PITTSBURGH, PA -- Shamus Young, author of the parody site The Lemon, announced at a press conference
today that he plans to continue to publish the satire magazine, despite his promise that it was, "Just a
one-time gag." After making this announcement, he allowed a few questions from the press. Here is a
transcript of his remarks:
Wall Street Jounal: Mr. Young, What prompted you to continue the magazine, when it is clear that
nobody wants to read it?
Shamus Young: Thats a good question. Mostly, I want to continue because I realized that I am providing
a valuable service to the community, and offering a unique viewpoint that will challenge the way people think
about the world we live in.
WSJ: That's a crock of [unintelligible] isn't it?
SY: Actually yes. Next question.
New Your Times: Isn't it true that your site is just a re-tread of the already tired jokes at The Onion?
SY: Another good question. Next.
Some Crappy Local Paper: Mr. Young, isn't it true that your site is widely regarded as unoriginal and
not very funny at all, and that the only reason anyone visited at all was to tell you what a piece of
[background noises] it is?
SY: Look, why are you giving me such a hard time? Don't you want to know what I'll be writing about, when my
next issue is coming out?
SCLP: Not really.
SY: But, I've added some nice new graphics, and the site has really been improved. I've written some PHP script to automate the whole process, and even
some dynamic...
SCLP: Do I look like I'm from Slashdot? Just answer the [coughing] question.
SY: Fine. Okay, the site is not that original, but it appealed to a few poeple.
Miami Herald: Your graphics look really dull too.
SY: Is that a question?
MH: It is if you answer it.
SY: I hate you all. Okay, I'll level with you sons of [audio static]. The only reason I'm doing this is
because I got so many pissed-off emails telling me how much the site sucks that I decided to keep publishing
it just to spite everyone.
MH: We thought so.
SY: My next issue will be out on monday.
MH: Whatever.