_ there’s going to be a race on for first-last-post…

  3. wowzaa says:

    I’m sure shamus will think of something
    Hear me shamus? Think of something

  4. SteveDJ says:

    Shamus,

    As this comic is coming to an end on Friday, there is something that I’d like to ask you to fix. Way back in January, you created a post of an Unusable Strip:

    http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=905

    Could you please, please, move this into the DMotR category, into position where it would have existed had you actually made it? For all these people that found the comic more recently, they are missing out on a great piece you wrote, even if it wasn’t actually made into a strip.

    I wouldn’t have asked, except that you went ahead and placed those other filler strips into this category too, so now I think it would be appropriate to relocate that unused strip post into the DMotR category. You know, for archival completeness and all. :)

    Many, many thanks for a wonderful laugh 3x a week. I, too, am going to miss this strip.

  5. Wtrmute says:

    Also people forget that Legolas is a prince of his people, in fact, of the three, only Gimli is not royalty

    Correct, Legolas is (a) son of Thranduil, King of Greenwood the Great. Although Gimli is the son of Glóin, who was a third cousin to both Thorin II Oakenshield and Dain II Ironfoot, Kings Under the Mountain, and first cousin to Balin, Lord of Moria. So while Gimli may not be royalty, he’s still high nobility among the children of Dwarves — as much as a Duke or a Count.

    As for the strip, it’s great as usual, if juvenile. Then again, what else can we expect from Aragoon? ;)

  6. Caius says:

    At least the characters are Frodo.

    You travel to a land in which you cant die full of ambiguous looking elves, all of which who resent you for being the only non elf. Oh, and you get to take care of your senile cousin Bilbo for eternity. And no, you cant put him in a home. (Better put some skill points in sponge bath.)

  7. Maverick says:

    ‘What do you mean or?’ I love you shamus! (just not in the elf way). Finaly! someone else who knows there is there is know differnce between elfs and ‘Guys who bat for the other team’.
    I am going to miss this comic.

  8. Nogard Codesmith says:

    Shamus, I am so sad to see this story on the very edge of its closure… and sorry that i havnt been able to get in here and kibitz with everyone for the last ver comics, but i really have to say, the last few comics have been right up there with the rest in quality, and the fortune cookie at the end of today’s is SO TRUE!

    Thank you so much for all the work you have put into this comic. I will be sad to see it go, but am looking forward to your next work with great anticipation.

  9. Raved Thrad says:

    Oh, man, that last panel was funny as hell. “What do you mean ‘or’?” — excellent line.

    So, what *does* happen to Gimli and Legolas? I noticed that they haven’t tried to force Aragorn into sharing the loot yet. Maybe Aragorn just isn’t into moresomes? I’m sure elves and dwarves have tried it at one time or another — lives that long aren’t designed to be wasted on monogamy.

  10. ArchU says:

    I can’t think of a worse fate for Gimli.

  11. TBau says:

    Thank you Shamus for an amazing comic that can make me forget about the heaping pile of crap that Goblins has become. I will make it a point to re-read the whole story when its over.

  12. Laura says:

    Man, that fits all of them perfectly. I can’t believe it’s almost over!

  13. TalrogSmash says:

    I can’t believe that after all this time…

    Colin is still allowed to post.

    Anyways, baited breath; i await the end with thee.

  14. Vardav says:

    I love this comic and passed it on to my fellows in our Tolkien fan club and gamers group, adding it to the Links in our website. Thank you Shamus.

    Gimli became Lord of the Glittering Caves in Rohan.
    Legolas brought Mirkwood Elves to the forest of Ithilien in Gondor where he founded an Elf colony. He remained prince of Mirkwood, but its tough to become king when your dad is immortal.
    Both helped Aragorn rebuild Minas Tirith bigger, better, although one hopes not faster.
    After Aragorn’s death, Legolas built a grey ship and he took Gimli with him sailing to Valinor.
    We are looking forward to Shamus’ version of the end! 144 indeed! hehe

  15. Lycoris says:

    Heeeey … are you dragging out the ending the way the movie did? XD

  16. Pwyll says:

    I’m terribly sad about this comic ending, as it has given me much enjoyment over the last several months.

