Spoiler Warning S4E37: Shepard: Master Detective

By Mumbles Posted Tuesday Feb 15, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 79 comments

Link (YouTube)

I sort of love it when games try to prove they can progress the plot without any actual combat. Forget that we’ve spent weeks watching Regina hammer her skull into the soft bellies of mercenaries, the Samara loyalty quest is different. You have to talk to people, click on stuff and listen to futuristic livejournals of sexually confused youth! All the interesting parts of being an investigator.

It’s important to note that I failed this quest three times in a row. You might be wondering why a psychotic asari wouldn’t want to melt my brain. Well, do you remember when Indiana Jones casually shoots that guy who tries to intimidate him with some sparkly sword tricks? Imagine the quest is that sword dude and I’m Indy, but I forgot my gun. Why couldn’t Shepard do what she’s good at and just solve a problem with extreme, public violence? All I wanted to do was find this woman, shoot her under the table in some scummy bar and then apologize for the mess.

That’s right, two Harrison Ford movie references. Boom.


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79 thoughts on “Spoiler Warning S4E37: Shepard: Master Detective

  1. X2-Eliah says:

    Shamus, why are you dressed as batman?

    Annnnywho, I had the hardest of time doing this mission – for some reason, I couldn’t find the exact door for the ‘elite’ club section.. It wasn’t even that hidden, just the map didn’t really show how to get to the target point.

    Oh, yeah, otherwise it was a cakewalk.

    1. Yellow Eagle says:

      Because “Batman” is Mumbles

  2. Zah says:

    Clearly Shepard needs to enhance the image on that diary.

  3. Sydney says:

    Why couldn't Shepard do what she's good at and just solve a problem with extreme, public violence? All I wanted to do was find this woman, shoot her under the table in some scummy bar and then apologize for the mess.

    Because that wouldn’t have won over Samara, which was the whole point.

    1. Mumbles says:

      Samara was going to kill her anyway!

      1. Zah says:

        Kill stealing is against Samara’s code.

        1. swimon says:

          maybe that’s the origin of the whole order. It’s this thousands of years old code of social norms on one really big multiplayer server.

          Do as the team leader says, this is the first law and supersedes all others.
          No kill stealing.
          No cybering.
          Avatars must have enormous cleavage.
          If incarcerated you wait 24h and then kill the jailer… Maybe not after all.

          1. Jarenth says:

            ‘If banned, wait for 24 hours, then throw up a shitstorm on the forums.’

            It kind of evolved from there.

      2. Vect says:

        Might have something to do with “blah blah blah No Sneak Attacks” or something or “blah blah blah It’s Personal and She Needs To Get It Messy” or some unsaid part of her Justicar code.

        1. Sydney says:

          I think it’s mostly the “kill-stealing her own daughter from her after a 400-year vendetta” that would sour things if you did that. I mean, she went justicar for this. It’d be a bit annoying if someone else just came in and shot Morinth in the teeth.

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            Or maybe morinth has her barrier up at all times,except when she is sexing someone up.I doubt she never had to deal with sniper shots before,and we all know how liara escaped one of those.

            1. Sydney says:

              Even still. I can’t imagine Shepard, Grunt and Zaeed working together couldn’t outfight yet another asari biotic if they tried. That isn’t the point; the point is that this mission is about what Samara wants.

              1. Daemian Lucifer says:

                From the top of my mind,a way to stop 3 trained assassins from taking you down when you are a biotic:Throw singularity amongst them,then run away and disappear.

                Say what you want,but taking someone down in their home is always preferable than doing it in a crowded place,whether magic is involved or not.

      3. RTBones says:

        That may be true, but the story is so much less titillating that way.

      4. Ringwraith says:

        That’s the precise problem, it wouldn’t be possible to attempt to shoot her from under a table or whatever, she’s smart enough to go after people who don’t have guns (or any other sort of weapon for that matter) on them.
        She’s quite cautious and easily spooked, as Samara says about a brute-force approach not working and would simply cause her to go to ground for quite a while.

        1. guy says:

          But… She’s in a known room. WITH ONE DOOR. You have 9 people.

          1. Nidokoenig says:

            Take off and nuke it from orbit, only way to be sure. Also, all the Renegade points you could ever need.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:


              Singularity.There,all 9 people disabled long enough for her to escape.


