Videogames, programming, and videogames.
Right after I wrote the last Girls und Panzer post, my mother found a deal on Facebook marketplace. My spouse’s primary vehicle was in the shop with a so-far un-findable problem. It *drives* fine, but there is a concerning warning light about the automatic transmission fluid temperature coming on as soon as the car […]
Right after I wrote the last Girls und Panzer post, my mother found a deal on Facebook marketplace. My spouse’s primary vehicle was in the shop with a so-far un-findable problem. It *drives* fine, but there is a concerning warning light about the automatic transmission fluid temperature coming on as soon as the car is driven. And only if it’s driven, if you let it *sit* idling the error doesn’t come on, lending creedance to the idea that it may actually be a transmission oil temperature problem. But no one can actually *prove* that so far and the only solutions mechanics have been willing to pursue is “find someone who knows more than me” or “swap out expensive parts until the problem goes away.” Well, my mother saw a marketplace listing from a known family friend (I don’t know these people, but I know who they are. They are actually related through marriage.) These people were selling off an uncle’s possessions (basically an estate sale) who had recently been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. He was being moved into assisted-living at that very moment, was likely facing multiple surgeries, and they wanted to sell his excess “toys,” cars, and utility vehicles to raise immediate cash for the family. He didn’t need them, no one wanted them, etc. Plausible? Possibly. Here’s were it gets questionable. The list of things for sale were *mostly* of the description I mentioned…toys. There was a side-by-side, a couple of motorcycles, a jet ski, a couple of good lawnmowers and a small Kubota garden tractor. A pressure washer and a diesel generator, which I had questions about because the picture provided looked like…someone had taken a picture of the diesel generator when they decided to buy at Home Depot or Tractor Supply. But there was also a fridge, a stove, a PlayStation 5 and some games. Two older vans, but both kind-of rare camping models; a Vanagon and a Ram. Both in good shape. I mean, that’s a real interest; but not something you run across often. And then there were the “regular” cars. There were five that I remember; a couple of late model pickups, nothing special. An almost new Outback, and a late-model CR-V and RAV-4. All three of which they were advertising VERY cheap. My mother asked if any of those cars would make good substitutions for what was in the shop with an unknown problem, as the price was PHENOMENAL and she knew these people and trusted them. I told her the RAV-4 was not only the best deal, but overall the vehicle my spouse was most interested in. However, I also cautioned that the prices were literally “too-good-to-be-true” level, which scared me. But I don’t use Facebook; my mother does, and she knows these people. My mother assured me she had not only dealt with these people before and talked to them not that long ago, but they were, as I mentioned, connected to the family through my cousin’s spouse. (I should interject here there is also some background to “my mother buying a car for our use.” Odd thing to have happened before, true. My parents only a few years ago came into some money. Not enough to make them “rich” by any definition, but enough to help provide for their last few years on Earth, hopefully. Whether that’s true is another topic. One of the first things my mother did was offer to buy my family a good used vehicle as we only had one at the time. Not everyone was on-board with this action so I ended up trying to mediate. My only real criteria, as I couldn’t be with anyone during the shopping, was “a small sedan or SUV, Toyota or Honda is best but almost anything is fine…except a late-model automatic Nissan Altima, Sentry, Maxima, Rogue, or Murano because they have had an increased amount of transmission trouble compared to most other cars. So that’s a good rule-of-thumb.” My mother buys a 2017 Nissan Altima. It IMMEDIATELY starts having trouble, although to be fair, NOT WITH THE TRANSMISSION. Just…everything else. My mother ends up TRADING THIS CAR IN A MONTH LATER for a 2017 Mazda 6 at Carmax. She lost a lot of money on that deal. And we STILL don’t bring it up because even though she has signaled she understands she made a mistake, her BIGGEST takeaway is that she was “disrespected” when she was only trying to do us a favor. I don’t want to activate that situation as a trap card, so I’m trying to keep my distance.) So my mother contacts this person to ask about the Toyota RAV-4. They reiterate the price, tell my mother they can send a detailed listing of everything they are selling, and also mentioned they are out-of-state making arrangements and helping the family, and could my mother send a refundable down-payment. This is a RED FLAG, but sending refundable down-payments is also a real thing. The full listing is where I got a lot of the information above concerning what all they were selling, some of which I questioned. What bothered me the most is that the RAV-4 in the listing AND IN THE NEW PICTURES is clearly a different vehicle than the initial listing my mother responded to. I point all this out, and we also have a long discussion on rational reasons OTHER THAN “my uncle needs surgery” could exist for why they are selling the cars so cheap (the other items vary in how appropriate the pricing is, honestly). Like, maybe these are salvage repairs. The license plates for all the listed cars have not been “blacked” out, as is common; they have all been removed entirely. Once again, something I have seen happen but isn’t the most common way to do things. A side-quest occurs at this point. Because the RAV-4 listings conflict, my mother asks for pictures of the CR-V. Also my mother briefly considers replacing her own vehicle with the Subaru Outback. I talk her out of that one after she has already requested more information on the grounds that the Outback will not ride NEARLY as smoothly, nor is it as large on the inside, as her American-made crossover. While the CR-V looks fine, the seller says they will be back home (our home town) on Thursday (this is two weeks ago, now; not this past Thursday) and if my mother would wire half-down on every vehicle she wanted, they could just meet us at her uncle’s former house (in a larger nearby town) and hand the vehicles over. I should also mention that earlier that day my mother had already sent a $1000 down payment that the seller claimed never went through, so she cancelled and sent $1500 for the RAV-4. My mother is very upset at the new request, and I realize regardless of whether this is the person my mother thinks it is THIS IS A BAD SITUATION THAT WE SHOULD ABANDON IMMEDIATELY. I tell my mother this. She thinks on it overnight then wires the rest of the amount needed to pay for the RAV-4 in total the next morning. After all, *she knows these people*. After wiring the rest of the money, they tell her they will now be home late Sunday. (Again, not yesterday, last Sunday) My mother says this *will not* work for her (or us, actually) and they tell her they *may* be able to get home Friday night. There may have been some communication I’m not aware of the next few days, but I made my case to my mother and she ignored it, so I’m just keeping my opinions to myself. Anyway, the next I hear is my mother telling me (this is last weekend) that she has tried to message this person twice to arrange a meeting time and is not getting a response. I reiterate that this could actually *not be* the person my mother thinks; their account was hacked, and if it was them it’s still a scam. She ultimately decides to give them until 7:00 PM Sunday to respond. When they don’t, my mother tells them she wants her money wired back plus the amount of the fees she had to pay. She doesn’t receive a reply. The following Monday she files a report with the county Sheriff’s office. They tell her there’s probably nothing they can do (of course). I tell her to go to the bank, which she seems resistant to do, but does eventually report to them what happened. They start investigating the transaction. Later that day the “seller” deletes their account and all their history, at least from my mother’s perspective. My brother-in-law reports that not only can he still see this person’s account, they have once again listed the Toyota RAV-4 for sale. So they just blocked my mother. My brother-in-law inquires about the RAV-4 to the seller. They tell him he needs to wire a down payment; they are “out of town” and can meet with him the next weekend. My mother gets a call from the Sheriff’s office that the case has been sent to the FBI, because the Sheriff did actually do the work of calling the bank and learning the transaction was with a bank in Kansas, making it an interstate matter and out of their jurisdiction. Despite everything I have told my mother repeatedly about how law enforcement works in the United States, she is incredulous that the local “good guys” can’t just make someone give her the money. My brother-in-law, who knows everyone, actually CALLS THE PEOPLE THAT MY MOTHER SAYS SHE KNOWS AND HAS TALKED TO and learns their Facebook account was hacked six months ago and Facebook will do nothing to either recover the account or shut it down. My mother reports this to the Sheriff’s office, who tell her “hey, that’s great. Still nothing we can do.” My mother, once again, does not understand. I tell her possibly the bank can get her money back, but it won’t be fast regardless. The FBI will only investigate if the crime fits a particular headline they’re supposed to chase, or this hacker is actually part of a ring that has stolen hundreds of millions of dollars. Otherwise they do not care (especially at the moment). There are many things I could use to illustrate a teaching moment in this story (this is true, just in case you needed to hear those words.) But what stood out the most to me is that my mother, who is *reasonably* tech-savvy for her age, could not grasp the idea that the person she was talking to *was not the person they were pretending to be*, despite several tells that I tried to point out. Like when the seller, when asking for an increased payment to be wired, actually did the “I don’t know you and lots of people want this car” which prompted my mother to outline ONCE AGAIN the family connection that this person should have known. And until we got proof that the account had been hacked, she and my father were both of the opinion that the seller they thought they were dealing with must have actually had started doing drugs, and that explained why it was all weird and didn’t make sense. My mother even visited the Facebook accounts of the rest of the seller’s family and “found it suspicious” that no recent stories shared pictures from the stolen account or referenced them. It must be the drugs. My mother through the first of this past week was positive she was filing a report with the Sheriff’s office that would prompt them to visit the suspected family-connected person and make them give the money back. That someone would “pretend” to be a family member (sort of) and steal money is just inconceivable, to my mother. I’ve done some thinking on this and I believe the whole thought is: why would an evil person steal a Facebook account in a small, rural Texas community then fraudulently list a car (and other things) for sale on a Marketplace for that small, rural Texas community? That is something that DOESN’T HAPPEN HERE, it happens in big cities with name recognition, where all the evil people live. Both of my parents reject the idea that *that very thought* is exactly why stealing accounts in small, rural communities is profitable. The very belief that you *couldn’t* be scammed in Podunkville is why people are constantly scamming *in Podunkville*. You don’t hear about it because a) no one wants to admit it in a small place where everyone will hear about the incident, and b) people don’t want to acknowledge this happens, as it ruins the idea the locals want to believe in. The drug use views are related, but also touch on a lot of big issues in the United States. So that’s been my last two weeks. I doubt my mother will ever get her money back. It turns out that windfall they got a few years ago has also allowed them to absorb some expensive mistakes, two that I know of, both car-related, both over other peoples’ objections, and this one wasn’t even the worse one. On my part, while I haven’t used Facebook in a decade, I did have multiple accounts for a while. One for a YouTube channel, and a couple of personal accounts that, one I KNOW I deleted, and the other I THINK I deleted. And yet both of which I still get emails from Facebook to log into again. And I want to be clear, I did the whole “remove and delete” process, which ends with Facebook promising to delete the account permanently as long as you don’t log in over the next six months. I didn’t believe them and I still don’t. But it’s clear the legal system has no interest in actually regulating Facebook in any useful way. Much like the FBI, they’re good for headlines and money.
I used to like David Jaffe’s games. The Twisted Metal games were a mainstay with my friends when I was young and I really enjoyed the original God of War games. He made power fantasies to make angry punks like me feel strong and cool. Both of those franchises were quite good at doing that […]
I used to like David Jaffe’s games. The Twisted Metal games were a mainstay with my friends when I was young and I really enjoyed the original God of War games. He made power fantasies to make angry punks like me feel strong and cool. Both of those franchises were quite good at doing that job. Then after he made those games, what has he done? His last attempt at a game was Drawn to Death on the PS4. A game so bad that when Sony gave it away as part of the Playstation Plus program it was still impossible to find a lobby. I tried it. The game sucked. The style was awful, the controls sucked, and the weapons felt like Nerf toys. Now as you may be able to tell, I was VERY ready to go in on Jaffe. He’s said some incredibly stupid stuff in the past and I can’t say I like him much. But I have to say, the chuds online have taken a bad take from a guy who is related to a product they claim to like and have really run away with it. Jaffe’s assertion was that nobody wanted to play a God of War game where the protagonist isn’t a power fantasy icon. He said that Laufey looks too normal, implying that she’s ugly. He said that he doesn’t find Deborah Ann Woll unattractive, but finds the character model in the trailer was ugly. Feels like a bit of a stretch to me, but fine. And he also essentially said that Laufey isn’t a protagonist that people want to play as. This is the same stuff people were saying about playing as Atreus in Ragnarök, but with a grosser bend to it because he’s commenting on a woman’s likeness not being attractive. Now as far as the losers parroting Jaffe without understanding what he was saying: <img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-60323" src="https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/488276165_122290363202008906_2617293647239373618_n.jpg" alt="" width="354" height="442" srcset="https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/488276165_122290363202008906_2617293647239373618_n.jpg 1080w, https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/488276165_122290363202008906_2617293647239373618_n-240x300.jpg 240w, https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/488276165_122290363202008906_2617293647239373618_n-819x1024.jpg 819w, https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/488276165_122290363202008906_2617293647239373618_n-768x960.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 354px) 100vw, 354px" /> Sure, Jan. I’m convinced none of these guys have ever actually played video games past the ol’ standards of COD, Madden, and the current month’s trending battle royale. Maybe I’m doing the reverse equivalent of quizzing every girl wearing a Nevermind T-shirt about Nirvana trivia, but I don’t care. You need to have some perspective and a basis of knowledge if you want to raise your voice and claim to speak for anyone other than yourself. Female protagonists are as old as games having protagonists. And even if you exclude 2D games and games without much narrative support, you have Tomb Raider on the PS One and hundreds of games after that. Jaffe’s take is incredibly dumb and weird. I think it’s bizarre and gross, but forgivable for those that like him. The chud masses truly just took what they wanted to hear and echoed it to each other until it became loud enough for other people to hear. I’m fairly sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but I do want to at least throw in my two cents. In my eyes, Jaffe’s a prick and what he said was stupid and wrong, but he wasn’t trying to start a movement. He was just bitching about a trailer. In the end, the game will sell amazingly no matter what. Hopefully it’ll be great. Hopefully I’ll be justified in having some faith in the same company that took a bland, badass, angry man and turned him into a contemplative character with deep complexities. I don’t typically allow myself to get hyped about games before release, but I have a lot of love for the God of War series, so I’m fighting myself a little harder than I otherwise might. Now there is a large audience online that has legitimate concerns. The trailer shows a very different tone from what has been offered by the series so far. I hate quippy, lame dialogue as much as everyone else has grown to. I straight-up agree with that sentiment. And I think it’s also fair that lots of people don’t want to play as someone other than Kratos. I care more about the world of God of War at this point than just Kratos so it’s never bothered me. My article here is just a response to the extreme side of the backlash and how misguided it is. Specifically it’s a response to how Jaffe’s words were misconstrued. I really don’t like Jaffe but he has been made out to be someone he’s not. Freya is a badass. Angrboða is super cool. Laufey seems incredibly interesting. I want to see more and I am excited for the future where the noise dies down and we can focus on what matters again. Edit: A comment has made it clear that I failed to address legitimate concerns about the game’s shown content as opposed to the unfair and odd criticism. I’ve added a paragraph to rectify that issue.
This week I got bored, so instead of finishing my Terraria world that had only two bosses left, I started playing BALL x PIT. Because apparently half of the games I play are roguelikes, BALL x PIT is just Breakout, but a roguelike. I’m enjoying it so far. Some of the characters gimmicks seem like […]
This week I got bored, so instead of finishing my Terraria world that had only two bosses left, I started playing BALL x PIT. Because apparently half of the games I play are roguelikes, BALL x PIT is just Breakout, but a roguelike. I’m enjoying it so far. Some of the characters gimmicks seem like someone thought it sounded like fun, so they just threw it in there. You got some simple ones like, scattered aim, but shoots twice as fast, or balls always pierce until they hit a wall, and then some just silly ones like, battles become turn-based, or just strait up plays the game as a gimmick. I ‘ve still been busy, so my free time is limited, so that’s about all I played of interest. What’s everyone else doing this week?
