DM of the Rings XC:
Don’t Dream it’s Over

By Shamus
on Apr 20, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings

The battle drags on.
And on and on.

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A Hundred!2010There are 130 comments here. I really hope you like reading.

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  1. I think the DM was cheating when he was rolling for the number of wandering monsters as Helms Deep.

  2. Bugsysservant says:

    I think the players are going to be p*ssed when they find that after the marathon battle
    1. Gandalf saves the day, making their actions irrelevant
    2. They have been fighting low level orcs and have earned very little in the way of XP or treasure
    (except for Legolas perhaps, he seems to be enjoying himslef quite thoroughly)

  3. Alex says:

    To Shamus (because you do bother):

    I like DM of the Rings because it’s more than just a funny comic, with this comment system you have an easily accesable online community (of sorts) for role players that manages to appeal even to those of us that shy away from forums.
    It’s nice, funny and easy going.

    Back to the casting issue.

    Bugsysservant: Yes you’re right on both accounts, it is very hard to cast for the role of Galadriel.
    Part of the beauty of the elves in the book is that they were almost, if not, impossible to picture – at least for me.
    I just think there was room for improvemnt and like you said, the whole special effects thing didn’t really hit home with me either.

    But Liv Tyler and that other guy just wrecked the suspension of disbelief, it made me want to punch somebody.

    And call me old-school or a warcraft fan or what have you, but I still think that Gimli’s shoulders are too narrow in those stills even without the helmet – all dwarves should have a scotish accent, a beard and broad shoulders.

  4. Blindeye says:

    Diamond, Jinstra was right. Most of the fight was me rolling five attacks per Lunar ever four ticks. (The battle lasted maybe seven ’rounds’, approximately 30 ticks)
    Also, one Lunar, a Changing Moon, wasn’t so interested in killing, and he focused on the Heroic Mortals (who aren’t extras) and only did enough bashing damage to discourage them from fighting him anymore. (He had actualy defeated 3, though killed none, by the end of the Melee)
    Those 5 kills was from the other Lunar, the Full Moon, while in Deadly Beastman + Righteous Lunar Fury. She fought the more skilled mortal extras as well. If they had focused on the other mortals (the ones who had no chance of even getting close to their insane DVs) the kill/defeat count would have been much higher.

  5. Yahzi says:

    Before you rag on the casting, remember Christopher Lee as Saruman – that was perfect! Aragorn, Boromir, and Gandalf were also fantastic calls, particularly since they got Aragorn out of a hat.

  6. Bugsysservant says:

    “Before you rag on the casting, remember Christopher Lee as Saruman – that was perfect! Aragorn, Boromir, and Gandalf were also fantastic calls, particularly since they got Aragorn out of a hat.”-Yahzi

    I have no problem with most of the roles in the movies, in fact I love Sir Ian McKellen and found that he played the party of Gandalf (especially the grey) perfectly. Saruman was good to, but I definately prefer Gandalf. The only reason I can find to complain about most of the casting would be as the elves as a whole. And from the varied responses on this forum I recieved apparently people envision the elves in very different ways. I just think that Peter Jackson chose to portray elves as sort of above average humans, whereas in the books they were truly different beings, a fact emphasized in the Hobbit when Bilbo visits Rivendell and is mystified by the actions of the elves there. Ah well.

  7. Merrigold says:

    “Before you rag on the casting, remember Christopher Lee as Saruman – that was perfect! Aragorn, Boromir, and Gandalf were also fantastic calls, particularly since they got Aragorn out of a hat.”-

    What? I thought they left him in a hat — or maybe they should have left him in a hat — he’d have looked better! I have to say, I did find the presentation of Aragorn in the movies annoying, as he didn’t look *anywhere* near as attractive as I’d always imagined him! Even at the end, when he was cleaned up.

