DM of the Rings LXXVII:
An Important Distinction

By Shamus
on Mar 19, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings

One ale or three?

I tried making a classic “gag” strip. It worked! Not only are you getting less jokes, but I’m doing way less work! It’s almost a win-win scenario. Well halfway, anyhow.

I can’t add much to the stuff on sparse loot. The idea has become a sort of zombie joke at this point. It just keeps getting back up, no matter how dead it is. Sooner or later a cleric is going to cast turning on my loot jokes and half of my material will be obliterated in a blinding flash of holy, humorless light.

I suppose the next joke needs to be Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas standing on a corner with a crude cardboard sign, “Will fight Sauron for food.”

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From the Archives:

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  1. Cynder says:

    I think they need to rename Legolas’s name as ‘Luckless’. Poor kids.

  2. Mina says:

    LOL, ‘will fight Sauron for food” Man, I LOVE you! One of these days I’ll have to find someone to illustrate that for you. It’s too funny NOT to.

  3. Robin says:

    In my first D&D tournament (Tacticon II, in the 70s), after our party defeated a balrog and looted the room, I said, “… and my thief picks up his whip”.

    Turns out the two coppers that whip was worth lifted us past one other team into first place.

    Years later, I bumped into somebody who told me the story of how he had lost a D&D tourney because the other team had stolen a whip.

  4. Serenity Bane says:

    Very good for a gag strip. Totally funny too!

  5. caradoc says:

    The key, I think, is being able to extract the loot from the party at the same rate that they accumulate it. NPCs require bribes. Thieves and con men move in on the action. Items get damaged in transit.

    The fun is more in the getting than in the having.

  6. Grom says:

    This strip had me rolling. Just the two middle strips there, waiting for the punch line. Perfect! Goes in my top five.

    This is great stuff Shamus, just sorry I found it so late.

  7. spiralofhope says:

    *the ring is destroyed*

    “I search the lava for loot”
    *what? it’s lava*

    “well cmon there’s got to be something, it’s a boss’ place.”
    *no, it’s lava*

    “Can we at least skim the gold off the lava?”
    *sigh*

    • WJS says:

      Skim the gold off the lava? Like you expect it to float or something? Gold is one of the heaviest elements there is, with almost twice the density of lead, and over 6 times the density of rock. You put gold in lava, it’s going straight to the bottom.

  8. Nacata says:

    I laughed so much that i gave miself hiccups!

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