Spoiler Warning S5E35: Spy is Demoman!

By Shamus
on Jun 22, 2011
Filed under:
Spoiler Warning


Link (YouTube)

I have written a script for you readers. Just read this aloud while watching this episode:

If you’re looking for the casino, you’re going the wrong way, Josh. No, the other way. Ah! You missed it. It was that door. No, now you need to go back upstairs now. You’re still… ARG. STOP. GO LEFT. What are you doing in the basement?!?! YOU’RE GOING IN CIRCLES! YOU JUST PASSED IT FOR THE THIRD TIME! ARE YOU BLIND? ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE? What are you, tormenting us!?!?! On purpose! Is my total red-faced rage and frustration your aim, sir?

You know… maybe it is. Maybe it is.

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2020201777 comments. (Seventy-seven is the smallest positive integer requiring five syllables in English!)

From the Archives:

  1. Klay F. says:

    You know, one thing I’ll thank a vague deity for is that Obsidian didn’t design the subway and sewer systems in Fallout 3.

    • Hitch says:

      Every building interior in New Vegas is a maze that twists back on itself and every time you look at the pip-boy map several floors are displayed at once so it’s completely useless.

      • Klay F. says:

        Thats what I meant. There were plenty of things wrong with Fallout 3 but at least Obsidian didn’t design the interiors of the game.

      • Ayegill says:

        You’re right. I swear to god, they bought the portal engine off valve and used it to create geometrically impossible corridors. Seriously, i think someone at obsidian is just trolling us all.

  2. Pete says:

    As far as NPC execution plans go, that was very… creative.

    • Zagzag says:

      Is it me or did Veronica say “What did I miss?” right after she got up from the floor? That has got to be one of the best accidently timed lines in Obsidian history

      EDIT: Someone has already pointed this out a couple of comments below, which I spectacularly failed to notice, despite having actually read the offending comment

  3. Factoid says:

    I have always found it hilarious how out of all the trolling you guys engage in to provoke one another, Josh is by far the most subtle and frequently successful.

    • Dude says:

      I think he needs to go balls out one episode. Just completely get wasted and ignore everybody and just caress his missile launcher with the open inventory screen for 24 minutes.

  4. nawyria says:

    Dear god the explosions, I don’t think the engine was designed to handle that sort of stuff. “What did I miss?”

  5. TraderRager says:

    Reginald Cuftbert – Assassin, demolitionist, bonnet wearer, not a mercenary.

  6. X2-Eliah says:

    This quest was one of the more annoying ones in the game, for me.. Horrible interior labyrinths, senseless plot hooks (the whole stripper deal, murder/guns redundancy), annoying NPCs (with horrible voice acting), and it didn’t even fit in the game, really. It’s more like some sort of stuffy detective story, ported in a universe where it just does not fit in.

    Also, I really really dislike the interior design of this place. Amazing how fast Josh breezed through this quest, even doing all the things more or less in the right way.

  7. Eric says:

    The ridiculously confusing interior environments in New Vegas start to make a lot more sense when you realise that JE Sawyer designed most of them, and he’s a die-hard tabletop gamer – he probably sees everything from above rather than first-person, without necessarily realising just how complex the layouts end up being.

  8. Vect says:

    I think it’s implied that the Omertas swearing and being assholes is just kinda their act/schtick. The Chairmen speak like Rat Pack rejects and the White Glove Society act all hoity-toity. It’s their theme.

    For example: There’s Carlito, the runaway in Vault 21 who wants to go and get hitched with the prostitute. He talks like a regular human being.

    Well about the Omerta’s plan… It’s probably been set in motion before the start of the game. That and it’s really Vulpes’ plan.

    • Eric says:

      According to canon, House basically gave the different tribes that ended up forming the casinos all their clothes, instructions on how to behave, protection, etc. in exchange for the profits and their undying loyalty. It’s all very much just a show, although of course Big Sal and some others are still legitimate assholes.

  9. GM says:

    ha ha Last request that was so true :)

  10. poiumty says:

    5:04 -> clanden clips through the floor.

    Pay close attention to the subtitles. Obsidian is playing with us.

    Oh and I hated this level’s guts. Spent what seemed like hours trying to find where the stupid marker told me to go.