A few weeks back I made an article complaining about badly implemented mini-games. That was spurred on by what was on offer in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. I have since finished the game, then finished getting the platinum trophy for the game, and I have some thoughts. I thoroughly recommend the game, but before I […]
A few weeks back I made an article complaining about badly implemented mini-games. That was spurred on by what was on offer in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. I have since finished the game, then finished getting the platinum trophy for the game, and I have some thoughts. I thoroughly recommend the game, but before I spend the next several paragraphs talking about how much I love it, I’d like to get the bad out of the way. I stand by my previously written opinion. The mini-games are unfair and frustrating due to sloppy controls and otherwise poor implementation, in my opinion. The mini-games are all side content or gateways to optional content so that doesn’t hurt the game too much. Though, I’d argue that it doesn’t matter if the content is primary or secondary to the story, it’s still a part of the game which means they should have done a better job with it. Some of them were a blast though. The parry “dance” segment was a highlight to me. It’s super frustrating at first but slowly became fun to me. Crushingly punishing but fair, which is what I like in a challenge. The overall difficulty curve, though, is all over the place. Some areas along the main path feel like a decent challenge and then you’ll hit a boss that feels nearly impossible in comparison. Then it falls back to feeling like cakewalk. The further the game goes on the worse the problem gets, however it was never more than peculiar to me. Not really a problem so to speak and more an annoyance that caused me a bit of confusion. Lastly, as far as my gripes go, the end game is opened up awkwardly. You get to the point where the game essentially says, now go ahead and explore until you feel like fighting the final boss. You reach this point anywhere from level 40 to level 60 depending on how much you wanted to grind and/or optimize. You then get thrust into encounters far, far harder than you’ve dealt with anywhere else. If you go through all the end game content you’ll end up at or near max level and have nothing to do but finish the game. When you go to the last area, you realize that you may have made a mistake. The final area is designed around you going straight to it after the world opens up. I had the game at the highest difficulty and still barely had to try at all to finish off the final fights and everything that led up to it. I get that narratively it makes some sense since you’re gearing up to fight the biggest baddest guy, but maybe some scaling could have been done depending on your average party level. Alright. The bitching and moaning is out of the way. The gameplay of COE33 is a turn-based system with parrying and dodging mechanics that give you more to do than mash the attack button until you can cast spells. There’s also a rhythm-based combo system for when you cast spells that, when executed properly, adds damage or enhanced effects. It kind of reminded me of The Legend of Dragoon. I love me a turn-based RPG but when I’m given a rewarding bit of extra damage it excites me. More importantly, there’s a dodge and parry system. I cannot stress this enough. It is the most rewarding experience in all video games that I’ve experienced in a long time. Not only do you negate damage with a proper parry string, you counter attack if you nail the timing on each segment of the enemies’ attacks. When you nail a long parry string and counter attack it feels INCREDIBLE. It feels doing a Daigo parry every time. The visuals are stunning. It’s fitting that the game’s name and many themes involve painting because every detail in the game feels like a moving painting. The enemies are all interesting designs. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous. I complained about a lack of minimap previously and while I would have appreciated the ability to navigate easier, it really did force me to appreciate the scenery more. I got frustrated but it’s fine. The beauty made up for it. My words would just continue to do a disservice to the true visual masterclass that the game puts on display, so I’ll leave it there. The music is breathtaking as well. Orchestral swells, beautiful choruses, and serene moments of quiet contemplation. Once again, I do not feel qualified enough to go more into detail so I will simply link the music and ask you to have a listen. The music fits the tone at all times and only serves to enhance your experience in a way that feels completely inseparable from the rest of the experience. And as far as story… You start the game in the city of Lumiere, a parallel of Paris. The Eiffel tower is in view, the air is buzzing with conversation and excited energy, and our protagonists leap around the environment that they clearly have called home their whole lives. There is this homey warm feeling that takes over while you briefly explore the city. The people of Lumiere are partying and celebrating a yearly event called the “Gommage.” Peeking over the horizon there is a massive deity-like woman called “the Paintress” sitting in front of a massive obelisk with a number written on it. At the beginning our story, the number starts at 34. After you’ve had time to explore the festival some, The Paintress erases the 34 and replaces it with a 33. Dozens of Lumiere’s residents dissolve into flowers and fade into nothingness. The world you are thrust into is one of loneliness, grief, and limited time. The party you were exploring was a living funeral. The Gommage isn’t just a festival to celebrate culture. It’s a sendoff for citizens who are old enough that they pass the threshold of that years’ number on the obelisk at the time of the Gommage. The bittersweet tone is set from there and is carried through to the end. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 is not a game about being a hero that conquers evil to come home to a roaring crowd. It’s about stemming the bleeding of a slow cataclysm. There is no winning, only forging ahead. I won’t go further into the story than that due to the potential spoiling of highly impactful scenes and moments. Play the game. I could and would write pages upon pages about the story but I don’t want to chance ruining a moment of the later story for anyone. And this article is a plea for you to play the game if you haven’t, not a comprehensive review. The game is a fast addition to my favorite games of all time and while it’s not perfect, it does a good imitation of it most of the time.
This week I’ve been to busy to do much except play Terraria. I’ve just beaten Golem, and I’m now being incisive if I should work on my base, or try to progress more. I’m writing this a bit late, and I’m sleep deprived, so I’m keeping this short. how’s everyone else this week?
Girls und Panzer: We’re having a match! Pt. 2
The “getting familiar with riding tanks” match feels like it’s sorting the world a bit, but a fair warning: just as a commenter mentioned in my first post on Girls und Panzer, a HUGE cast is introduced. And this series is only 12 Episodes. Despite the many shorts and bonus content OAV’s, and MANY films; […]
The “getting familiar with riding tanks” match feels like it’s sorting the world a bit, but a fair warning: just as a commenter mentioned in my first post on Girls und Panzer, a HUGE cast is introduced. And this series is only 12 Episodes. Despite the many shorts and bonus content OAV’s, and MANY films; we will never get good characterization or story arcs for everyone shown SO FAR, let alone the additional characters introduced. Is this a failing? I would say disappointing more than an actual failure. There are a few people who make important contributions without getting the story support they probably deserve, but for the most part characters are used appropriately, and don’t get unnecessary lore dumps which would be a different sort of problem. A secondary question probably deserves addressing, rather than spending too much time on the subject when a certain school is introduced: most of the world we live in, but especially the societies of the West and the Pacific Rim, still feel the looming presence of World War 2. On one hand, we are approaching one hundred years since the beginning of the war that bent the historical timeline significantly. On the other hand, certain practices in Germany especially during that period are currently fresh on everyone’s mind. Girls und Panzer is a Japanese production, so there is of course more representation of Japanese tanks and tactics (this will come up in the future, especially) than a western production would center. But also since this is a Japanese production, German World War 2 tanks, and you’ve probably noticed, some German regalia that some would find at least vaguely in poor taste; are featured. The actual name of the anime *is* Girls und Panzer…that’s not just the title I’m choosing to use. WWII German machinery is featured prominently in this series. Is it a problem? Thankfully, there isn’t any of the unfortunate The three things that tend to stand out to viewers as questionable are that one member of the Oarai Academy History Club (also called the “History Fans Club”), the four girls that ride the German StuG 3, adopts the nickname “Erwin” and seems to idolize German tank commander Erwin Rommel. Secondly, the hero tank of the protagonist team is the German Panzer 4, a second tank is the German StuG 3, and even the 38(t), while being designed by and for Czechoslovakians, was mostly produced and used by the German tank forces in World War II. The third point doesn’t really come up until later, but has been in small glimpses. So, just keep in mind there is a third possible problem. Now, there are two things I don’t want to do: say “just trust me, it’s not like that” or get bogged down in a huge explanation of why “choosing these particular tanks for their particular roles” is actually story-relevant. Could I do that? The second one, that is? Sure, probably; but IT’S NOT IMPORTANT. A YouTuber I follow did some analysis of the (our real world WWII) history behind Girls und Panzer. Some of the things he brought up, like alliances between countries at different points, CAN be relevant, but the characters usually call this out at the time. I really don’t think there are hidden allegories or commentary. This is a story about found family, lightly poking around family trauma, and friendship while high school girls shoot tanks at each other. It’s about FUN, and that’s what the next part of Episode 3: We’re having a match! is about. And this is important, which is why I kept it separate. As Team A is now complete with Mako agreeing to take Sensha-do, Saori announces their next move: They go to a department store to “make the tank more comfortable.” First up, cushions; because if you sit in a tank too long your butt starts to hurt. Miho seems utterly shocked by this, but concedes there’s not actually anything stopping you from putting cushions on the seats. She just never thought about it. Saori also proposes slippers so you don’t wear shoes inside (less common in the West, Japan broadly is very strict about “inside” and “outside” shoes and strongly emphasizes removing outside footwear just inside the entrance to a house, school, etc. and donning inside slippers). Yukari strongly opposes this idea (which makes sense; we’ve already seen people enter and exit the tanks during a match). So Saori suggests they should at least paint the tank a different color. This really sets Yukari off. Hana interjects that they could at least put in some air fresheners. Saori also wants a mirror and a phone charger. Miho looks on, still in shock. The next day, or at least the next scene, starts with a display of all Oarai’s tanks, repainted to one degree or another by their riders: The Volleyball Team’s Type 89 remains olive drab but is now covered in painted volleyballs, shouts, and slogans. Cheers, if you will. The StuG 3 is a garish combination of the four History Girls’ interests: German General Rommel, Julius Caesar, Sengoku era folk hero Sanada Yukimura, and Meiji restoration era woman Narasaki Ryo, best known for saving the life of her future husband Sakamoto by running half-naked through an inn to warn him of assassins. Most notably the low-profile StuG is ALSO decorated with four Sashimono; identification flags that represent each of the riders by their chosen insignia. These are…abnormally large. The First Years’ American M3 Lee is now a bright baby pink, and the Student Council’s Panzer 38(t) is an extremely-visible METALLIC GOLD. The Panzer 4 remains unmolested on the outside…but the interior is now full of plushies, tissues, snacks and cushions. And some curtains. And drinkholders. None of which, according to at least one former U.S. tanker, is necessarily odd (other than the curtains). Miho, STILL in shock, stares unbelieving at the newly-decorated team of tanks. As the other team members admire their work, Saori complains about not repainting the Panzer 4, and Yukari bemoans how the three most-outlandish paint jobs have ruined the tanks. And Miho finally reacts. She begins laughing. Have these whack-jobs finally broken her mind? No. It’s true she never considered that tanks could look like this. But this is FUN. Is it good? Is it the best thing for Tankery? We don’t really address those questions, and the answers are probably obvious. But this is what everyone *wanted to do*. This is what made Sensha-do fun for all the girls. THIS is Miho’s revelation: that Sensha-do can be fun. After a practice montage, during which we learn how to calculate target distance using spotting information and the gunner’s reticle (don’t worry, you don’t need to know this…but it’s neat) the Student Council informs the Sensha-do team they will have a practice match this coming Sunday against St. Gloriana College, a school with a strong team that has won the National Championship tournament before and frequently appears in the finals. This worries Yukari for the stated reason, and Miho for undisclosed reasons, but the biggest drama comes when Student Council PR director Momo (monocle girl) announces the teams will need to meet at the Sensha-do barracks at 6:00 AM Sunday. Despite protests, Mako is quite clear: 6 o’clock IS NOT HAPPENING. Promising to wake her up and even carry her to school is disbelieved: Can humans even be awake at 6 AM? To which Saori points out the teams are MEETING at 6 AM; Mako needs to wake up about 5. Which almost makes Mako faint on the spot. Clearly, there are things people just cannot do. Saori breaks out the big gun: if Mako doesn’t get her tardiness excused through Tankery, she might get held back a year…and have to call her friends “senpai,” a term of respect for those in a higher grade. (In the West we are fairly familiar with this concept these days but generally consider it a technicality or even just “cute,” but social boundaries in Japan are even today much more rigidly promoted and enforced. Having to refer to a former peer by a term of superior respect would be embarrassing.) But the final shot does it: “If you don’t graduate like you’re supposed to, your grandma is gonna be really mad.” THIS…causes Mako to give in, and agree to the 6 AM meet time. No, I haven’t skipped anything; this is the first time Mako’s grandmother has been mentioned. It will not be the last, and they do develop this story. The Student Council meets with all the tank team leaders: Miho, Takako of the History Club, who goes by “Caesar,” Noriko of the Volleyball Team, and Azusa from the First Years. Momo leads the meeting, and has clearly been the passion behind everything the Student Council has done…even if her emotions tend to overwhelm her judgement and abilities. There’s probably a reason beyond mere seniority that the Council’s team Commander is the President despite how laid back Anzu is. Momo briefly outlines a plan where Oarai will use a tank to bait St. Gloriana into an ambush, which will allow the weaker tanks of Oarai to pelt St. Gloriana’s team at a close range. Miho clearly tunes out early on, and Anzu notices. While the other tank Commanders are impressed with Momo’s plan, Miho, at Anzu’s prompting, explains that St. Gloriana will not only expect such a tactic, they will seek to encircle Oarai from the outset. St. Gloriana is known for calm, patient, defense and deep penetrating strikes. They are not going to waltz into a baited trap. Momo looses her cool at the criticism, as she is wont to do, but Anzu responds (possibly intended all along) that Miho would be a GREAT team captain. Then starts applauding the instant promotion. Which, I will point out, Momo DOES NOT protest. Anzu follows this up by promising a *great prize* if Miho brings home a victory: a three-day supply of dried (sweet) potato skins (I previously pointed out Anzu is constantly munching on these.) Everyone in the room is…underwhelmed. Noriko asks if there will be a punishment for losing, and Anzu replies “I’ll have you do the Ankou Dance at the next Cool Evening Festival.” Don’t worry, you’re not supposed to know what that is because it’s specific to the anime. Miho’s friends, however, DO know what it is: Yukari adds “a video of Miho doing that dance will definitely get uploaded to the internet”, and Hana notes that a person doing that dance in public will never live the experience down. Regardless, all three girls (Mako is asleep, presumably) promise to dance the dance with Miho if they loose, so she won’t be the only one to bear the shame. On the morning of the match, Saori is unable to get Mako out of bed. This, of course, is not a surprise. Mako is surrounded by alarm clocks, and only responds to Saori’s threats with “It’s a problem.” Finally, Miho arrives with the loudest noise they can muster: she and Hana drive up in the Panzer 4 and fire a blank from the main gun right outside Mako’s window. This finally rouses Mako slightly. (This also wakes up the entire neighborhood, actually) Driving through the “civilian” streets to meet up with the rest of the team, the Panzer 4 is recognized by people in the community. And several wish the reborn Oarai Tankery team luck in their match. The Oarai school ship (the Zuikaku, never mentioned in the series) docks at Oarai port, soon followed by the St. Gloriana school ship, the Ark Royal (also never mentioned. Also, if you HADN’T picked up by now there might be a theme going on, that would give it away. Sort of.) The Zuikaku is the one on the right. The “little” one. The episode winds up with match preparation and the starting command given. The next episode with be Episode 4: Captain does her best! In which we will talk about what these “schools” are and probably how the series gently but passionately uses stereotypes.