    Jochi, “By This Axe I Rule”, though a fine Howard story, compares poorly to some of his best Conan stories, including “The Phoenix on the Sword,” which was his first published Conan story and was, in fact a re-write of “By This Axe I Rule.”

  17. Angharad says:

    TalrogSmash (#78)…

    FYI, it’s “bated breath”. Forgive me for being a stickler, but it’s one of my pet peeves. Y’all have DM stories, I have ungodly-poor-spelling-and-punctuation stories.

    I’m just glad dice have numbers.

    Shamus, you rock on so many levels. Not the least of such being that you can spell, punctuate, and compose a complete sentence. Will you marry me?

  18. Merodym says:

    I have read this comic since nearly the very beginning. Yes, I have lurked forever, and spent many a night enjoying the artistry, word-smithery and the effort placed herein. As with the winning of the lottery, the end of an era such as this will clearly draw unspoken fans -or perhaps long unknown relatives- out of the woodwork.

    Thank you for all your time and effort, sir. I have enjoyed your take on an old and proud tradition. Shortly, I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps to become a leader of the few and proud, and will not be able to read any webcomics for a while. But rest assured that when I am again at liberty to do so, I will eagerly look for any projects you have graced us with.

    Again, thank you.

  19. Ninja says:

    I love how Aragoon is looking down at Gimli in the 3rd panel.
    And the ‘or’ was priceless.
    Sheer gold.
    GOLD.

    I await the end, but hope you suddenly change your mind about Chainmail Bikini.
    Come on.
    Star Wars beckons…

  20. Gadush Kraun says:

    Yes gimli, but this time instead of fighting orcs, maybe there will be some variety. Seeing as it has nothing to do with the campaign!

  21. I can’t believe it’s almost over.

    I will keep DMotR bookmarked, to reread whenever I’m feeling a bit down, and I look forward to your next project, Shamus.

  22. oldschoolGM says:

    Very funny stuff.

    So, this is the last one right? *ducks*

  23. Chadhulhu says:

    it is very sad that the strip is ending Friday, Great work Shamus.

  24. boingophile says:

    can’t wait to see what you do with a screencap of that REALLY gay moment between Sam and Frodo at the end of the movie when they’ve gone back to the Shire… That sly look that little minx Sam gives off to Frodo. I remember seeing that in the theater and damn near shooting Mr. Pibb out my nose (because they’re bastards who don’t sell Dr. Pepper).

  25. Clyde says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, eh, Aragorn?

  26. I just found this webcomic a few days ago. In before the end! Excellent work, Shamus. I look forward to your next project.

  27. Phil says:

    And after all that the DM managed to resist mentioning that Legolas and Gimli eventually sail off into the sunset together?

    Though maybe he just wanted to resist giving Aragorn the chance to smirk and say “Hello sailors!”… ;)

  28. AlanH says:

    Superb Shamus, thank you.

    It will be a sad day on Friday for all of us readers when this saga comes to an end. I am sure the Chainmail Bikini will be a ripper of a project, but I will join the clamoring throngs and plead for a Star Wars strip.

  29. vic says:

    All Campains end in a kind of dissapointing way. even if it is a perfect ending for a perfect questline, its still OVER. thats how i feel about this comic (or the one for friday anyway.

  30. Tristan says:

    Great job! I’m sad that it will be ending really soon *Sob* I’ll miss you all!

  31. Scarlet Knight says:

    FYI, it’s “baited breath”. He had sushi for lunch…

  32. Rex Venom says:

    Amazing.
    Thank you.
    Rock on.

  33. Dan says:

    Hilarious. “After I’m done marrying the hottest woman in the world.” :-)

  34. I love the comic and I can’t wait till Friday to see the spectacular spectical that the ending will be.

    FIRST POST!

  35. Jochi says:

    Pwyll@81:
    No argument, Howard got better with experience. I contend he and CA Smith both wrote Lovecraft way better than Lovecraft ever did.