    Though, to be slightly more serious, I thought two of the reasons they showed Aragorn the way they did in the movie were
    (1) he’s a ranger, he’s SUPPOSED to be spending his life covered in mud — how CAN he look any good, without a bath for months — I’ve always loved the “foul is fair” bit, from LOTR, when Sam and Frodo meet Aragorn in the Inn at Bree, and say that a servant of Sauron would have looked fairer but felt fouler.
    (2) the elves are supposed to be gorgeous and ethereal, but you’re stuck with humans playing them, so you have to dull-down Aragorn and make sure that he always looks worse than the elves. Which makes it a bit hard to believe, that anyone would fall for him. The main problem with the elves, IMHO, was that they all looked like they’d had bad face lifts…

  8. xrazy says:

    i can only imagine that at the end of this battle they still won’t get any loot. i can’t wait to see they’re expression then.

  9. orcbane says:

    I’ve only been in 1 session like this. We played in the DM’s back yard. We started promtly at 8, and at 3 in the morning we were so pissed at the DM that we quit the campaign… forever…

  10. superfluousk says:

    “I did find the presentation of Aragorn in the movies annoying, as he didn’t look *anywhere* near as attractive as I’d always imagined him!”

    Each to his own, because found Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn to be life-threateningly hot! (Although not in today’s screencap, where I honestly had to look twice to see if he wasn’t an orc.) And I had never imagined Aragorn as being particularly attractive at all — remember that he’s eighty-freaking-nine when the book opens, and he’s spent most of that time tramping around backwoods and fighting in civil wars! I imagined him as too tall, too skinny, lanky and gray about the edges.

    In terms of girls getting violent in game situations: None of my characters could ever, ever out-violent the guy who played the character whose idea of asking for directions was to grab a passing citizen on the street, lift him, and beat his head against the lamppost above until he started talking, *before* even asking him the question. I did, however, consistantly have the highest record of explosions caused across all campaigns — the smallest being a laboratory infested with bugs and the largest being a major city.

    Back to the comic — Gimli as my favorite character solidifies more every day! I don’t know why I have a fondness for older/married roleplayers — maybe because it’s proof that roleplaying does not preclude having a ‘life?’ *g*

  11. Valley says:

    Sorry, but it looks like the sleeping Aragorn is giving somebody the finger….I must be mistaken.

  12. Stephanie says:

    ““Cate! Honey! Listen, we need someone to play a 15,000 year-old woman and I immediately thought of you! Hello? Hello?””
    Actually, Cate Blanchett volunteered to act in the movie because she wanted to be an elf. My flatmate has a signed copy of LOTR saying “Thanks, Norman, I did it for the ears.”

  13. Shell says:

    U know, in Australia, Mountain Dew doesnt even have caffine in it… its just this horribly flavored lolly water… lol

  14. Nogard_Codesmith says:

    OK all this caffeine free Mountain Dew talk is just disturbing.
    I’m taking a survey. Where are you in the world, and does Mountain Dew have caffeine where you are?

  15. Jindra34 says:

    Caffinated though i live in USA

  16. elda says:

    Perhaps it’s a reference to the rhyme that includes “Wednesday’s child is full of woe” (which is also why the little girl in The Addams Family was named Wednesday).

    i think he calls me that after wedensday adams. because recently he’s started calling me “vamparella” i really need to stop wearing all black on school days.

  17. Snake says:

    I’m a girl and my favourite character collected trophies from the boss baddies he killed. Teeth and the like.

    My current one, being a have-a-go swashbuckling sort, tends to go down in round three against the second wave of mooks and spends the rest of the fight bleeding out while the other guys kill the cool stuff (the combats being better suited to her full-plated, greatsword-wielding companion), but on the occasions she remains standing she has a penchant for cutting bits off survivors to make them talk.

    I don’t even know if they do Mountain Dew in England. I assume they must, but I don’t recall seeing it on the shelves.

  18. No caffiene in Mountain Dew – we sensibly keep it for our espressos! CANADA

  19. Tola says:

    I don’t even know if they do Mountain Dew in England.

    They don’t. At least, as far as I know.

    On Casting: Considering that there are four people in the main cast with Numenorian blood(Aragorn, Denethor, Boromir, Faramir).

    All Numenorians are apprently meant to be obscenely handsome(Which makes sense, as they’re a better class of Men) to judge from the comments here.

    No-one comments on Denethor, Boromir, or Faramir. Why does Aragorn get all the “He looks HORRIBLE!” “No he doesn’t, he looks WONDERFUL” comments? Why him?