Everything is busy but it’s fine. The past few days have been a blur of Urgent Care and Emergency Room visits followed by crashes of exhaustion. Nothing was ever life threatening, but my wife was extremely uncomfortable. We wanted to make absolutely sure that it wasn’t a heart attack or anything potentially dangerous so we […]
Everything is busy but it’s fine. The past few days have been a blur of Urgent Care and Emergency Room visits followed by crashes of exhaustion. Nothing was ever life threatening, but my wife was extremely uncomfortable. We wanted to make absolutely sure that it wasn’t a heart attack or anything potentially dangerous so we went and everyone’s fine. However in all that excitement I just plainly forgot to plan anything for an article for today. Now I won’t lie and say I typically spend weeks researching the articles I write. I do my best to be as honest and entertaining as I can, but I am a procrastinator and I’m no genius. If anything my brain cells look like this trying to shape ideas that have long since dissolved: My brain is empty and devoid of wrinkles. So… In lieu of an article, I will leave you with a discussion prompt: What is your favorite game in a genre that you typically don’t care for? For instance, I don’t typically care for racing games but the game Split Second is a classic that never gets old for me. It has a lot in common with many Kart racers but feels more sleek and fast. Please forgive me for my lack of planning. Next week I’ll have a longer article summing up my thoughts on Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 since I just finished 100%ing it and have a lot of (mostly positive) things to say.
This week was just more Terraria. Due to the difficulty of the bosses in legendary mode, especially the three mechanical bosses being combined into Mechdusa, I’ve experimented with different ways to fight bosses. So far I’ve found some success with fighting bosses in a giant pool of lava with the lava shark mount. The main […]
This week was just more Terraria. Due to the difficulty of the bosses in legendary mode, especially the three mechanical bosses being combined into Mechdusa, I’ve experimented with different ways to fight bosses. So far I’ve found some success with fighting bosses in a giant pool of lava with the lava shark mount. The main two benefits of this method being decent mobility, and projectiles being greatly slowed. So far this strategy has worked for the Queen slime, and Mechdusa, but I don’t know if it’ll work that well for the other bosses. Especially since I have to keep making giant pools of lava, and it’s getting a bit tedious. What’s everyone else doing this week?
Girls und Panzer: We’re having a match! Pt. 1
Where were we? Everyone decides to attack the Panzer IV team, Saori and Hana panic until Miho calms them down, they start speeding away to avoid getting shot, Mako is napping on the ground directly in front of the speeding tank AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… Hana hits the brakes and as the tank slows Mako executes a perfect […]
Where were we? Everyone decides to attack the Panzer IV team, Saori and Hana panic until Miho calms them down, they start speeding away to avoid getting shot, Mako is napping on the ground directly in front of the speeding tank AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… Hana hits the brakes and as the tank slows Mako executes a perfect leap onto the front deck of the tank. Or, almost-perfect as she falls on her face immediately. Saori pops up out of the commander’s cupola and to no-one’s surprise, knows Mako. Miho recognizes Mako from their encounter that morning, and Saori immediately interjects “So *that’s* why you were late.” One of the other teams lands a shot near the tank so everyone climbs back in, now with Mako on board. Straight ahead is a wooden suspension bridge with metal plates laid out, apparently to facilitate tanks driving across it. Miho doesn’t trust it fully, so she runs ahead and guides the nervous Hana across. Unfortunately they don’t even make it halfway when Hana over-corrects and hits one of the metal wires binding the bridge, causing it to unravel and dangerously affect stability. AND just then the Stug III crests the hill behind them, firing a shell that hits the Panzer IV’s left fender solidly enough that it helps realign the tank on the bridge, but also catches Hana off guard and knocks her out. Miho jumps back in to help with Hana and the I-Go pulls up next to the Stug; the two begin advancing down the hill. Hana is still out cold so Miho prepares to drive, despite claiming to “not be very good at it.” I don’t remember this ever being tested, but like most of Miho’s claims about her own abilities, I suspect this is a product of the trauma from her upbringing; she’s probably more than adequate. Especially considering no one else here has ever driven a tank. But that’s not explored now, for sure, as the tank suddenly starts moving in reverse. Mako has seized the controls, having literally just learned how to drive the Panzer IV. As in, the actual operating instructions for the tank (these are real, by the way) are propped up in front of her. The hall monitor this morning mentioned Mako’s good grades, and Saori now references Mako’s position as “top-of-the-class.” Plausibility rating (again): Sure, why not? (again) Mako reverses and stops the tank. Notably, without orders (things are a bit hectic and uncontrolled at the moment) she puts the tank in gear and begins to move forward again seconds before the Stug III fires, keeping the Panzer from taking the hit. Hana is awakened by the near-miss. Miho verifies Hana is ok and tells her to rest in the Radio Operator’s seat (the front right of the tank.) Then you can literally see the mode change. Miho’s smile drops and her facial expression changes as she looks forward. She tells Yukari to rotate the turret and target the Stug III (sound reasoning, as the Stug is the most dangerous to the Panzer IV right then) Yukari nails a shot to the Stug’s front armor, a flat plate to the right of the gun. We are then introduced to the most important but open-ended mechanic of Sensha-do: disabling. Tankery in this familiar-yet-fictional Earth acknowledges physics, then politely asks physics to knock it off for a while. We have been told real ammo is used, and we SEE real shells embedded in steel armor in this battle. But it’s all done “safely,” so that’s “OK.” Which is hand-waving so hard you generate thrust if you’re trying to make sense of this. We have been told people hardly EVER get hurt, yet we’ve seen tanks bounce around, and MUCH WORSE will happen later in the series. Girls und Panzer does throw out at one point that the tanks of Sensha-do are covered in/built/lined with some kind of carbon-based material that absorbs much of the energy of the shots, wrecks, accidents, etc…but it’s also clear we as the viewer are meant to feel the actual drama of narrative-driven tank warfare. And the bottom line is, THAT’S THE POINT. This isn’t real. The girls of Team A aren’t riding a World War II Panzer IV ausf. D (version or series D, as in A, B, C, D, E, F; generally meaning the 4th iteration of the production vehicle). They are riding, not a replica either, but an idealization. It can replicate the roles and abilities to the extent it’s useful for Tankery. Certain things, like the radios, are all standardized. All the tanks use the same offensive and defensive components, just made to look and mostly work like their “real world” prototypes. Similarly, damage is derived from the narrative, but once again physics and reality aren’t ENTIRELY abandoned. The Stug III ausf. D (see previous note) had thick frontal armor. Where the armor is angled, like above and below the drive-line (same level as the tread wheels) and at the very top isn’t for aesthetics. Unlike naval warfare or long-range artillery, tanks are typically firing pretty flat shots, because they are usually fairly close together. Angling a plate of armor relative to the path of the shell fired means it has to penetrate more metal to continue on it’s path. The angle also increase the chance of deflection if the armor is strong enough vs. the power of the shot (which is a whole topic itself). In fact, a recognized weakness of early Panzers was the German use of right angles and box shapes. That plate to the right of the gun isn’t necessarily a weak spot in a definitive sense, but it’s weaker than many areas around it. Additionally, the right front of the gun area is where the loader pulled shells from. So if you do enough damage to that area you can cause that ammo to explode. As a final note, we haven’t been introduced to the idea that different “types” of ammo can be used to accomplish specific goals (I guess I just spoiled it) as well as the idea that different guns have different strengths. So the fact that the Panzer IV is currently equipped with the infantry support gun and not its later 75mm long gun has relevance to the technical arguments, but is essentially irrelevant in this battle where all the tanks are less than 100 meters from each other. So, if you receive a “hit” that is judged to be disabling to the tank, your team is ruled out. Like everything else in the tank battles, this works fine but is clearly powered by the story. The white flag can pop out of just about anywhere, and usually is “near” where the damage occurred. If a tank turns over, the flag will emerge from the side facing up. Also, it should be noted that “disabling” damage is similarly motivated by the needs of the story rather than strict guidelines. Now, to an extent, this can actually be explained simply. In this basic “learn to use your tank” match, “throwing a track” (the tank tracks on each side that the wheels drive on coming off or disconnecting) or the tank’s engine going out, both of which mean the tank can’t MOVE but the weapons probably still work, counts as “disabling.” In later matches we will see these things NOT count. But, as I was alluding to, that can be explained by the needs of the given match. Now, there’s going to be PLENTY of “questionable” actions later in the series; which is the major reason I’m pointing this all out NOW: even though this series is framed in “our world” it’s NOT REAL. I increasingly understand this show as a science fiction comedic melodrama. Girls und Panzer, in my opinion, used this format to more-successfully bridge the story to more demographics than similar properties. And once again, that’s not to take away from the amazing success of Strike Witches and Kantai Collection, both of which spawned successful copycats. Heck, I argue even now that Azur Lane is a better franchise than KanColle. Back to the show. Yes, Yukari successfully stopped the Stug III with the Panzer IV’s 75mm “short” infantry-support gun. ALL of Team A, other than Miho of course, has a religious experience thanks to that gun. The unflappable Mako is even taken aback. But Hana, more than anyone, is DEEPLY AFFECTED. Miho tells the group they’re taking out the Japanese Type 89 next, which rouses everyone. The Type 89 I-Go, manned by the Volleyball Team, fires and misses. Yukari lands a shell near front-and-center of the I-Go, which has slightly slanted armor but is also riveted plate (usually weaker than cast sections; but whether welded was superior depended on the method and the tank) AND I believe the I-Go has a hatch on the front, which is also often a weak point. On very early tanks, their main survivability relied on NOT GETTING HIT, at least not anywhere important. Team A has landed two very good shots on plausibly-vulnerable areas. Saori then spots the Student Council coming from the opposite direction in the Panzer 38(t). The First Years are hanging back in the M3 Lee. While Yukari rotates the Panzer IV’s turret, Student Council loader and gunner Momo (monacle girl) chortles maniacally, expecting a win. She misses. Firing at the same time, Yukari does NOT. Yukari’s target is not clear to me, but seems most likely to have been the coaxial machine gun placed next to the main 37 millimeter gun. SOMETHING is clearly shown shattered below that spot after the hit, smoke is pouring from that area, and inside Momo is shown sprawled on the floor. Along with the other two members of the Student Council she is dirty as if some kind of debris had entered the interior of the tank. Seeing Team A take out three tanks with three shots while sitting in the middle of a bridge, the First Years panic and try to turn the M3 Lee away from the scene. Tank Commander Azusa doesn’t take stock of her surroundings however, and the tank de-tracks as they try to rotate in soft dirt and vegetation. They keep revving hard and hoping it somehow comes unstuck anyway, which causes the engine to die. This triggers the tank to disable (in this match, remember; this is less of an issue in the future). Leaving Team A as the winners (although Mako points out the First Years took themselves out). Instructor Ami singles out Team A for praise and leaves instructions for practice for the next few days. Although we also see the Student Council talk about how forcing Miho into Tankery was clearly the right choice. Team A all take a hot bath in a huge, modern, and almost entirely deserted onsen. Saori says winning that match was more exciting than having a guy tell you he loves you for the first time, to which Hana politely asks if any man has actually done that. The answer is “yes, her father.” Saori then introduces the most important topic: clearly Miho should be the Tank Commander. All three team members (Mako is asleep) beg Miho to be in charge, and she finally accepts. The division of the other roles follows, with Saori moving to Radio Operator, Hana passionately asking to be the gunner, and Yukari nominating herself for loader. Mako awakens during this conversation, and I suspect knows what is about to happen. She rises to leave. Just as Miho should obviously be the Commander, Mako should be the Driver. She refuses as she heads for the door. Everyone compliments her driving and begs, but Mako turns them all down until Saori brings up the tardiness bonuses she would get from taking Tankery. Her late arrivals are getting so bad Mako could get held back a year. Mako returns to the group and accedes. Mako, of course, insists she just decided to pay Miho back for helping her out this morning. That is the first half of Episode 3: We’re having a match! I figured the second part of the episode wouldn’t have much to comment on, but I forgot there’s the scenes featuring the short-lived decoration and painting of the tanks, which deserves comment. And the introduction of the first “other” school probably would be a good time to address THAT issue.
Hey, folks. My weekend got offset by about 8 hours, and it has pushed my scheduling off by a workday. I will have Episode 3 of Girls und Panzer ready to go tomorrow. Thanks for the positive feedback, it’s been a lot of fun! Paige
Simpsons Catchup Binge: I Spoke Too Soon
My understanding of when Flandersization kicks into The Simpsons was faulty. I was led to believe that as early as Season 4, Ned Flanders had become a complete caricature of himself. In fairness, it’s not as though somebody directly told me this, but it was the information that I sort of gathered by discussion. I […]
My understanding of when Flandersization kicks into The Simpsons was faulty. I was led to believe that as early as Season 4, Ned Flanders had become a complete caricature of himself. In fairness, it’s not as though somebody directly told me this, but it was the information that I sort of gathered by discussion. I was wrong. It seems that the consensus is that the true distillation of the character didn’t happen until far later, and I can see that now for sure. To be honest, I got into the show long after the golden years were over, so I have always had a few ideas of what the characters were like and didn’t think there was any sort of great shift. I got into The Simpsons when it started getting syndicated on TBS back in the day. I never watched the show when the “good” seasons were coming out. The series is far from new to me, but I always had a mixed jumble of episodes from Seasons 2-10ish episodes randomly sprayed at me, as opposed to keeping up with new episodes week by week. When I DID tune in for new episodes it was around Season 16. All the tropes were established and I knew what to expect. So I understood that the show had lost its shine, but I never got to see the gradual fade from greatness that everyone else saw before me. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to do this series of write-ups and watch through to see where my mind has changed. One MASSIVE shift I’ve noticed is that I no longer hate Lisa. When I was younger I always saw her as the whining, obnoxious brat obsessed with having the moral high ground. She felt far more like an obnoxious small adult than an actual child. Having now seen the show from the beginning, I’m seeing how sweet and fun Lisa used to be. She was written as a precocious child instead of as the self-appointed moral center of the family. You see her love for her family. You see her playing and genuinely having fun with Bart instead of being his victim. I’m massively saddened by how awful her character gets treated by the writing later on, because I love her in the era I’m currently watching. The whole cast has started to settle into their grooves at this point and the writing has gotten markedly better than the first few seasons. I think that if I were to say where The Simpsons truly hits the point where it’s consistently great is Season 5. There’s good stuff prior but most of the time is spent giving a warm smile instead of an actual laugh while watching then. My favorite episode has always been Bart After Dark in Season 8 and that holds to be true so far, though Hurricane Neddy is an absolute banger. Seeing Ned finally get pushed too far felt a lot more real to me now, having had more experience trying to pretend everything is fine for the sake of everyone else. I feel like I now have a firmer understanding of what people are saying when they refer to the “golden years” of The Simpsons. At least the start of it. I’m now dubiously interested in where it starts to take the turn downhill. Most of what I’ve seen people say online is somewhere between Season 8 and Season 12. Currently I’m enjoying the series more than I ever have, so I doubt it’ll be as soon as the next few episodes, but I’m locked in now. I want to go into things with as open a mind as possible and leave my Simpsons-apologist self behind to truly assess where things in the series lie. And by the way, thanks for the honest and fair feedback on the last installment. I should have done a bit of research instead of just trusting what I thought was “common knowledge” when I based that idea on nothing with any solid basis.