              I like that.Besides,its omega,so not like anyone would care.

              1. acronix says:

                What`s singularity´s radius? If the attackes put up enough distance between each other, would the singularity get them all? Or what about aproaching from the four sides? Though that would need hiding beforehand…um…

                The nuke is a better idea, anyway.

                1. Aldowyn says:

                  You guys are using game mechanics to solve a theoretical problem. Not a good idea.

  4. Raygereio says:

    At least Samara’s cleavage does provide us with an explanation for why such a reportedly awesome and powerful biotic isn't that awesome and powerful in game; she needs all of her biotic assets to keep her other assets from sagging.

    1. Smirker says:

      Well, she is close to a thousand years old afterall… Of course she has to augment that support!

  5. anaphysik says:

    It does seem like the one time when Shepard’s penchant for excessive and rapid application of violence would just straight up solve the problem.

    Anyway, relevance: http://badspot.us/img/Mass-Effect-2-Vanguard-of-Seduction.html

    1. smudboy says:

      I’ve had the same opinion:

      Let’s see…
      1) We’ve gotten the heads up from Aria.
      2) We’ve got a Justicar who kills indiscriminately.
      3) We’re a Spectre/Ex-Spectre and kill whomever we want, anyway.
      4) Regardless of class, elbow of doom would do it.

      There was no reason to play 20 questions to seduce the seductress.

      1. Bret says:

        If only.

        But Samara doesn’t kill indiscriminately. She kills according to an ancient and weirdass code.

        If you want to keep her happy and focused, it’s best to let her finish the job that she utterly destroyed her life to manage by the book.

        Remember when Batman was going to kill Joe Chill, but Carmine Falcone got to the guy first?

        Remember how much that messed him up, so he started traveling the world and getting into prison riots?

        You’d get the same here, and I’m sorry, but that isn’t a useful place to be in a suicide mission.

        1. PurePareidolia says:

          Shoot her in the stomach or kneecap her or something else that would incapacitate her, then let Samara (who is in fact standing in the club) finish her off at her leisure. The only way Morinth is even a match for Samara is if she’s at full strength, so this shouldn’t be a problem.

          1. Caldazar says:

            Shooting her doesn’t seem like a simple task to me.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Indeed.She is a paranoid biotic,so probably has her barrier up most of the time,except for when she is sucking someone dry.So youd have to shoot her from the cain just to incapacitate her.

  6. IgnusDei says:

    Personally i thought the mission was a waste of a perfectly good plot. There wasn’t much ambiguity with Morinth: she was a remorseless sociopathic predator. And then there’s Sheppard’s motivations for recruiting her: He already has a perfectly good super-biotic (Two, in fact!) and it’s not like Morinth demonstrated all that much more power.

  7. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Remember when that assassin wanted to surprise liara and shot her when she was alone in her home?Yeah,its not that easy to one up an asari biotic,especially when she is a paranoid one.And liara was in fear for her life for just about 2 years,not 400.Not to mention that liara is barely an adult by asari standards.So just shooting morinth in the club,I doubt that would work.

    As for what morinth is,she is an ardat yakshi(just did that mission couple of days ago,twice in a row,so I could choose both dominate and reave).Also,asari melding is not the same as “embrace eternity” liara and the green chick do to you in 1.They reproduce through their skin,if I remember correctly.However,ardat yakshi are sterile,so I guess they just mind fuck their victims.

    And Josh still didnt pick the last rank of his character class.Though I admit,its not really that important on normal difficulty.I still dont get why people are saying ammo is scarce on insanity though.With top rank in your character ability,you can spam your attack skill basically every 2,3 seconds.Aside from soldiers,who uses bullets anyway?Sure,a sniper shot to the head for the mid-boss mooks is the way to go,but with lowly guys,I just spam incinerate till they all die.

    Btw,while you are doing loyalty missions,will you be doing grunts?Id love to see how you deal with the tresher maw.It was silly easy with the widow and cloak,but I wonder how vanguards deal with it.

    EDIT:Vect has just reminded me:Did you guys hear about duty calls?
    Too bad it didnt exist when you were doing fallout 3.

    EDIT 2:So Mumbles is saying that all the people sharing a name are sharing traits as well?Anything you want to admit to us about all these hot male aliens in mass effect,Mumbles?