  20. feroshus says:

    *sigh…*

    ’bout time i leave a reply behind…

  21. Deathblade_Penguin/aka Minion of Darkness says:

    Elda says “Perhaps it’s a reference to the rhyme that includes “Wednesday’s child is full of woe” (which is also why the little girl in The Addams Family was named Wednesday).

    i think he calls me that after wedensday adams. because recently he’s started calling me “vamparella” i really need to stop wearing all black on school days.”

    As a primary school teacher, I am starting to like this teacher of yours more and more… I would love to give the students I teach nicknames like this.. Keep me update.

    Steve aka DeathbladePenguin aka Minion of Darkness aka Primary School Teacher of Darkness.,..

  22. required says:

    I’m a Dane currently living in Ireland and I’ve never seen nor tasted a Mountain Dew, but I’ve them mentioned awfully often, online.

    I get my caffeine from coffee and light colas.

    BTW: This is my first post. I just can’t resist surveys!

    I’ve been reading this comic for a while and I really enjoy it. Keep up the good work!

    Also: The other Numenorian men don’t look al that special too me, but Aragon does stand out, being far more handsome than the others, so I see no reason to discuss the other Numenorian men. They just don’t make nearly as strong an impression as Aragon does. Then again, he does have a special background, so he should stand out, IMO.

  23. Anthelios says:

    Speaking of “deus ex machina” its funny that we haven’t seen any eagles yet. That always struck me as Tolkien’s answer to writting himself into a corner.

    First time poster.. This comic rocks. Keep up the awesome work!

  24. Wraithshadow says:

    My understanding is that there’s version of Mountain Dew in Canada that does in fact have caffeine- and possibly more sugar than usual. Apparently it’s sold as an energy drink, rather than simply a soft drink.

  25. Auke says:

    What strikes me most about this comic is the consistently high quality of both screenshots and humor. No, even better than that, that it has evolved from situational gags into a true story with interesting characters, though we only know them through the game.

    I hope we can glean something more of the personal life of the DM from the comics to come. If he has one, that is…

    About the Mountain Dew: maybe I overlooked it, but I don’t think we have Mountain Dew in the Netherlands. Though if elves live in trees and can walk on snow, it figures that they would drink mountain dew…

  26. Anistalker says:

    One of the best I’ve seen so far

  27. BainIthron says:

    Well… I will say this… even I haven’t read the full page on the Mountain Dew Argument:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Dew

    Wikipedia ftw. In summary, ends up Canada, Australia, and several states in the US don’t allow Mountain Dew to have Caffeine. So, for those who do not have it, blame your governments. Appararently there was a caffienated Canadian variant by taking advantage of a loophole, but didn’t sell well. They launched in England but pulled it for unknown reasons.

    *poof*

  28. Shamus says:

    Re Mountain Dew: The name as always struck me as absurd. “mountain dew” conjures up images of pure water gleaned from the leaves in the early morning, high up on the mountain where the taint of man has never touched the land. You know, clean and stuff. This is a good name for bottled water.

    But the drink itself is a thick syrup of sugar and caffene the color of urine and served in a bottle the color of nuclear waste. The commercials all show over-amped nutjobs leaping out of helecopters so they can ride down the side of an errupting volcano on jet-propelled skateboards. The name of the drink is perfectly at odds with the entire image and nature of the thing.

    Kind of silly, really.

    In the meantime, I’m sure the high sugar and caffene content of the drink has done more to cause jittery, hyperactive players to kill plot-critical NPCs than anything else. It’s about the worst drink I can imagine for playing tabletop games and videogames, which is their primary usage. Despite the ads, I’m willing to bet that most people doing extreme sports just drink water.

  29. Steve says:

    [Shamus] The one that gets me is those bottled water ads that talk about “pure mountain spring water”. I used to do a lot of climbing in Wales on a variety of mountains (but mostly Cader Idris) and I more than once saw someone stop to drink in a pure mountain stream, only to turn a corner and see a several-days dead sheep lying in it upstream.

    My Keen Ranger Senses never let me fall for that more than once. My Keen Ranger Bowels couldn’t have taken a second hit of Power Word “Dead Sheep In The Drinking Water” which takes weeks and a course of antibiotics to shake off.