Not a whole lot going on this week. I’ve (for some reason) decided to make a new Terraria world, in master mode, with the Zenith seed. It’s bad. Bombs can drop from pots and trees, traps are many times more common, and many other terrible features. One of the (very few) upsides is that most […]
Not a whole lot going on this week. I’ve (for some reason) decided to make a new Terraria world, in master mode, with the Zenith seed. It’s bad. Bombs can drop from pots and trees, traps are many times more common, and many other terrible features. One of the (very few) upsides is that most blocks take less hits to brake, so I guess that’s nice. I have no idea how many times I’ve died so far, but it’s at least in the triple digits. How’s everyone else doing?
As promised! Episode 2 of Girls und Panzer: Tanks, we ride them! We learn almost everything we “need” to know about Sensha-do, or Tankery; in this episode. “How does this thing even work, anyway?” is kept appropriately vague, because there are certain story beats that require more suspension of disbelief than others. But ultimately, how […]
As promised! Episode 2 of Girls und Panzer: Tanks, we ride them! We learn almost everything we “need” to know about Sensha-do, or Tankery; in this episode. “How does this thing even work, anyway?” is kept appropriately vague, because there are certain story beats that require more suspension of disbelief than others. But ultimately, how precisely the tank-shaped hole that contains this show is dug isn’t really the point. Our guiding principle is friendship, and “finding your own Tankery;” a concept that will be brought up a couple of times. But while Tankery in the world of Girls und Panzer may be more gimmick than mechanic, the tanks themselves flip that situation. Mostly outside of battle. This episode ends in a cliffhanger that marks the transition of the series from something like the “slice-of-life” style we’ve seen so far, to; early in the third episode, something closer to a sports anime. Following the first-time viewing of the full opening song, which I will skip because its primary point is to show most of the characters who appear throughout the series, we pick up right where we left off in Episode 1: all the Sensha-do members being disappointed by the Panzer IV (4) and its condition. But more importantly, someone brings up that obviously the school needs more than one tank, right? Sensha-do is a team sport. The propaganda film showed some kind of simulated battle between teams of tanks. The student council informs the students that even though Tankery was discontinued at Oarai many years ago, the school’s former tanks *should* still be around. As in, on the ship. Somewhere. Anywhere. But there are no records, apparently. Soooo…everybody just go look for tanks. Plausibility ranking: Sure, why not? Saori complains this wasn’t what she pictured when she signed up for Tankery. The propaganda film explicitly stated this would make her popular with men and she doesn’t see that happening AT ALL. Anzu (the student council president) tells Saori their Tankery instructor will be arriving in a couple of days, a really cool person, and Anzu can introduce Saori. This gets Saori motivated, at least until her first idea…searching the school parking lot…doesn’t pan out. Hana points out that tanks being in the parking lot isn’t very likely. Probably because she’s too polite to say plainly “if there were tanks in the parking lot, we wouldn’t be looking for them, would we?” A fourth girl is shown watching our protagonists from behind a tree. While fascinated with the entire group she seems to fixate on Miho. Saori suggests searching the forest on the other end of the parking lot as trees are a good place to hide something. The fourth girl starts to follow along, only to dart back to her tree when she sees Miho is watching her. The suspense doesn’t last as Miho works up the courage to…invite the fourth girl to come along. Thus we are introduced to the fourth protagonist, Yukari Akiyama. Yukari is an absolute tank enthusiast and amateur “expert.” That’s no joke, either. While her obsession is mostly played for laughs, she is able to parlay her knowledge of tanks, the sport of Sensha-do, and the other schools that are eventually introduced into a vital scouting role. In fact the Yukari character even hosted several animation “shorts” about tanks and their operation separate from the series and films. Something interesting happens when our prior protagonists introduce themselves. As we could surmise, Yukari knows who Miho is and addresses her as Nishizumi-dono. This is a medieval form of address not seen in modern Japanese, although the written form is still used in some situations. -dono connotes respect without conveying a legally-significant difference in class. -sama, for example, would be used to address royalty, or to reference a deity. -sensei, of course, acknowledges a person as a recognized master or leader. -dono is less significant than -sama and comes closest to conveying “lord” or “lady” without conveying royal status. How this might relate to the changes over the centuries in Japanese inheritance status is a separate discussion, but a spoken “-dono” mostly communicates archaic use. This, as we will see throughout the series, is in-line with Yukari’s personality. Hana soon smells flowers in the distance. And…iron. And oil. In that direction. Hana briefly described in the first episode that her family was deeply-involved in flower arranging, and Saori suggests that history has provided Hana with a sensitive nose. “Maybe,” responds Hana.”…or maybe it’s just me.” Which I think is a very understated contribution to one of this series’ major messages: people can be unique and special and interesting APART from “what they do.” It’s fundamental to the “find your own Tankery” message. Your individuality is much more important than the roles family and society try to push into you. Hana leads the group to a CKD LT vz. 38, a Czechoslovakian tank. This is just about universally known as the Panzer 38(t), since Germany incorporated the tank into their own resources in 1939 and even continued production, considering the 38(t) superior in many ways to the Panzer I’s and II’s (1’s and 2’s) that formed the bulk of their tank forces in the first few years of what would become WWII. In quick succession we see the remaining four members of the former Volleyball Club (constantly wearing their Volleyball outfits) find a Japanese Type 89 I-go (ee-go), also commonly called a Chi-Ro (chee-ro I think, but it could be kee-ro. I favor ‘chee-ro’ because the symbols used mean “first” and “number.” i.e. “Number One.” So either ee or chee would be acceptable for “ichi”, which I’m sure you learned as Japanese for “number 1”). Then the History Club spots a Stug III (3) at the bottom of a pond. The Stug III is also called a Panzer III Assault, and I’m not going to tell you what Stug is short for, because it’s unimportant. What *is* important to know is what a Stug is: Most people consider the “big gun in a turret” a primary feature of tanks. You will STILL run into people who insist that a vehicle that is a tank in every other way except the gun not being in a turret is NOT a tank. In that regard, a Stug is not a tank. A Stug III is a Panzer III that has a large, fixed gun on top rather than a gun in a turret (in this case, a 75 millimeter anti-tank gun). This arrangement typically allows you to use a bigger gun than the vehicle would normally be able to accommodate (the Panzer III was initially built with a 37 millimeter, later a 50 millimeter, and ultimately a short, close-infantry-support 75 millimeter designed for HE shells). The Stug III’s 75 millimeter assault gun was originally intended as a mobile artillery piece. Only later was the Stug III implemented as a tank destroyer, which is what most people associate this tank with. Finally the six first-years find an American M3 Lee medium tank in a metal barn. I love this vehicle, but I concede the Lee was a rushed stop-gap that exceeded at very little. It turns out to be an appropriate vehicle for the timid first-year students. The Vehicle or Automobile Club, the terms seem to be used interchangeably, does one of many feats of magic and transports all the tanks back to the Sensha-do Club-grounds. Anzu suggests each team ride the tank they found, volunteering the three members of the Student Council for the Panzer 38(t) and assigning Miho and her now-three friends to take the Panzer IV. This conveniently puts the three-person crew in the only tank that, at least in its original incarnation, was designed for a three-person crew. The Panzer IV is short by one, the Type 89 and the Stug III are both fully crewed at four, and the Lee is *technically* under-manned by one with only six first-years. The hand-wavey part is that the British implementation of the Lee, the Grant, combined the Commander role and the Radio Operator role into one person by modifying the turret. Secondarily, radio communications were neither universal nor consistent among these tanks…but it’s required for Sensha-do. So these tanks do not have period-correct radio sets, nor are they used in a period-correct manner. So, you can throw all sorts of hands up to render this point moot. This seems less-relevant for the Panzer IV, but considering there is at least one character we’ve been shown repeatedly who *is not present* yet, maybe this will be resolved via plot point. The team members all wash and clean their tanks (re-assembling the Panzer IV apparently took place sometime during this period, too) after which Anzu dismisses the club saying “the vehicle club will take care of the rest of the maintenance tonight.” Even considering these vehicles aren’t literally World War II tanks but semi-fictional vehicles meant to look and act like the WWII tanks they’re based on, “the vehicle club will take care of the rest of the maintenance” is doing A LOT OF LIFTING. But, as I’ve mentioned repeatedly, this isn’t really important. It’s FUNNY to think about, but it’s not important. Interesting to see is the interplay between our newest protagonist, Yukari, and Saori. We get to see several examples of Yukari “geeking-out” over tanks, which Saori finds extremely weird and off-putting. However, when Saori gushes about meeting the cute tank instructor soon Yukari recoils similarly. The four eat dinner together in Miho’s apartment, where once again Saori boggles when Yukari pulls out a full set of camping utensils to cook rice. Saori ends up taking charge of the cooking, remarking that “everyone is unexpectedly useless.” This is, of course, after removing her contact lenses and donning a pair of thick, red half-frame glasses. She explains that knowing how to cook meat and potatoes is necessary for attracting a man, which Yukari questions as nothing more than an urban legend. Speaking of missing characters, the next morning Miho sees something strange: a short, dark-haired girl in an Oarai High School uniform staggering all over the sidewalk. This turns out to be Mako, another second-year student I mentioned in the first episode. Mako doesn’t do mornings, or waking up. It’s never really established what time she prefers to rise, but we do get to see her operating at 120% in the middle of the night in some later media. But getting up to go to school is effectively beyond her limits. Miho helps Mako to the school gate, where the head of the “Public Morals Committee,” acting as a type of Hall Monitor, scolds Mako for being late to school 245 straight days. If you remember, one of the benefits one gets for taking Sensha-do at Oarai is “get out of jail free” cards for tardiness. This clearly appealed to Mako, but exertion before the afternoon is simply too great a task. Miho is instructed to leave Mako behind next time. In Tankery Class the entire group is eagerly awaiting the arrival of the new instructor. The instructor makes quite an entrance being dropped from a Kawasaki C-2 transport in a Japanese Type 10 Main Battle Tank (destroying the headmaster’s Ferrari F-40-looking car in the process.) Captain Chouno Ami is the Special Instructor of the Tankery Training Unit, whatever that is. And in keeping with everything we know about Tankery as a sport, presents as female; even wearing a uniform based on the (current in our world) Japanese Self Defense Forces female uniform. Saori is crestfallen, but, as Hana points out, Captain Ami does indeed look very cool. Captain Ami, like Yukari, knows exactly who Miho is, who the members of Miho’s family are, and their importance to Tankery. Her attention to Miho lets the entire team know that Miho is, actually, a bit of a celebrity. Earlier a newscast had shown an interview with Miho’s sister, Maho, that Miho reacted very negatively to. Especially when her sister said “never run away.” Hana and Saori understand enough to know Miho really doesn’t want her past or family brought up, but the cat’s out of the bag now. Ami, knowing most of the students have NO EXPERIENCE operating tanks, decides the first thing they should all do is a practice battle. She hands each team a map of the area (in the woods, not the city thank goodness. That comes later) with marks for each of the five teams to indicate where they should start from. She tells each team to figure out how to start and drive their tanks to the designated area, at which point their goal, when the battle starts, will be “last tank standing.” This is accomplished with some humor over the next few minutes. In the protagonist Panzer IV, Miho vehemently turns down the commander role, leaving the assertive Saori in charge. Hana drives and Yukari fires the main gun, leaving Miho to fill the role of loader. Saori, as the commander, tells Hana to drive toward the Student Council’s 38(t), as she wishes to attack the President for misleading her about the Tankery instructor. It’s at that point they discover the other four tanks have ALL decided to attack the Panzer IV as the perceived biggest threat to each of them individually. Saori and Hana panic over getting the tank moving and out of the way, until Miho instructs the two on communication and calms the situation down. Only to look outside and realize the tank is about to run over Mako, who is napping by a rock in front of them. That’s the end of Episode 2, but the beginning of the “scrimmage” illustrates something important. Sure, Miho has experience. She did organized Sensha-do last year in school, even if that ended in some kind of tragedy. And being from a prominent Tankery family, who knows what experience with tanks she had before that, even. But it is clear in these early few moments that even if she doesn’t particularly want to be here, she’s a natural leader. She cares about her new friends, and not just in the “commiserate with them” way. She is able to stay calm and think, and even plan. She obviously doesn’t *want* to be responsible for the resources around her, yet she knows how to use them anyway. We see Miho studying the map Captain Ami gave them, a concerned look on her face. This could be in reference to any number of things at that point, but I wonder sometimes if she’s looking at an unsolved jigsaw puzzle, knowing she has all the right pieces, but they’re in the wrong order. Her family taught her one way to solve the puzzle, every time. Miho is trying to figure out a new way. Next up is Episode 3: We’re having a match!
With Mother’s Day around the corner I find it an appropriate time to consider an archetype that is often missing or ignored in video games… mothers. I sat with a couple friends and tried to think about the most interesting mother characters in video games and it was weirdly hard to come up with many. […]
With Mother’s Day around the corner I find it an appropriate time to consider an archetype that is often missing or ignored in video games… mothers. I sat with a couple friends and tried to think about the most interesting mother characters in video games and it was weirdly hard to come up with many. Story spoilers for: God of War (2018), Resident Evil 7 and 8, The Binding of Isaac, and Undertale. Freya of the new God of War era is amazing. She’s written to be badass, smart, and layered with complexity. Her relationship with Baldur is complicated and strained. What she did to give Baldur his immortality made a permanent rift in their relationship but you can feel the strained love in every interaction they have. It feels like in an alternate timeline she could have worked things out if she just found the right angle to approach things and got Baldur to see the loving motivation behind her choice. It’s tragic. Then later she embraces her power and does what she can to help Kratos and protect everyone else she can along the way. She embraces her strength and channels her anguish and her love into a driving force. In Resident Evil 8 there are 3 mothers of note. Mia, Lady Dimitrescu, and Mother Miranda. Mia is relatively unimportant except that her identity is used by Mother Miranda. Miranda uses her powers and general manipulation to get Rose into her hands. Her whole motivation through the game is the desire to bring her daughter back, consequences be damned. She proves to be a force of nature, tearing down everything and everyone around her for the chance to get her baby back. It’s bittersweet and manages to humanize a truly monstrous character. The other mom in RE8, Lady Dimitrescu, has motivations that are a bit less altruistic. Lady D just wants to maintain her life under Miranda. She runs the castle and keeps the peasantry in check. She has 3 adopted “vampire” daughters that she seems to care a great deal about, but the love she has for them isn’t quite as palpable. When she wails in pain that her daughters are gone it comes off more like an anger that assets of her had been taken away. Also Lady D is notoriously incredibly hot. I think Lady D made a lot of “big lady” fetishists out there discover something within them. “Mom” in The Binding of Isaac is one of the primary antagonists of the game. The lore of the game is deeper than you might expect, but to briefly summarize Mom, she’s a Christian fundamentalist who is abusive to her son, Isaac, in a few awful ways. The game revolves around the imagination of the traumatized mind of Isaac trying to cope with Mom’s abuse. There’s way more to it and if you have any interest in lore breakdown style content, it’s worth looking up. There’s not a ton there, but what is there is great. She’s scary, she’s tragic, and she’s a tough enemy to deal with at times. The last mother I want to feature is Goat Mom from Undertale aka Toriel. Toriel is among the first characters you meet in Undertale and she immediately exudes love and protection. Even though you, yourself, aren’t her child she immediately jumps to take care of you. She won’t even allow you to continue on to the rest of the game unless you kill her or go limp long enough to make her lose interest. Goat Mom is who I think of when I think of your typical mom in video games. There’s just a warmth to her that I don’t see anywhere else very often in games. There’s plenty more moms out there in games but these were the ones that resonated with me most. For instance Bayonetta is a cool as hell mom but I haven’t played those games. So feel free to add your own in the comments. And enjoy Mother’s Day with your family or just enjoy the day of peace if it’s not a holiday you celebrate. Praise be to Mommy D.