  11. ProudCynic says:

    Ah, the Gomorrah quest… I remember finding some nice mid to end-game weapons in those crates. I still use a riot shotgun I think I found there.

    Wait, you don’t have to close the door when you set off the thermite? You don’t even take any damage? Seriously? I always close the door beforehand–you’d think Obsidian would do something with that, even if it was a debuff ‘Temporarily Deaf’ that gave -2 to perception. I am disappointed.

    I remember when I got called to talk with them, I tricked them into killing each other (Big Sal and Nero). That was satisfying. …Like exactly what you did! I thought it was a speech check. And I don’t recall the room spontaneously exploding afterwards either.

    Also, Old World Blues has been dated–July 19th. Any chance we’ll get to see a run through of that here? Or is the season wrapping up?

  12. Mystikos says:

    The Strip, though run by Mr House, is jointly policed by his Securitons and a group of NCR soldiers acting as a make-shift police force (the dudes with the ‘MP’ armbands and cattle prods). The latter can investigate any crimes committed by NCR citizens, and punish them according to NCR law. I’d hazard a guess that Troike falls under their remit, hence his apprehension.

  13. Moriarty says:

    I like how Josh first complains about being to near to the explosions when there is a thick steel door in the way, and then five minutes later proceeds to detonate three charges of C4 in the room he currently sits in.

  14. Alexander The 1st says:

    Agent Smith: “You’re empty.”

    Neo: “So are you. Oh, and I brought C4 with me. Just in case I needed a holdout weapon, you never know. *Pulls detonator*”

  15. NonEuclideanCat says:

    Shamus, I think it’s best to just assume Hanlon’s Razor and walk away.

  16. mixmastermind says:

    That ending was AMAZING.

    • What I wished would happen is they reverse pickpocket C4 into Cachino, then use him as a de facto suicide bomber when he walks into the room.

      For a while there I was dissapointed, but then I saw what actually happened.

      • Winter says:

        I… what… i… can… what… can they actually do that???

        • yeah – reverse pickpocket C4 into someone’s pocket and it’ll stay armed until you detonate it, at which point, big explosion.

          That’s actually how I took out Benny last time – hiding with a stealth boy by the cashier’s desk, then giving one of his bodyguards C4 as he walked by. They assembled where they usually are and I exploded them.

  17. Museli says:

    At the risk of inserting some realism into the proceedings, I’m pretty sure thermite is non-explosive. The bright light is right, and the guns should be left as piles of molten slag, but that massive boom? Nope.

    Also, something horrible should happen to the level designers behind Gomorrah. The place looks good and feels suitably grimy, but actually geting around it is a horrible experience, on the first visit and the fiftieth.

    • Hitch says:

      Bullets in a fire will go off. Burning all those guns and ammo with thermite would cause them to detonate. But, yeah, instead of one big boom and a flash of white there should have been fireworks all over the room. Of course that would have blown the special effects budget. Also shrapnel should have been a serious hazard from standing in front of the open door.

      So, push the button, the door closes and you hear every type of weapon fire in the game going off for a few seconds, then you can open the door and see the melted slag of former weapons.

    • Wtrmute says:

      No, the massive boom is the compressed nitrocellulose inside the cartridge jackets passing their flash point at Warp 5. Still, even if there was no explosion, Reginald should’ve got a good suntan from staying this close with the door open…

    • ps238principal says:

      Josh’s thermite complaints were kind of funny, as the Santa sack full of explosives would run in fear from the inventory he carries around. :)

    • Winter says:

      I assume that the thermite inside the sealed containers (which is what it was, right?) would explode with the pressure.

  18. Eärlindor says:

    See this is one of the reasons why I watch Spoiler Warning. I almost always learn something about the game I never knew before from Josh, and there’s bound to be a hilarious explosion at some point…. I watched that last bit twice…

  19. Gale says:

    Best part of the episode for me was watching Josh carefully picking up scraps of fried iguana and ancient cola, completely ignoring the stack of weightless and practically infinite stimpacks he has in his pocket. And then going on his usual healing food binge at the end of the episode! Amazing.

  20. Hitch says:

    “Who cares about a dead prostitute? There are no cops in this town who’ll bother investigating a dead prostitute.”