    1. Josh says:

      Well, I didn’t pick the last level of my class skill because I didn’t have enough points – I’m almost certain I do pick it after this mission.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Yes,but fire ammo increases only weapon damage,while assault mastery increases both weapon and power damage,health and power cooldown.Though,like I said,its not really important on normal,it does give you quite an edge on higher difficulty.

          1. Aldowyn says:

            I think you said a while ago that you wanted Inferno ammo. I don’t blame you, either – class skills are boring.

            They would let you do more Renegade conversation options, though.

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Having charge recharge quicker isnt really that boring.Plus the renegade thing.

              Though explosions are nice.Unlock cain soon Josh.Or hack it in if necessary.

              1. Aldowyn says:

                YES the cain! On normal I’m pretty sure it one-hits everything in the game, including the final boss.

                And it SOUNDS boring.

          2. krellen says:

            I like Technology.

            Boom-de-yada boom-de-yada.

    2. Ringwraith says:

      If I recall, the whole asari thing was about the fact that they can merge nervous systems with anything, which is also how they do all the fancy stuff like transferring memories, as the brain is just big bundle of nerves mostly.

  8. Deadpool says:

    Btw, on the subject of finding that VIP section thing… On Bioware’s defense, I’m pretty sure it’s on the map…

    1. Ringwraith says:

      I also stumbled into it (well, the door anyway) first time I was on Omega, as I tend to explored everywhere on a first visit if possible.

    2. The Hokey Pokey says:

      It is, but remember these are the people who complained about how it was hard to find their way around Bioshock. You know, the game with the giant yellow arrow in the center of the screen.

  9. Desgardes says:

    You missed a golden opportunity to put in Witness. Blowing Danny Glover away *or* you could tie him responding to the elder saying, “It’s not our way” with, “It’s my way”

    Or, go with the Fugitive/Us Marshalls, tie that into Samara’s retarded code.

    2 is nothing. If you wanna be pro, you also have to tie in 6 days 7 nights, and I’ll even throw in using David Schwimmer as your jumping point for that.

  10. Sydney says:

    Called Shot:Uterus would be the best power. And Josh would probably use it to break the leveling system somehow.

  11. Vipermagi says:

    I lost it at “racking up the puns”. That was… really bad.

    1. Sydney says:

      ^ This.

      I was smiling along with the puns until Ruts said that. It knocked me straight down to poker face, it was so bad.

      1. RTBones says:

        That’s the thing about Ruts and puns – it’s either boom or bust.

    2. Nick says:

      I dunno, I bounced back ok from it

      1. Irridium says:

        Nice to see you were able to stay abreast.

  12. Josh R says:

    Torchwood had a plot with the exact same thing – someone who killed whoever they had sex with

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Yeah,its an old trope:

      Mythology section lists lilith as one of those,so it is over 3000 years old.

  13. Dante says:

    Another reason that the Spoiler Warning crew would never meet in real life: Mumbles stinks :P

    1. Desgardes says:

      *Smells* it’s different.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        My dog’s got no nose!

        1. Kristin says:

          Your dog’s from Barcelona?

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            No,I got it from hitler.

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Plus,Mumbles wouldnt strangle Rutskarn,shed punch him in the face.Also,I think by the end of this season,shell change her name into maxima power.

      There,I think Ive filled my quota for pop culture references.

  14. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Wait…Somethings wrong with this picture.There are 3 guys in the spoiler warning crew,and its the girl that is being distracted by samaras boobs?

    1. Desgardes says:

      Wait…You said something’s wrong.

      EDIT: Shamus is married, Josh is playing, and Ruts doesn’t like girls yet.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        “and Ruts doesn't like girls yet.”

        The more this show progresses,the younger Rutskarn seems to be.I wonder if hell end up being in a womb by the end of this season.

    2. Integer Man says:

      I love that about this show.

      Yeah. Samara does seem to be the soccer mom of the group so you really gotta wonder if she’s even aware of what she’s wearing. It’s like she went to put her armor on in the morning (for a day of stargazing) and forgot a piece.

  15. Nasikabatrachus says:

    If Mumbles’ credits title is not “likes the bass” after this episode I will be most disappointed.