This week I played a few different games. I finished my skyblock Terraria world. After it got into hardmode most of the difficulty of it being a skyblock disappears, you can get wings, and you’ll probably already have a few mob farms set up so it’s just kill a boss, farm some loot, kill a […]
This week I played a few different games. I finished my skyblock Terraria world. After it got into hardmode most of the difficulty of it being a skyblock disappears, you can get wings, and you’ll probably already have a few mob farms set up so it’s just kill a boss, farm some loot, kill a boss, farm some loot. I also bought a small game called Scritchy Scratchy. It’s a short idle game about scratching scratch cards, it was $7 and I got a few hours of fun out of it. I also learned that Rimworld has a multiplayer mod that just works with minimal hassle. I don’t know how well it works on the newest version, but it’s not given any trouble in version 1.5 so far. Anyway, How’s everyone else doing?
Girls und Panzer: Isn’t This Series Fifteen Years Old?
Girls und Panzer the anime debuted in 2012. It was created or conceived sometime in 2011 as a TV series, with ideas likely originating a few years earlier. Takaaki Suzuki, who is variously listed as an assistant-producer, advisor, or consultant; had previously acted as a military history advisor for Strike Witches and Upotte! before 2010. […]
Girls und Panzer the anime debuted in 2012. It was created or conceived sometime in 2011 as a TV series, with ideas likely originating a few years earlier. Takaaki Suzuki, who is variously listed as an assistant-producer, advisor, or consultant; had previously acted as a military history advisor for Strike Witches and Upotte! before 2010. Strike Witches and Upotte! featured high school girls (Japanese) as the personifications of World War II aircraft and guns, just as the slightly-later Kantai Collection starred high school girls (Japanese) as the personifications of WWII warships. All of these series achieved success; wide and outrageous success in every case except Upotte! But Girls und Panzer did it differently, and is the only property still working with the original plot and characters. All of the media properties I have named were the products of several trends intersecting. Alternate history that deviated from or built on World War II was the origin of many anime in the first two decades of the twenty-first century. The slice-of-life anime trend factors mainly because the cast more often than not was taken from a class of high school girls. The main characteristic of this type of anime does not feature, however. That is, slice-of-life centers on the daily encounters and challenges of “normal” life, or secondarily blows them up to absurd levels for comedic effect. The school club anime surged around the same time. This type of anime most frequently depicted unusual or rare activities at its peak, but was also used to frame several other genres from spicy, to horror, to sports. In fact the sports anime provides a lot of structure for Girls und Panzer, although as several reviewers have noted the series plays very loosely with the sports anime tropes in order to center other elements. Finally it has to be included that Girls und Panzer is solidly “moe,” a creation style that does not really have a direct analogue in the English language. “Moe” is typically described as “cuteness” and adopted a visual design of more exaggerated proportions, thicker lines, soft focus and pastel colors; but more broadly it describes the entire creation of the environment of the story. The cuteness of the characters and their world is emphasized. I suspect this actually enhanced these alt-history style properties, as the contradiction between cuteness and reality, even when soft-played; creates an interesting dynamic. Girls und Panzer has been on my mind lately because I noticed a lot of people getting interested in the series (on YouTube). At least two different former U.S. tankers have watched the series in the past year and reacted positively. The fifth release in the six episode Das Finale movie series comes out later this year. One of the U.S. tankers even brought up a reference I had never heard of, a very minor bit in one episode. Just a few seconds. And it looks like you would never know about it unless you were familiar with U.S. tankery schools. Neat! Revisiting all the productions like this illustrated why Girls und Panzer has had significant staying power in the anime market. This series did things differently, and established a world where improbability was acceptable even while the narrative was ostensibly framed by the “real.” Unlike the other series mentioned, the characters of Girls und Panzer are all…normal. They’re just average Japanese high school girls. Historical references are indeed piled like spaghetti throughout each episode, but the characters view the history the same way the viewer would. Although, it’s important to note, as the name of the series implies, through a pretty narrow tank-centric view. For that matter, we should probably discuss the concept: Girls und Panzer. Or, in English, Girls And Tanks. Panzer being an abbreviation of “panzerkampfwagen.” “Kampfwagen” means “fighting vehicle;” “panzer” means “armored,” therefore “panzerkampfwagen” means “armoredfightingvehicle” in German. “Panzer” for short. Or…tanks. The concept then goes into something like alternate history, but we need to be clear this is a thoroughly fictionalized setting with the appearance and basis of a “future Earth” or “future Japan.” That second part is more important than I think most viewers realize, as we will cover in the future. In an unspecified future time period, (Japanese) (girls) high schools are partially, mostly, or entirely located on oceangoing ships designed like huge aircraft carriers. And by huge, I mean even the smallest “school ship” is to a modern aircraft carrier what a modern aircraft carrier is to a canoe. And the smallest school ship is 1/6th the size of the largest. They actually, briefly, give a reason for the school ships existing; which is about as important as explaining why the aliens are green in any given SciFi. At least at first glance. The setting of the school ships is used narratively to compare the schools a couple of times, but more importantly it creates distance from reality. The ships are so absurd and unjustified from our point of view it helps create a world sufficiently distant from ours. That the characters live on these ships is effectively ignored throughout the rest of the series, with scattered reminders of this fact, such as seeing the ships docking to enable the use of the land. Our viewpoint character and ongoing primary protagonist is Miho Nishizumi, who has transferred to Oarai High School for her second year (of three; this is Japan) of High School. These early depictions show her to be jumpy, deferential, and likely suffering from some kind of severe home life. When she is awakened by an alarm clock Miho leaps up, makes her bed precisely, and is about to start changing clothes when she remembers she is not at home anymore. This realization cheers her a great deal. She is approached by two classmates at lunchtime, and seems both dismayed that she has been noticed, but also surprised that the girls want to have lunch with her. Miho knows both the names and birthdays of the two girls. This has been used in other slice-of-life and school club anime series to depict oddness or desperation. These factors have not been introduced, and we learn later in the anime Miho just has a natural affinity for detail. In fact, she has memorized the names and birthdays of everyone in the class, just so she knows. She explains this behavior as “so she can make friends easier,” but not only have we seen that Miho seems more comfortable not being noticed, later we see most likely this is just what she would have done anyway. But on that note, there’s also something to be said about Miho’s reaction when the two classmates, Saori and Hana, express their desire to be friends with Miho (through the Japanese-significant use of first names). She is overjoyed, and the viewer may remember the highly-regimented routine she initially associated with “home.” So there is something to her explanation. At lunch the reason for Miho’s transfer to Oarai is brought up and Hana gets uncomfortably close to the story behind this move just by guessing, although of course we don’t know that yet. After lunch the three discuss personal attributes. Saori is concerned about how many guys approach her (Hana points out, and Miho perceives, Saori is a very open, likable, approachable person and people are, in fact, just saying “hi” to her.) Miho gushes about how happy she was that Saori and Hana approached her to become friends, and wishes she could be as friendly as Saori. She praises Hana’s calm, mature demeanor and contrasts how reliable she seems with how people told Miho she couldn’t be relied on at her previous school. Miho gushes so much she embarrasses both Saori and Hana. Miho puts herself down so much in the first few minutes of the show you start expecting this may be significant. The plot starts then, as the three members of Oarai’s student council enter the main characters’ classroom specifically to talk to Miho. This, of course, makes her incredibly nervous. On her first day of class at Oarai she is singled out by important people (student councils in anime are ridiculously overpowered) which we’ve already seen she seems to want to avoid. The council President, Anzu (might as well get to know everyone) tells Miho directly to sign up for “Sensha-do,” (that’s DOE, not DOO) “the way of the tank;” translated fairly appropriately as “Tankery.” Miho panics, protesting that her choice of Oarai as a high school was *specifically because the school didn’t have a Sensha-do team*. Literally the ONE THING she does not want to do is Tankery. Except Oarai is starting up their Sensha-do program again, and the council has specifically scouted Miho, and ONLY Miho, for the team. So. We know whatever happened to Miho in the past, it had to do with Sensha-do. Miho protests for the third time that a student can choose whatever club they want and the President just kind of, moves on; telling her “thanks” and leaving. The empty stare on Miho’s face after the encounter tells you everything you need to know. This is PTSD. Our girl is confronting some nightmares. Her catatonic state lasts into the next class when she is directed to the school nurse. Saori and Hana beg out of class to go find out what’s wrong. In the nurse’s office we learn two things: Sensha-do, or Tankery, is a “women’s sport” with a long history, and Miho comes from a family that has been part of that history for a long time. I will point out again that this places the timeline of any future “Earth” as, I would say; at least hundreds of years in the future, but again that’s not the point. The setting is to disconnect us from reality, not map out in what world this anime could be possible. I think one could argue this is soft science fiction, at least for the setting. Miho is at Oarai because despite her family’s history, her own experience with Tankery has been negative. Thus why she wished to leave that world and avoid it. Just then the Student Council orders all students to the gymnasium, which apparently includes everyone “sick” as the three main characters go as well. It turns out this is an introduction to all the clubs, or electives…technically. Mostly it’s a propaganda event to get students to sign up for Sensha-do. The presentation is 99% a Sensha-do propaganda movie, with a final shot of the possible electives, listed as TANKERY…and then all the others. Further, the Student Council will reward anyone who takes Sensha-do with one hundred meal tickets to the cafeteria (free food), 200 tardiness excuse cards, and triple course credit for all other classes. (I have no idea what school situation would allow triple-credit without completely wrecking the system, but we learn later this is fine within the context presented…at that point.) Miho ducks her head and sighs when the movie starts; she has clearly seen this before and wants no truck with it. It is interesting to note, and important later, she does react with disbelief to the film’s line “Tankery will make you a better mother.” Just file that away. All of the main characters, including those we haven’t met yet, are shown during this presentation. Several of the first year students and Mako, a girl who will become important soon, react to the sound of a tank’s main gun firing. The students we soon see as various tank crews are picked out in succession. Saori has a particularly-strong response to hearing that “men from all over will like you.” It is clear at the end of the video both Saori and Hana are impressed by the presentation, and the previously-noted Mako desires the freebies and triple-credit. Again, something that is built on later. Gosh, there’s a lot of stuff in this first episode that is actually the introduction of a plot-point. Saori and Hana both decide to do Tankery and Miho has a rough and presumably sleepless night. Finally we see our first flashback. (OK, here I have to note that the episode actually started with a flash-forward to Episode 2. This was presumably to get viewers interested in the more action-y parts coming up, rather than this “boring” bit that establishes the story. The flash-forward also, not coincidentally, ends on a potentially-tragic cliffhanger, so the studio was REALLY hedging here.) Miho’s flashback is brief and dark, showing a tank falling into water, the view from the water seeing tanks on a ridge above, and someone swimming submerged, as if they’re trying to reach the surface. Miho hugs her bear (the bear is its own story that does have significance, but less than I originally thought) and sobs. The next day she apologetically, and I mean REALLY APOLOGETICALLY, shows Saori and Hana her elective form with “Incense” selected instead of Tankery, and explains that the entire reason she came to Oarai was to get away from Sensha-do. She REALLY does not want to get involved in that sport again. Much to Miho’s surprise Saori and Hana immediately mark out Tankery on their own elective forms and instead select Insense; apologizing to Miho for making her worry. This, of course, makes the Student Council flip their lid. They call Miho to their office, where she is chastised and ultimately threatened with expulsion. (“Expulsion” is one translation choice, depending on the script and the source you also see this rendered as “you can’t come back to Oarai next year”, which is…funny…once you get to a later plot point.) Hana and Saori start arguing with the Student Council on behalf of Miho, who stands head bowed and holding hands with the other two. We hear her inner monologue as she acknowledges her fear of returning to Sensha-do, and the warm feeling of two friends who WANT to do Tankery but are currently arguing with the most powerful people around on her behalf. Taking courage from the thought that she will be doing Tankery with friends (possibly for the first time, based on her behavior) she declares that she will do Sensha-do for Oarai. She explains this to Saori and Hana later while eating ice cream (sweet potato, of course. Oarai, Japan is actually associate with growing and drying sweet potatoes both as a product itself and as a flavoring. Anzu, the Student Council President is almost-constantly seen eating dried sweet potatoes.) Once again, Miho gushes out her emotions about having friends stand up for her for the first time ever, and how her mom and sister treat Tankery as something her family just DOES…but of course THEY have talent… And the dreaded “…” strike, as the thought is left unfinished. The final scene depicts the start of Tankery class, featuring the various groups pointed out in the propaganda scene; especially one in particular by herself that was completely enamored with the movie. She stands off behind our three protagonists, but is conceptually included in that group. The student council opens the tank barn that contains the school’s ONLY CURRENT TANK: a discombobulated Panzer IV (panzerkampfwagen 4, panzer model 4). The audience, of course; won’t know what it is until the next episode, unless you’re a tank spotter. I maintain the “who’s that Pokemon?” segment of the Pokemon series was one of its most influential features, and that concept persists in Girls und Panzer. Tanks are frequently shown before they’re named, and often by only small details or shape. The eighteen students who signed up are disappointed in the tank, but Miho; the only experienced person (so far) proclaims the Panzer IV is solid. There’s even a brief little “communing with the machine spirit moment” for the Warhammer 40K fans. I mean, if you want to see it that way. The camera pulls back from Miho, way back….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back, finally revealing a fact I mentioned early on: we’re on a giant aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean. I argued earlier that the setting helps establish the distance from reality, and this final reveal is both necessary yet, as with the noted “flash-forward” introduction, I’m not sure it was used properly. Unlike the flash-forward which was done for marketing purposes (in my opinion), the carrier reveal may have been better used to establish the setting at the beginning. Not EXPLAINED to be clear, that mystery box can lie there for an episode or two. But I suspect it had to be moved to the end so they could include the flash-forward as a “hook.” Just my thoughts. That’s Episode 1 of Girls und Panzer, as I see it. The series’ primary power lies in the dichotomy of being both more grounded and more alien than similar series. Of course, we’ve only had a taste of how weird this alternate universe is. And to be clear, while the other series have significant spiritual and even literal alien factors, Girls und Panzer doesn’t create that situation. Reality is hand-waved *just enough*, at least at the beginning. The later film and movies push on that line a bit harder, but by then; we know what we’re getting into. I will try to keep in mind as I get to more recent releases, if I would have rejected the series had that particular film been my introduction. That’s currently an open question. But we’re not there yet. Coming next is Episode 2: Tanks! We Ride Them!