    Pimps care about dead prostitutes, and they tend to be a bit more direct in dealing with people who kill their prostitutes than cops. And there are no cops in this town who’ll bother with keeping the pimps in check. I’d take my chances with killing anyone else in New Vegas before a prostitute. That’s the one type of person that might get you in trouble.

    Not that Obsidian bothered to mention that detail anywhere in the game.

  21. Aulayan says:

    Sad to say, today marked the day where I finally decided I’m done with New Vegas.

    The quests got on my nerves, yes. But mainly it was play for 20 minutes, 360 freezes. After days of this I’m over.

    Slightly OT I know, but the frustration really built high in me.

    • Attercap says:

      Both Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas were games I had to install to the XBox hard drive in order for them not to constantly crash. I think I still had the rare freeze-crash when installed, but it made the game much more playable.

  22. Littlefinger says:

    This is basically how my Caesar [Kai-Zarrr] execution played out. Me, surrounded by all Caesar bodyguards, and the big man himself, punching down on my for getting caught C4’ing Caesar [Kai-Zar], all but one with a nice pack of C4 in their pants. I push the detonator. The world trembles with the sound of the blast. Corpses and torn limbs fly everywhere. Books and bottles smash against the wall from the explosion. Then, silence. When the smoke clears, a lone survivor stands alive. He has 3 hitpoints.

  23. Sydney says:

    Those walls were made of hard background steel. The crates were just spongey foreground steel.

  24. BenD says:

    NPC, as Clanden falls through the floor: “Nice clip there.”
    Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  25. Daemian Lucifer says:

    The pig was slaughtered in the abattoir.

    So clanden is making a serbian film?

    I like it how there is pre-war money in an unlocked desk,while the safe only has incriminating tapes.Its like the tapes are so big that not even paper can fit next to them.

    11:50 More like something Mumbles wrote.

  26. Ander the Halfling Rogue says:

    You know, for all the whining about the convoluted map, Josh doesn’t seem to waste that much time aimlessly wandering.
    Still, one of the best Spoiler Warnings ever (minus all the swearing. Is that supposed to add realism or something? ‘Cause it sounds unnecessary and ridiculous) It’s definitely one of the best endings.

  27. Alphadrop says:

    I wonder how many people have died of starvation wandering the labrynthine corridors of this casino.
    I find it worse than the vaults.

  28. Deadpool says:

    Best unintentional joke of the season:

    As his body disappears into the ground, someone exclaims “Nice clip!”

    The fact NO ONE commented on it, hurts my soul.

    Btw, is it me or is rutskarn’s stream further behind today than usual…

  29. therandombear says:

    so..Josh is a demoman, he clearly tried to sticky jump with that C4.

    I never did anything else then killing Clanden, I see why too. That safe was horribly hidden, behind a shelf like that >.<

  30. I do enjoy this quest, if only because of the creative ways to kill the bosses at the end – they’re just standing there, you can go nuts.

    I tended to employ the same tactic as Josh though. Only I didn’t bother talking to them.

  31. decius says:

    “How do you get the guns onto the strip?”
    “We smuggle them using a complicated method that involves bribery and risk.”
    “I know a great agency where you can pay people to move items from one place to another, and they deliver to the casinos. Here, take my incinerator and rocket launcher.”

  32. Low-Level DM says:

    Uh, Josh? Small gameplay question. If you have 100+ stimpacks, why are you eating squirrel bits to recover from three broken limbs and 7 HP?

  33. jokerman89 says:

    No way, you guys missed the “Nice clip there.” comment…thats terrible

    also i love how Veronica gets up from being blow to shit and says “what did i miss?”

  34. Andrew B says:

    I know that ALL interiors in New Vegas are horrible to navigate, but isn’t it the case that real life casinos are ALSO horrible to navigate? I thought they made them intentionally confusing to walk around so that it’s that much harder to leave? (Not that I think this is what Obsidian are doing. They just can’t design an indoor map.)

  35. aldowyn says:

    I have to mention this… at 5:04, right after the dude who went through the floor, someone said “Nice clip there”.

    Just had to point that out.

  36. Chris says:

    Shamus: “There’s not even a body!”
    There is, it’s in a maintenance room. You need the key from Clanden, and finding it and examining it bypasses the need to get the Troike blackmail note.

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