Spoiler Warning Hitmas 2 – They Keep Pulling me Back in

By Shamus Posted Friday Sep 2, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 68 comments

Rutskarn has meticulously compiled a list of who is naughty, and who is nice. And then decided to kill everyone in both groups.

Link (YouTube)

Here is wishing you and your recently departed, a very Merry Hitmas.


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68 thoughts on “Spoiler Warning Hitmas 2 – They Keep Pulling me Back in

  1. Mincecraft says:

    I was just on here reading your biography post, then went on to chocolate hammer, and was redirected here to find this.


  2. Seth Ghatch says:

    Same. i just read it, clicked on the main page. And then poof. This was here.

  3. xXDarkWolfXx says:

    So are the gifts that Rutskarn is delivering as father hitmas bullets because if so i distinctly remember asking for the death of george lucas by falling from a building for hitmas.
    Also i love how he has a contingency for being compromised although i do believe its called the NO WITNESSES!!!! contingency

    1. Spooky says:

      “Your request does not require nor involve any bullets”.

      I’m sorry, I’m just really irritated because Hitmas isn’t recognised in my home town … imagine that.

      1. Rasha says:

        Okay how about George Lucas shot off a roof then?

        1. Spooky says:

          “You’ll receive a contact information. You will do as the contact information asks you to. You will not talk about the contact information to anyone or anything. Upon learning that your request was successfully done you will destroy the contact information and never contact this service again. If you fail to abide by these instructions your request will not be processed and you’ll mildly suffer for it.

          Were this instructions clear to you?”

          A very happy Hitmas to you,
          Consumer Recreation Services

          1. Rasha says:

            Yes and agreed.

  4. Daemian Lucifer says:

    What,just 11 deaths?Youre slipping Rutskarn!

    1. James says:

      my general route for this is Steal papers, sneak in through front door, get poison bottle, tamper with gas, kill doctor,lure target upstairs strangle, then get a orderly suit, get AGENT smith (he’s an assassin, one of yours too i think) go to morgue wake him up leave. done no noise almost no violence

      1. Vect says:

        He’s a U.S. Government agent that keeps showing up in the games as a guy 47 has to rescue once in each game since he always ends up captured somehow.

        1. Peter H. Coffin says:

          What does the US Govt need with a red-headed Distressed Damsel? The guy sounds worse than Robin.

  5. TraderRager says:

    This could have been a really good run if you hadn’t gone out of your way to murder those people.

  6. Raygereio says:

    Dual wielding pistols? Fine – it’s dumb, but fine.
    However for some reason, I just can’t get over the fact that the pistols have scopes attached to them.

    1. Monojono says:

      You just hold one scope up to each eye, then you’re good to go!

      1. Aulayan says:


      2. Bobby Archer says:

        They’re the most violent binoculars ever.

      3. littlefinger says:

        So with the kickback included we you can have 2 shots for 2 black eyes?

    2. Rutskarn says:

      Since I’ve played through the whole game, I have the full range of options even in the earlier missions–so I intentionally loaded up with something that made no goddamned sense.

      My actual loadout is one pistol with a silencer, laser sight, low-velocity ammo, expanded clip[sic], and sometimes a scope–although that’s of limited use. The only two times I can remember using one is the White House and blowing a lock open on the wedding level.

      1. Spooky says:

        Does the ammo type (low velocity/magnum) still affect sound propagation whilst using a top level suppressor? Isn’t it all deafened by the sheer coolness of the black cylinder?

        And the scope/iron sights attachments are useful if you want to go on a first person rampage without 47 looking like an old lady firing a pistol*. While you’re “zoomed” the recoil control is highly improved.

        *Seriously, how on earth is it that a genetically enhanced super assassin can’t control the recoil of a pistol. It’s even worst when comparing the recoil of the other weapons (shotgun, smg, M4, etc) which are decent.

  7. Factoid says:

    I think what I really like about this series is that Rutskarn really knows his way around the levels and is doing a great job of finishing each level quickly. There are about a hundred different ways to do all of these missions. I had no idea there was a way to impersonate the therapist. I might go in and try that.

    I’m super nervous about Hitman 5. I love this series and I worry that they’re going to ruin it the way they ruined Splinter Cell by “re-imagining the gameplay”. I’ve heard they’re taking away the map and adding in something kind of like Eagle Vision from Assassin’s creed.