    One for the DMs of wilderness adventures to remember.

    Steve.

  30. Steve says:

    My only real grumble on the LotR movies was the decision to make Gimli little more than the comic relief.

    It has been a long time since I read the books though. It’s possible that Tolkien himself thought “I need a stupid short bloke with an axe to make the elf look good”.

    I think I remember Gimli supervising the Hornburg emergency refit so that the walls, decrepit with neglect, would stand up for more than one combat round. The movie version would have trouble finding his own backside with both hands and a map.

    Steve.

  31. Scarlet Knight says:

    ‘“mountain dew” conjures up images of pure water’
    No matter what the makers of Mountain Dew say, the name comes from moonshine (home-made alcohol , usually illegal, for those whose homes are outside the US).

    “Liv tyler is an over sized cow ”
    How many times do you think Liv Tyler has ever been told she’s too fat for a role?!

    “On Casting: Considering that there are four people in the main cast with Numenorian blood(Aragorn, Denethor, Boromir, Faramir).”

    Lastly we expect more from Aragorn than the others because he’s not just a
    Numenorian, but he’s a Numenorian KING. Better blood line….

  32. Sybarite says:

    I’ve been skulking forever, but the “Mountain Dew Debate” (A drink I loathe) made me post (oh, yeah, and I like the comic too :P ) I think the name is a reference to moonshine, i.e., stuff the old-timers made in converted outhouses up in the hills and that you used as either an alcoholic beverage or to clean your toilet with.

    And I really have to agree with Jill’s comment from earlier “Never discount a female’s capacity for rampant chaos. Doing so will eventually come back to stab you in the face.”

  33. Ricky says:

    I found Mountain dew in Malaysia around summer 1997. Not sure when exactly it came to M’sia as I was in Iowa, USA between 1994-2001. Was excited to see it there and immediately bought a can to try. That was the last can I bought, as it tasted like very sweet cough syrup.

    Nothing like the “Nectar of the Gods” (so dubbed by my US roomie who drank nothing but Moutain dew and an occasional Dr Pepper) I tasted in Iowa. Not surprisingly, it disappeared soon after.

    Gatorade trying to break into M’sia several years ago. Tasted alright but not sure if I see it around anymore, maybe in a few big hypermarts.

    Shamus, if you thought MD was bad, what do you think of Surge? (Coke’s green answer to MD) Hey, they still sell Surge in US? I still remember the 1st tv ads for Surge. Exactly what you wrote about MD b4 MD went the extreme route.

  34. Jillzmom says:

    “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” Julie Eklar (or was it Leslie Fish?)
    And they could have left out Arwen entirely, IMHO.

  35. Fickle says:

    I am now in love with Legolas-player. XD High on Mountain Dew, failing out of college and taking far too much joy in killing things? AWESOME.

    Plus, I’m chiming in as another girls who thinks that RPGs are the perfect outlet for the violent tendencies that girls don’t usually get to express. I’ve played some fairly sadistic characters and find it pretty therapeutic.

  36. Shell says:

    I dunno why I am surprised mountain dew has its own wiki *detailed* entry… hmm

  37. superfluousk says:

    “No-one comments on Denethor, Boromir, or Faramir. Why does Aragorn get all the “He looks HORRIBLE!” “No he doesn’t, he looks WONDERFUL” comments? Why him?”

    Because the fact that Sean Bean is a god of sex has never been in dispute. Same with David Wenham. Y halo thar boys.

  38. Harlock says:

    Jillzmom: Actually, that quote is Rudyard Kipling. Leslie Fish just set the poem to music…but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Julia sang it.

  39. Rikku says:

    Sounds to me like gimli is actually getting serious. theat’s a big surprise. lol watch as he explodes from all of his anger issues.

  40. Rikku says:

    Sounds to me like gimli is actually getting serious. that’s a big surprise. lol watch as he explodes from all of his anger issues.

  41. DavidRS says:

    Nice Crowded House referenced in the title… unfortunately, by the time I discovered this comic, it was all over.