    I just thought the story very neatly encapsulated a CG character trying to rule a LN society, choosing right over law and daring anyone to challenge it. And does it better than the Conan rewrite.

    Not as much as the comic, not more anyway, but I’m going to miss these discussions, too.

    And as far as the DM’s ignoring L and G, A COULD take matters into his own hands, appointing them ambassadors plenipo to wherever the hell he feels like. If his player were smart and erudite enough.

  36. Nlhero says:

    That aint the first post :p I would really miss this comic if it comes to an end :(

  37. roxysteve says:

    Browncoat Says:
    It was a funny strip today, but I expected a bigger bang for the final episode. . .

    You and me both. What a total gyp!
    I dunno about you, but I want my money back.

    Disgusted of Minas Tirith

  38. roxysteve says:

    Angharad Says:
    TalrogSmash (#78)…

    FYI, it’s “bated breath”. Forgive me for being a stickler, but it’s one of my pet peeves. Y’all have DM stories, I have ungodly-poor-spelling-and-punctuation stories.

    Not if you’ve just eaten a maggot’n’chum sandwich it ain’t.

    Steve.

  39. roxysteve says:

    Arbaal Says:
    You know Shamus, I feel your pain.

    To all you people who can’t seem to be able to comprehend what you read,

    Your irony detector seems to be malfunctioning. Just thought I’d mention.

    Disgusted of Hobbiton-on-the-Weald

  40. Thenodrin says:

    You know, it occurs to me that if people want to see a screen-cap Star Wars comic done in the style of DM of the Rings, it can be done even if Shamus doesn’t want to do it.

    Shamus, would you be offended if one of us picked up the torch and tried to emulate your style?

    Theno

  41. Darth Vader says:

    Hey, Shamous… great comic, but… what will do you next?

    Please, could you do a D20-Star-Wars-Comic (at best, the old movies)?

    That would really rock. ;)

  42. superfluousk says:

    I must say, not that I object to the way this comic is ending, just to the pacing. I think that this needed to be a few comics longer. Just the outrage over the killstealing, for example, deserved a comic of its own — the final injustice on this campaign. And then the players announcing their quits and the DM scrambling to bribe them back to be its own comics.

    Oh well, I guess Shamus has his reasons. Waiting to see what the last punchline will be.

  43. roxysteve says:

    Shaumus has inspired me, shown me the way and gotten the old creative juices flowing!

    I plan to do a screencap comic of this comic, once it is finished.

    Steve.

  44. Obfuscato says:

    #32 Jem said:
    Wow, two years now. I just watched the movie for the first time on Wednesday last week!

    Wha? There’s a movie of this, you say? Like, done with all three books? Wow.

    You know, it would be funny if somebody took screencaps from the movie and . . .

  45. Guido says:

    But it’s Friday already! You toy with my heart, Shamus!

    –Guido

  46. jbravodude says:

    >>>17 Purple Library Guy Says:
    September 5th, 2007 at 11:24 am

    I have an elf character I’ve been running for 20 years. He’s slender and weak and has lousy Con (well, the GURPS equivalent). Nobody ever makes comments like that around him. Why? Well, he’s a necromancer, a sadist, and one of the most all around powerful wizards in the land. Any cracks about elves and he’d be happy–nay, grateful for the chance–to torture your character into a more respectful frame of mind. He’ll unscrew the hook from where his right hand was and try a couple of his latest attachments out.

    Hmm, so judging from this comment, you’re one of those gamers who “live” their character, cry if they get hurt, and feel everyone should be impressed by the “virtual” power they possess. These are the gamers that annoy the rest of us. Its okay to like the character a bit, but 20 years long? Get a life. Oh, and by the way, a DnD character torturing another is still imaginary. In the end do you really think we’re scared? Not likely.

    Shamus, great comic, dreading Friday coming up even though I can’t wait to see how you end it. This ought to be truly enjoyable, just as the entire series has been. Thanks for all the laughs.

  47. Scarlet Knight says:

    roxysteve Says:”I plan to do a screencap comic of this comic, once it is finished.”

