Dear people of the internet: Please stop doing these horrible idiotic things when you talk to each other.
C++ is a wonderful language for making horrible code.
The true story of three strange days in 1989, when the last months of my adolescence ran out and the first few sparks of adulthood appeared.
This mess of dross, confusion, and terrible UI design is the storefront the big publishers couldn't beat? Amazing.
Why killing you might be the least scary thing a game can do.
Sometimes software is engineered. Sometimes it grows organically. And sometimes it's thrown together seemingly at random over two decades.
You know how videogames sometimes do that thing where it's preposterously hard to go through a simple door? This one is really bad.
A horrible, railroading, stupid, contrived, and painfully ill-conceived roleplaying campaign. All in good fun.
Valve still hasn't admitted it, but the Half-Life franchise is dead. So what made these games so popular anyway?
Sometimes in-game secrets are fun and sometimes they're lame. Here's why.
We were so upset by the server problems and real money auction that we overlooked just how terrible everything else is.
It seems like a simple question, but it turns out everyone has a different idea of right and wrong in the digital world.
Which would you rather be: A king in the middle ages, or a lower-income laborer in the 21st century?
Lists of 'best games ever' are dumb and annoying. But like a self-loathing hipster I made one anyway.
For one of the most popular casual games in existence, Match 3 is actually really broken. Until one developer fixed it.
The story of me. If you're looking for a picture of what it was like growing up in the seventies, then this is for you.
Since we're rebooting everything, MASH will probably come up eventually. Here are some casting suggestions.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2014.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2011.
The plot of this game isn't just dumb, it's actively hostile to the player. This game hates you and thinks you are stupid.
Here are four games that could have been much better with just a little more work.
Is it real? Is PC gaming returning to its former glory? Sort of. It's complicated.
WAY back in 2005, I wrote about a D&D campaign I was running. The campaign is still there, in the bottom-most strata of the archives.
A music lesson for people who know nothing about music, from someone who barely knows anything about music.
A video Let's Play series I collaborated on from 2009 to 2017.
Back in 1999, I rode the dot-com bubble. Got rich. Worked hard. Went crazy. Turned poor. It was fun.
There are two major schools of thought about how you should write software. Here's what they are and why people argue about it.
Why was this classic adventure game so funny in the 80's, and why did it stop being funny?
This is why shopping for graphics cards is so stupid and miserable.
What's wrong with a game being "too videogameish"?
Most stories have plot holes. The failure isn't that they exist, it's when you notice them while immersed in the story.
Let's ruin everyone's fun by listing all the ways in which zombies can't work, couldn't happen, and don't make sense.
Crysis 2 has basically the same plot as Half-Life 2. So why is one a classic and the other simply obnoxious and tiresome?
Bethesda felt the need to jam a morality system into Fallout 3, and they blew it. Good and evil make no sense and the moral compass points sideways.
My first REAL published book, about a guy who comes back from the dead due to a misunderstanding.
Finally, the age-old debate has been settled.
How did this game avoid all the usual stupidity that ruins remakes of classic titles?
I scoured the Steam database to figure out what words were the most commonly used in game titles.
Both a celebration and an evisceration of tabletop roleplaying games, by twisting the Lord of the Rings films into a D&D game.
The product of fandom run unchecked, this novel began as a short story and grew into something of a cult hit.
A novel-sized analysis of the Mass Effect series that explains where it all went wrong. Spoiler: It was long before the ending.
No, self-aware robots aren't going to turn on us, Skynet-style. Not unless we designed them to.
Who is this imbecile and why is he wandering around Europe unsupervised?
A look back at Star Trek, from the Original Series to the Abrams Reboot.
I was trying to make fun of how Silent Hill had lost its way but I ended up making fun of fighting games. Whatever.
What are publishers doing to fight piracy and why is it all wrong?
Crunch-mode game development isn't good, but sometimes it happens for good reasons.
Remember the superhero MMO from 2009? Neither does anyone else. It was dumb. So dumb I was compelled to write this.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2016.
When the source code for Doom 3 was released, we got a look at some of the style conventions used by the developers. Here I analyze this style and explain what it all means.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2017.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2012.
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
A video discussing Megatexture technology. Why we needed it, what it was supposed to do, and why it maybe didn't totally work.
Why spend millions on visuals that are just a distraction from the REAL game of hotbar-watching?
Why Google sucks, and what made me switch to crowdfunding for this site.
An attempt to make a good looking cityscape with nothing but simple tricks and a few rectangles of light.
Everyone hates Black Friday sales. Even retailers! So why does it exist?
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?
Do you like electronic music? Do you like free stuff? Are you okay with amateur music from someone who's learning? Yes? Because that's what this is.
As someone who loves Tolkein lore and despises silly MMO quests, this game left me deeply conflicted.
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
Obviously they are. Right? Actually, is this another one of those sneaky hard-to-define things?
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
What did web browsers look like 20 years ago, and what kind of crazy features did they have?