  16. Shamus, have you noticed that on the main page, Mumbles’ posts don’t display the date in the new date field? They have a date when you go to the specific post, but not on the main page. Huh.

    1. Shamus says:


      I’m calling the WordPress date-printer. Why isn’t it printing the date? I just I don’t know what this doesn’t…

      *eye twitching*

      1. Desgardes says:

        It’s because Mumbles is timeless

      2. krellen says:

        Theory: the date will only display on the later post if two are made in the same day. Your CSI post and Josh’s first Rift post have the same deal going on.

  17. Velkrin says:

    On Shockwave: The ability is most useful on places where you can chuck mooks into the background. Off the top of my head:
    Thane’s recruitment, Grunt’s recruitment, Mordin’s Recruitment (they get sucked into the fans if you toss them high enough), Legion’s recruitment, Miranda loyalty mission, the collector ship platforming portion, anywhere with Husks.

    Though if you do this the drinking game will have to be updated to include railing kills.

    On the subject of knowing where to go for Sam’s loyalty mission:

    EDI flat out tells you to check with Aria. See 4:28.
    Failing that you can also puzzle it out for yourself with a bit of game logic:

    1. Does this quest immediately open a new area?

    A: Yes. Go to new area.
    B: No. Go to question 2.
    C: Yes, but you have to do a side quest first. Put quest off until later.

    2. Did the quest giver give you a specific location when giving you the quest?

    A: Yes. Go to that area.
    B: No. It was a General Area. Go to question 3.
    C: No. They didn’t tell me anything. Minimize game, find walkthrough.

    3. When you enter said general area with the quest giver did they, or anyone else, mention anything related to the quest?

    A: Yes. Follow up on that information.
    B: No. Go to question 4.
    C: Maybe, I wasn’t paying attention. Ignore quest. Find something shiny to buy.

    4. Did someone in the area previously give you important information (EG: Someone that directed you to other party members)

    A: Yes. Find that person, get information from them.
    B: No. Entire area is useless to you. Find option to destroy and loot. (Evil option)
    C: No. Entire area is useless to you. Find option to destroy and loot. Feel bad about it later. Buy something shiny to cheer yourself up. (Good option)

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      That works when you are playing alone and arent distracted by 3 more people constantly speaking in your headphones.

      Though opening the quest log would have worked.

  18. Fat Tony says:

    @ 6mins 30secs

    So by in that vein Ruts also has an internet degree in actual sex. =D

  19. Specktre says:

    Wow Shamus, you have a way of pointing everything out.

    I just noticed that 400 year thing. X(

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      To be fair to samara,you never ask her what her daughter is like.

      1. Deadpool says:

        Yeah, I never got the impression Samara was just finding all this info out so much as she was TELLING you stuff she knew…

  20. SpammyV says:

    You know, I don’t want to sound like I’m in favor of dying, but if I’m understanding this right, not only do you get to do it with a hot blue alien chick, but it’s so awesome it literally fries your brain. Doesn’t really seem like a bad way to go.

    You know, if people in the Mass Effect universe are down with doctor-assisted suicide, then Morinth could have an actual job. I mean let’s face it, your options are get an injection, to get mind-meltingly awesome Woohoo. Yeah… not seeing the choice there.

    1. Nidokoenig says:

      Ardat-Yakshi apparently increase their power level with every kill, so she’d be harder to control, and Samara mentions that Morinth enjoys the hunt, so euthanising terminal patients would require some serious character growth.

  21. Aldowyn says:

    Hmm. Apparently there’s something …
    *puts sunglasses on in the dimly lit alley*
    “Nef”-arious going on here.

    Hmm. First time I tried that, not sure how well it worked. ANYWAY… This mission isn’t too bad, but I’m not a fan of Samara’s character (Lawful Stupid. Ugh.), so I don’t like it as much as I could. The whole investigating what Morinth likes and then using that to get her attention is pretty interesting though.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      It worked quite well.In the sense that your pun was…
      *takes glasses off and doesnt see a thing*
      …quite sinister.


      1. Aldowyn says:

        So you mention, discuss, and repeat the internet meme and not the parts actually relevant to the topic? Shows how much we care about this mission, huh? :D

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Well I already expressed my opinion about the mission,pretty verbosely,in my previous comments.

  22. Wesley Noble says:

    “Racking” up the puns.
    I see what you did there :P

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