I’ve discussed the series before and it’s time to give it a true spotlight. The Yakuza series is a kooky blast. I love it. There’s tons to do from bowling to batting to mahjong, there really is something for everyone. And I never would have even given any of the games a chance if it […]
I’ve discussed the series before and it’s time to give it a true spotlight. The Yakuza series is a kooky blast. I love it. There’s tons to do from bowling to batting to mahjong, there really is something for everyone. And I never would have even given any of the games a chance if it wasn’t for a YouTube let’s play series that spotlighted the game. I assumed that the Yakuza games were just Japanese Grand Theft Auto. I think that was the common thought at the time and likely still is. But the fact of the matter is they are very very different. The majority of the Yakuza games are more akin to beat ’em ups with RPG elements than the third person shooters of the GTA franchise that people are familiar with. The series is extremely experimental with its gameplay. Yakuza 1-3 are mostly the same style of combat. You play as Kazuma Kiryu and punch, kick, and bash your way though enemies and pump points into improving stats and skills. Yakuza 4 added a few characters with different playstyles that really varied up the gameplay loop. Yakuza 5 got really wild and pretty divisive with the edition of an idol questline for one of the main characters. It revolved entirely around rhythm games and it was mandatory. I enjoyed it but it pushed a lot of people away. Yakuza 6 got back to the roots of the series. You play as Kiryu again as the only protagonist. Then 7 was a JRPG. Turn-based combat. Complete genre jump. Those are just the mainline titles, too. Yakuza 0 revolves entirely around money and forgoes the use of experience points. It’s all about the grind. Yakuza Dead Souls is a what-if zombie game with the worst shooting controls I’ve used since Syphon Filter on the PS1. Ishin is Yakuza set during the end of Edo period. Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii includes ship combat kind of similar to Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag. They don’t always stick the landing, but they are constantly trying new things and its typically a blast to see the similarities and differences in each game. The main draw of combat are Heat Actions. Heat Actions are special moves where you utterly brutalize your opponents in ways that would definitely kill them in real life. Repeatedly stabbing someone, throwing a Harley Davidson onto them and stomping on it, throwing people off a bridge, giving them a piledriver, curb stomping them or many other fun acts of assault/attempted murder. Heat actions are a showcase of the anime-esque hyper-stylized combat of the Yakuza series. If combat stops scratching the itch for a bit, you can go and play any of the dozens or minigames available. I’ve already discussed some of those games, but I also learned a few fun ones that I had never heard of before. Oichi Kabu, Koi Koi, and Japanese mahjong were a requirement for me to learn to get the platinum trophy at one point and out of necessity I found a niche set of games to enjoy when I play each of the games. Once in a while I even play them on my phone, but I suck at them so I typically get frustrated enough to quit if I’m playing against other people. Each series has its own special set of mini games too. One of my favorites is the Yakuza 5 taxi simulator that kind of feels like Crazy Taxi if, instead of ignoring the law and any survival instincts you have, you have to follow a stringent set of rules to follow while trying to dodge suicidal pedestrians. I also enjoy the hunting minigame in Yakuza 5, which is pretty much what you’d expect. Except you fist fight a bear. Which brings me around to the most divisive element that exists in all the games. The story. The stories of the games is always a bit of a slog. The devs use text scrolls, walk-and-talk segments, and cutscenes to tell the goofiest anime shit you’ve ever seen. People can survive basically anything unless they can’t. Everyone is double and triple crossing each other. Kiryu is simultaneously the smartest and dumbest person in the room depending on how they want to exposit any given storyline. And most frustrating of all, said exposition never ends. I remember one night being tired but knowing I wanted to play the newest Yakuza game I had purchased. I figured, I’ll put a time limit on this. I either finish all the cutscenes and dialogue or go to bed at midnight, whichever came second so I could just boot the game up and play next time I felt like getting some console time in. Yakuza’s cutscenes were second… by an hour. And since the series didn’t start dubbing the games until Yakuza 7, you can’t half pay attention and do something else. You either lock in or accept that you’re not going to really know what’s going on. I love the Yakuza franchise. I love the mainline games. I’ve really enjoyed the spinoffs that I’ve played. I am a crackhead completionist who has a long list of activities to check off of a list and, by god, I check those boxes. But I have a hard time wholeheartedly recommending them to people. Unless you’re comfortable mashing your way dialogue and ignoring the details of the story or dedicating some serious time to reading the story, it’s hard to say it’s worth picking up. If you want a more grounded experience, Yakuza isn’t for you. I highly recommend you at least give the games a look if any of what I said above sounds interesting, though. As much as I whine about the clunky story telling, the stories in each game are typically pretty fun if not outright good. Yakuza 0 in particular is a great place to start. You’ll miss out on some prequel “mind blown” moments but I promise it’s not a big deal. Yakuza 0 has my favorite story and character progression. Combat’s great too but Yakuza 4’s system reigns supreme in my heart. Just know what to expect going in. It’s more anime than primetime network TV. Just keep a lookout. Majima is everywhere.
This week I’ve been more Deep Rock Galactic, but now one of my siblings is playing with me. They’ve been mostly just playing Scout (which is understandable) and I’ve been jumping between classes depending on the mission. Having another person instead of Bosco means that some missions are so much easier, the salvage operations are […]
This week I’ve been more Deep Rock Galactic, but now one of my siblings is playing with me. They’ve been mostly just playing Scout (which is understandable) and I’ve been jumping between classes depending on the mission. Having another person instead of Bosco means that some missions are so much easier, the salvage operations are most notable, Bosco is nice to have, but two people during the drop pod repair is so much better. The game s&box just released, so I’m probably going to be trying that out when I have time. How’re you guys doing this week?
A few years ago Playstation Plus released PowerWash Simulator as a “free” monthly release and I tried it out. I didn’t care for it. The controls felt imprecise and the expected completion percentage for each surface and job was too high. I just found it frustrating. So I stopped playing and uninstalled it. That’s what […]
A few years ago Playstation Plus released PowerWash Simulator as a “free” monthly release and I tried it out. I didn’t care for it. The controls felt imprecise and the expected completion percentage for each surface and job was too high. I just found it frustrating. So I stopped playing and uninstalled it. That’s what I tend to do a lot with the PSPlus games. I keep paying for it each year because I will never learn. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. Well, recently I was extremely manic. Luckily, extreme mania for me just looks like really high anxiety and a struggle with impulsive spending. At least from the outside looking in. But with that mania came a restlessness with the games I was playing. Nothing could hold my attention. For reference, right now my rotation of console games that I switch around through are Ace Combat 7, UFC 5, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, PGA 2K25, and Balatro. Balatro was too frustrating, PGA and UFC were too repetitive, I had marathoned COE33 the night before and wanted something else, and I’m in the end game grind with AC7 so it’s in the small doses of completion phase. TLDR: nothing scratched the itch. So I spent some time looking through my digital library of games that I felt like may have had more milage, and there was PowerWash Simulator. I enjoyed browsing r/powerwashingporn back in the day. It was really satisfying to see the process of cleaning and the end result. Maybe it was worth another shot. I booted the game up and, after a few moments of reacquainting myself with the controls and mechanics, I felt a feeling of calm take over. Something about the slow progress made by the repetitive but non-identical tasks took my brain and squeezed out the panic. I was powerwashing a wall in the game but it really did feel like my brain was getting a bit of a squeegee too. My previous judgements had stemmed from a mental state that just wasn’t going to allow for a pleasant experience with a new different type of game. That all got me thinking about just how effective video games can be a meditative tool. Not just calming, but truly effective as a measure of mental cleansing. I’ve said plenty of times in plenty of conversations that video games help me relax. That’s just plain untrue. I do relax while playing games sometimes. I just wrote a paragraph about it, in fact. But the majority of the time I play games I am doing so to enjoy the challenge and the room for creativity. Some of my favorite games of all time are in the Dark Souls series and the only times I’ve ever felt comfortable in those games is when I’ve gotten myself into a position to have nothing to lose. I just don’t gravitate towards cozy stuff. When I do, though, it’s an incredibly potent tool. Mining in Minecraft lulls me to sleep at times. Not because it’s boring but because it’s so soothing. When I’m grinding enemies in an RPG for a rare drop I’m rarely enjoying myself, but I am at peace. Until now I had never really appreciated that some actions in some games really are a form of meditation. Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting crisscross applesauce and chanting. Finding your inner zen really could just be pressing left click in the same spots over and over. It could be practicing combo strings in training mode in your favorite fighting game. Find your thing and quiet your mind sometimes so you can enjoy yourself instead of forcing yourself to boot up a particular game because it’s just what you do with the boys every Saturday night. My bipolar ass just found out that it’s actually useful, so it’s at least something I plan on doing moving forward.
This week I started a Skyblock world in Terraria. I started it mostly out of curiosity, but I am enjoying the change of pace. There’re only two islands in the whole map, one is the spawn island, which is made of only plain dirt and cloud blocks, and the other has the shimmer. Most of […]
This week I started a Skyblock world in Terraria. I started it mostly out of curiosity, but I am enjoying the change of pace. There’re only two islands in the whole map, one is the spawn island, which is made of only plain dirt and cloud blocks, and the other has the shimmer. Most of the ways you get materials are from slimes. On the surface they drop grass seeds, acorns and more ore. In the underground they drop stone, dirt, web, granite, and marble. Mimics can spawn pre-hardmode and will drop gold chest loot. Finally, the Eye of Cthulhu will drop a demon altar, and the Eater of Worlds/Brain of Cthulhu will drop dungeon bricks so you can fight Skeletron. How’s everyone else doing this week?
So on top of dealing with an emotional crisis for the last few weeks, work schedules had to significantly change this week. As someone who relies heavily on routine and task completion this has thrown me off significantly. The dogs just reminded me again that things are not going the way they’re supposed to, as […]
So on top of dealing with an emotional crisis for the last few weeks, work schedules had to significantly change this week. As someone who relies heavily on routine and task completion this has thrown me off significantly. The dogs just reminded me again that things are not going the way they’re supposed to, as they have interrupted me once again, resulting in two of the dogs going out for a quick romp. Normally everyone would be home right now, just finishing dinner and preparing for the upcoming week. This keeps shorting out my editing, and eventually I decided to just throw out what I was writing and start something new. It did occur to me pretty quickly last week that my post on Star Trek lore kind of wandered off-topic and never really addressed the point I intended to make. Steve Shives’ video was about how Starfleet is never really held accountable for mistakes, even when episodes, story arcs, or even entire properties really indicate that they should be. Starfleet Academy is the most recent and glaring example, and the entire first season seems to be making the point. Bringing back Holly Hunter’s character to lead Starfleet and start training a new generation (heh) of cadets, especially the one she is most directly responsible for harming prior to the series start, sets up a tacit acknowledgement that “just doing what is right according to the rules” was *probably not the best decision*. And then in the end, as I wrote, they bring it all to a boil to make the message clear….and then just throw it out the window. Really weakly, too. They don’t just water the message down, they literally run away from it. I want to be clear this doesn’t *ruin* the series. Not for me, not for anyone I know who enjoyed the show. But it was, in my opinion, a bad choice. It made the conclusion…anticlimactic. I am looking forward to the next season and I’m sad at the moment we already know it will be the last. Of course, things can change. Remember that the people in charge, more than anything else, want to make money and spend as little as possible. If they “cancel” a series it’s because they think that will make them more money in the long run, for whatever reason. Those reasons may be stupid and wrong, but I don’t think it’s a conspiracy. I think it’s greed. How that ties in to “lore” is similar. I don’t think the decision to chicken out on the story elements in the end was because of some kind of hidden agenda…I think the creators were faced with “we can’t have Starfleet be perceived as the bad guy on an ongoing basis. We already have bad guys in this show, viewers will be confused if we directly attack Starfleet as well. Plus, Starfleet is ALWAYS the good guy; they represent people trying their hardest and doing their best. We can’t violate that belief!” That’s a consequence of lore. And it stretches back to the original series. Starfleet can’t ever be shown to make a mistake that isn’t addressed before the end of the current plot. Because Starfleet is supposed to represent a better humanity than the one watching the TV series. Star Trek got more and more daring about testing that, but even when “Starfleet is the bad guy,” think Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, it’s effectively Starfleet that addresses the problem. Or mostly passively exists while the problem is solved, which is how Starfleet usually passes the time. Anyway, that’s the thesis statement: Starfleet ultimately couldn’t be the bad guy in Starfleet Academy despite being portrayed that way because the lore says Starfleet isn’t the bad guy, even when they are. It’s just too a big a step to take for most producers. I have no doubt we will see it someday, maybe sooner rather than later. But Academy backed away at the last minute. I recently discovered “coffee bars” in Vietnam look and work similar to what in the United States used to be called “strip clubs.” Maybe they’re still called that, I don’t know. DJ, lots of cheap seating at low tables, dance platforms, and mostly women wearing lingerie or club wear (some men, usually dancing topless in jeans). No nudity of any kind, although while searching to confirm details I kind of got the impression there are places where clothing removal takes place. The DJs and music selection are given much more prominence, with nightcore mixes of song snippets from the 1980’s to present day receiving custom-mixed bridges, intros, and breaks. While the dancing entertainment is very akin to a U.S. dancer club (someone I know who worked at such a place years ago could emulate the dancing and point to the various movements as the type of thing you would learn to do on your first night) the DJ performance is more similar to club DJs from the Northeast of the U.S. Creating mixes, joining them for long playlists. I study pop music and this has been fascinating. Before deleting, the post I was working on discussed movies where “the bad guys wins.” This was initially prompted by a video discussing an episode of The Twilight Zone, from 1985 if I remember correctly, where a Vietnam War vet uses psychic powers at a diner in response to the oppressive actions of a local police officer. The episode manages the difficult job of making it clear the veteran is likely responsible for the deaths of dozens, maybe even hundreds of people; but unintentionally and despite his ongoing efforts to prevent harm. The police officer is most directly responsible for the incident that ensues, and appropriately receives his own comeuppance. And in the end, this particular encounter ends the life of the main character…but we’ve already been informed other Vietnam War vets can do the same things he can, and they’re out there…somewhere. Compare this with the movie Fallen starring Denzel Washington. I know people who love this movie, although I was surprised to see the consensus opinion these days seems much worse than I remember. My own view is that it’s kind of a serious take on Chucky (although the killer is never a doll). The killer can relocate to a new body by touch and Fallen lays out red herrings with glee from the very beginning, only to reveal the final answer was never brought up before. This ties in to “establishing lore” as well, you know. As with any mystery, the ability to perceive the clues in the story is important to the audience. Or at least some of the audience. I am reminded of the confrontation scene in Murder By Death where Lionel Twain accuses the collection of mystery author/detective composites they frequently “…made [mysteries] impossible to solve by withholding clues, or introducing new characters at the last minute.” Of course, you don’t need any of that lore to enjoy Murder By Death, itself; Neil Simon is commenting mostly on the TV and big screen performances of detectives that first appeared in novels and short stories in the early 20th century. When you can’t present every clue from a story in a screenplay because it would make the finished product fourteen hours long, changes have to be made. Only rarely do those changes produce a superior product. Not necessarily *less entertaining* mind you, and that’s certainly the point of, say, David Suchet portraying Hercule Poirot. But less accurate and intellectually satisfying, definitely. I have tried playing the original Vindictus twice in the past two weeks, and I’ve got something getting hung up with the controls. Just going through the tutorial level things work great until at some random point I lose control of the mouse. I have not spent much time finding the problem, yet. This is an older game that I only picked up because several people started making a fuss (possibly paid) about the remake/sequel/successor game coming out soon. Likewise, I saw only today an advertisement for Metro 2033 with the tagline “Return to the metro.” Yet I can find no reason for these ads, yet. If anyone knows, feel free to mention it. That’s it for now, see you soon!