  42. Diff says:

    OMG gigglefit
    I just started reading these last night and this one had me laughing the longest and hardest so far. It sounds like our highschool rp, I was the over enthousiastic one and during a champions game was all “I spray with pepper spay!” GM”He’s blind for 3 rounds” “I kick him!” GM”It hits, now roll to see where” “I got 13″ GM”You kicked him in the groin” “I kick him again!!! I got another 13!!! I kick him again!! I got another 13!!!” GM”He is now incapasitated and unable to bear children”

  43. Cynder says:

    Loving Gimli in the second frame. :)

    Elves on Mountain Dew. Who ever introduced them to it? From self experience, that stuff is DEADLY.

  44. nuker says:

    i think this was the best so far.. (i only started reading it a few days ago, this is how far i got) :)
    PS: and the one where legolas plays tony hawk :D

  45. Tybreagus says:

    to: Steve (94)

    “My only real grumble on the LotR movies was the decision to make Gimli little more than the comic relief.

    It has been a long time since I read the books though. It’s possible that Tolkien himself thought “I need a stupid short bloke with an axe to make the elf look good”.”

    This has been a big beef of mine ever since the monstrosity that was called the Dungeons and Dragons Movie. It’s like they just picked the least attractive person and made them the butt of all the jokes. They even made him a smelly coward.

    From my reading of LotR, Tolkien made Merry and Pippin the comic relief, not Gimli. He was serious, dangerous and respected. I mean, he kept up with a ranger and an elf on an extended run and fought like a tank. He was no drunken buffoon who couldn’t control his emotions.

    Also I had heard that Mountain Dew was originally a chaser for whiskey and that was why it was so sugary and strong.

  46. Mina says:

    lol, Le is really starting to crack me up!! X’D

    Shamus Gamgee, your Mountain Dew comments make me proud

  47. Sam-Chan says:

    lol, i really like reading how the dm is messing around with his players!^^ i have an idea for you when they start complaining over to less treasures again: let them go inro a dungeon where a huge glass colum filled with gold powder stands. when they trie to reach the gold, the drown in it.

    at the time my dm was confronting us this, I played a realy greedi thief – an someone else a very strong fighter who grabbed me and brought me outside while telling me how to behave.

    SAM

  48. Saoirse Young says:

    hahahahah I was already failing when I joined the D&D group at my college too ^_^

    nothing to be proud of, really, but y’know… that’s why this was so funny

  49. Trae says:

    I’ve had something similar to this. 40 orcs in one battle, 4 players involved. That’s almost all we did the session, at least 5 hours of just combat.

  50. caradoc says:

    Just want to say I thought Liv Ullmann was great as a HALF-elf. Ethereal beauty plus warm humanity. Can’t imagine anyone better.

    The only casting that bothered me was Sean Astin as Sam. I kept seeing Mikey of the Goonies.

  51. silver Harloe says:

    > Liv Tyler is an over sized cow.

    Say What? Have you seen, you know, healthy women? Ever?

  52. Faramir says:

    Now then, is it just me, or does Legolas’ dream of continually shooting orcs in the eye sockets and watching others stab them in the face seem unusually violent for a girl?

    Lulz. All girl gamers are violent. XD Especially the ones like me, who always end up playing as a guy for some unknown reason; yeah, that’s why the male username. XD

    Me: Why can’t I be the Amazon? That’s logical
    GM: You’re being the mage.

    -_-

  53. Kuro says:

    “I don’t want to roll dice until my wife divorces me.”
    Man, I hit the head on the table laughing.

  54. Nami says:

    OMG, you have done something amazing Shamus, you have made me like Legolas.
    Thank you, and STAB ANOTHER ONE IN THE FACE >D!!

  55. Jade Dragon says:

    Legolas has the best faces…

  56. Miron says:

    I’ve started GMing my first D&D campaign (as GM or as player) a few weeks ago, so I thought it’d be fun to re-read DMotR. And I must say, even after all those years and reading it for the third or fourth time, they’re still hilarious. The characters feel all fleshed out, and we can really relate to them (especially now that I’ve started D&D)

    Plus, reading the comments sometimes yield some good advice (And good laughs)

    I had never left any comment, but better 7 years late than never : Thanks Shamus!

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