    1. jdaubenb says:

      I recall one of the developers giving a quote to the effect “We won’t let the fans dictate how we make the game.”
      To me this read like: We know better what our customers want than our customers – which is pretty much what is wrong with the games industry in a nutshell.

      1. StranaMente says:

        On the other hand you have BioWare that says that they’re listening to feedback from the fans for ME3 (and we’re seeing as this is turning out).
        I guess the problem is they’re both turning away from the formula that made these games great, and this is the problem.

        1. jdaubenb says:

          Sure – the developers cannot win in this situation.
          But if Bioware had come out and told everyone Mass Effect 3 will be a racing game, I would expect them to at least give a reasonable explanation of their decision. ;)

          1. Raygereio says:

            Knowing BioWare said reasonable explenation will be something along the lines of “WE ARE AWESOME!!”, only slightly less coherent.

      2. Pete says:

        I understood it as “you cant possibly hope to please everybody”.

        Then, of course, I saw the trailer demonstrating 47 using his advanced High-Tech Bust-based High-velocity knockout Device. Trailers seem to do a really terrible job for me.

        1. acronix says:

          I don`t trust trailers. They always end up being “Look at all that ACTION and the EXPLOSIONS and the ACTION!”. Just drop a look at New Vegas`.

      3. Daemian Lucifer says:

        “We know better what our customers want than our customers”

        Well that is true.If you try pleasing all of your customers,youll end up with a bland wolfenstein(the remake,not the original).It was a game for everyone,and therefore incredibly dull.On the other hand,if you say fuck it,and create a game you want to create,you have a chance to make something brilliant.

        1. jdaubenb says:

          But does this reasoning apply to a sequel?

          What if George R. R. Martin had decided that the latest A Song of Ice and Fire book should have been Hard SciFi. The target audience is somewhat similar and if he doesn’t have to please his fans let him.
          Or, say, Rockstar decides to turn GTA into a Kart Racer. You’re still driving. If they make another Human Centipede movie, but this one is a romantic comedy, wouldn’t that bewilder fans of the original?

          Once you have an established franchise, turning your sneaky murdersimulator into what seems to be a third-person shooter, the explanation “it’s what you want” even if the fans are quite vocal that this is certainly not the game they want doesn’t cut it anymore.

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            It does apply to sequels as well.And Im glad youve brought gta,because it was a top down shooter,they took a risk,and look how successful it became.Sure,if the sequel is telling a continuation of the story,then the story should be connected with the its predecessors,but that doesnt have to be the case with the gameplay.

            1. jdaubenb says:

              Rockstar focused on the previous 2,5 games’ strength: Combat and murdering innocents. What if they had instead decided that GTA should be more like Colin McRae Rally?
              (I wouldn’t know, I only ever played GTA without any numbers, so yeah.)
              Driver doesn’t seem to be doing all that hot these days.

              If the current Hitman developers focus on Hitman’s combat which we can all see is pretty bland, they are not playing to the IP’s strength (black humour & costumes).
              See also: XCom and X-Com.

              1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                Xcom still may work.Sure,it probably wont be a good game,and it sure wont be a real xcom game,except in title alone,but it still may draw in new customers.Just like fallout 3.

      4. GiantRaven says:

        To me that reads ‘this is our game, not your game, so we will make it how we want to. If you like it, then you can buy it.’

        I completely fail to see how that isn’t a good way to make games.

        1. Sydney says:

          Because the point of the game is to be liked by the players, not enjoyed by the devs. They can masturbate on their own time.

          1. GiantRaven says:

            So what you’re saying is that creative people should make their art to please the masses, rather than make it for their own desires? I’m sure glad I don’t live in that world, where all music is Justin Bieber, all games are Call of Duty and all I get to watch is the latest action blockbuster.

            Game developers got into the business to make the games that they want to make, not make the games that everybody else wants them to make. Or at least, that’s the way it should be.

            1. Sumanai says:

              But if they don’t want to make a Hitman game, then why are they doing a Hitman game?

              1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                I get what youre saying,but saying that map is what defines a hitman game is wrong*.Just the same kind of wrong people are using for rpgs(“but without an inventory its not an rpg”).What makes hitman game is the experience of being a hitman:Multiple paths,stealth,and disguises.As long as they have those,it will be a hitman game.