Recently I started watching the Simpsons from Season 1 forward after I had the terrible realization that there were episodes from the “golden years” that I had never seen. I didn’t get into the Simpsons until my middle school years when it was syndicated and shown on TBS after school every day. It was my […]
Recently I started watching the Simpsons from Season 1 forward after I had the terrible realization that there were episodes from the “golden years” that I had never seen. I didn’t get into the Simpsons until my middle school years when it was syndicated and shown on TBS after school every day. It was my background show I watched when I did my homework. I got a couple of the box sets of DVDs back in the day but never actually got around to watching any except the very first episode back then. Now, with the power of disgusting corporate conglomeration into a monopolistic monstrosity I can watch the whole series on Disney+. My goal is to catch all the way up. Thirty-seven seasons of wildly varying content. I want to see where things went wrong and where they start to pull back together, as I actually like some of the newer episodes I’ve seen here and there. So far I’m just up to Season 4 and I have to say, the term “flanderization” is off the mark. Season 1 Ned Flanders was the All-American perfect neighbor with the beautiful house, yard, wife, and kids. He was everything Homer wanted to be, which is what made him so mad. Cut to Season 3 Ned Flanders. Same guy except now we know he’s religious and featured more frequently. That small change has been seen as so drastic and so wild as a shift that it birthed its own page on TV tropes and spawned many a video essay. But I think that reaction is unearned and misguided. With Flanders it really just feels like a natural evolution. We knew he was a goody-two-shoes, so it only makes sense that he would get his strict moral character from somewhere. Religion feels like a solid direction for it to have come from. The complaint people tend to have is that his character gets boiled down to nothing but a side character for religious jokes, but I don’t really see that at all. We regularly learn more about Ned and get spotlights showing more about his character over the seasons. There is an episode or two that feature Ned that have made me cry. He’s got depth. If there’s any character that becomes flanderized, it’s Homer. Season 1 Homer is a bit shlubby and dopey, but you can see his love and appreciation for his family immediately. Season 3 Homer is a dangerous idiot. Season 3 Homer shouldn’t have a family because Season 3 Marge should have left and taken the kids away from him. I love watching him and his antics, but it’s an aggressive shift from a well-meaning teddy bear to selfish “jerkass” with no real reason or explanation other than the fact that The Simpsons is an animated sitcom. I think that maybe people see the lowering quality of Simpsons writing and try to come up with explanations that are more complicated than reality. It really could be that writers found other jobs and people’s interest in the show fatigued. The product eventually got less appealing, but when does it really make that shift? I’m going to find out. I’m committed. I know that at some point later on I’ll have to disassociate my way through the Simpsons writers’ room trying to be topical and edgy in a way that feels very “How do you do, fellow kids?” I will get through it. I am strong enough. If I need you to send help I’ll start writing in haikus. I have started this Journey whose end is far off Mistake made? Likely
This week was just killing time with more Deep Rock Galactic. But I did pick up Teardown again. I’ve always had a fondness for voxel based games. And, Teardown is just beautiful, the gameplay is simple, but I just love the feedback with the lights and sounds. Sometimes you just need to be given a […]
This week was just killing time with more Deep Rock Galactic. But I did pick up Teardown again. I’ve always had a fondness for voxel based games. And, Teardown is just beautiful, the gameplay is simple, but I just love the feedback with the lights and sounds. Sometimes you just need to be given a sledgehammer and just be told ‘break that’. So aside from playing property damage: the game, I’ve just been busy with work. How’s everyone else this week?
Steve Shives posted a video the other day about how more recent Star Trek properties are more willing to show flaws and failures; imperfections in the characters and institutions featured in the stories. But also, prominently; how they almost always “take it back” in the end. “Fall short of committing.” “Pull the rug out.” Most […]
Steve Shives posted a video the other day about how more recent Star Trek properties are more willing to show flaws and failures; imperfections in the characters and institutions featured in the stories. But also, prominently; how they almost always “take it back” in the end. “Fall short of committing.” “Pull the rug out.” Most especially regarding Starfleet, which is the ultimate authority and representative of *all* humans and allied species and cultures in most Star Trek media. Shives pointed out three examples from the Picard series, Strange New Worlds, and most recently the first series of Starfleet Academy. The Picard example can to an extent be laid next to the blender the whole idea was run through at some point, and Strange New Worlds; being very episodic in nature, I would be willing to not take overly seriously because what’s true in one episode isn’t necessarily true in the next. (I want to be clear, this is based on taking things at face value and REFUSING to look even slightly deeper…my opinion changes once that is done.) But the Starfleet Academy example is very clear and unapologetic, as that series IS built on an overarching narrative with specific actions and a named and repeatedly featured villain. But in the end, despite creating an obvious and understandable story arc, the writers choose essentially to have the protagonist of the backstory NOT LEARN anything, or change because of events even though that is repeatedly shown throughout the series, but defend their decisions which they have regretted for two decades with “hey, everybody makes mistakes. You have to understand the context, blah blah blah.” I mean, it’s a choice; but the story naturally supported a different conclusion. It was sitting right there. The whole series was based on the idea. And I’m not gonna tell you about it because spoilers. A lot of people will be tempted to argue about this along the lines of “New Trek” vs ‘Old Trek.” There are topics here that are relevant; heck I introduced one of them: “New Trek” is much more willing to show the problems of the future. I don’t have an issue with that myself and I certainly don’t see it as *contrary* to Star Trek in any way. I also, ftr, don’t care about Star Trek or any other sci-fi property being “political.” I think being political is a valid use of spec fic. I DO NOT have much tolerance for “it has to present THIS OPINION, or NOT PRESENT THIS VIEW; or it doesn’t count.” If I don’t enjoy watching a TV show, I’m not gonna keep watching it. A good example: I don’t disagree with the overall narrative of Deep Space Nine. It’s fine. But I don’t enjoy the series. Nothing particularly bothers me, I’m not gonna go on any rants about it, I just don’t like watching it. There’s probably one or two scenes in every episode I enjoy. But overall the series generates no emotion for me. I just don’t like it. Hopefully, people read to this statement: my biggest takeaway from Steve’s video was reinforcing something I talked about a couple of times regarding horror slasher villains; the lore of the series. No matter what you’re making, if your product is simply marketed as or actually meant to be part of an existing franchise, people are going to bring all established lore with them when they watch (or play, or listen, or read.) The important part of my Star Trek argument is the inverse; the closer you get to the origin the less lore applies. And I’m gonna write some thoughts on that rather than…other things. Star Trek, the original series (which I will refer to frequently as TOS, as is the custom) had no lore. Certainly we retroactively apply a meta-narrative and try to make it all fit NOW, but it’s important to understand that is a form of retconning itself. What class of ship is the (TOS) Enterprise? If all you knew about Star Trek WAS TOS, then it’s a “Starship”-class…starship. I’m making a bit of fun but if you don’t know, that class is literally stated in one episode. Who and what the entire future universe was, was brought into the series. Not to say the real, current world wasn’t an influence; the often-brilliant commentary, some of which is built directly into the fabric of the series, wouldn’t be possible without an audience bringing their own assumptions and understandings. Again referencing the Enterprise, it even has a class because post-WW2 United States was most-familiar with thinking of large vessels by their “class.” The “USS” part of “U.S.S. Enterprise” would have been expected, but was written to be United Space Ship and was referenced in multiple episodes of the original series. The “NCC” of the registration number “NCC-1701” was derived from “N” being the aircraft registration code for U.S. aircraft, one of the “C”‘s meant to imply “civilian,” and the second “C” because the Soviet Union was abbreviated N.C.C.P. Designer Matt Jefferies believed any effort to explore space would require U.S. and Soviet cooperation. A fundamental message of the series was of world cooperation. At the time of production the Soviet Union was the dominant “enemy” of the United States, therefore implying in any way cooperation, even only in looks, with the Soviets was preposterous. The series would later add an almost cartoonishly stereotypical Russian cast member to push the point further. (All the meanings and implications of the Chekov character is an entire separate discussion.) The number “1701” was chosen for visual clarity on television. Because the actual choices were non-series-lore-related, none of this is “in universe.” In fact “NCC” has no official lore, although fandom broadly accepts the idea that “NCC” means “Naval Construction Contract.” The casting of the original series itself was both a great asset and occasional hindrance. The premise of the series and many stories require that the viewer see the relevance to the obviously human audience of the 1960’s. “Aliens” are therefore very human-like. Yes, the budget was a major factor here, as well; but we can’t disregard that the more “alien” something seems the easier it is to dismiss their thoughts and motives. This can be a benefit as well; it’s easier to accept an alien’s view of life solely on the grounds that “they can’t view things the same way as a human.” The original series was able to tuck a lot of criticism into alien viewpoints. Sometimes completely unremarked, because people dismissed the “alien” thoughts. And the series frequently couched commentary within a joke. Laugh at the alien who doesn’t understand humans. Clever, to an extent; but it’s also clear many viewers missed the point. Then, of course, the final laugh at the alien became it’s own trope. As Star Trek series led to Star Trek series, having a predominantly-human and human-like cast did have the effect of limiting how exotic a story could be. Creator Gene Roddenberry tried several times to explore stories with alien viewpoints that were rarely positively-received. Roddenberry’s fixation on sexual relations likely limited several of these stories as well, but that was its own problem. Star Trek The Next Generation introduced more alien cast members, encounters, and sometimes viewpoints; but learned quickly their realm was human melodrama, just like TOS. “Starfleet” and “The United Federation of Planets” are both products of the original series, but they weren’t created complete. The role and nature of both would change based on the needs of the given story they were included in. This led to both institutions being defined by a set of waypoints in the fog. This more than anything led to a wide variety of views in the fandom about how these structures formed and operated, and exactly what they *were* in relation to particular stories. It doesn’t help that any product not presented through a licensed TV(/streaming) series or movie is NOT canonical. As with Star Wars, there was a period when novels and comic books, and roleplaying games, for the record; were all the fandom had. These frequently were created by or benefited from input by known Star Trek writers and were often accepted as factual relative to the original property. Creators sometimes even talked or acted as if these stories *were* part of the main timeline. By the time you reach Star Trek The Next Generation in 1987, the list of what people *think* they know about Star Trek that has never actually been established is much longer than the known factbook. The lore behind TNG was the original series, technically the animated series (but that wasn’t referenced by many people) and three movies (a fourth was in production at the same time and would be released only months before the series debuted.) Non-canonical lore had been around for almost twenty years, but the efforts to produce more Star Trek since the 1970’s had more impact on the finished product. And the movies, for that matter. But TNG was also the first time I remember people presenting “problems” with the series based solely on their understanding of the Star Trek universe; the lore. And it’s kind of just become worse ever since. And then you add “the internet” a decade later and you get into the era of online tribalism. Which is, like many other things I talked about, it’s own issue.
Not long ago every game had an ill conceived, tacked on multiplayer mode that everyone ignored. Like, who the hell played the Last of Us’s multiplayer? I did. I was forced to if I wanted to get the platinum. But it was a needless waste of time and money for the devs for a middling […]
Not long ago every game had an ill conceived, tacked on multiplayer mode that everyone ignored. Like, who the hell played the Last of Us’s multiplayer? I did. I was forced to if I wanted to get the platinum. But it was a needless waste of time and money for the devs for a middling game mode with a very short half life. The multiplayer modes never needed to be included. Nobody wanted them. Thankfully that has mostly gone away. A relative of the tacked on multiplayer mode has persisted however: the minigame. As I stated in my prior article, I’ve been playing through Expedition 33. And as I’ve stated several times in the past, I’m a completionist. That means I am doing everything offered in the game so far, including some of the most frustrating unfun segments I’ve dealt with in my life. First of which was a long platforming challenge in a game with floaty, imprecise controls. Jump puzzles in games where platforming clearly isn’t even considered in the design of the controls is always a nightmare and I’ll never understand why devs feel the need to jam them in. E33 is far from the worst I can think of but it is the most recent. Back in the day when I played Maplestory there were quests that I just walked away from. The controls didn’t allow for enough precision to justify the effort. Elden Ring has some hidden items that force you to platform VERY carefully to reach. Just because you can run and jump in a game doesn’t mean you should need to lower your head and plow through some poorly conceived nonsense. Later on I played volleyball with some sentient paintbrushes and this was what pissed me off. E33 has one of the most satisfying combat systems in a turn based game I’ve played in a very long time. King of the mechanics that are employed is the parry. Few things feel better than nailing a string of parries and landing a crushing counter. Even without the parry system the combat is great. But the ability to completely negate an enemy’s damage by learning their patterns and properly executing on that knowledge. I think the devs had this in mind when they came up with the volleyball minigame. And I think that’s where all thought was concluded. You’re stuck on a little raft in the water where you have to run back and forth around this platform and aim where your parry goes. In a game with floaty imprecise controls. There are 3 tiers of difficulty in opponents and the 3rd is an absolute monster. Huge health bar, fast “attacks,” and higher damage from the occasional flaming paintbrush baby. When you get to that last opponent you are expected to just execute perfectly. If you miss a parry the animation takes far too long to reset and you eat damage as a guarantee. You can recover, but it’s very difficult. I eventually completed it and it felt good to conquer that nightmare but in the same way popping a stubborn pimple can feel rewarding. I’d rather not have had to go through the effort. The good news is that all of the above minigames are optional. That’s what they should always be. Optional. They can be loads of fun but please for the love of god give me some choice. Sometimes developers get their minigames so right that their releases almost double as minigame collections. Final Fantasy X had blitzball, which is super polarizing, but I genuinely adored. Grand Theft Auto has dozens of side activities and objectives you can take part in. Pretty much every JRPG in the last 20 years has had a fishing minigame of some sort. And the Yakuza series, my beloved, has some of the most entertaining side content in all of video games. Darts, batting cages, bowling, pool, Japanese mahjong, gambling. All are available and all are fun. And the king of all minigames, at least to me, is Triple Triad. Final Fantasy VIII was a Triple Triad game with some RPG to push through for me. Hours of fun. I play RPGs for character progression systems and story. I play FPS games for satisfying gunplay and a decent challenge to overcome. I don’t play platformers because I genuinely suck at them and find them frustrating. For those of you who can play Super Meat Boy or Celeste with any degree of precision and confidence, I tip my hat to you. I just don’t have the manual dexterity or patience. Which brings me back to my earlier point. Platforming, in my opinion, needs very delicate and precise balance. You have to ride a fine line between floaty and ice skating levels of momentum. You have to decide when a character can catch themselves on ledges or whether you want that to even be a mechanic. You have to determine how long you can expect a player to continue without messing up and how to fix sections where the balance is off, via checkpoints or what have you. I want experimentation in game design. If a developer wants to include a minigame where you copulate off-screen until a vase falls over and breaks, whatever David Jaffe. Go for it. But I do insist that it be treated as a separate entity within your game that you design with care and attention. If you bring over your control scheme and make it some form of challenge, ensure that it actually works and isn’t just a torturous mess. It makes the quest for completion for masochists and idiots like me so much more annoying.
