DM of the Rings LXXXIV:
Keeping Score

By Shamus
on Apr 6, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings

Legolas has the most kills
Legolas screaming like a woman.

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  1. Cynder says:

    Laugh Out LOUD at panels, 6, 8, 9 & 10!! Total classics! “Who’s the elf?” It actually looks like that’s what he’s really saying…very clever Shamus, very clever.

    1. “Gimli did not have to wait for them to scale the walls to begin killing orcs–he won first round initiative! But did he use it? Did he charge into the horde, ax ablaze? Did he throw his throwing axes? Did he so much as taunt the buggers?!?

    No.

    And now he wants to complain that his girlfriend is beating him? Whiner.”

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Too true!!

    2. ““And then you will begin screaming like a woman”

    … just needed Aragorn to pop up and add “A HOT woman!” ”

    OMG!! I can soo see him saying that!! XD

  2. Mina says:

    thanks, dude, I totally choked on my oatmeal cookie.

    It didn’t ruin the funny, though

  3. Aragorn says:

    “SAY IT! SAY IM THE ELF!”

    L-O-L

  4. Sam-Chan says:

    remember the “save you initiative”-comment? forget it, gimli can hardly do anything, poor melee-fighter.

    but I really never had an… idiot in my party who screamed something like “I am the elf! yeah!!” – would be funny though^^

    SAM

  5. d'Antarel says:

    I love the faces on Legolas. Those are fucking hilarious. Plus, they make him seem like he’s ACTUALLY saying that stuff…in the midst of a battle…life is good.

  6. Biggus says:

    The last panel is the funniest one yet. Thanks, you’ve just made my night!

  7. Nickerbockers says:

    Oh so very hilarious! Perfect shots of the girly elf there! And after having a dwarven fighter myself, and running about with overpowered magic users and a DM with a god character (hated that) I can definitly relate to the frustration of sitting waiting while everyone else got kills! And everyone going ‘oh I just killed, like, a million of these things…. what did you do?’ But once those damn goblins got close enough…. blood went everywhere. It was glorious XD

  8. ERROR says:

    Random Question: What does “sp” mean? People keep putting that in their posts, but I don’t get it.

    Also, in response to the previous post…
    God character? What did the DM play, a 20th level monk? ‘Cause those things are indeed godlike… On paper, anyways. I’ve never actually played one, or seen one played, but they seem godlike to me.

  9. Serenitybane says:

    Hehe, always a good way to get back at the archer :)

  10. Sofawall says:

    Heh, before the pictures loaded it was “Legolas has the most kills, Legolas Screams like a girl”

  11. Samdidliambo says:

    The comments on how the numbers game would go in D&D seem to match what happened in the book. Legolas led early on, but once he got in the thick of it, and especially when he was surrounded (good for cleaving), he made up the difference.

  12. caradoc says:

    I’ve kinda lost track of the rules, but a couple of editions back a fighter with 18 str and 18 dex, wielding a +3 dagger, was an awesome attacker. He gets 3 or 4 blows per round and even though the dagger does 1d4, when you add up all the damage mods it’s far deadlier than a mere sword.

  13. Earisu says:

    Man, this comic is making Gimli my favorite character. I never thought that would happen. Also, in reference to the last comic: My players are insufferable geniuses who come up with frustratingly effective, creative ways to solve the problems I put in front of them.

  14. Gaurav says:

    Those last two frames are epic. Can’t wait to see where this goes!

  15. yadayadayada says:

    not cool man. Legolas had 17 by this point. losers.

  16. Danmako says:

    This one is made of pure awesome….especially the way gimli calmly explains it all…leaving Legolas shocked

  17. Old Woman #35 says:

    Yay! You managed to get the Legolas/Gimli Kill Count in!!
    Best part of the movie, those two.

  18. Spike says:

    hehehehahahahahahehahahehahaha!!!!!!!!! This is great thanks a lot Shamus!

  19. John says:

    Arrows were in fact designed to break for this very reason… not the greatest idea, handing the foe ammunition, eh?

  20. Blas de Lezo says:

    Haaaaaahahahahahah! great!

  21. Nami says:

    SAY IT, SAY IT!
    I expected him to be like SAY MY NAME BITCH!

    But the crowning moment of funny for me is the fact that his hair looks like it’s being blown back by a fan in the last panel. I’m not sure why, but it’s what I notice.

  22. Jade Dragon says:

    panel 8- LOVE THAT FACE!!

  23. nmathew says:

    This was the first one that I literally laughed out loud to. Excellent delivery.

  24. WJS says:

    This is probably as good a point as any to mention how abysmal Aragorn’s tactics were in the film. When the orcs started pouring through the breach, he had the elves give them a volley of arrows, then charge into mêlée! Naturally, by the time they reached the orcs they were well on their own side of the breach, and unable to prevent more orcs from coming through. If they had rapid fired into the breach instead, there were more than enough of them to kill any orcs stupid enough to try to pass. Thanks to dumbass though, they were completely unable to take advantage of the chokepoint.

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