                *Im not that much interested in the series,so I dont know how far they are going in changing the gameplay,and Im going just by the comments above.

                1. Sumanai says:

                  I don’t follow the development of the game either, so if the removal of the map is the only difference to the old ones, I agree with you. It’s not like the game went through a genre shift. But I got the impression there is more than just that, which is why I commented the way I did.

              2. GiantRaven says:

                They are making a Hitman game. They’re just making a Hitman game that has a different interface to previous Hitman games. This really isn’t that big a deal, the new way of tracking enemies sounds more engaging than staring at a map anyway.

                1. Sumanai says:

                  Interface changes can have pretty big effects, but if that is really everything (or it’s in fact just the removal of the map as said above) I agree with you. I just got the impression it was more.

                  Edit: In my defense though, whenever developers say something to the effect of “we’re making the game we want, not what the fans want” they’re usually making quite a few changes and sometimes even genre shifts.

          2. Irridium says:

            Who would you want to develop a game?

            A developer who actually likes what they’re making, or someone who doesn’t and will most likely not give a damn?

            Give me the first option anytime.

        2. Sumanai says:

          That’s roughly what they’re saying, but in my case cynicism makes me think that the truth is “marketing said shooters sell better, so that’s what we’re doing”. Or something similar.

  8. Mr. Wizard says:

    Haha, man. Rutskarn totally mangled the story of this mission :D It’s great
    I am totally reminded of that one DMotR comic
    This one: http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1269

    As I understood it, the fellow you are rescuing is a CIA agent that was sent to kill one of those colored robe patients. The rehab is really a criminal front where compromising individuals go to keep out of the way while the heat dies down. Blue suits are security, white suits are high security orderlies. Robes indicate patients. The patients with shades are mob agents that act as bodyguards to the important patients. The dark blue robe patient isn’t making drugs, he is just cooking, which isn’t allowed normally in patients rooms.

    Most of that info is just sort of hidden away in the hints system and implied by the dialogue.

    SPOILERS: When I did this mission, I think I had the good luck of stumbling into the “default” solution. I managed to kill all three targets with only two explosions (the gas from the cooker for blue and a AP mine to blow the chandelier onto the pink) and poison. I Stole a doctors uniform that was laying around to impersonate a doctor, in order to lead the powder blue robed one into the examination room. Trickiest part is getting to Agent Smith before all that. Getting the high security orderly outfit is hard, and you need to be really quick to put him out, take his uniform and key before the patrolling guard or orderly spots you. Its that portion that results in the most panic firing.

    This is one of my favorite games, and this was a fun episode :D

    1. Fat Tony says:

      Oh yeah, he’s CIA not ICA

      1. Mr. Wizard says:

        See how distinct that is, how could anybody confuse the two? ;D

      2. Peter H. Coffin says:

        I’m so glad the Culinary Institute of America is doing so much outreach these days.

  9. Fat Tony says:

    The Ginger, Mr.Smith, is another agent, that works for the same agency as Mr.47, this mission is the 3rd time 47 has had to save Smithy.

    the sunglass guys are mob bodyguards, who are very thinley guised as patients and they’re there to keep the Rainbow dressing gown mobsters safe.

    The place is ran by crooked business men, who want to keep you high or something, so that your family keeps paying for your being there.

  10. Bobby Archer says:

    The more I watch Rutskarn play through Hitman, the more I think of the newspaper articles at the end of the levels as the column of the paper’s assassination critic:

    “Agent 47’s most recent exhibition, ‘Lean Killer Slays 11’ recently showed at the Mob Front Rehabilitation Clinic. Although the piece accomplishes its stated aim of dealing contractually obligated vitality termination, a cursory comparison of the shots fired and the wounds on the victims reveal the respected mortality artist to be an experienced shooter of limited skill. This dangerous enthusiasm is more reminiscent of Agent 47’s early Marauding Psychopath Period as opposed to his more recent ‘Verging on Professional Competence’ Series. Overall, a commendable effort, but not superlative. 2.5 of 5 stars”

  11. Vect says:

    One of these days they might notice Kane and Lynch being referenced in the newspapers, which might lead to an off-topic rant or so.