I write a program to simulate different strategies in Starcraft 2, to see how they compare.
So what happens when a SOFTWARE engineer tries to review hardware? This. This happens.
Even allegedly smart people can make life-changing blunders that seem very, very obvious in retrospect.
There's a new graphics API in town. What does that mean, and why do we need it?
Here is a long look at a game that tries to live up to a big legacy and fails hilariously.
How did this niche racing game make a gameworld so massive, and why is that a big deal?
Why is internet news so bad, why do people prefer celebrity fluff, and how could it be made better?
Yes, this game is loud, crude, childish, and stupid. But it it knows what it wants to be and nails it. And that's admirable.
What does it mean when a program crashes, and why does it happen?
No, brutal, soul-sucking, marriage-destroying crunch mode in game development isn't a privilege or an opportunity. It's idiocy.
Did you anticipate the big plot twist of Batman: Arkham City? Here's all the ways the game hid that secret from you while also rubbing your nose in it.
Ever wondered what's in all those quest boxes you've never bothered to read? Get ready: They're more insane than you might expect.
Few people remember BioWare's Jade Empire, but it had a unique setting and a really well-executed plot twist.
Computers keep getting more powerful. So why do the population caps for massively multiplayer games stay about the same?
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2013.
Just how big IS No Man's Sky? What if you made a map of all of its landmass? How big would it be?
Imagine if the original Star Wars hadn't appeared in the 1970's, but instead was pitched to studios in 2006. How would that turn out?
A videogame that judges its audience, criticizes its genre, and hates its premise. How did this thing get made?
Would you have survived in the middle ages?
A game about the ghost of an underwater football player who travels through time to save the world from a tick that controls kaiju satan. Really.
A programming project where I set out to make a Minecraft-style world so I can experiment with Octree data.
A programming project where I set out to make a gigantic and complex world from simple data.
Two minutes of fun at the expense of a badly-run theme park.
One of the highest-rated games of all time has some of the least interesting gameplay.
Did you dislike the ending to the Mass Effect trilogy? Here's my list of where it failed logically, thematically, and tonally.
Scenes from Half-Life 2:Episode 2, showing Gordon Freeman being a jerk.
I teach myself music composition by imitating the style of various videogame soundtracks. How did it turn out? Listen for yourself.
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
Ever wonder how seemingly sane people can hate popular games? It can happen!
The Thieves Guild quest in Skyrim is a vortex of disjointed plot-holes, contrivances, and nonsense.
His problem isn't that he's dumb, the problem is that he bends the world he inhabits.
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2015.
The comments on most sites are a sewer of hate, because we're moderating with the wrong goals in mind.
Game developer Jon Blow is making a programming language just for games. Why is he doing this, and what will it mean for game development?
Yeah, this game is a classic. But the story is idiotic, incoherent, thematically confused, and patronizing.
People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
Let's do some scripting to make the Starcraft AI fight itself, and see how smart it is. Or isn't.
An ongoing series where I work on making a 2D action game from scratch.
A long-form analysis on one of the greatest horror games ever made.
I'm not surprised a fighting game has an absurd story. I just can't figure out why they bothered with the story at all.
How does image compression work, and why does it create those ugly spots all over some videos and not others?
A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.
What was the problem with the Playstation 3 hardware and why did Sony build it that way?
It's not a legend. It was real. There was a time before DLC. Before DRM. Before crappy ports. It was glorious.
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
There's a wonderful way to balance difficulty in RPGs, and designers try to prevent it. For some reason.
This series explores the troubled history of VR and the strange lawsuit between Zenimax publishing and Facebook.
What is this silly word, why did some people get so irritated by it, and why did it fall out of use?
A big chunk of the internet went down in October of 2016. What happened? Was it a hack?
Grand Theft Auto is a lousy, cheating jerk of a game.
A screencap comic that poked fun at videogames and the industry. The comic has ended, but there's plenty of archives for you to binge on.
What makes the gameplay of Borderlands so addictive for some, and what does that have to do with slot machines?
Here are 6 reasons why I forbid political discussions on this site. #4 will amaze you. Or not.
Denuvo videogame DRM didn't actually kill piracy, but it did stop it for several months. Here's what we learned from that.
A look back at one of my favorite games. The gameplay was stellar, but the underlying story was clumsy and oddly constructed.
A stream-of-gameplay review of Dead Island. This game is a cavalcade of bugs and bad design choices.
It's not a good movie, but it was made with good intentions and if you look closely you can find a few interesting ideas.
How do you know the rules of the game are what the game claims? More importantly, how do the DEVELOPERS know?
A breakdown of how this game faltered when the franchise was given to a different studio.
Be careful what you learn with your muscle-memory, because it will be very hard to un-learn it.
People were so worried about the boring gameplay of The Old Republic they overlooked just how boring and amateur the art is.
Deus Ex Mankind Divided was a clumsy, tone-deaf allegory that thought it was clever, and it managed to annoy people of all political stripes.