    Ooooh ! Ooooh! Can I play Colin? *Ahem* PUMP! No, no , I’ll get it; Limp! (No, once more with feeling) PIMP!

  48. Jochi says:

    roxysteve@104 sez:
    “Your irony detector seems to be malfunctioning. Just thought I’d mention.”

    Apparently true of several of us, including me. Sorry I failed my spot check.

  49. Dee says:

    Shamus–

    Thanks so much for your wonderful webcomic. I’ve been a gamer and a LOTR fan for more years than I like to admit (and I’ve been snarky for even longer) so DM of the Rings was heaven!

    I’ll be looking forward to “Chainmail Bikinis”–good luck with the new venture.

  50. roxysteve says:

    This comic will only truly be said to have “arrived” when Bo Hansson makes a concept album about it.

    Steve.

  51. roxysteve says:

    [Scarlet Ker-nigget] Sure buddy. You can totally be Colin if you want.

    :o)

    Sorry for not noticing you’d already made the “baited breath” joke first. I’d have sat on my hands if I’d seen #96 before I did #103. Of course, I only say that because Shamus refused my bribe to switch our posts. On the bright side, that’s 3 bux I’ve saved today.

    Steve.

  52. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    If Scarlet Knight gets his lines right and gets to play Colin, I’m so trying out for the voice of the narrator in roxysteve’s webcomic of the webcomic of the Star Wars movies.

    “Right. So, you had Han Solo offer to ‘pop a shrimp on the barbie’ to the Imperial Guards. They look at you in confusion, pull out blasters, and shoot you full of more holes than a Kiwi sheep’s fishnet stockings on a Sunday morning. Too bad about the princess you were supposed to rescue.”

    Wait what? That makes no sense.

    Last post!

  53. roxysteve says:

    fair_n_hite_451 Says:
    If Scarlet Knight gets his lines right and gets to play Colin, I’m so trying out for the voice of the narrator in roxysteve’s webcomic of the webcomic of the Star Wars movies.

    The material in the comic does not lend itself to a Star Wars adaptation, and in any case I plan to aim higher.

    What is needed here is a storyline of great gravitas, one with much in common with real life so that the reader may take from it life lessons to grow on.

    Such a high goal requires that the overarching meta theme be couched in a game system far more flexible, relevant and playable than the archaic Dungeons and Dragons concept retooled for the crippled and cliché-riddled D20 game system.

    I am, of course, planning to tell the story in the context of a Judge Dredd game.

    Steve.

  54. Bill says:

    I’ve spent two whole days reading this strip from beginning to end, and I’ve commented twice along the way. Every time, the captcha is the same: “d20”.

    I hate this campaign.

  55. Klaz says:

    Hilarious comic… I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. Maybe at the day of the end strip you can put all past strips on a .zip for download? You know, for the fans.

  56. felicia says:

    I was only refered to this comic this week, and after three straight days of reading the archives (and getting very little work done), I am sad to see that the comic will be ending tomorrow.

    Shamus, your insights on gamers is dead-on. I’m so glad to be gaming with more mature players and complex, yet interesting plots. Bravo.

  57. dr. duck says:

    Damn. Friday?
    this is as hard as knowing that after ROTK came out, every Christmas movie season in the future would be bleakened by the lack of a new installment … *sob*

  58. Rain says:

    Friday! It’s friday! 28 minutes past friday! oh damn you clock switching foreigners! Why can’t we all just use CET.

    hmmm. And now time for something completely different; or well… not monty python related, but still one of the most abused movie lines in d&d… It’s good to be the king!

  59. Its five o’clock (a.m.) somewhere …

  60. Doug Williams says:

    Gimli’s simmering indignation is great! His expression reminds me of an old Dating Game episode when the emcee told the couple they’d be taking a fabulous all-expense paid trip to–Moscow!!! In NOVEMBER!!!!

  61. Four Color says:

    Thanks for all of the laughs, especially for the parade of skulls! w00t! -fch

  62. 'tarako says:

    ‘It’s midnight here, so now we’re into the final hours…

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