  12. neon_goggles says:

    Dananana! my stash!

  13. Hitch says:

    Wait, if you were there to rescue the Green Goblin, why didn’t you just go ahead and say it was Arkham Asylum instead of all that mental hospital, rehab, government prison-like facility nonsense?

    1. Topaz Wolf says:

      Because Arkham Asylum belongs to the DC universe. Though green goblin can be kept in the Alcatraz Annex, Almagordo (unlikely), The Cage, Crossmore (possible, but not probable), The Cube (though he isn’t all that super powered), Ice Box, The Big House, Negative Zone Prison Alpha, The Raft, Ryker’s Island, Seagate Prison, or The Vault (depending on the time frame). Note however that Green Goblin is a pretty low powered mook and therefore many of these prisons would not make room for him.

      1. Hitch says:

        I’m pretty sure Green Goblin ends up in Arkham every time Batman catches him, just like the Riddler, the Joker, and Venom.

        1. GiantRaven says:

          Comic book nerd rage in…3…2…1…

          1. Topaz Wolf says:

            Nerd, I take offense at such preemptive insults of my character. Though I must say, I have no idea why batman keeps putting people in Arkham since it is so easy to escape.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Because he saw punisher do it.

            2. Kira says:

              its not batman who puts them there, its the police. They cant put any of the villains into a “super” prison because Batman’s methods are illegal, and any case would fall through. However, Gotham has a law where the police can involuntarily commit someone for insanity without judicial oversight.

  14. Burek says:

    This didn’t end in a massacre, I’m disappoint.

  15. HeroOfHyla says:

    Well obviously you’ll have *some* experience after firing 68 bullets, even if only 34 of them hit their mark.

  16. Simulated Knave says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but I like Rutskarn a lot better as the player than Josh.

    I also like the mission-centric format – it works a lot better for episodes, IMO.

    1. Fizban says:

      I kinda agree with you. Don’t wanna diss the guy though, considering he’s done all the playing (and video editing) up to this point, and it’s gotta get old after a while. Still, I get tired of the trolling and bunny hopping really quickly, and making it feel like a waste of my time is a good way to lose a viewer for a few episodes. I’m sure it’s already been commented on to death, but I really, really didn’t like the sudden turn into Old World Blues, for example. The rest of the group didn’t want to do it, the season was already dragging on, so. . . he just went and did it anyway? Carrying the Incinerator for the whole game isn’t so annoying, and actually demonstrates a bit of the “you don’t have to be good to beat the game” point that he’s brought up a lot (you don’t really need all that inventory, so I’ll just carry this dead weight to prove it!). But at one point I believe he admitted that he’d spent five minutes wandering around on purpose for no reason, and I just dumped the episode right there.

      I will say that I am loving the sudden turnabout of fair play. Everyone criticizes Josh constantly, and now he gets to hit back at Rutskarn. Never mind that Ruts currently has a 50/50 murder spree/relative competence record, for the moment anyway. Maybe a nice break’ll let us get back to the gaming instead of the griefing.

      1. eaglewingz says:

        To be fair, OWB was instigated by Shamus, so I give Josh a pass on that one.

        New Vegas was a grind to get through, tho. I still haven’t watched all the eps.

        I blame the game and the group dynamic instead of Josh. NV didn’t seem to lend itself to much snarky commentary and the endless OT troll-fest got old fast.

      2. Adam says:

        Hate to nitpick, but that was Honest Hearts, not OWB. They specifically vetoed OWB due to ridiculous amounts of inventory management and general psychosis.

  17. Armstrong says:

    Damn Josh is critical when he isn’t playing.
    He bitches like a guy who has to ride Shotgun after loosing his driver’s license.
    Viva el Rutskarno.

  18. Wtrmute says:

    I remember Ruts doing this level on Livestream. I am surprised that this went as well as it did — perhaps the guys are a kind of good luck charm?

    1. Entropy says:

      Or they cut a lot.

  19. CalDazar says:

    No witnesses? Thats a win for Rutskarn, with fewer dead than usual.

  20. Reet says:

    You know, I went into these episodes expecting a lot more failed attempts so I have to say I am dissapoint.
    Also on an unrelated note, The old SW episodes on viddler started working again, so If you want to hear the guys complain about fallout 3 then you can.

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