I haven’t done much this week. I’ve been too busy to play much Terraria, so instead I’m playing Deep Rock Galactic. Not much going on there, just playing solo and collecting stuff from this current season. What’s everyone else doing this week?
I recently picked up and started playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. I’ve been really enjoying it so far. It’s the French-est thing I’ve ever seen or experienced, which is novel to me. Like, it’s aggressively French. The Eiffel Tower, mimes, French curse words, berets… Add some sexually aggressive men and some wine and you’d basically […]
I recently picked up and started playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. I’ve been really enjoying it so far. It’s the French-est thing I’ve ever seen or experienced, which is novel to me. Like, it’s aggressively French. The Eiffel Tower, mimes, French curse words, berets… Add some sexually aggressive men and some wine and you’d basically be in Paris. The visuals are beautiful. The combat system is the most engaging turn-based system I’ve played since The Legend of Dragoon. The story, at least from what I’ve seen so far, is incredibly interesting. I do find myself a bit frustrated every time I pick up the controller, however. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m no expert navigator. I use my GPS to get around pretty much everywhere outside of the few places I frequent in my area. I disassociate and pretend to pay attention to directions that are given to me like they aren’t basically in a foreign language. I do my best to learn routes and landmarks and I get by okay. However in video games I typically don’t have that problem. Typically if there’s a free roam element to games there is an accompanying mini map or map screen that allows you to set waypoints to follow. It has become so ubiquitous that I now rarely even think about it. I just press the menu button, find my destination, and go. So when I’m playing this fun new game which has themes of adventure and exploration, I feel a little frustrated when I roam around areas and get completely lost. All that Expedition 33 gives you for navigation is a compass. You are told a general direction to head and sent off to figure it out. In the overworld you’re given a map to look at, albeit rather devoid of details. Why is this a problem? I like to complete games. It’s my thing. It’s hard to complete an open world game when you can get easily turned around and have very little idea of which paths that you’ve already explored. Worse than that, though, is that I feel punished for checking out cool features in levels. If I spend a bit of time looking at something neat I can end up turned around entirely. I’m almost lucky in that regard, though. I’m convinced my wife would circle her own ass until she collapsed into a black hole if the GPS satellites all went offline one day. She’s an intelligent, talented, wonderful woman, but she couldn’t navigate her way down a one way street. Take a person like her and plop her into a game like this and it would turn her off of it immediately. A lack of a navigation system almost becomes an accessibility feature at that point. And honestly I think we have hit a point where a proper map system should be expected in modern game design, like the mostly homogenized twin joystick control system for FPSs on console. It’s outdated to expect people to memorize your maps when you can make it 1000 times easier on them to give them the ability to navigate in your game world when it’s larger than a certain size. I’ve dealt with the days of mapping levels and worlds by drawing on paper in real life. I don’t want to go back to it. I’m still enjoying Expedition 33, but I’d like it a hell of a lot more if I didn’t get lost every few minutes while I try to fully explore the levels. I enjoy the game and despite it’s flaws and peculiarities that come with being a smaller game company. It feels a lot like a game made by an ex-Ubisoft team because it is. And Ubisoft isn’t exactly known for perfection. I’ll enjoy what I have. I’ll just be a whiny baby about it until I finish the game off and nobody can stop me.
Not much this week, just taking our time with Terraria. We’ve been hanging out post Plantera, waiting for the Angler to give us the materials for the shellphone. I think my favorite feature in this version is the banner menu, going on a mining trip and not having banners fill my precious inventory space. Also […]
Not much this week, just taking our time with Terraria. We’ve been hanging out post Plantera, waiting for the Angler to give us the materials for the shellphone. I think my favorite feature in this version is the banner menu, going on a mining trip and not having banners fill my precious inventory space. Also happy April fools day I forgot about it so I don’t have anything silly lined up so, how’s everyone else this week?
Haydee is a 2016 Metroidvania-style third-person shooter that centers exploration and platforming…and survival. Many people would consider those descriptions somewhat redundant to “Metroidvania-style” but I think it’s important to point out survival was an aspect of almost all video games of the Metroid and Castevania era, and an important distinction for those games and the […]
Haydee is a 2016 Metroidvania-style third-person shooter that centers exploration and platforming…and survival. Many people would consider those descriptions somewhat redundant to “Metroidvania-style” but I think it’s important to point out survival was an aspect of almost all video games of the Metroid and Castevania era, and an important distinction for those games and the “genre” as a whole is that later exploration opens up areas seen but not available early in the game. Survival in Haydee is much more like early Resident Evil games: you have to avoid getting hit and conserve your ammo, medpacks, and saves. On top of that, your inventory is small and non-specialized and save points are rare. And just as you have to have a typewriter ribbon available in Resident Evil to operate a save point, Haydee must have a diskette…a separate inventory item. Over the past decade two sequels have been released to increasingly positive ratings. But I suspect most people don’t notice the game until they see the cover art: The most superficial search, or just checking Haydee‘s Steam page; confirms the main character (who is indeed the titular “Haydee”) is THICC. The game seems designed specifically to ogle her. And yet, it’s not an “adult” game. It actually feels a lot like a Tomb Raider game designed by someone who wanted to take the giggling prurient views of Lara climbing over ledges to the max. The tutorial actually does a masterful job of “show, don’t tell” to both explain the character you’re playing as and guide you through learning the controls. To start with, whether you are *all* “Haydee” or not, there are clearly a lot of you, and you are to some degree a robot or cybernetic being, given the arms: Your first challenge is to approach a door and press the correct button on your keyboard or controller to activate it. Next you learn to use the “jump” button to climb: Climbing over a ledge, or jumping to a ledge, comprises three actions. First, jump UP to grab a ledge, fall across a narrow gap and grab the ledge on the opposite side, or jump across a gap with precise timing to grab a ledge on the other side. Successfully doing any of these actions results in this: OK, you know this. Next, once you are on the other ledge, you climb(jump) again and/or push UP on your controller to ascend. Except Haydee adds a step. Doing this causes the character to pull herself over the ledge half-way: And Haydee (the main character) will just stay there, until you press JUMP again (the third step). Then she will clamber up onto her feet. So if Haydee is *that obvious,* how does it have a good reputation? Surely staring at the main character’s behind and bouncing bosoms can’t carry a game to a stellar rating? Well, no…it usually doesn’t. The bottom line is that Haydee is actually pretty smart, well-designed, and fun to play. Is there a reason the player character is so…exaggerated? I don’t know yet. I suspect the rationale, if it exists and if it’s given, will be thin. I have NOT looked up the end of the game, so I can’t tell you anything about “reasons.” For the record, there are dozens if not hundreds of skin mods for this game, including a few I found that don’t do anything but give Haydee more realistic proportions. This isn’t a hard game, but it is unforgiving. If you “oops,” then you’re starting over from the last save/checkpoint. Or even from the beginning if you learned you missed something important much earlier on and you can’t remember what order to do things in, or where something is in the mazes you explore. Getting back to Haydee’s body, this also serves as an important context clue: If you see something like that, the game is telling you “people die here a lot. You will be learning something new.” In that particular case it’s the first time you have to jump a lethal gap. I missed my first try. There’s an achievement for that. In fact I fell three or four times before I found the right placement and visual cues. Portal 1 and 2 feel (and look) very similar, although the smoothness of motion in those games keeps me guessing on jump timing. Haydee feels a bit more regimented; I don’t think I’ve missed a jump since that first challenge. The second time an important visual is presented by a dead predecessor is the first enemy you face: The Haydee body in the middle of the room is there when you arrive. The message is that the robot in the room can kill you. Having just picked up a gun, I attempted to shoot the robot. The gun, however, did not come with ammunition. And you can only take a couple of hits. Your best bet is to draw the robot away, then run past, loot the body (it has a keycard you will need to leave the level) then run to the grate in the corner and enter the crawl-way that the robot cannot fit in. Without getting hit, preferably. You will find some ammo for the gun further down this way. You can then learn how to kill the robot with the gun on the way back, but as I have read repeatedly you should conserve your ammo and this is still the tutorial level, and you can, as you already proved, easily *avoid* this robot, just run past. Return to the area you can use the keycard you looted and the tutorial is done. As you can see, I did NOT avoid getting hit. I should also note you *can* take non-lethal fall damage from certain heights, although I apparently avoided that. The tutorial itself can be learned in a few minutes. I spent about forty testing controls and figuring out how the game worked. I suspect if I give it another couple of tries I should be able to do the tutorial without damage. The biggest question is the robot you encounter toward the end; it can cross the small room in only a couple of seconds and *does not stop moving* while you loot the body. I played this segment with a controller and suspect this slowed me down. The camera view is over-the-shoulder and a bit distant from the character rather than above and behind, which means the player is acting on a “V” where the character Haydee is looking at a point to their front-right and you the player are looking at a point to your front left. When you “point” in the direction you want to move then run forward, Haydee actually runs slightly to their right, moving the cursor to the right as well. This became less-problematic as I played, so it is at least consistent and can be incorporated into the brain’s assumptions. And in a way, that’s the final argument to Haydee’s prurient design: you, the player, aren’t looking at Haydee; you’re watching the cursor. Because that’s where you’re going/aiming, and that’s how you stay alive. That’s it for this week, see you soon!
So, last week I talked about how RE9 felt like 2 games superglued together. Since then I’ve played through the game 3 more times in the hunt for the platinum trophy and I am fully committing to what I wrote before. Leon’s sections of the game are an action-packed blast akin to RE2make and REm4ke. […]
So, last week I talked about how RE9 felt like 2 games superglued together. Since then I’ve played through the game 3 more times in the hunt for the platinum trophy and I am fully committing to what I wrote before. Leon’s sections of the game are an action-packed blast akin to RE2make and REm4ke. It still keeps the weird particularities of Resident Evil games’ identity but isn’t exactly hard. Grace’s sections are scary and have you feeling underprepared and nervous at all times. It’s a very entertaining, though messy experience. I’m basically bedridden with the man flu right now and don’t have much else I want to discuss, so I will instead ask you all a question. What’s you’re favorite 7 out of 10 game? Like, you know it’s objectively not great but you still love it anyway for whatever reason.
This week was just Terraria. We haven’t really made much progress since last week since my sibling and I are jumping between different playthroughs. Our main world is early hardmode, and our second world is almost caught up at just before the Wall of Flesh. The only thing noteworthy about this run, is that through […]
This week was just Terraria. We haven’t really made much progress since last week since my sibling and I are jumping between different playthroughs. Our main world is early hardmode, and our second world is almost caught up at just before the Wall of Flesh. The only thing noteworthy about this run, is that through sheer determination and luck, I got a shadow key from the dungeon without killing Skeletron by using a hoik to get through the walls of the dungeon, I did die many times but it was worth it for the novelty alone. What’s everyone doing this week?
I Can’t Decide If I Like Resident Evil 9
This “review” will be spoiler free for Resident Evil Requiem. I rarely preorder games anymore. I’ve learned to wait to see if a game turns out to be a disaster or if I lose interest. My backlog is big enough. I don’t need to add to it and waste money at the same time. On […]
This “review” will be spoiler free for Resident Evil Requiem. I rarely preorder games anymore. I’ve learned to wait to see if a game turns out to be a disaster or if I lose interest. My backlog is big enough. I don’t need to add to it and waste money at the same time. On this particular release I deviated from that path for Resident Evil: Requiem because I’ve grown very attached to the series in the recent past. Also the few trailers I ended up seeing sold me on it. Now that I’ve gotten the game and gotten through to the end of it, I’m left conflicted. I enjoyed my time, but was the game actually good or do I just love the IP? I’m a more recent fan of the franchise, if you can call 2017 recent. Resident Evil 7 is my favorite horror game of all time and it was my first true foray into the franchise. I had dabbled in the past, but never played through a full game until I had a wander through a house full of aggressively welcoming swampbillies. From there I was hooked. I’ve now played through and 100%d each main title in the franchise except RE3 because of a long burnout-related break and RE6 because that game is a mess. Basically what I’m saying is that I’ve taken in a lot of the IP in a short amount of time and I love the franchise now. That means Requiem had me hyped when I saw that my favorite emo-haired 40-something was back to kick ass. So I picked it up and took my time through things. When I was starting the game I was met with a weird settings prompt. Which perspectives did I want for which characters? Odd. Even weirder is the suggestion that Grace’s sections be played in first person and set Leon’s sections to third person. That was my first indication that the devs took a chance on a somewhat weird approach. They were going to combine the horror-first focus of RE7’s design with the actiony gameplay focused design of RE4. Now, in theory, there’s nothing wrong with that approach. Resident Evil: Requiem would hardly be the first game to have two very different types of gameplay woven together to tell one story. However I don’t think they stuck the landing on this one very well. Grace’s sections have a true tension and nervous energy that I would expect for the type of horror that came out of Resident Evil 7’s school of design. I always felt like I never had quite enough resources and I was just a couple mistakes away from a nightmare of painful restarts or even a fresh playthrough. In short, they designed the Grace piece excellently in a vacuum. Then we switch to Leon and the game feels like RE4make. You’re a badass who is still vulnerable and has to think on your feet, but you’re never helpless unless you’ve backed yourself into a corner with mismanaged inventory and route decisions. In a vacuum Leon’s story feels great. Then the devs took these great separate games and stapled them together. The two protagonist’s stories do complement each other and converge. It’s not as though the two parts are entirely disparate. I just feel that the tonal difference makes for an odd experience overall. One moment I’m running for my life down a corridor from a giant man with a weapon, the next I’m suplexing mooks while jogging down my path from point A to point B. The devs took a swing on combining the best of two worlds but it ends up feeling like parents keeping it together for the kids. It’d likely be best for everyone if you kept the two apart. The story is great. I won’t go into details but it’s pretty much what you’d expect from a Resident Evil title. Very silly and dumb in the best way. Grace Ashcroft as the new protagonist is a welcome addition, though I did get tired of her forced-feeling stutter. The stutter is clearly there to make her seem unsure in scary situation, but it’s entirely too pronounced and predictable. It reminds me of people’s hate for the protag of RE7, Ethan’s whines and quips. It doesn’t take away from the experience but it irks me. Graphically it’s a bit gray but the game is mostly urban and dystopian at times so gray makes sense. The enemy designs are pretty damn cool. It doesn’t feel like you’re just mowing down hordes of the same, lame shambling zombies. Overall I just don’t know where I land on this one. I enjoyed my time with the game but I feel like the story telling may have benefited from a more RE2 approach where we are mostly experiencing the solo story of one protag before going through with someone else later on. Though it would need to be more than a varied route through the same building and enemies. Intermixing them felt messy. I applaud the attempt at something different and want it to be rewarded instead of letting the series stagnate into another Resident Evil 6. Keeping things weird is how progress is made. I want to keep Resident Evil weird even if once and a while that means a good game made a bit wonky by the execution.